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| Questionable Content Number 451: She Done Right | {{Title: Number 451: She Done Right}} / [[Faye and Dora waiting, bored, in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: How long has it been sice Raven left?
/ Dora: Two hours.
/ Faye: Should we send out a search party?
/ Dora: Nah, give it another thirty minutes / [[Raven arrives, pushing a chair]]
/ Raven: I'm back! I found chairs and stuff!
/ Dora: Whoa, nice chair.
/ Raven: Yeah isn't it totally hot? I've got six more outside, and a couple end tables too! / [[Faye watching Raven]]
/ Faye: How on earth did you get all this stuff back here? You drive a VW Bug.
/ Raven: The nice man at the antique store drove it over in his pickup truck. I only had to flirt with him a little. / [[Dora, Faye, and Raven]]
/ Dora: Why the confused look, Faye?
/ Faye: [[hand on head, other arm shrugging]] Raven accomplished a complicated task without any screw-ups! I keep bracing myself for wacky hijinks but they're just not happening!
/ Raven: [[leaning on chair]] Don't worry Faye, I'm sure it'll balance out eventually. I'll probably set my butt on fire by accident or something. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=451 |
| Questionable Content Number 452: We're Not Even Going To Mention Human After All | {{Title: Number 452: We're Not Even Going To Mention Human After All}} / [[Faye and Dora sitting in new chairs in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: I'm sorry Dora, but liking Homework more than Discovery is like enjoying vanilla more than chocolate ice cream. It means you are boring.
/ Dora: Whatever. You indie kids can take your pop bias and stick it somewhere cramped and smelly. Homework is Daft Punk's best album, hands down. / [[Closeup on heads]]
/ Faye: Pop bias? Look, I'll admit that maybe I got a little over-excited about the Unicorns, but I'm not BIASED.
/ Dora: Oh yeah? Fine, name your top five bands then. / [[POV shifts to Faye in foreground]]
/ Faye: Umm, Neutral Milk Hotel, The New Pornographers, Pavement, Modest Mouse, and a tie between Spoon and Slayer.
/ Dora: See, I haven't even heard of most of those bands but I can tell just from their names that they probably play weird, idiosyncratic pop. Bonus points for liking Slayer, but my point is still proven. / [[Enter Raven]]
/ Raven: Shouldn't you guys be behind the counter in case, like, any customers come in?
/ Faye: And give up my comfy seat? Hell no!
/ Dora: I'm amending your employment contracts to include fanning me and feeding me grapes as part of your duties. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=452 |
| Number 452: We're Not Even Going To Mention Human After All | Faye: I'm sorry Dora, but liking Homework more than Discovery is like enjoying vanilla more than chocolate ice cream. It means you are boring.
/ Dora: Whatever. You indie kids can take your pop bias and stick it somewhere cramped and smelly. Homework is Daft Punk's best album, hands down. / Faye: Pop bias? Look, I'll admit that maybe I got a little over-excited about the Unicorns, but I'm not BIASED.
/ Dora: Oh yeah? Fine, name your top five bands then. / Faye: Umm, Neutral Milk Hotel, The New Pornographers, Pavement, Modest Mouse, and a tie between Spoon and Slayer.
/ Dora: See, I haven't even heard of most of those bands but I can tell just from their names that they probably play weird, idiosyncratic pop. Bonus points for liking Slayer, but my point is still proven. / Raven: Shouldn't you guys be behind the counter in case, like, any customers come in?
/ Faye: And give up my comfy seat? Hell no!
/ Dora: I'm amending your employment contracts to include fanning me and feeding me grapes as part of your duties. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=452# |
| Questionable Content Number 453 : She's Seriously Kinda Crazy | {{Title: Number 453 : She's Seriously Kinda Crazy}} / [[Dora and Faye in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: [[straightening Butter-Nut Coffee print]] So are you still nervous about your little dinner-date tonight?
/ Faye: [[Looking away]] It isn't a dinner-date! And yes, I am still nervous. / [[Faye and Raven]]
/ Raven: Marten's mom seemed nice to me. I bet as long as you don't punch him in front of her you'll be okay.
/ Faye: [[starting to panic]] But what if he, I dunno, tries to grab my boobs or something? I need to be able to defend myself! / [[Dora and Faye]]
/ Dora: Are you really that neurotic? Marten is the most harmless boy I have ever met. And why would he do that in front of his MOM anyway? Do you seriously worry about stuff like this all the time?
/ Faye: Well, I mean not ALL the time, but I guess pretty often, yeah. / [[Widen to all three]]
/ Dora: Jesus, Faye. I know everyone has their own little neuroses but you make Woody Allen looks like the Buddha by comparison.
/ Faye: Hmph. If Buddha ever tried to feel me up I'd REALLY show him that life is all suffering.
/ Raven: You know, I never got that phrase. All life isn't suffering, sometimes there are parties and makeouts! And marijuana! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=453 |
| Questionable Content Number 454: Like An Episode of CHiPS | {{Title: Number 454: Like An Episode of CHiPS}} / [[Dora, Faye, and Raven in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: Seriously though Faye, this is a bigger issue than I really thought it was.
/ Raven: Yea, I totally just figured you were a bitch.
/ Faye: Yeah I get that a lot, thanks. / [[Dora touches Faye's shoulder]]
/ Dora: Is it something you want to talk about? Did you have some kind of...problem with a boy when you were younger?
/ Faye: No no, it's nothing boy-related. I just...I'm not at a place in my life where I feel capable of talking about it and maintaining rationality. / [[Dora and Faye]]
/ Dora: I'm sorry Faye, I don't want to pressure you if you're not comfortable talking about it.
/ Faye: No, it's not your fault! I just- Look, when...bad stuff happened a few years ago, I had a nervous breakdown. Spent some time in the hospital, did the requisite therapy, all that jazz. When I got out, I came up here. I just had to get away from all those people who knew what happened and see if I could start over. / [[Dora and Faye]]
/ Dora: Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Is... is that where your scar is from? Did you try to hurt yourself somehow?
/ Faye: No no, I've told you. The scar is from a car accident.
/ Faye: Of course, I kind of had my nervous breakdown while DRIVING said automobile, so I don't really remember. The first memory I have after the accident is listening to the two EMI's trying to figure out how I got my car stuck upside down in the boughs of a big ol' oak tree and survived. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=454 |
| Number 454 | [[At the counter at Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: Seriously though Faye, this is a bigger issue than I really thought it was.
/ Raven: Yeah, I totally just figured you were a bitch!
/ Faye: Yeah I get that a lot, thanks. / [[Dora puts her hand on Faye's shoulder]]
/ Dora: Is it something you want to talk about? Did you have some kind of... problem with a boy when you were younger?
/ Faye: No no, it's nothing boy-related. I just... I'm not at a place in my life where I feel capable of talking about it and maintaining rationality. / [[Side angle facing the storefront window]]
/ Dora: I'm sorry Faye, I don't want to pressure you if you're not comfortable talking about it.
/ Faye: No, it's not your fault! I just- Look, when... bad stuff happened a few years ago, I had a nervous breakdown. Spent some time in the hospital, did the requisite therapy, all that jazz. When I got out, I came up here. I just had to get away from all those people who knew what happened and see if I could start over. / [[Facing the counter. Dora clutches her arms to her chest.]]
/ Dora: Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Is.. is that where your scar is from? Did you try and hurt yourself somehow?
/ Faye: No no, I've told you. The scar is from a car accident.
/ Of course, I kind of had my nervous breakdown while DRIVING said automobile, so I don't really remember. The first memory I have after the accident is listening to the two EMTs trying to figure out how I got my car stuck upside down in the boughs of a big ol' oak tree and survived. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=454# |
| Questionable Content Number 455: Final Wishes | {{Title: Number 455: Final Wishes}} / [[Dora and Faye in Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: Wow Faye, I hadn't realized how much heavy shit you've been through. I'm really sorry.
/ Faye: Yeah, it was a pretty bad time in my life. / [[Dora and Faye]]
/ Faye: [[brightening]] Things have been better since I moved up here though! I have a fun job and nice friends and a good place to live...
/ Dora: Exactly! Things are going better for you now! That means you'll do fine tonight. Marten's mom isn't going to murder you. / [[Closer in, talking confidentially]]
/ Faye: You really think so?
/ Dora: Actually I have no idea. You might be screwed no matter what. Either way they just came in so it's a little late for speculation.
/ Faye: Aw pissfiddles. / [[Miss Reed arrives as Raven enters from the other side]]
/ Miss Reed: Ready for dinner, Faye?
/ Faye: Sure, let me go get my blindfold and cigarette.
/ Dora: Have fun! I'll see if I can get Stephen Malkmus to play "Taps" at your funeral.
/ Raven: Wait, Faye smokes? And who's Stephen Malkmus, some famous trumpet player? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=455 |
| Number 455: Final Wishes | Dora: Wow Faye, I hadn't realized how much heavy shit you've been through. I'm really sorry.
/ Faye: Yeah, it was a pretty bad time in my life. / Faye: Things have been better since I moved up here though! I have a fun job and nice friends and a good place to live...
/ Dora: Exactly! Things are going better for you now! That means you'll do fine tonight. Marten's mom isn't going to murder you. / Faye: You really think so?
/ Dora: Actually I have no idea. You might be screwed no matter what. Either way they just came in so it's a little late for speculation.
/ Faye: Aw pissfiddles. / Ms. Reed: Ready for dinner, Faye?
/ Faye: Sure, let me get my blindfold and cigarette.
/ Dora: Have fun! I'll see if I can get Steven Malkmus to play "Taps" at your funeral.
/ Raven: Wait, Faye smokes? And who's Steven Malkmus, some famous trumpet player? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=455# |
| Questionable Content Number 456: See, They Get Along | {{Title: Number 456: See, They Get Along}} / [[Faye, Marten, and Miss Reed walking along sidewalk]]
/ Marten: So where do you wanna eat, Mom?
/ Miss Reed: I'm in the mood for something simple, maybe hamburgers? Faye, ae you a vegetarian or anything? That okay with you?
/ Faye: Fine with me! I enjoy consuming the charred flesh of dead animals. / [[Still walking]]
/ Miss Reed: What a delightfully...graphic...declaration of gastronomic preference.
/ Faye: When people are eating meat around me I like to lean in real close and whisper "you're eating that animal's muscles" in their ear.
/ Marten: Haha! "That's what they used to move around when they were alive and now you're eating it." / [[Marten and Faye]]
/ Marten: It didn't faze me when you tried that out on me, though.
/ Faye: Yeah, dammit, you were all "I know, animal muscle tastes delicious in my mouth." / [[Widen to include Miss Reed, standing a little apart]]
/ Marten: The best part was when I let a little bit of steak juice dribble down my chin as I said it!
/ Faye: Hee hee! "URRMPTH DELICIOUS MUSCLE TISSUE HURRRMPH"
/ Miss Reed: I'm glad you two can amuse each other so easily, but I think I just turned vegan. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=456 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: So where do you wanna eat, Mom?
/ Veronica: I'm in the mood for something simple, maybe hamburgers? Faye, are you a vegetarian or anything? That okay with you?
/ Faye: Fine with me! I enjoy consuming the charred flesh of dead animals. / Veronica: What a delightfully...graphic...declaration of gastronomic preference.
/ Faye: When people are eating meat around me I like to lean in real close and whisper "you're eating that animal's muscles" in their ear.
/ Marten: Haha! "That's what they used to move around when they were alive and now you're eating it." / Marten: It didn't faze me when you tried that out on me, though.
/ Faye: Yeah, dammit, you were all "I know, animal muscle tastes delicious in my mouth." / Marten: The best part was when I let a little bit of steak juice dribble down my chin as I said it!
/ Faye: Hee hee! "URRMPTH DELICIOUS MUSCLE TISSUE HURRRMPH"
/ Veronica: I'm glad you two can amuse each other so easily, but I think I just turned vegan. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=456# |
| Questionable Content Number 457: I Think It's An Irish Pub | Number 457: I Think It's An Irish Pub / [[Martin, Faye, and Miss Reed waiting to be seated in a restaurant with bright green walls]]
/ Marten: ...So your theory is that the singer from Sigur Ros is actually an otter?
/ Faye: Either an otter or a small humpback whale. No other animal could make the sounds he does.
/ Miss Reed: You know, I always suspected that Robert Plant was some kind of squawky heron or stork. / [[Walking toward table]]
/ Faye: Eric Clapton? Obviously a sloth. They didn't nickname him "Slow Hand" for nothing.
/ Marten: Whereas Keith Richards is clearly a scarecrow made out of beef jerky.
/ Miss Reed: The singer of Aerosmith hit on me at a party once. It was like being chatted up by a grouper with a bad haircut and a coke habit. / [[Seated at table, this time Martin beside Faye, across from Miss Reed. Pale green tablecloths, placemats to match the walls]]
/ Faye: We'll ignore the obvious jokes about Lou Reed being a pompous ass.
/ Marten: Jesus Faye, that line was worse than your gas.
/ Miss Reed: It's very strange to see you so at ease with an attractive girl, Marty. You were always so bashful around them in high school! / Marten: I was 'bashful' because the 'attractive girls' were your burlesque-show friends who you always brought home from the club.
/ Faye: What's so wrong about that? Most boys would kill to have ladies of that sort flirting with them.
/ Marten: Half of them were actually dudes!
/ Miss Reed: Actually more like 2/3. They were very convincing drag-queens. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=457 |
| Questionable Content Number 458: Time To Come Clean | {{Title: Number 458: Time To Come Clean}} / [[Faye, Marten, and Miss Reed eating animal muscles and beer]]
/ Marten: How's your burger, mom?
/ Miss Reed: Delicious! How is yours, Faye?
/ Faye: [[chewing]] You cannot go wrong with bacon and onion rings and barbecue sauce on top of a medium-rare hamburger. It's basically the ultimate food. / [[Closeup on Faye, with Miss Reed in background]]
/ Miss Reed: So what do you do for fun, Faye?
/ Faye: [[looking away]] Oh, I'm sorta between hobbies right now. I used to sculpt a lot in college, but had to give that up when I moved up north. / [[POV turn and widen to include Marten between Miss Reed and Faye]]
/ Miss Reed: Oh? And when did you move up here? Was this a recent thing?
/ Faye: Just a few months ago, once I got over the whole nervous-breakdown-hospital thing. / [[same]]
/ Marten: Whoa, I didn't know you had a nervous breakdown.
/ Faye: Yeah, I figured now would be a good time to get all the shameful revelations out of the way. I have also murdered twelve nuns and set a petting zoo on fire.
/ Miss Reed: Wow, twelve nuns? Hang on to this one, Marty, she's a keeper. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=458 |
| Number 458: Time To Come Clean | Marten: How'd your burger, mom?
/ Veronica: Delicious! How is yours, Faye?
/ Faye: You cannot go wrong with bacon and onion rings and barbeque sauce on top of a medium-rare hamburger. It's basically the ultimate food. / Veronica: So what do you do for fun, Faye?
/ Faye: Oh, I'm sorta between hobbies right now. I used to sculpt a lot in college, but I had to give that up when I moved up north. / Veronica: Oh? And when did you move up here? Was this a recent thing?
/ Faye: Just a few months ago, once I got over the whole nervous-breakdown-hospital thing. / Marten: Whoa, I didn't know you had a nervous breakdown.
/ Faye: Yeah, I figured now would be a good time to get all the shameful relevations out of the way. I have also murdered twelve nuns and set a petting zoo on fire.
/ Veronica: Wow, twelve nuns? Hang on to this one Marty, she's a keeper. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=458# |
| Questionable Content Number 459: All Cards On The Table Please | {{Title: Number 459: All Cards On The Table Please}} / [[Marten, Faye, and Miss Reed in restaurant with empty plates and half-full glasses of beer]]
/ Marten: [[standing]] Be right back, I wanna use the restroom.
/ Faye: Can't you wait five minutes? This is like leaving a helpless bunny in a cage with a wolf! / [[Miss Reed in foreground looking at Faye]]
/ Miss Reed: Look, Faye, you can relax. If I was going to voice any negative opinion of you I'd have done so already.
/ Faye: [[looking away in guilt]] I know, it's just...I gotta admit, you itimidate the hell out of me. I mean, I've been pretty hard on your son since we met each other, and I'm sure that can't reflect well on your opinion of me. / [[POV turn to side]]
/ Miss Reed: Sweetie, my son is a grown man and can make his own decisions. Marty likes you a lot, that's plain to see. I don't know to what extent his feelings are reciprocated, and it's none of my business anyway- it seems like you have some issues that are complicating matters. And that's fine! Do what you need to do- all I'm hoping is that you'll do the right thing, whatever that may turn out to be.
/ Faye: [[looking a little more hopeful]] I'm...I'm trying, Ms. Reed. It's hard to know WHAT the right thing is, but I'm doing the best I can.
/ Miss Reed: That's all I needed to hear, honey. You're a nice girl at heart, I think everyting will turn out for the best in the end. / [[Close up on Faye and Miss Reed]]
/ Miss Reed: [[pointing finger]] That being said, if you hurt my boy i will introduce you to a whole new realm of pain and suffering. We're talkin' stuff that would make Heironyymous Bosch shit his britches, capisce?
/ Faye: [[tiny voice]] Understood. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=459 |
| Number 459: All Cards On The Table Please | Marten: Be right back, I wanna use the restroom.
/ Faye: Can't you wait five minutes? This is like leaving a helpless bunny in a cage with a wolf! / Ms. Reed: Look, Faye, you can relax. If I was going to voice any negative opinion of you I'd have done so already.
/ Faye: I know, it's just...I gotta admit, you intimidate the hell out of me. I mean, I've been pretty hard on your son since we met each other, and I'm sure that can't reflect well on your opinion of me. / Ms. Reed: Sweetie, my son is a grown man and can make his own decisions. Marty likes you a lot, that's plain to see. I don't know to what extent his feelings are reciprocated, and it's none of my business anyway- it seems like you have some issues that are complicating matters. And that's fine! Do what you need to do- all I'm hoping is that you'll do the right thing, whatever that may turn out to be.
/ Faye: I'm...I'm trying, Ms. Reed. It's hard to know WHAT the right thing is, but I'm doing the best I can.
/ Ms. Reed: That's all I needed to hear, honey. You're a nice girl at heart, I think everything will turn out for the best in the end. / Ms. Reed: That being said, if you hurt my boy I will introduce you to a whole new realm of pain and suffering. We're talkin' stuff that would make Heironymous Bosch shit his brithces, capisce?
/ Faye: Understood. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=459# |
| Questionable Content Number 460: Look For It At Barnes And Noble | {{Title: Number 460: Look For It At Barnes And Noble}} / [[Marten returns to table where Faye is seated. Miss Reed is out of frame.]]
/ Marten: Aaand I'm back. Did I miss anything interesting while I was in the can?
/ Faye: No, just the waiter and the check. / [[Miss Reed, Marten, and Faye leaving restaurant]]
/ Marten: Aw mom, I was gonna pay for dinner. You didn't have to get it.
/ Miss Reed: Nonsense. I'm you mother and I'll not have you paying for my meals. / [[Outside, closeup on Marten and Miss Reed]]
/ Miss Reed: Anyway, I'm afraid I'll have to leave you once we get back to your apartment. I'm having drinks with two very important publishers this evening. They may consider printing my memoirs if all goes well.
/ Marten: Hey, that's awesome! I know how long you spent working on that manuscript- it's cool to see it finally getting the attention of people who have some influence. / [[Miss Reed, Marten, and Faye walking by buildings]]
/ Miss Reed: Well, only one of them is actually influential. The other is young and cute, though. We'll see which proves more tempting to me, big royalty check or booty calls.
/ Marten: Okay, I am an open-minded dude, but hearing your own mom use the phrase "booty call" in reference to her plans for the evening is just fuckin' weird.
/ Faye: Poor Marty- you might be the only Reed not getting laid tonight!
/ Miss Reed: Depends whether his grand-dad remembered to refill his Viagra prescription or not. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=460 |
| Questionable Content Number 461: Wow, She Must Really Be Stressed | {{Title: Number 461: Wow, She Must Really Be Stressed}} / Miss Reed: All right guys, I've got to run.
/ Marten: Okay mom, it was great having you stop by. Don't get in too much trouble tonight.
/ Faye: It was nice meeting you Ms. Reed. / Panel 2: / Miss Reed: It was nice meeting you too, Faye. Now you be good to my son. Bosch paintings, remember?
/ Faye: Yes ma'am.
/ Miss Reed: Good girl. And you can call me Veronica from now on, honey. We'll keep in touch, I'm sure.
/ Faye: Yes ma'am again! / Panel 3: / Miss Reed: It was lovely seeing you, Marty. You take care of yourself and Faye, okay? I love you honey.
/ Marten: I will. Love you too, mom. / Panel 4: / Marten: I think today went pretty well. Mom seemed to like you.
/ Faye: Sheesh are you kidding? Today was like the test of the mom jabbar.
/ Marten: That was simultaneously one of the best Dune references and worst puns I have ever heard. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=461 |
| Number 416: Wow, she really must be stressed | [[Marten, Faye, and Marten's mom are in the apartment]]
/ Marten's mom: All right guys, i've got to run.
/ Marten: Okay mom, it was great having you stop by. Don't get in too much trouble tonight.
/ Faye: It was nice meeting you Ms. Reed. / Marten's mom: It was nice meeting you too, Faye. Now you be good to my son. Bosch paintings, remember?
/ Faye: [[Standing at attention]]Yes ma'am
/ Marten's mom: Good girl. And you can call me Veronica from now on, honey. We'll keep in touch, I'm sure.
/ Faye: Yes Ma'am again! / [[Marten and his mom hug by the door]]
/ Marten's mom: It was lovely seeing you, Marty. Take care of yourself and Faye, okay? I love you honey.
/ Marten: I will. Love you too, mom / Marten: I think today went pretty well. Mom seemed to like you.
/ Faye: [[More relaxed now]] Seesh, are you kidding? Today was like the test of the mom jabbar.
/ Marten: That was simultaneously one of the best Dune references and worst puns I have ever heard. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=461# |
| TITLE: 462: The Best Defense | TITLE BAR: Number 462: The Best Defense / PANEL 1: / [[Marten and Faye's Apartment]] / Marten: So did my mom really freak you out that much? / Faye: Jesus YES. She's a nice lady but omigod is she ever intimidating. / PANEL 2: / Faye: So...are you going to ask me about my nervous breakdown? / Marten: That depends. Do you wanna talk about it? / Faye: To be honest, not really. It makes me very uncomfortable. / PANEL 3: / Marten: Well, that's okay. If you ever do feel like talking about it, I'd be happy to hear the story. / Faye: Thank you, Marten. I'm sure someday I will, but I'm not in the right headspace yet. I really appreciate how patient you are with me. / PANEL 4: / Marten: At this point it's either continue to be patient or kill you and dump your body in a ditch, and I wouldn't last five minutes in prison. / Faye: You could plead not guilty by reason of insanity on my part. "The bitch was CRAZY, your Honor!" The judge will let you off the hook and then invite you out for a beer so he can complain to you about his ex-wife and rebellious daughter. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=462 |
| The Best Defense | {{Title text: The Best Defense}} / Marten: So did my mom really freak you out that much?
/ Faye: Jesus yes. She's a nice lady but omigod is she ever intimidating. / Faye: So...are you going to ask me about my nervous breakdown?
/ Marten: That depends. Do you wanna talk about it?
/ Faye: To be honest, not really. It makes me very uncomfortable. / Marten: Well, that's okay. If you ever do feel like talking about it, I'd be happy to hear the story.
/ Faye: Thank you, Marten. I'm sure someday I will, but I'm not in the right headspace yet. I really appreciate how patient you are with me. / Marten: At this point it's either continue to be patient or kill you and dump your body in a ditch, and I wouldn't last five minutes in prison.
/ Faye: You could plead not guilty by reason of insanity on my part. "The bitch was crazy, your Honor!" The judge will let you off the hook and then invite you out for a beer so he can complain to you about his ex-wife and rebellious daughter. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=462# |
| Number 463: It's His Schtick | PANEL 1: / Pintsize: I return victorious at even Planck-length scale!
/ Marten: You return half an hour late. / PANEL 2: / Pintsize: Untrue! I simply traveled so fast that I APPEAR late because of relativistic effects.
/ Marten: I'm pretty sure that's not how relativity works. And don't even think about invoking the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. I'm not falling for that one again. / PANEL 3: / Faye: I have no idea what either of you are talking about.
/ Marten: To be honest, I'm not sure either. But every time Pintsize goes to a party he comes home late reeking of WD-40 and slurring together quantum physics technology. I think it's the AnthroPC equivalent of getting stoned and listening to Radiohead.
/ Pintsize: Thom Yorke has an AnthroPC. It only listens to French pop and Rush. They hate each other. / PANEL 4: / Faye: Wow, I think I just hit the point where nothing he does will ever surprise me again. Being that jaded feels very strange.
/ Marten: Don't say that, he regards it as a challenge. He'll probably pop out of the closet tomorrow, screaming Pavement lyrics and whacking himself in the head with an electric toothbrush.
/ Pintsize: Shit, they're onto me! I'd better switch to Archers of Loaf lyrics and an egg beater. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=463 |
| Number 463: It's His Schtick | [[Marten and Faye's Apartment]]
/ Pintsize: I return victorious at even Planck-length scale!
/ Marten: You return half an hour late. / Pintsize: Untrue! I simply travelled so fast that I APPEAR late because of the relatavistic effects.
/ Marten: I'm pretty sure that's not how relativity works. And don't even think about invoking the Heisenber Uncertainty Principle. I'm not falling for that one again. / Faye: I have no idea what either of you are talking about.
/ Marten: To be honest, I'm not sure either. But every time Pintsize goes to a party he comes home late reeking of WD-40 and slurring together quantum physics terminology. I think it's the AnthroPC equivalent of getting stoned and listening to Radiohead.
/ Pintsize: Thom Yorke has an AnthroPC. It only listens to French pop and Rush. They hate each other. / Faye: Wow, I think I just hit the point where nothin he does will ever surprise me again. Being that jaded feels strange.
/ Marten: Don't say that, he regards it as a challenge. He'll probably pop out of the closet tomorrow screaming Pavement lyrics and whacking himself in the head with an electric toothbrush.
/ Pintsize: Shit, they're onto me! I'd better switch to Archers of Loaf lyrics and an egg beater. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=463# |
| Number 464: WTF? | Faye: [[wakes up]] / Faye: [[wanders into bathroom, where she discovers Pintsize's arms]] / Faye: [[wanders into living room, where she discovers Pintsize's legs]] / Faye: Why are you...
/ Marten: Using his torso as a cereal bowl? The little fucker flushed the toiled when I was in the shower earlier.
/ Pintsize: Noooooo! I'm lactose intolerant! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=464 |
| Number 464: WFT? | [[Faye's room, she's waking up]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=464# |
| Number 465: Lego With An Attitude | [[In their new apartment]]
/ Faye: So what are you going to do now that you have the week off from work?
/ Marten: Well I was talking to my mom about it and I think I'm going to start a weblog where I talk about music and bands and stuff. / Faye: Hmm. That's better than smoking weed and playing Katamari the whole time, but only marginally.
/ Marten: I had considered that, but I don't smoke and I could never get the hang of that damn charge and roll move. / Faye: What's the site address going to be?
/ Marten: "Yelling about music dot blogspot dot com." I had Pintsize register the account for me last night.
/ Pintsize: [[disasembled, only his head]] That's right, I did. Now may I please have my body back? / Faye: How do you put him back together, anyway? I couldn't figure out how his joints work.
/ Marten: It's all contained-field magnetics. You can pretty much put him together however you want, see? [[Pintsize's head is where this left arm should be]]
/ Pintsize: If I had a tongue I would stick it out and it would be a middle finger to the both of you. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=465 |
| Lego With An Attitude | Faye: So what are you going to do now that you have the week off from work?
/ Marten: Well I Was talking to my mom about it and I think I'm going to start a weblog where I talk about music and bands and stuff. / Faye: Hmm. That's better than smoking weed and playing Katamari the whole time, but only marginally.
/ Marten: I had considered that, but I don't smoke and I could never get the hang of that damn charge and roll move. / Faye: What's the site address going to be?
/ Marten: "Yelling about music dot blogspot dot com." I had Pintsize register the account for me last night.
/ Pintsize: That's right, I did. Now may I please have my body back? / Faye: How do you put him back together, anyway? I couldn't figure out how his joints work.
/ Marten: It's all contained-field magnetics. You can pretty much put him together however you want, see?
/ Pintsize: If I had a tongue I would stick it out and it would be a middle finger to the both of you. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=465# |
| Number 466: Mind Control | {{title text - Number 466: Mind Control}} / Faye: All right, it's off to work I go. Good luck bloggin', Captain Blogzorz of the Blogosphere!
/ Marten: Yeah yeah. I'll see you later, Faye. / Pintsize: This is demeaning.
/ Marten: You're a COMPUTER. Now do you want to work in Dictation Mode or should I hook you up to the monitor in the bedroom?
/ Pintsize: Ugh, Dictation Mode please. That monitor's DVI cable is hell of itchy. / < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=466 |
| Number 467: Listed as Threatened | Faye: Whoa, when did we get this plant?
/ Dora: Picked it up a couple of minutes ago. Isn't he cute? I think I'll name him Melvin, after the Melvins. / Faye: It's nice looking, just don't ask me to take care of it. I'd say I had a brown thumb instead of a green one, were it not for the scatological implications.
/ Dora: I dunno, in that case your digits would make for some good fertilizer. But enough botany, how did last night go? You still have all your limbs so it couldn't have been that bad. / Faye: No, dinner went better than I was expecting. Ms. Reed only threatened my wholesale slaughter if I "hurt her boy".
/ Dora: Psh. She wouldn't get a chance, I'd get to you first / Faye: Jesus, you'd think he was an endangered species the way you people try to protect him
/ Dora: A genuinely nice boy near you is like a rare species of aardvark near a minefield
/ Raven: Help! My hair gel is stuck to the terra cotta! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=467 |
| Number 467: Listed As Threatened | [[Inside the Coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: Whoa, when did we get this plant?
/ Dora: Picked it up a couple minutes ago. Isn't he cute? I think we'll name him Melvin, after the Melvins. / Faye: It's nice looking, just don't ask me to take care of it. I'd say I had a brown thumb instead of a green one, were it not for the scatological implications.
/ Dora: I dunno, in that case your digits would make for some good fertilizer. But enough botany, how did last night go? You still have all your limbs so it couldn't have been that bad. / Faye: No, dinner went better than I was expecting. Ms. Reed only threatened my wholesale slaughter if I "hurt her boy".
/ Dora: Psh. She wouldn't get a chance. I'd get to you first. / Faye: Jesus. you'd think he was an endangered species the way you people try to protect him.
/ Dora: A genuinely nice boy near you is like a rare species of aardvark near a minefield.
/ Raven: Help! My hair gel is stuck to the terra cotta! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=467# |
| Number 468: She's A Barbarian | PANEL 1
/ Dora: So he's starting a weblog now in his spare time?
/ Faye: Yep. "Yelling about music dot blogspot dot com."
/ Dora: Oh, I've gotta see this. / PANEL 2
/ Faye: Hey, where'd you get that from?
/ Dora: I keep it hidden under the counter, next to the anti-robbery broadsword. Girl's gotta have something to do while she watches the store by herself, you know? / PANEL 3
/ Dora: Aww, this is cute. Marty Reed going all interweb music journalist on us.
/ Faye: Holy crap, there really is a broadsword down here. / PANEL 4
/ Faye: Hold still, Raven. This won't hurt a bit.
/ Dora: No, Faye. We need that to stay sharp in case of burglars. If the pot doesn't dull the edge Raven's noggin certainly will.
/ Raven: What? What's happening? I can't see. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=468 |
| Number 469: Then You Ride A Unicycle | TITLE BAR: Comic Number 469: Then You Ride A Unicycle / PANEL 1 / Raven: Whoa, thanks for getting that pot off my head. How'd you do it without cutting me?
/ Faye: Years of tutelage under the German swordmaster Dietrich Himmelfeuer have granted me impeccable swordsmanship.
/ Dora: Actually she just whacked you as hard as she could with the flat of the blade. / PANEL 2 / Faye: This may be a silly question, but what posessed you to put that thing on your head in the first place?
/ Raven: I dunno, it looked like it would fit. Don't you ever get the urge to put something on your head and wear it like a hat because it'd look funny? / PANEL 3 / (no dialogue) / PANEL 4 / Marten: Hey girls, what's going...uh...on?
/ Raven: Here, put this on your head.
/ Faye: Don't judge us! You wouldn't understand!
/ Dora: Holy shit, there's already an online fetish community for this sort of thing. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=469 |
| Number 469: Then You Ride A Unicycle | [[At Coffee of Doom]]
/ Raven: Whoa, thanks for getting that pot off my head. How'd you do it without cutting me?
/ Faye: Years of tutelage under the German swordmaster Dietrich Himmelfeuer have granted me impeccable swordsmanship.
/ Dora: Actually, she just whacked you as hard as she could with the flat of the blade. / Faye: This may be a silly question, but what posessed you to put that thing on your head in the first place?
/ Raven: I dunno, it looked like it would fit. Don't you ever get the urge to put something on your head and wear it like a hat because it'd look funny? / [[Raven looks on as Faye and Dora ponder this]] / [[Ladies wearing a pie, a coffee pot, and an empty coffee bean bag as hats]]
/ Marten: Hey girls, what's going...uh...on?
/ Raven: Here, put this on your head.
/ Faye: Don't judge us! You wouldn't understand!
/ Dora: Holy shit, there's already an online fetish community for this sort of thing. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=469# |
| Number 470: Possibly Justified | [[Ellen walks into the Coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: Hey kiddo! It's been a while. How're you doing? How's your boy?
/ Ellen: I've been...better, And the boy is no longer my boy. / Faye: What?!
/ Ellen: We're "spending some time apart" right now. / Faye: Oh I'm sorry, honey! Was this your idea or his?
/ Ellen: His. He said I...snf...I was getting too "clingy".
/ Dora: Oh that is such typical guy bullshit. How were you supposedly being "clingy"? / Ellen: I don't know! Maybe it was the whole "picking out china patterns for our wedding" Or the "debating whether a minivan or a station wagon would be better for taking our kids to school". Or the "Steve and Ellen Forever" tattoo I was gonna get. Or the...
/ Dora: Okay Ellen I think we get the idea. Faye, go get the Emergency Ben & Jerry's from the stockroom
/ Faye: LOL
/ Faye: Uh, I might have eaten that already.
/ Dora: But I just put a new pint in there this morning!
/ Faye: I know. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=470 |
| Numer 470: Possibly Justified / Panel 1: / Faye: Hey kiddo! It's been a while. How're you doing? How's your boy? / Ellen: I've been...better, And the boy is no longer my boy. / Panel 2 / Faye: What?! / Ellen: We're "spending some time apart" right now. / Panel 3 / Faye: Oh I'm sorry, honey! Was this your idea or his? / Ellen: His. He said I...snf...I was getting too "clingy". / Dora: Oh that is such typical guy bullshit. How were you supposedly being "clingy"? / Panel 4 / Ellen: I don't know! Maybe it was the whole "picking out china patterns for our wedding" thing. Or the "debating whether a minivan or a station wagon would be better for taking our kids to school". Or the "Steve and Ellen Forever" tattoo I was gonna get. Or the... / Dora: Okay Ellen I think we get the idea. Faye, go get the Emergency Ben & Jerry's from the stockroom. / Faye: Uh, I might have eaten that already. / Dora: But I just put a new pint in there this morning! / Faye: I know. | |
| Number 471: Next On CSI | [[In the Coffee of Doom. Steve has just broken up with Ellen]]
/ Dora: Ellen, sweetie, I'm trying to say this in the gentlest way possible but I think you might have been getting a LITTLE too serious too soon about Steve.
/ Ellen: Buh I cuh-couldn't huh-help it! I was s-so hah-happy with him! / Dora: Here honey, have some tissues. No dripping snot on the upholstery.
/ Ellen: I cuh-came here because I didn't know wh-where else to go. Nat and her buh-boyfriend are all happy together, I didn't want to bum them out with th-this.
/ Faye: I'll make you some hot cocoa. Nothing soothes heartbreak like chocolate. / Faye: Where are you going
/ Marten: To check on Steve and see how he's handling this. Maybe get his side of the story. / Faye: I'll come with you. If Steve is doing okay he won't be doing okay much longer. Raven, do you know what an alibi is?
/ Raven: Is it a kind of seabird?
/ Faye: Close enough. If the police come by later, tell them I was carried off by a giant seabird.
/ Marten: No, Faye. I don't want my 15 minutes of fame to be an interview on America's Most Wanted. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=471 |
| Number 471: Next On CSI | [[At Coffee of Doom]]
/ Dora: Ellen, sweetie, I'm trying to say this in the gentlest way possible but I think you might have been getting a LITTLE too serious too soon about Steve.
/ Ellen: Buh I cuh-couldn't huh-help it! I was s-so hah-happy with him! / Dora: Here honey, have some tissues. No dripping snot on the upholstery.
/ Ellen: I cuh-came here because I didn't know wh-where else to go. Nat and her buh-boyfriend are all happy together, I didn't want to bum them out with th-this.
/ Faye: I'll make you some hot cocoa. Nothing soothes heartbreak like chocolate. / Faye: Where are you going?
/ Marten: To check on Steve and see how he's handling this. Maybe get his side of the story. / Faye: I'll come with you. If Steve is doing okay he won't be doing okay much longer. Raven, do you know what an alibi is?
/ Raven: Is it a kind of seabird?
/ Faye: Close enough. If the police come by later, tell them I was carried off by a giant seabird.
/ Marten: No, Faye. I don't want my 15 minutes of fame to be an interview on America's Most Wanted. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=471# |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | TITLE BAR: Number 472: It's Not Going Well / PANEL 1 / Marten: Steve, you there? It's Marten. / PANEL 2 / Steve: Huh? Hey. Waddyawant.
/ Marten: Whoa dude, you look rough.
/ Steve: Prob'ly, yeah. Sup?
/ Marten: Uh...can I come in?
/ Steve: Meh, sure. / PANEL 3 / Steve: But be on yer guard!
/ Marten: What? Why?
/ Steve: There's tequila monsters afoot in here. / PANEL 4 / Marten: Tequila monsters.
/ Steve: 'Zactly. You can only kill 'em with a broken vodka bottle. Here, you take the good 'un, I'm gonna use this plastic motherfucker. I got SKILLS with the plastic motherfucker. SKILLS.
/ Marten: I should probably stage an intervention or send you to detox or something, but your descent into the booze-madness is honestly pretty entertaining. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=472 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Steve, you there? It's Marten.
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=472# |
| Number 473: Living a Modest Mouse Song | PANEL 1
/ Marten: So Ellen comes into the coffee shop all cryin', saying you broke up with her. What's the deal, man? What's going on?
/ Steve: Aw man, she was tryin'a... tryin'a tie my ass down, y'know? Can't get tied down. Can't. S'a slow death, that way. Slow death. / PANEL 2
/ Marten: Look, it sounds like she might've been getting a little carried away, but don't you think dumping her was a bit... extreme?
/ Steve: Izzat wha happened? I barely 'member. Tryin'a drink it away, y'know? / PANEL 3
/ Marten: Dude I am trying to be your friend here but from what I can tell you've made a class-a dumbass of yourself.
/ Steve: I know! I jus' panicked! She's all "so when we're married blah blah" and I'm all "wuh teh eff no way marriage bad" and next thing I know we're breakin' up and she's all runnin' out and slammin' the door on me. / PANEL 4
/ Marten: So then you go on a bender and spend days wallowing in your own misery? What is this, the second act of some shitty romantic comedy?
/ Steve: Ex-ZACLY. This's the low point, k'now? Next I gotta sober up an' win her back by skydivin' naked into a Superbowl halftime show or somethin'.
/ Marten: Right, because nothing woos the ladies like landing junk-first on the head of a linebacker and then getting arrested. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=473 |
| Number 473: Living A Modest Mouse Song | [[Steve is sitting on his couch, a mess, with beer cans all over the place]]
/ Marten: So Ellen comes into the coffee shop all cryin', saying you broke up with her. What's tthe deal, man? What's going on?
/ Steve: Aw man, she was tryin'a.. tryin'a tie my ass down, y'know? Can't get tied down. Can't. S'a slow death, that way. Slow death. / Marten: Look, it sounds like she might've been getting a little carried away, but don't you think dumping her was a bit...extreme?
/ Steve: Izzat wha happened? I barely 'member. Tryin'a drink it away, y'know? / Marten: Dude I am trying to be your friend here but from what I can tell you've made a class-a dumbass of yourself.
/ Steve: I know! I jus' panicked! She's all "so when we're married blah blah" and I'm all "wut teh eff no way marriage bad" and next thing I know we're breakin' up and she's all runnin' out and slammin' the door on me. / Marten: So then you go on a bender and spend days wallowing in your own misery? What is this, the second act of some shitty romantic comedy?
/ Steve: Ex-ZACLY. This's the low point, k'now? Next I gotta sober up an' win her back by skydivin' naked into a superbowl halftime show or somethin'.
/ Marten: Right, because nothing woos the ladies like landing junk-first on the head of a linebacker and then getting arrested. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=473# |
| Number 474: A Bad Influence | PANEL 1
/ Marten: So you "accidentally" broke up with her and now you wanna win her back?
/ Steve: Yeah, 'ventually. Needa buy more booze first. 'S my last bottle. / PANEL 2
/ Marten: Ugh. Dude I think you need to deal with this like an adult, you know? Sober up and explain what happened and HOPE that she hasn't changed her mind about you. Which would be well within her rights, considering how you're handling this whole situation.
/ Steve: Psh. Lookee here everyone, I'm getting judgmentated from a dude who don't even got the stones to make a move on the chick HE likes. / PANEL 3
/ Marten: Oh, so that's how it is? Okay then, see you later buddy. I'll expect an apology for your assholery once you sober up. If you don't choke on your own vomit first, that is.
/ Steve: Yeah well I'll 'spect an apology fer' you havin' a VAGINA, ya PUSSY. / PANEL 4
/ Tequila Monster: Man, that guy is totally lame.
/ Steve: See, you may be a hallucination, but yer the only one 'round here talkin' any sense.
/ Tequila Monster: You should drink more. I'm starting to feel a little discorporeal. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=474 |
| Questionable Content: Number 474: A Bad Influence | {{Number 474: A Bad Influence}} / [[Inside Steve's apartment. Marten leans on the doorframe, Steve crouches in the fridge, staring drunkenly at a bottle of beer.]] / Marten: So you "accidentally" broke up with her and now you wanna win her back?
/ Steve: Yeah, 'ventually. Needa buy more booze first. 'S my last bottle. / Marten: Ugh. Dude I think you need to deal with this like an adult, you know? Sober up and explain what happened and HOPE that she hasn't changed her mind about you. Which would be well within her rights, considering how you're handling this whole situation.
/ Steve: Psh. Lookee here everyone, I'm getting judgementated from a dude who don't even got the stones to make a move on the chick HE likes. / [[Marten, leaving]]
/ Marten: Oh, so that's how it is? Okay then, see you later buddy. I'll expect an apology for your assholery once you sober up. If you don't choke on your own vomit first, that is.
/ Steve: Yeah well I 'spect an apology fer you havin' a VAGINA, ya pussy. / [[Tequila Monster (a purple spotty weasel in a sombrero) stands in the doorway]]
/ Tequila Monster: Man that guy is totally lame.
/ Steve: See, you may be a hallucination but yer the only one 'round here talkin' any sense.
/ Tequila Monster: You should drink more, I'm starting to feel discorporeal. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=474# |
| 475: Number Umpteen Thousand: A Chilling View of the Future | {{Title: Number Umpteen Thousand: A Chilling View of the Future}}
/ {{Guest strip by Jamie from No 4th Wall to Break, real number 475}} / [[Older looking Faye in slightly indistinct blue apartment]]
/ Faye: Good morning... / [[Faye comes to sofa, where conservative Marten is wearing a business suit]]
/ Faye: ...Dear husband of mine!
/ Marten: Ahh, dearest Faye, you brighten all my mornings. / [[They stand]]
/ Marten: Alas, I cannot stop, for I have a meeting in ten minutes. / [[He looks away]]
/ Faye: Well, can I at least get you a cup of coffee?
/ Marten: Now, come on dear, you know I gave up coffee years ago.
/ Faye: Oh, of course. Silly me! / [[Faye alone, standing]]
/ Faye: Coffee went out with all that silly 'indie' music we would listen to. Ahh, the fallacies of youth. / [[Same]]
/ Faye: That reminds me... Marten! Don't forget to say goodbye to baby! / [[Marten standing by infant's mobile with star, CD, and diskette hanging on it]]
/ Marten: Ahh, how could I forget my favorite little guy? / [[Marten raises index finger as if to tickle]]
/ Marten: Coo-chee coo! / [[Infant Pintsize in baby bead with pacifier]]
/ Pintsize: *gurgle* / [[Dark room. Marten wakes up in bed. Pintsize is on the bed]]
/ Marten: AARGGHHH! / [[Marten looks at pintsize]]
/ Marten: Pintsize! Is...is there a reason you're standing on me and gurgling?
/ Pintsize: Does there need to be? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=475 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Future Faye: Good morning... / Future Faye: ...dear husband of mine!
/ Future Marten: Ahh, dearest Faye. You brighten all my mornings. / Future Marten: Alas, I cannot stop, for I have a meeting in ten minutes. / Future Faye: Well, can I at least get you a cup of coffee?
/ Future Marten: Now come on dear, you know I gave up coffee years ago.
/ Future Faye: Oh, of course. Silly me! / Future Faye: Coffee went out with all that silly "indie" music we would listen to. Ahh, the fallacies of youth! / Future Faye: That reminds me... Marten! Don't forget to say goodbye to baby! / Future Marten: Ahh, how could I forget my favorite little guy? / Future Marten: Coo-chee-coo! / Baby Pintsize: *gurgle* / Present Marten: AARRGGHHH! / Present Marten: Pintsize! Is... is there a reason why you're standing on me and gurgling?
/ Pintsize: Does there need to be? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=475# |
| Number 476: Son Of A Cheese Shop | [[Marten walking away from Steve's house]]
/ Marten: [[thinking]] Argh, I can't believe what a dick Steven is being! / [[turning around]]
/ Marten: ...Buuut I can't just leave and let him drink himself to death. / [[inside Steve's house]]
/ Marten: Hey Steve, I'm sorry I got mad at you. I didn't mean to lecture--
/ Steve: Naw, man, I'M sorry, I was way outta line. Yer a good friend buddy, a ril good friend. Less not be pisst at each other, kay? / / Marten: Okay, no harm done. Now you seriously need to get cleaned up. You smell like the bastard offspring of a distillery and a paper mill.
/ Steve: Yeah I could prob'ly use a shower.
/ Marten: Actually I was just gonna walk you over to the car wash and put you in neutral.
/ Steve: Nah man, I tried that yesterday an' they kicked me out. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=476 |
| Number 477: She's My Pride And Joy | [[in Steve's house]]
/ Marten: So do you really think I'm a pussy for not making a move on Faye sooner?
/ Steve: I dunno, man. / Steve: I mean, the part of me thass all "woo titties" is like " yeah man yer a total vagina-twat", y'know?
/ Marten: Right. / [[Steve in the bathroom]]
/ Steve: But then, thass the same parta me always wants instant graffication. An' I guess yer not listenin' to that part. Takin' ye time with things 'steada rushin' into it. Which I guess's what got me freaked out with Ellen anyway, right? Her rushin' in. Mebbe's better to take yer time. Make sure everythin's gonna be okay. Shit, I dunno enny better than you. / [[Steve pokes his head out]]
/ Steve: Heheh, I'm totally nekkid in here an' you're talkin' to me.
/ Marten: I'm only here to make sure you don't pass out and crack your skull in the tub. Now shut the damn door before I catch a glimpse of Little Stevie Wonder.
/ Steve: Naw man, that ain't his name. I call 'im Lil' Steve Ray Vaughn. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=477 |
| Number 478: I Get Knocked Down | [[In the Coffee od Doom]]
/ Dora: How's Ellen doing?
/ Faye: I...I don't really know! / Dora: What do you mean you don't know?
/ Faye: Look, you go talk to her. You'll see what I mean. / Dora: Ellen, sweetie, you okay? Do you want to talk things over some more?
/ Ellen: No, I think I'm pretty much over it now.
/ Dora: Honey, it's okay if you're still upset. You don't have to pretend you're not.
/ Ellen: No, really! I'm not pretending, I feel much better. / Dora: Are...are you sure? I mean, you were in hysterics like five minutes ago.
/ Ellen: Will, I figure at this point I can either move on with my life or develop a creepy, obsessive fixation on Steve, and there's no WAY I'd have time to stalk him with my current course load.
/ Faye: Aw, that's no fun. If a boy breaks your heart you have to make him regret it! The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=478 |
| Number 478: I Get Knocked Down | Dora: How's Ellen doing?
/ Faye: I...I don't really know! / Dora: What do you mean you don't know?
/ Faye: Look, you go talk to her. You'll see what I mean. / Dora: Ellen, sweetie, you okay? Do you want to talk things over some more?
/ Ellen: No, I think I'm pretty much over it.
/ Dora: Honey, it's okay if you're still upset. You don't have to pretend you're not.
/ Ellen: No, really! I'm not pretending. I feel much better. / Dora: Are...are you sure? I mean, you were in hysterics like five minutes ago.
/ Ellen: Well, I figure at this point I can either move on with my life or develop a creepy, obsessive fixation on Steve, and there's no WAY I'd have time to stalk him with my current course load.
/ Faye: Aw, that's no fun. If a boy breaks your heart you have to make him regret it! The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=478# |
| Number 479: BitTorrents Are Forever | [[In the Coffee of Doom. Faye is on Dora's laptop. Chalkboard read: Today's Specials: Coffeetea, Chiacoffee, Noogies!]]
/ Faye: Ooh, the next Explosions in the Sky record has leaked! I should download this for Marten, it'd make him happy. May I?
/ Dora: Huh? Yeah, sure. / Dora: Who do you think leaks these bands' albums before they're officially released, anyway? People at the record company? The bands themselves?
/ Faye: Machine elves travel into the near future with iPods, buy the records and then travel back to the present to leak them online. / [[Dora draws "skela-bunny" on the chalkboard]] {{Evidently, Dora is loeft-handed}}
/ Dora: Ah, I see. Marty McFly wasn't trying to save the world so much as improve his BitTorrent ratio.
/ Faye: If you're in a DeLorean traveling faster than the speed of light and the Killers are playing on the stereo, do they still suck? / Raven: Hey, I like the Killers!
/ Faye: Ssh, don't say that aloud! They might hear you and make another terrible album!
/ Dora: One day all these cookie-cutter New-Wave ripoff bands are going to combine Voltron-style into a giant Mecha Ian Curtis and destroy downtown London. NME will give their rampage a 9 our of 10. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=479 |
| Number 479: BitTorrents Are Forever | [[At Coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: Ooh, the next Explosions in the Sky record has leaked! I should download this for Marten, it'd make him happy. May I?
/ Dora: Huh? Yeah, sure. / Dora: Who do you think leaks these bands' albums before they're officially released, anyway? People at the record company? The bands themselves?
/ Faye: Machine elves travel into the near future with iPods, buy the records and them travel back to the present to leak them online. / Dora: Ah, I see. Marty McFly wasn't trying to save the world so much as improve his BitTorrent ratio.
/ Faye: If you're in a DeLorean travelling faster than the speed of light and the Killers are playing on the stereo, do they still suck? / Raven: Hey, I like the Killers!
/ Faye: Ssh, don't say that aloud! They might hear you and make another terrible album!
/ Dora: One day all these cookie-cutter New-Wave ripoff bands are going to combine Voltron-style into a giant Mecha Ian Curtis and destroy downtown London. NME will give their rampage 9 out of 10. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=479# |
| Number 480: Smif Girls Are Hot | [[Marten walks into the coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: There you are. What took you so long? How's Captain Assyface?
/ Marten: You mean Steve? He's sleeping off the effects of what I'm pretty sure was enough alcohol to pickle a sperm whale. / Faye: Well, I hope he wakes up with a giant squid attacking his face, or an equivalent hangover.
/ Marten: Hey Ellen, how are you doing?
/ Ellen: Oh, much better. Is Steve okay?
/ [[Ellen's top read: SMIF COLLEGE]] / Marten: Uh, yeah. He was pretty upset about what happened, and it's probably not my place to get involved, but I think you two should--
/ Ellen: Oh, I was upset too. But the more I think about it the more certain I am that it's all for the best. / Ellen: So, Marty...Now that I'm on the market again...
/ Marten: Uh...yes?
/ Ellen: Do you have any other cute guy friends you could introduce me to?
/ Dora: Heh, she has no idea how close to death she just came.
/ [[Faye, two inches from the back of Ellen's neck]]
/ Faye: I. DON'T. KNOW. WHAT. YOU'RE. TALKING ABOUT. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=480 |
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