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| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Tai: You're certainly in a cheerful mood today. What gives?
/ Marten: Tonight's the first time I get to try out my new guitar at band practice. I'm super-psyched. / Tai: Sweet. I just got a cracked copy of the newest Abieton Live off the school network, so I'm gonna spend the night sequencing beats.
/ Marten: Oh, cool. I didn't know you wrote music. / Tai: I just got started. I don't really know what I'm doing, but I can at least make things go thoomp-thoomp-thoomp-thoomp with weird noises over top.
/ Marten: Haha. Have you decided on a DJ name yet?
/ Tai: Yeah, "Tai Fighter." I even made a logo!
/ Marten: Hahah! Nice! / Tai: So what would YOUR DJ name be?
/ Marten: I'd be DJ Awkwardd Beatz. Instead of hi-hat my tracks would feature stammered apologies. People would come to my shows to dance awkwardly while looking at their feet. The mood-altering substance of choice would be anti-anxiety medication.
/ Tai: You could pioneer a whole new subgenre of mopey stress-core! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1022 |
| Number 1023: Part Of This Balanced... Something | [[Winslow, Pintsize and Hannelore are on the couch in Marten and Faye's apartment. Hannelore is getting up to leave]]
/ Winslow: Hey, where are you going? Stay and watch TV with us!
/ Hannelore: B-but you just tried to convict me of harlotry!
/ Pintsize: Water under the bridge. Don't live in the past, Hanners. / [[The TV shows an image of canned Wikipedios]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1023 |
| Number 1024: Feeding The Rule 34 Beast | Tai: Hey Marten, can you help me out with this survey I have to do for my modern sexuality class? It's totally anonymous.
/ Marten: Okay.
/ Tai: Great. First question: Have you ever been sexually attracted to someone of your gender?
/ Marten: Not really. I mean, I could see it happening, but it just seems sort of...awkward. / Tai: Awkward? How so?
/ Marten: I dunno. I feel like if I ever had sex with a dude, the urge to high-five him in the middle of it would be overwhelming.
/ Tai: What? / Marten: You know, like "YEAH! WE'RE TOTALLY DOIN' IT! HIGH FIVE!"
/ Marten: Or like, when we're done, do that "jump in the air and bump chests" thing football players do after a big play.
/ Marten: A baseball-style butt-pat would be kinda redundant though. / Tai: Tell me, when you're having sex with Dora, do you get the urge to start singing soccer anthems?
/ Marten: No, sleeping with Dora is more like being in a post-match riot. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1024 |
| Number 1025: Ugh, That Pink Shirt | {{title text: Number 1025: Ugh, That Pink Shirt}} / [[Meena/Dave's Apartment; Steve, wearing a black shirt with white text "Boris" t-shirt, sits at the kitchen table. Dave, wearing a pink polo and khaki pants walking in.]]
/ Dave: Mornin' Steve.
/ Steve: Mornin' Dave.
/ Dave: Didja sleep well last night?
/ Steve: Oh, uh yeah. You? / [[Dave at fridge. Steve, at table, looking scared.]]
/ Dave: Haha, not really. You and Meena kept me up pretty late. I could hear you guys all the way down the hall.
/ Steve: Y-you could? What exactly did you, uh, hear? / [[Dave leaning against counter with glass of milk. Steve at table still, with mug. A red robot calendar hangs on the fridge.]]
/ Dave: The Laughing! You really crack Meena up, y'know?
/ Steve: Oh, uh, sorry about that. I'll try to be less witty after bedtime from now on.
/ Dave: Nah, it's cool. I'm glad you guys get along so well. After what happened between us, she deserves to be happy. / [[Dave, eyes open, looking skeptical. Steve, surprised.]]
/ Steve: What exactly DID happen between you two?
/ Dave: Oh, she hasn't told you? I'd really rather not say, then. She should really be the one to tell the story.
/ Steve: Oh c'mon dude, you can't leave me hangin' like that.
/ Dave: I'm sorry, I just don't feel comfortable. It's not my place. / [[Steve slightly exasperated. Dave calm and composed.]]
/ Steve: C'mon, gimme a HINT or something. Scale of one to ten- one being a big fight, ten being unplanned pregnancy.
/ Dave: Where would an STD fall on the scale?
/ Steve: What?! Oh shit, do I have to go get tested for something now?
/ Dave: No, no, I was just wondering. I mean, I'd rather get someone pregnant than get syphilis. I like babies! Open sores, not so much. / {{title text: Copyright 2003-2007 J. Jacques}} http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1025 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Meena: Hey cutie. You''re up early.
/ Steve: Yeah, I just, uh, woke up.
/ Meena: Something wrong?
/ Steve: Why did you and Dave break up? According to him there's some kinda story behind it. / Meena: What? What did Dave tell you?
/ Steve: Not much. Just said he didn't "feel comfortable" telling me what happened, and that "you should be the one to tell the story." / Meena: Goddamnit. Do I have to tell you now?
/ Steve: No, but to be honest I'll probably worry about it until you do.
/ Meena: All right, all right. I'll tell you after you finish your cereal.
/ Steve: Why after? / Meena: Because if I tell you while you're still eating, I'm liable to get a faceful of milk and cheerios.
/ Steve: Like a spit-take?
/ Meena: No, like you throwing a bowl of cereal in my face.
/ Steve: I'd never do that! Domestic violence is wrong! And I really like Cheerios! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1026 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Meena and Steve sitting at Meena's kitchen table]] / Steve: So what happened with you and Dave?
/ Meena: I cheated on him. I was out with some friends one night, got really drunk, and ended up going home with some random guy I met at a bar.
/ Steve: Oh. I...I can see how that might lead to a breakup. / Meena: I know, right? That was the worst part! Dave forgave me! I'm the one who ended the relationship.
/ Steve: Wait, you cheated on him after, what, a four year relationship? And he wasn't MAD?
/ Meena: That's the thing. Dave NEVER gets mad. Nothing GETS to him! He's like the ultimate Zen fucking master. He was all "I'm very hurt by this, but everyone makes mistakes." Then he smiled that stupid beatific smile of his and gave me a hug. / Meena, continuing: Shit, that's half the reason I cheated on him in the first place! Do you have any idea what it's like to date someone so PERFECT all the time? He doesn't get mad. He rarely makes mistakes, and when he does he immediately acknowledges them and does his best to fix it. He remembers every birthday, every anniversary. For fuck's sake, he's studying to be a DOCTOR because "he wants to help children." / Steve: Holy shit. He's a serial killer. He has to be. NOBODY's that perfect.
/ Meena: I used to worry that too. He'd just get up and leave the house for a couple hours sometimes. One time I followed him. He was going to CHURCH. He didn't tell me because he "didn't want to force his spiritual beliefs on me."
/ Steve: Next you'll be telling me that he donates all his money to charities and spends twenty hours a week feeding the homeless.
/ Meena: Only fifteen. He has to sleep sometimes. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1027 |
| Number 1028: Minor League Play | [[Steve doing the dishes]]
/ Steve: So...you cheated on Dave because he was too perfect?
/ Meena: No! Yes. I don't know It just...it just happened. I was frustrated.
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1028 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Steve and Meena, sitting at Meena's kitchen table]]
/ Meena: I'm sorry, I didn't- I didn't mean you weren't as GOOD as Dave. I just meant...I feel comfortable with you. Like I can just be myself instead of trying to be Little Miss Perfect, you know?
/ Steve: Sure, I understand. / [[Steve stands up]]
/ Steve: Listen, I gotta get to work.
/ Meena: Okay, thanks for not throwing your Cheerios at me.
/ Steve: Thanks for being honest with me about the Dave situation. / [[Steve puts on his jacket and is leaving the kitchen, Meena looking around the wall]]
/ Meena: I'll see you tonight then?
/ Steve: Yeah, sure. / [[Steve turns around to find Dave in the living room, looking embarrassed]]
/ Steve: Dave?! I- I thought you went to class!
/ Dave: I left my wallet here.
/ Steve: Did you, uh, overhear all that?
/ Dave: Most of it, yeah. Sorry, I really didn't mean to eavesdrop. / Steve: I don't...I don't really think you're a serial killer.
/ Dave: That's good! I don't think I am either.
/ Steve: You don't think so? / Dave: Well, if I really was crazy I might not know. So I can't rule it out.
/ Steve: Honesty isn't always the best policy, you know.
/ Dave: Sorry. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1029 |
| Number 1030: Delicious, Delicious Baked Goods | [[Steve and Marten walking outdoors]]
/ Steve: ...So yeah. She totally wrecked her last relationship by bangin' around on a guy 'cause he was "too good for her."
/ Marten: And they still live together? Man, that is a weird situation.
/ Steve: Yeah, I dunno whether I should go with it, or just run like hell. / Marten: I dunno, past behaviour doesn't guarantee future action, y'know? It sounds like she's sorry about how evertything went down with Dave. You should give her a chance. I bet everything will work out fine.
/ Steve: Easy for you to say. Everything already worked out fine for you, mister I Have The Perfect Relationship.
/ Marten: Hey, my relationship isn't PERFECT! Dora and I*have problems just like every other couple. / [[They arrive at Coffee of Doom, Dora hands Marten a cookie. Her shirt says "Death"]]
/ Dora: Hey sweetie, I just baked you these cookies. You can take 'em to work and share with Tai.
/ Marten: Wow, you didn't have to... are those little icing drawings of you and me holding hand?
/ Dora: Aren't they cute? / Steve: What was that about you not having the perfect relationship again?
/ Marten: We're...we're not just holding hands in this one.
/ Dora: Oh. Yeah. That was Raven. You probably should't share that one with Tai.
/ Marten: Definitely not. Raven has some rather...grandiose ideas about my man-tackle. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1030 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Dora, Steve, Martin, and Faye inside Coffee of Doom]] / Steve: Alright, I gotta go. See you later guys.
/ Dora: Don't give up on Meena, Steve. Everybody's made a few relationship mistakes in the past.
/ Marten: Yeah, it took me three or four girlfriends to figure out that you're not supposed to slap 'em on the ass in front of their parents. / [[Steve leaves]] / Dora: If you did that in front of my dad, he'd crack up. Then he'd break your arms.
/ Marten: Now if I ever want six weeks' sick leave I know what to do.
/ Faye: Your dad's a hypocrite. He totally pinched me in my chub! / Dora: Yeah, I meant to thank you for not brutalizing him.
/ Faye: It happened too fast for me to react. I get pinched, prepare to do murder, and turn around to see this jovial little Italian man offerin' me a handshake.
/ Marten: How come you haven't introduced me to your folks yet, anyway? / Dora: The last boy I brought home for dinner spent the entire time staring at my mom's boobs.
/ Marten: Oh. Is she, uh, well endowed in that area?
/ Dora: They're...rather spectacular. If you put my head on Heidi Klum's body, you'd be getting close.
/ Faye: Heh. Jovian cans for a jovial man. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1031 |
| Questionable Content: Comic 1032, Don't Lick The Stamps, Either. | Comic 1032: Don't Lick The Stamps, Either.
/ [[Dora and Marten in Coffee of Doom, Marten holding a coffee, Dora leaning on counter]]
/ Dora: Tell you what, we can go over to my folks' place for dinner tonight. They're always happy when I come to visit.
/ Marten: R-really? Oh. Ok. / Dora: Suddenly you sound less thrilled about the prospect of meeting my parents.
/ Marten: It's just a lot of pressure! Should I wear a button-down shirt? Do I need a haircut?
/ Dora: Just don't tell my parents about how you're putting yourself through school by dealing pot and you'll be fine. / [[Panel zooms out, Faye is standing behind counter]]
/ Marten: Oh man. Did a guy you were dating actually do that?
/ Dora: Yeah. That was Jerry. That was... awkward.
/ Faye: Like broken arms awkward? / Dora: No, like "dad buying weed from my boyfriend at the dinner-table" awkward.
/ Marten: Ooh, I can see how that'd be weird.
/ Dora: Yeah. That reminds me, if mom serves brownies for desert, make sure you only eat ONE.
/ Faye: Can I come to your house for thanksgiving this year? http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1032 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten and Tai at the SMIF library]] / Tai: What are you doing to your hair, dude? I've never seen you take a comb to it before.
/ Marten: I'm meeting Dora's parents tonight. I gotta look nice. / Tai: Aww, that's so cute. Where are you guys gonna register for the wedding, Urban Outfitters or the Salvation Army?
/ Marten: Har har. I'm nervous about this! I want them to like me. / Tai: I dunno why they wouldn't. You've got an AWESOME job, after all. Make sure you tell them about how witty, intelligent, and beautiful your boss is.
/ Marten: Not to, uh, contradict you, but why are you so interested in Dora's parents knowing about YOU? / Tai: In case Dora has a hot younger sister I could corrupt.
/ Marten: Sorry, she doesn't.
/ Tai: Well, tell them to get started on one, then! I figure in 18 years or so I'll be ready to settle down into a nice comfy May/October relationship. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1033 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Dora and Marten, entering Dora's parents' house]] / Marten: Sorry about my hair. I tried to comb it.
/ Dora: You look fine, honey. Stop worrying! / Peter Bianchi: Hey kiddo! Come on in, dinner's almost ready. You must be Marten!
/ Marten: Nice to meet you. / [[Marten and Peter shake hands]] / [[Marten grips Peter's wrist. Peter then grabs Marten's thumb]] / Dora: What was that you and dad just did?
/ Marten: I'm not really supposed to tell you, but...that handshake is man-code for "yes, I am sleeping with your daughter." The wrist-grab means "we are using protection." The last part where he grabbed my thumb indicates his tentative approval.
/ Dora: What if he hadn't approved?
/ Marten: I'd have a broken thumb. It's a very unambiguous system. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1034 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Dora: Marten, this is my mom. Mom, this is Marten.
/ Marten: Hi.
/ Mrs. Bianchi: Hallo! Nice to meet you. / Mrs. Bianchi: Black hair and blue eyes? Do you dye your hair like Dora? I never understood that. Such a waste. She is so pretty as a blonde.
/ Dora: Mom, I keep telling you I either have to shave my head or let it grow out if I want blonde hair again. I don't wanna do either.
/ Marten: Heheh. Actually this is my regular hair color. / Mrs. Bianchi: It reminds me of that bondage lady Dora has all the pictures of in her room. What's her name? Vera...Veronica...
/ Dora: Veronica Vance.
/ Mrs. Bianchi: Yes, that's it! She has the same hair and eyes. It's very unusual.
/ Marten: Yeah, it runs in the family. / Mrs. Bianchi: I bet it does! You know Dora gets her hair and looks from me, and her brother Sven- have you met him? He gets his looks from Peter's brother Joseph, we think. Come, sit down, dinner's almost ready.
/ Dora: Wow, she didn't even pick up on it.
/ Marten: That's okay. I should probably save that particular revelation for post-dinner drinks anyway. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1035 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten, Dora, Elssa and Peter sitting at the Bianchis' table]] / Peter: So, Dora tells us you work at a library?
/ Marten: Yeah. It's a pretty good job, for now anyway.
/ Elssa: "For now?" What is it you would really like to do? / Marten: Well ideally I'd like to be a rock star. But I'd settle for being able to do music full-time.
/ Dora: I don't think you have a big enough ego to pull off rock stardom, honey. You're also short several pairs of leather pants. / Peter: Hah! He could always borrow some'a yours.
/ Elssa: Ugh, the leather pants. So disgusting.
/ Marten: Disgusting? / Elssa: Dora would wear the same pair of leather pants in high school every day for days at a time, until I would have to yell at her to change out of them. Let me tell you, the SMELL of those things-
/ [[Dora blushes furiously]]
/ Dora: MOTHER!
/ Elssa: I washed them and washed them but the odor wouldn't come out. Finally I had to take them into the backyard and burn them. The grass in that spot never regrew.
/ Marten: You're never allowed to fuss at me for wearing the same socks two days in a row ever again. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1036 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Fay and Penelope working the counter at Coffee of Doom]]
/ [[Specials: Hurrrrrrr]] / Faye: I wonder how Marty's meet-the-parents dinner is going.
/ Penelope: YOU don't sound too thrilled about it. / Faye: He gets free dinner! And possibly free marijuana!
/ Penelope: Dora's parents sound...interesting. And since when do you smoke weed?
/ Faye: I don't. But it'd be really funny to see what he and Dora are like when they're high. / Penelope: I bet Dora's one of those people who get all horny when they're high. She's probably all over Marten by now.
/ Faye: People get horny when they're high? Everybody I knew just listened to Radiohead and ate cookies. / Penelope: I dunno. I knew a couple girls in college who would get all up on each other any time they smoked. Or got drunk. Or did coke.
/ Faye: I think you're mistaking bisexuality for substance abuse.
/ Penelope: I think THEY were. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1037 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Yelling Bird: JEPH AND CHRISTI HAVE SPENT THE PAST DAY MOVING INTO THEIR NEW PLACE AND JEPH IS LITERALLY TOO TIRED TO MOVE AND/OR SEE STRAIGHT SO HE ASKED ME TO FILL IN FOR HIM / Yelling Bird: WHAT A FUCKIN' PANSY, RIGHT ANYWAY APPARENTLY I AM SUPPOSED TO MAKE SOME JOKES ABOUT "INDIE ROCK" OR BOOBS OR BUTTS OR SOMETHING TO PASS THE TIME / Yelling Bird: MAN I GOT NOTHING EVERY TIME I THINK OF SOMETHING FUNNY TO SAY ABOUT THE COMIC I IMAGINE MYSELF SMOOSHED BETWEEN THAT FAYE CHICK'S HOOTERS / Yelling Bird: GODDAMNIT I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT OUT LOUD NOW SOME OF YOU FREAKS ARE JERKING IT FURIOUSLY TO THE MENTAL IMAGE OF A HIPSTER CHICK MASHING A TINY BIRD BETWEEN HER BREASTS
/ Yelling Bird: PLEASE SEND ANY AND ALL FAN ART DEPICTING THIS SCENE TO: YELLINGBIRD AT QUESTIONABLECONTENT DOT NOT http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1038 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Love is...}} / Marten: A '58 Les Paul plugged into a '68 Marshall stack.
/ Dora: Hey!
/ Marten: ...Metaphorically speaking. / Winslow: An underwear drawer sorted by hex code.
/ [[Hannelore holding a pair of white panties]]
/ Hannelore: These should be an #FFFFFF but they're clearly a #DDDDDD. I should've used more bleach. / Sven: Like a threesome- fun in theory but complicated in practice.
/ Faye: A battlefield, and I hope you get impaled on a pike. / Meena: A complex sequence of neurochemical reactions that makes people behave like idiots.
/ Steve: That sounds more like intoxication.
/ Meena: It's similar, but the hangover's even worse. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1039 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Marten and Peter sitting in the Bianchis' living room]] / Peter: ...So I'm shakin' my ex-boss's hand and tellin' him how great it was to work for him all those years when Dora tugs on my pant-leg and says "daddy, that's not what you said last night! You said he was a bunch of bad words!"
/ Marten: Hahah! Oh man!
/ Peter: Yeah, it's a good thing the self-employment gig worked out. I'da never gotten a good reference from THAT asshole. / [[Elssa and Dora in the kitchen]] / Elssa: Your father certainly seems to like him.
/ Dora: How about you? / Elssa: He's a nice boy, but...living with another girl? Don't you worry that they might get up to no good?
/ Dora: Aaactually, they kinda had a thing for a little while.
/ Elssa: A "thing?" What do you mean a "thing?"
/ Dora: Well Marten like his roommate, Faye, and she liked him too, but due to, uh, circumstances it didn't work out. After that, he started hanging out with me more, and one thing led to another, and now WE'RE together. / Elssa: So, you stole him from this other lady, then.
/ Dora: What? No!
/ Elssa: It's okay to admit it, honey. Do you know how many girls I had to kill to get your father?
/ Dora: Please tell me you meant that metaphorically. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1040 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Dora and Elssa in the Bianchis' kitchen]] / Dora: So you really had to fight off other girls for dad?
/ Elssa: Oh yes, he was quite the ladies' man when we met. / [[Elssa brings a baggie of cannabis buds with a couple of rolled joints out of a cupboard]] / Dora: I have a hard time picturing dad as any kind of ladies' man. I mean, he's always been kinda short and pudgy, right?
/ Elssa: It was his confidence that made him so attractive. He was perfectly self-assured without being egotistical. / [[Ellsa lights one of the joints]] / Dora: Well, I guess it's comforting to know I'm not dating my father, then. Marten has the self-confidence of a sea slug.
/ Elssa: He seems like a nice boy, though. Cute, too! He's the first one you've brought home who I'd sleep with. / Dora: Oh...oh god, are you FANTASIZING about MY BOYFRIEND? / Elssa: So what if I am? It's okay to window shop as long as I don't go in and buy anything.
/ Dora: You're window shopping in MY WARDROBE! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1041 |
| Christmas Coloring Panel 2007 | [Depiction of Pintsize opening a box of undrawn contents. Pintsize and Hannelore look scared/shocked.] http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1042 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{Number 1043: Fondest Memories}}
/ [[Mr. Bianchi and Marten sitting in the living room]] / Peter Bianchi: Huh... smells like Elssa broke out the good stuff tonight.
/ Marten: Wow, Dora was kidding about you guys, uh, smoking. / Peter Bianchi: We partake every now and then. That cool with you?
/ Marten: Yeah, I mean, it's your house. / Peter Bianchi: Hah! Spoken like a true freedom-loving New Englander.
/ Marten: I'm, uh, actually from California. / Peter Bianchi: Oh yeah? Elssa and I went out there once. Spent a weekend in the Mojave out of our skulls on peyote, takin' pictures of scorpions. I think we met Hunter S. Thompson, but he mighta been a hallucianation.
/ Marten: Wow, what else have you done?
/ Peter Bianchi: Lessee... climbed Kilimanjaro, fought off pirates in the South Pacific, slapped Nancy Reagan on the ass...
/ Marten: Okay, now you're just messing with me. / Peter Bianchi: No way, man! Lookit this picture. There's me an' Elssa, and see how Nancy looks all shocked and Ron is tryin' not to crack up?
/ Marten: Well I'll be damned.
/ Peter Bianchi: Yep. The head Secret Service guy said he didn't know whether to high-five me or shoot me. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1043 |
| Number 1044: Nearly A Spit-Take | [[Marten is talking with Dora's Dad in the lounge of Dora's parents' place. Dora's Dad is puffing contentedly on a pipe and sipping what appears to be whiskey]]
/ Marten: So what do you do for a living that lets you do all this crazy stuff?
/ Dora's Dad: Oh, didn't Dora ever tell ya? I'm a photographer- freelance, mostly. I do a lotta work for National Geographic, that sorta thing. You prob'ly seen my stuff and you didn't even realize it. / Marten: Wow, that's really cool.
/ Dora's Dad: Yep, goin' self-employed was the hardest an' best thing I ever done. Yer never gonna love what you do until you do what you love. / Dora's Dad: What about your folks, what do they do?
/ Marten: Well, uh, my dad owns a nightclub, and my mom is an, uh... she's a fetish model.
/ Dora's Dad: No shit! What's her name? I mighta heard of 'er.
/ Marten: It's, uh...Veronica Vance. / Dora's Dad: YOUR MOM is Veronica Vance? Holy shit kid, I musta wacked it to your mom's pictures a million friggin' times! / Dora's Dad: That...that was prob'ly too much information, huh.
/ Marten: It's okay. Your daughter has put my penis in her mouth.
/ Dora's Dad: Touche, kid. Touche. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1044 |
| Number 1045: No Jokes About Gargling Please | [[Marten and Dora's Dad are in the lounge of Dora's parents' house. Dora walks in from another room. Marten looks up at her as she enters.]]
/ Dora: Hey sweetie, we should go. If I get any more of a contact high off mom I'll start eating cookies and never stop.
/ Marten: Okay. / [[Marten gets up and shakes Dora's dad's hand]]
/ Dora's dad: It was nice meetin' ya, Marty. Take care of my little girl.
/ Marten: I'll do my best. It was nice meeting you too. / [[Dora kisses her dad on the cheek as she says goodbye. Her dad looks a little uncomfortable]]
/ Dora: See you later, dad. Love you.
/ Dora's dad: Did you, uh, brush your teeth today? / [[Dora looks confused]]
/ Dora: Yes, why do you ask?
/ Dora's dad: Oh, no reason. Just, uh, just makin' sure you got proper dental hygiene.
/ Marten: You know what's just as important as brushing your teeth? Washing your hands.
/ Dora: Okay either the weed is making me paranoid, or there's some subtext to this conversation that I'm missing. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1045 |
| Number 1046: I Finally Friggin' Explained It, Okay | [[Marten and Dora are walking back to Marten's apartment in the evening]]
/ Dora: Man, I am high as BALLS. That stuff mom was smokin' was CRAZY strong.
/ Marten: My little stoner girlfriend.
/ Dora: Heh. Shaddup you. / [[Marten and Dora arrive at the front door to Marten's apartment just as Hannelore arrives with a bag of groceries]]
/ Marten: Hey Hanners, what's up?
/ Hannelore: Oh hi guys. What's... what's that funny smell?
/ Marten: Dora's parents, um, smoke. Marijuana. And we were over there for dinner.
/ Dora: You smoke, right Hanny-poo? Have you ever tried weed? It might do you a lot of good, actually.
/ Hannelore: Oh no, I couldn't. It's illegal. And I gave up smoking anyway. / [[Dora investigates Hannelore's groceries as Marten and Hannelore keep talking]]
/ Marten: How did you start in the first place? I mean, with your OCD...
/ Hannelore: I was trying to prove to myself I could do something I was afraid of. It's the same reason I talked to you that night at the bar, remember? / Marten: Yeah. You were so... oddly confident then.
/ Hannelore: I was on some pretty powerful anti-anxiety meds at the time. I really wasn't myself. / [[Dora retrieves a box of cookies from Hannelore's groceries]]
/ Marten: Hmm, that'd also explain why you were kinda stalking me, huh.
/ Hannelore: Oh, no, that was just me being my usual weird and creepy self.
/ Dora: I will give you two hundred dollars for these cookies. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1046 |
| Questionable Content: Much Too Much Too Much Information | Marten: So do you think your parents liked me?
/ Dora: I KNOW mom does. And you seemed to be gettin' along with dad just fine. / Faye: What're they like, Marty? Does Mrs. Bianchi really have big ol' hooters?
/ Marten: They're, uh, they're pretty big, I guess. I was trying not to look at them. Dora's dad is nice.
/ Faye: But it went well? No awkward moments?
/ Marten: There were a couple... / Dora: Really? When< I didn't notice any.
/ Marten: Well I was talkin' to your dad about what my mom does, and he kinda let something slip.
/ Dora: What?
/ Marten: I'd really rather not say.
/ Faye: C'mon, tell us! Tell us! / Marten: Your dad... used to jerk off to pictures of my mom.
/ {{Marten mentioned in an earlier comic that his mother's fetish model Veronica Vance.}}
/ Dora: WHAT?! Not him too!
/ Faye: "Him too?" / Dora: Marty, I don't really know how to tell you this, but, uh, your mom's old fetish photos were how I, um, figured out I liked girls.
/ Marten: Oh god, please don't tell me you used to diddle yourself to pictures of my mom.
/ Dora: I'm sorry! I was only fourteen! They were sexy and I didn't have access to any other erotica!
/ Faye: Man, and Oedipus thought HE had problems. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1047 |
| Number 1048: They Ran In The Same Circles | [[Dora, looking apprehensive, is talking with Marten in his apartment]]
/ Dora: I'm sorry about earlier. Are you mad at me?
/ Marten: No, it's just ... I know people LOOK at pictures of my mom, but people doing ... other stuff to them is something I try not to think about. / Dora: Does it bother you? What your mom does for a living?
/ Marten: Not really, I mean she was always pretty progressive about it when I was growing up, and since she used a pseudonym it's not like every kid in school knew my mom was in porn, you know? / Dora: I've always wondered, have you ever looked at your mom's stuff?
/ Marten: Well, I've seen a few of the PG rated pictures and the biography some cable network did about her, but I never looked at any of the more, uh, risqué stuff. That'd be creepy. / Dora: I guess that makes sense. I mean, I'd never want to see pictures of MY mom with a bullwhip in her—
/ [[Marten winces, hand over face]]
/ Marten: Please, PLEASE don't finish that sentence. / [[Beat.]] / Dora: I'm just saying, she must be a big Mapplethorpe fan, 'cause—
/ Marten: *DORA.*
/ Dora: Sorry, sorry! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1048 |
| Number 1049: Too Sleepy For Murder | [[Faye's apartment. A loud knocking on the door wakes Faye up]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1049 |
| Battle Becomes a War | [[In the gym shower for panels 1-2, Locker room for 3-5, front lobby for panel 6]]
/ Faye: Bluhhhh. So tired.
/ Penny: Don't think about how tired you are! Focus on the endorphins! / Faye: I only get endorphins from cookies and ice cream. It's a problem I have.
/ Penny: Well, I'm proud of you. You made it through another whole session! / Penny: By the way, I'm sorry I called you a fatty earlier. It was mean, and I shouldn't have said it.
/ Faye: Aw, don't worry about it. I know it was nothin' personal, comin' from one fat girl to another. / Penny: Wait, what the- I'm not fat!
/ Faye: Oh, you're skinny in SOME places, but I'm not the only CoD girl who has some junk in her trunk. / Penny: What are you talking about?! My trunk has no junk! Look at it! It's utterly junk-free! / Penny: Look at it! LOOK AT MY ASS AND TELL ME IT'S PRETTY!
/ Faye: No! Stoppit!
/ Male employee: Her bottom looks fine to me.
/ Female employee: Ssh, it's best not to get involved in domestic disputes. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1050 |
| Gladiators, Ready! | Dora: Hey Penny, where's Faye?
/ Penelope: Oh, we went to the gym this morning and she said she wanted to walk back to work. / Dora: Really? Good for her, I guess-
/ Faye: [[off frame]] LIES! / [[Faye, in the doorway with gritted teeth]] / Penelope: Well, hello there Faye. Did you enjoy your walk?
/ Faye: I...am...going...to...KILL you.
/ Dora: Uh, what's going on? / Faye: SHE made me WALK HERE from the GYM!
/ Penelope: Yeah, well, you called me fat!
/ Faye: YOU called ME fat first!
/ Dora: Ladies, ladies. We can resolve this conflict. / [[Penelope and Faye on opposite sides of the room, kneeling on office chairs, wielding brooms]]
/ Penelope: I...I don't think this is a very good idea.
/ Dora: It's either this or nude coffee bean wrestling. Your choice.
/ Faye: Two girls enter, one girl leaves! Two girls enter, one girl leaves! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1051 |
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