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| Questionable Content Guest Strip by Stirling McLaughlin | [[Faye is talking to herself, but Pintsize is listening curiously.]]
/ Faye: What am I going to do about Marten? It's not that I do not want to have a relationship with him, but it is just so awkward while we are still living together. / [[Pintsize's emotions change from curious to excited.]]
/ Faye: Maybe I should find someone else. Maybe I should find some man, woman, or dare I say robot, to be with. Maybe I need to send a clear signal that I am not romantically available. / [[Pintsize steps up to Faye and makes his move.]] / [[A MacOS 9 sign is in the background.]]
/ Faye: Sorry big guy. Once you go Mac, you never go back. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=211 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: What am I going to do about Marten? It's not that I do not want to have a relationship with him, but it is just so awkward while we are still living together.
/ [Pintsize with '?' over his head] / Faye: Maybe I should find someone else. Maybe I should find some man, woman, or dare I say robot, to be with. Maybe I need to send a clear signal that I am not romantically available.
/ [Pintsize with '!!!' over his head, smiling] / [Pintsize puts hand on Faye's arm, smiling wide] [Faye looking surprised] / Faye: Sorry big guy. Once you go Mac, you never go back.
/ [Pintsize looking defeated] http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=211 |
| Questionable Content: Number 212: Does Thinkgeek Sell Pampers? | TITLE BAR: Number 212: Does Thinkgeek Sell Pampers? / TRANSCRIPT: / PANEL 1 / Faye: Sho how do you tashte shtuff, anyway?
/ Pintsize: Chemical spectrometer linked to a holding tank in my torso. / PANEL 2 / Marten: Hmm, that would explain why eating that tomato sauce didn't completely short you out...
/ Pintsize: I can eat things now! Hooray! / PANEL 3 / Faye: Where does the food go after you've tasted it?
/ Pintsize: Well I don't really know because this is the first time I've-
/ < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=212 |
| Number 212: Does Thinkgeek Sell Pampers? | [[Faye, Marten, and Pintsize in their apartment; Faye still has her lollypop]]
/ Faye: Sho how do you tashte shtuff, anyway?
/ Pintsize: Chemical spectrometer linked to a holding tank in my torso. / Marten: Hmm, that would explain why eating that tomato sauce didn't completely short you out...
/ Pintsize: I can eat things now! Hooray! / Faye: Where does the food go after you've tasted it?
/ Pintsize: Well I don't really know because this is the first time I've--
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=212 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Okay, I have had a long day and need some sleep. Goodnight, Marten.
/ Marten: Night, Faye. Hope your hand feels better in the morning. / Faye: Unf... rrrgh ow!
/ Faye: Uh, Marten? Could you come help me? / Marten: What's wrong?
/ Faye: My pants are buttoned rather tightly and I can't get them off with one hand. Can I trust you to assist me honorably?
/ Marten: Sure, of course! / Marten: Rrrgh! Jesus, how tight are these on you?!
/ Faye: It's not my fault! A lady likes to look shapely, and sometimes this requires a crowbar and some lube to get into pants! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=213 |
| Number 213: Get A Bolt Cutter | Faye: Okay, I have a long day and need some sleep. Goodnight, Marten.
/ Marten: Night, Faye. Hope your hand feels better in the morning. / [[Marten in his bedroom, hears Faye from inside]]
/ Faye: Unf...rrrgh ow! Uh, Marten? Could you come help me?
/
/ Marten: What's wrong?
/ Faye: My pant's are buttoned rather tightly and I can't get them off with one hand. Can I trust you to assist me honorably?
/ Marten: Sure, of course!
/
/ Marten: Rrrrgh! Jesus, how tight are these on you?!
/ Faye: It's not my fault! A lady likes to look shapely, and sometimes this requires a crowbar and some lube to get into pants! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=213 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: Thanks for helping me with my, um, pants issues last night.
/ Marten: Oh, no problem. You're lucky we didn't have to break out the hacksaw! / Faye: Very funny.
/ Marten: I don't get the obsession girls have with fitting into clothes that are too tight for them. Wouldn't you rather just wear something more comfortable? / Faye: It's not that simple! Sometimes you go to put on some pants that fit you fine last week and they're maybe a little tighter because of hormones or water retention or because you were working out and your leg muscles are swollen. / Marten: What about those Pepperidge Farm cookies you keep hidden under the couch? Are those another culprit?
/ Faye: No. Those... those are for making myself feel better about my slightly larger bottom. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=214 |
| Questionable Content | {{Number 214: Emergency Rations}}
/ [[interior Marten's blue living room]]
/ [[Faye sits on the couch, Marten stands beside it]]
/ Faye: Thank you for helping me with my, um, pants issues last night.
/ Marten: Oh, no problem. You're lucky we didn't have to break out the hacksaw! / Faye: Very funny.
/ Marten: I don't get the obsession girls have with fitting into clothes that are too tight for them. Wouldn't you rather just wear something more comfortable? / Faye: It's not that simple! Sometimes you go to put on some pants that fit you fine last week and they're maybe a little tighter because of hormones or water retention or because you were working out and your leg muscles are swollen. / Marten: What about those Pepperidge Farms cookies you keep hidden under the couch? Are those another culprit?
/ Faye: [[downcast]] No. Those...those are for making myself feel better about my slightly larger bottom. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=214 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Hello? Oh, hey Steve. What's up? Wait, tonight? Oh, uh sure that's fine with me. See you at the restaurant then, bye. / Faye: So the big date is tonight, then?
/ Marten: Man, Steve must really be into this girl to set up the date the day after he gets her number. I'd better call Dora and let her know. / Marten: Hey, Dora? It's Marten.
/ Dora: Oh hey kiddo, what's up?
/ Marten: Well uh apparently Steve scheduled this date thing for tonight at like 8, is that okay with you?
/ Dora: Sure thing, cutie! Come pick me up around 7:45, okay? See you then! / Marten: Well, I guess I'm going to pick her up tonight, then.
/ Faye: I bet she greets you wearing nothing but a couple layers of Saran-Wrap. Hmph.
/ Marten: It'd be really awkward if that's what Ellen decided to wear tonight as well. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=215 |
| Number 215: Can You Hear Me Now? Good! | Marten: [[answers phone]] Hello? Oh hey, Steve. What's up? Wait, tonight? Oh, uh sure that's fine with me. See you at the restaurant then, bye. / Faye: So the big date is tonight, then?
/ Marten: Man, Steve must really be into this girl to set up the date the day after he gets her number. I'd better call Dora and let her know. / Marten: Hey, Dora? It's Marten.
/ Dora: [[In a towel]] Oh hey kiddo, what's up?
/ Marten: Well uh apparently Steve scheduled this date for tonight at like 8, is that okay with you?
/ Dora: Sure thing, Cutie! Come pick me up around 7:45 okay? See you then! / Marten: Well, I guess I'm going to pick her up tonight, then.
/ Faye: I bet she greets you at the door wearing nothing but a couple layers of Saran-Wrap. Hmph.
/ Marten: It'd be really awkward if that's what Ellen decided to wear tonight as well. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=215 |
| Questionable Content Number 216: For His Protection | [[Faye and Marten are standing inside their apartment. Marten is wearing a Wilco shirt.]]
/ Marten: Okay, I'm all set.
/ Faye: Are you sure? I still don't think your eyeshadow matches those pants.
/ Marten: Ha ha, smartass. / [[Marten starts to walk out the door of their apartment. The number 8 can be seen on the exterior of the door.]]
/ Marten: All right, I'm going to pick Dora up now. See you later, Faye.
/ Faye: Wait, before you go, Marten... / Faye: Listen--If anything happens with Dora, if she makes a move on you or snuggles up close or something...
/ Marten: Yeah? / [[Faye holds up a small red spray bottle.]]
/ Faye: Spray her with this mace. Make sure you aim for the eyes.
/ Marten: Right, because taking two different girls to the hospital two nights in a row wouldn't look shady at alll. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=216 |
| Number 216: For His Protection | PANEL 1
/ Marten: Okay, I'm all set.
/ Faye: Are you sure? I still don't think your eyeshadow matches those pants.
/ Marten: Ha ha, smartass. / PANEL 2
/ Marten: All right, I'm going to pick Dora up now. See you later, Faye.
/ Faye: Wait, before you go, Marten... / PANEL 3
/ Faye: Listen - If anything happens with Dora, if she makes a move on you or snuggles up close or something...
/ Marten: Yeah? / PANEL 4
/ Faye: Spray her with this mace. Make sure you aim for the eyes.
/ Marten: Right, because taking two different girls to the hospital two nights in a row wouldn't look shady at all. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=216 |
| Questionable Content: Number 217: I Have That Sweater | TITLE BAR: Number 217: I Have That Sweater / TRANSCRIPT: / PANEL 1 / < http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=217 |
| Number 217 : I Have That Sweater | [[Marten in fron of Dora's apartment]]
/ < http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=217 |
| Questionable Content: Number 218: Awkward Maki | TITLE BAR: Number 218: Awkward Maki / TRANSCRIPT: / PANEL 1 / Dora: Do you see them anywhere?
/ Marten: Yeah, they're over in the back corner. Steve's a whore for good Chinese food, he always eats there. / PANEL 2 / Steve: Hey kids, glad you could make it. Ellen, these are my friends Dora and Marten.
/ Dora: Hello!
/ Marten: Nice to, uh, meet you again. / PANEL 3 / Ellen: I like your sweater! It's really cute.
/ Dora: Oh, thanks. It's actually a guys' sweater. Thank goodness for thrift stores, I guess.
/ Ellen: You know, sometimes I wish I had a boyish figure like you. It must be so much easier finding shirts that fit! / PANEL 4 / Ellen: Ummm...I mean, not that you, uh, look like a boy or anything...
/ Dora: Steve, you may need to order for your little friend here. The waiter won't be able to understand her with her foot crammed so far down her throat.
/ Marten: Proof that one need not be in a French restaurant to make a faux pas, I suppose. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=218 |
| Number 218: Awkward Maki | [[Entering a restaurant]]
/ Dora: Do you see them anywhere?
/ Marten: Yeah, they're over in the back corner. Steve's a whore for good chinese food, he always eats here. / [[Ellen and Steve are already seated]]
/ Steve: Hey kids, glad you could make it. Ellen, these are my friends Dora and Marten.
/ Dora: Hello!
/ Marten: Nice to, uh, meet you again. / Ellen: [[to Dora]] I like your sweater! It's really cute.
/ Dora: Oh, thanks. It's actually a guys' sweater. Thank goodness for thrift stores, I guess.
/ Ellen: You know, sometimes I wish I had a boyish figure like you. It must be so much easier finding shirts that fit. / Ellen: Ummm... I mean, not that you, uh, look like a boy or anything...
/ Dora: Steve, you may need to order for your little friend here. The waiter won't be able to understand her with her foot crammed so far down her throat.
/ Marten: Proof that one need not be in a French restaurant to make a faux pas, I suppose. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=218 |
| Questionable Content: Number 219: I Like Fish Too | TITLE BAR: Number 219: I Like Fish Too / TRANSCRIPT: / PANEL 1 / Steve: So, uh, what do you do in your spare time?
/ Ellen: Well mostly I just go to school and study. / PANEL 2 / Steve: Oh, you're sill in college then?
/ Ellen: Yeah, I'm majoring in marine biology with a minor in philosophy. / PANEL 3 / Marten: That's an unusual combination.
/ Ellen: Yeah, but it's a largely unexplored field. My final project this semester involved explaining Derrida to moray eels. / PANEL 4 / Steve: Did you find out anything interesting?
/ Ellen: Not really. It turns out that eels don't care about Derrida, they just want to eat fish.
/ Dora: I want to eat fish! The eel is my spirit animal! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=219 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | TITLE BAR: Number 219: I Like Fish Too / TRANSCRIPT: / PANEL 1
/ Steve: So, uh, what do you do in your spare time?
/ Ellen: Well mostly I just go to school and study. / PANEL 2
/ Steve: Oh, you're still in college then?
/ Ellen: Yeah, I'm majoring in marine biology with a minor in philosophy. / PANEL 3
/ Marten: That's an unusual combination.
/ Ellen: Yeah, but it's a largely unexplored field. My final project this semester involved explaining Derrida to morray eels. / PANEL 4
/ Steve: Did you find out anything interesting?
/ Ellen: Not really. It turns out that eels don't care about Derrida. They just want to eat fish.
/ Faye: I want to eat fish! The eel is my spirit animal! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=219 |
| Questionable Content: Number 220: She's Not Upset | TITLE BAR: Number 220: She's Not Upset / TRANSCRIPT: / PANEL 1 / Pintsize: So Marten and Dora are out on their date now?
/ Faye: Yes. / PANEL 2 / Pintsize: I like what you've done with your hair.
/ Faye: Thank you.
/ Pintsize: So, uh do you... / PANEL 3 / Faye: NO I DO NOT CARE THAT THEY ARE OUT ON A DATE TOGETHER IT DOES NOT BOTHER ME IN THE SLIGHTEST SO PLEASE DO NOT ASK AGAIN
/ Pintsize: Waugh! / PANEL 4 / Pintsize: I was only asking if you wanted to play a game of Scrabble!
/ Faye: I will only spell words such as "slut" and "trollop" and "strangle". http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=220 |
| Number 220: She's Not Upset | [[In Marten and Faye's apartment, on the couch]]
/ Pintsize: So Marten and Dora are out on their date now?
/ Faye: [[arms folded]] Yes. / Pintsize: I like what you've done with your hair.
/ Faye: Thank you.
/ Pintsize So, uh, do you... / Faye: NO I DO NOT CARE THAT THEY ARE OUT ON A DATE TOGETHER IT DOES NOT BOTHER ME IN THE SLIGHTEST SO DO NOT ASK AGAIN
/ Pintsize: Waugh! / Pintsize: I was only asking if you wanted to play a game of Scrabble!
/ Faye: I will only spell words such as "slut" and "trollop" and "strangle." http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=220 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: I think I see our food coming out.
/ Dora: yum yum! I'm starving. / Waitress: General Tso's chicken for you, and sushi deluxe meal for you. Thank you!
/ Dora: Prepare to meet your doom, fishes!
/ Ellen: whimper / Steve: What's the matter? Are you feeling okay?
/ Ellen: Oh! No, it's nothing, I'm fine. I swear.
/ Dora: Yum! Chomp chomp! / Ellen: My...my poor little innocent fishy friends! You monster!
/ Dora: Your little fishy friends are delicious. Want some? I think this guy's still wiggling.
/ Marten: I suppose now would be a bad time to tell the story of when I swallowed a live goldfish on a dare. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=221 |
| Number 221: She's A Little Shark | [[In the restaurant]]
/ Marten: I think I see our food coming out.
/ Dora: Yum yum! I'm starving. / Waitress: General Tso's chicken for you [[Ellen]], and sushi deluxe meal for you [[Dora]]. Thank you!
/ Ellen: whimper
/ Dora: Prepare to meet your doom, fishes! / Steve: What's the matter? Are you feeling okay?
/ Ellen: Oh! No, it's nothing, I'm fine. I swear.
/ Dora: Yum! Chomp chomp! / Ellen: My... my poor little innocent fishy friends! You monster!
/ Dora: Your little fishy friends are delicious. Want some? I think this guy's still wiggling.
/ Marten: I suppose now would be a bad time to tell the story of when I swallowed a live goldfish on a dare. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=221 |
| Number 222: A Private Conversation | Marten: Excuse me, I gotta go to the little boys' room.
/ Steve: You now what? I was thinking the same thing. / Dora: Gossiping about us in the bathroom? What are you, seventeen-year-old girls?
/ Marten: Actually, yes. I need to go change my tampon.
/ Dora: Does that mean if I'm nice to you I can earn my red wings tonight? / Ellen: He's...he's not serious, is he? Like he's not actually a really manly girl, right?
/ Dora: No no honey, check his Adam's apple. He's all boy-parts. Besides, I don't go for the butch girls.
/ Ellen: Oh, I...wait, you're gay?
/ Dora: As gay as you are socially astute, evidently. / Steve: So is she awesome or what? I think tonight's going really well.
/ Marten: Man stop looking at me while I am trying to pee, that's the creepiest thing a dude can do to another guy at the urinals. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=222 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{A Private Conversation}}
/ [[Interior of a Restaurant]] / Marten: Excuse me, I gotta go the the little boys' room.
/ Steve: You know what? I was thinking the same thing. / Dora: Gossiping about us in the bathroom? What are you, seventeen-year-old girls?
/ Marten: Actually, yes. I need to go change my tampon.
/ Dora: Does that mean if I'm nice to you I can earn my red wings tonight? / Ellen: He's . . . he's not serious is he? Like he's not actually a really manly girl, right?
/ Dora: No, no honey, check his Adam's apple. He's all boy-parts. Besides, I don't go for the butch girls.
/ Ellen: Oh, I . . . wait, you're gay?
/ Dora: As gay as you are socially astute, evidently. / [[Men's Bathroom behind urinals]] / Steve: So is she awesome or what? I think tonight's going really well.
/ Marten: Man stop looking at me while I am trying to pee, that's the creepiest thing a dude can do to another guy at the urinals. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=222 |
| Number 223: Encrypted Transmission | Steve: Well, that was some tasty food. Are you gonna come to the movie with us?
/ Dora: Actually I have to open the shop tomorrow morning, I should probably get home and get some sleep. / Marten: I'll, uh, walk you home.
/ Dora: Aww, how chivalrous of you. / Steve: Right on then, see you kids later.
/ Ellen: It was nice meeting you
/ Dora: You too Ellen.
/ Marten: Later dudes. / Dora: You sure seemed happy to be getting out of here.
/ Marten: Steve was kicking my foot under the table. That's his code signal for "get out of here so I can get my mack on, or bad things will happen."
/ Marten: I don't now where he gets the scorpions or how he gets them into my mattress, but I'd rather not repeat the experience. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=223 |
| Questionable Content Number 223: Encrypted Transmission | Steve: Well, that was some tasty food. Are you gonna come to the movie with us?
/ Dora: Actually I have to open the shop tommorow morning, I should probably get home and get some sleep / Marten: I'll, uh, walk you home
/ Dora: Aww, how chivalrous of you / Steve: Right on then, see you kids later.
/ Ellen: It was nice meeting you!
/ Dora: You too Ellen
/ Marten: Later dudes / Dora: You sure seemed happy to be getting out of here
/ Marten: Steve was kicking my foot under the table. That's his code signal for "get out of here so I can get my mack on, or bad things will happen"
/ Marten: I don't know where he gets the scorpions or how he gets them into my mattress, but I'd rather not repeat the experience. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=223 |
| Number 224: ID Please | Marten: Steve and Ellen make a cute couple, don't you think?
/ Dora: Mmm...did Ellen seem a little, uh, young to you?
/ Marten: No, not really. Why do you ask?
/ Dora: Oh, it's probably nothing. Nevermind. / Ellen: My birthday's actually coming up next week! I'm so excited!
/ Steve: Heheh, man. I didn't even do anything for my twenty-fourth birthday. I just went and got drunk at the bar with Marten. / Ellen: Oh...wow. You're twenty-four? I've, uh, never dated someone that much older than me before...
/ Steve: Well, I think age differences don't really matter as much after a certain point, you know? I mean, it's not like you're jailbait or...something... / Steve: You're...you're not jailbait, right?
/ Ellen: Ummmm...Not after next Tuesday! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=224 |
| Number 224: ID Please | Marten: Steve and Ellen make a cute couple, don't you think?
/ Dora: Mmm...did Ellen seem a little, uh, young to you?
/ Marten: No, not really. Why do you ask?
/ Dora: Oh, it's probably nothing. Nevermind. / Ellen: My birthday's actually coming up next week! I'm so excited !
/ Steve: Heheh, man. I didn't even do anything for me twenty-fourth birthday. I just went and got drunk at the bar with Marten. / Ellen: Oh...wow. You're twenty-four? I've, uh, never dated someone that much older than me before...
/ Steve: Well, I think age differences don't really matter as much after a certain point, you know? I mean, it's not like you're jailbait or...something... / Steve: You're...you're not jailbait, right?
/ Ellen: Ummmm...Not after next Tuesday? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=224 |
| 225: Comin' Home | Marten: Well, we got you home in one piece.
/ Dora: Yep! I had fun tonight, Marten.
/ Marten: Heh, me too. / Dora: So do you want to come inside for a drink?
/ Marten: Uh I ah er uh... / Dora: Oh don't be so bashful, I promise my intentions are chaste. Come have some coffee before you walk home. / Dora: You still look unhappy. What's the matter?
/ Marten: I think my brain is just trying to decide whether to be relieved or disappointed in your pure intentions.
/ Dora: Honey, you're a boy. That's not your brain feeling disappointement. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=225 |
| Number 225: Coming Home | [[Outside Dora's apartment]]
/ Marten: Well, we got you home in once piece.
/ Dora: Yep! I had fun tonight, Marten.
/ Marten: Heh, me too / Dora: So, do you want to come inside for a drink?
/ Marten: Uh I ah er uh... / Dora: Oh don't be so bashful, I promise my intentions are chaste. Come have some coffee before you walk home. / Dora: You still look unhappy. What's the matter?
/ Marten: I think my brain is just trying to decide whether to be relieved or disappointed in your pure intentions.
/ Dora: Honey, you're a boy. That's not your brain feeling disappointment. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=225 |
| Number 226: Impressionism | [[Inside Dora's apartment]]
/ Dora: So, let's talk about Faye.
/ Marten: I ah buh wha? / Dora: Oh, come on, don't play dumb. How do you feel about her? Give me all the gory details.
/ Marten: Well, uh, that's kind of a complication question... / Dora: "Durr, I really like her but she's so alternately distant and friendly that I can't decide whether she's worth pursuing durr!" Does that sound about right to you?
/ Marten: Uh, yeah, yeah it kinda does. / Marten: You know, it sounds really fuckin' stupid when someone other than me says it.
/ Dora: It's okay, sweetie. "Really fuckin' stupid" is still a lot better than most boys do when talking about their emotions! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=226 |
| Number 227: Scheming | [[Dora and Marten sitting on a couch in Dora's apartment. The cat is crawling over them. ]]
/ Dora: So you like Faye, but you don't know whether you should pursue or not, correct?
/ Marten: Yeah, I guess so. / Marten:I kinda feel like she has some sort of issue from her past that prevents her from really opening up to people.
/ Dora: Gee, ya think? Saying Faye has issues is like saying Antartica is slightly chilly.
/ Marten: So what do you think I should do? / Dora: Well, if you ask me, she does have a bit of a thing for you, but feels that she can't act on it for whatever reasons are in her misguided little head. You have to ask yourself whether she's really worth all this uncertainty or angst. There are other girls out there, you know. / Dora: And, because I'm way too honest for my own good, I must inform you that my motives in giving you this advice may not be entirely altruistic.
/ Marten: You know, I really wish I were an emo kid right now. All this drama would make for an awesome Livejournal. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=227 |
| Number 227: Scheming | [[In Dora's apartment]]
/ Dora: So you like Faye but don't know whether to pursue her, correct?
/ Marten: Yeah, I guess so. / Marten: I kinda feel like she has some sort of issue from her past that prevents her from really opening up to people.
/ Dora: Gee, ya think? Saying Faye has issues is like saying Antarctica is slightly chilly.
/ Marten: So what do you think I should do? / Dora: Well if you ask me, she does have a bit of a thing for you, but feels that she can't act on it for whatever reasons are in her misguided little head. You have to ask yourself whether she's really worth all this uncertainty and angst. There are other girls out there, you know. / Dora: And, because I'm way too honest for my own good, I must inform you that my motives in giving you this advice may not be entirely altruistic.
/ Marten: You know, I really wish I were an emo kid right now. All this drama would make for an awesome LiveJournal. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=227 |
| Questionable Content | Marten: I dunno. I can't just decide not to like her because she's complicated or whatever.
/ Dora: That's true. You can't simply ignore what your heart is trying to tell you.
/ Marten: I don't know if I should just force the issue now and find out what her deal is, or play it safe and wait. / Dora: I honestly don't think she's ready to own up to her past. If you're too pushy she might freak out and run. I think right now you should just give her more time. See if she gets more comfortable with you, and keep an eye on your own feelings, as they may change. / Marten: Dora, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your advice. Thanks so much for listening to my random whining.
/ Dora: No problem, honey. You're being honest with me, so I'm being honest with you. Let's be friends, okay? / Marten: Are... are you trying to grab my ass?
/ Dora: What, doesn't being your friend grant me ass-grabbing privileges? http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=228 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 228: Bras Are Weird to Draw / Martin: I dunno. I can't just decide not to like her because she's complicated or whatever. / Dora: That's true. You can't simply ignore what your heart is trying to tell you. / Martin: I don't know if I should just force the issue now and find out what her deal is, or play it safe and wait. / Dora: [[Changing her shirt.]] I honestly don't think she's ready to own up to her past. If you're too pushy she might freak out and run. / Dora: I think right now you should just give her more time. See if she gets more comfortable with you, and keep an eye on your own feelings, as they may change. / Martin: Dora, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your advice. Thanks so much for listening to my random whining. / Dora: No problem, honey. You're being honest with me, so I'm being honest with you. Let's be friends, okay? / Martin: Are...are you trying to grab my ass? / Dora: What, doesn't being your friend grant me ass-grabbing privileges? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=228 |
| Number 229: Awww | [[Marten and Dora standing in Dora's living room.]]
/ Marten: So, uh...
/ Dora: You should probably get on home before Faye starts to think we're getting our bone on.
/ Marten: Heh, right. / [[Marten walking out the door of Dora's apartment, waving goodbye to Dora.]]
/ Marten: Thanks again, Dora. I had a fun night and really appreciate your advice. See you around.
/ Dora: Sure thing sweetie, anytime. Nighty night! / [[Marten in the hallway, walking away.]]
/ Marten: Man, that girl is- / [[Dora sitting against the wall next to the front door, looking sad.]]
/ Dora: -too nice for my own Goddamn good. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=229 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | TITLE BAR: Comic Number 229: Awww / [[Interior Dora's apartment]]
/ Marten: So, uh...
/ Dora: You should probably get on home before Faye starts to think we're getting our bone on.
/ Marten: Heh, right. / Marten: Thanks again, Dora. I had a fun night and really appreciate your advice. See you around.
/ Dora: Sure thing sweetie, anytime. Nighty night! / [[Exterior of Dora's apartment]]
/ Marten: Man, that girl is -- / [[Interior of Dora's apartment, speaking to black cat]]
/ Dora: -- too nice for my own Goddamn good. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=229 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Marten: Hey, I'm back.
/ Faye: You're home early. Did Dora just pounce on you early on or did you just crash and burn? / Marten: Neither, really. After dinner we went back to her place and hung out for a while. It was fun.
/ Faye: Oh was it? / Marten: Fun in the sense that drinking coffee and talking with a female friend is fun, since that's all we did.
/ Faye: Damn, either my lie-dar isn't working or Dora has been replaced by her alternate universe twin, who is also a nun.
/ PintSize:An entire alternate universe of nuns! The Nuniverse! Quick, get Stephen Baxter on the phone, I have the idea for his next book! http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=230 |
| Number 230: Lie-Dar Is Different Than LIDAR | Marten: Hey, I'm back.
/ Faye: You're home early. Did Dora just pounce on you early on or did you crash and burn? / Marten: Neither, really. After dinner we went back to her place and hung out for a while. It was fun.
/ Faye: Oh was it? / [[awkward stares between Marten and Faye]] / Marten: Fun in the sense that drinking coffee and talking with a female friend is fun, since that's all we did.
/ Faye: Damn, either my lie-dar isn't working or Dora has been replaced by her alternative universe twin, who is also a nun.
/ Pintsize: An entire alternate universe of nuns! The Nuniverse! Quick get Stephen Baxter on the phone, I have the idea for his next book! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=230 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 231: That Darned Conscience / Panel 1
/ Steve: So you're only seventeen years old? How did you-
/ Ellen: Oh, I got into college early, if that's what you were about to ask. / Panel 2
/ Steve: Oh man, Look, Ellen, you're a really nice girl and I like you a lot, but if I had known you were that young I wouldn't have-
/ Ellen: You wouldn't have asked me out, even though you're clearly attracted to me? / Panel 3
/ Steve: Well, I mean it's not that I don't, uh...
/ Ellen: Tell me one thing. If I were eighteen now, if my birthday had been last week instead of next week, would you even care? Would my age even matter to you? / Panel 4
/ Steve: Well yeah, but it'd be a lot easier to ignore my conscience and kiss you right now.
/ Ellen: Honest, sweet, and intelligent, yet completely crass at the same time. You sure do have a way with the ladies. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=231 |
| Number 231: That Darned Conscience | [[Outside Ellen's door]]
/ Steve: So you're only seventeen years old? How did you--
/ Ellen: Oh, I got into college early, if that's what you were about to ask. / Steve: Oh man. Look, Ellen, you're a really nice girl and I like you a lot, but if I had known you were that young I wouldn't have--
/ Ellen: You wouldn't have asked me out, even though you're clearly attracted to me? / Steve: Well, I mean it's not that I don't, uh...
/ [[Holding Steve's hands]]
/ Ellen: Tell me one thing. If I were eighteen now, if my birthday had been last week instead of next week, would you even care? Would my age even matter to you? / Steve: Well yeah, but it'd be a lot easier to ignore my conscience and kiss you right now.
/ Ellen: Honest, sweet, intelligent, yet completely crass at the same time. You sure do have a way with the ladies. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=231 |
| Number 232: Theology | [[Marten walking into the living room holding a sandwich, Faye sitting on the couch]]
/ Marten: Why are you so shocked that Dora and I didn't hook up, anyway?
/ Faye: When I was little, I was assured that promiscuity was rampant up here in the Godless North. Dora seems to have defied the stereotype. / [[Marten walking behind the couch, Faye sitting on the couch]]
/ Marten: The "Godless North"? If there even is a God, why would he or she or it shun the northern portions of the United States?
/ Faye: It's because of all the cold and snow. God needs sunlight and a semi-tropical environment in which to do His mighty work! / [[Marten sitting down on the couch with the sandwich in his mouth, Faye sitting on the couch]]
/ Marten: Buh?
/ Faye: God is a monitor lizard! He can't spend half the year hibernating, He has too much to do. Therefore, He shuns the North and its bitter winters. / [[Marten and Faye sitting on the couch]]
/ Marten: Man, what kind of fucked up Protestant sect were you brought up in?
/ Faye: Actually, my parents weren't very religious. I just watched a lot of nature shows during my formative years. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=232 |
| Number 232: Theology | Panel 1
/ Marten: Why are you so shocked that Dora and I didn't hook up, anyway?
/ Faye: When I was little, I was assured that promiscuity was rampant up here in the Godless North. Dora seems to have defied the stereotype. / Panel 2
/ Marten: The "Godless North"? If there even is a God, why would he or she or it shun the northern portions of the United States?
/ Faye: It's because of all the cold and snow. God needs sunlight and a semi-tropical environment in which to do His mighty work! / Panel 3
/ Marten: Buh?
/ Faye: God is a monitor lizard! He can't spend half the year hibernating, He has too much to do. Therefore, He shuns the North and its bitter winters. / Panel 4
/ Marten: Man, what kind of fucked up Protestant sect were you brought up in?
/ Faye: Actually, my parents weren't very religious. I just watched a lot of nature shows during my formative years. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=232 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 233: A Narrative / Faye: Are you sad that you didn't get to play tongue judo with Dora tonight?
/ Marten: Not really. I mean I had fun hanging out with her, but it was pretty obviously not gonna happen. / Faye: That's odd. I could have sworn Dora wanted to mount you like a Harley and then ride you like a stallion. I'm not usually wrong about these things.
/ Marten: Normally I'd criticize your mixing of metaphors, but that's pretty accurate, anatomically speaking. / Faye: Maybe it's some residual gothy sad-mongering that's affecting her judgement. She could be pushing you away because she likes being miserable.
/ Marten: I dunno, that doesn't really sound like Dora to me... / Faye: She's at home listening to the Red House Painters, gazing moodily at her Morrissey poster and sighing. Pop Tart crumbs litter her sheets. Sad Pop Tart crumbs, crumbs of loneliness and dejection.
/ Marten: You know, the s'mores flavored Pop Tarts always did taste a little morose to me. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=233 |
| Number 233: A Narrative | PANEL 1
/ Faye: Are you sad that you didn't get to play tongue judo with Dora tonight?
/ Marten: Not really. I mean I had fun hanging out with her, but it was pretty obviously not gonna happen. / PANEL 2
/ Faye: That's odd. I could have sworn Dora wanted to mount you like a Harley and then ride you like a stallion. I'm not usually wrong about these things.
/ Marten: Normally I'd criticize your mixing of metaphors, but that's pretty accurate, anatomically speaking. / PANEL 3
/ Faye: Maybe it's some residual gothy sad-mongering that's affecting her judgement. She could be pushing you away because she likes being miserable.
/ Marten: I dunno, that doesn't really sound like Dora to me ... / PANEL 4
/ Faye: She's at home listening to the Red House Painters, gazing moodily at her Morrissey poster and sighing. Pop Tart crumbs litter her sheets. Sad Pop Tart crumbs, crumbs of loneliness and dejection.
/ Marten: You know, the s'mores flavored Pop Tarts always did taste a little morose to me. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=233 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[Pintsize is chatting online with a pink robot]]
/ Pintsize: So my owner went out on a date but didn't get to make out.
/ Robot: what's the deal with making out anyway? humans are so obsessed with it / Pintsize: Well from what I can tell it's like remotely connecting to another computer. If you do it right you might just get full administrator access. ;)
/ Robot: kissing == SSH? LOL! / Pintsize: So do you want to try connecting with me?
/ Robot: i dunno is it safe
/ Pintsize: I promise I won't corrupt your files, baby.
/ Robot: OMG MY OWNER IS HERE G2G L8R / [[Marten enters]]
/ Marten: What are you doing in here, anyway?
/ Pintsize: Crashing and burning, apparently. Could you, uh leave me alone in here for a little while? I need to defragment myself now. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=234 |
| Number 234: Cyber Cyber Sex | Panel 1
/ [[In chat window]]
/ Pintsize: So my owner went out on a date but didn't get to make out.
/ Pink AntrhoPC: what's the deal with making out anyway? humans are so obsessed with it / Panel 2
/ [[In chat window]]
/ Pintsize: Well from what I can tell it's like remotely connecting to another computer. If you do it right you might just get full administrator access. ;)
/ Pink AnthroPC: kissing == SSH? LOL! / Panel 3
/ [[In chat window]]
/ Pintsize: So do you want to try connecting with me?
/ Pink AnthroPC: i dunno is it safe
/ Pintsize: I promise I won't corrupt your files, baby.
/ Pink AnthroPC: OMG MY OWNER IS HERE G2G L8R / Panel 4
/ Marten: What are you doing in here, anyway?
/ Pintsize: Crashing and burning, apparently. Could you, uh leave me alone in here for a little while? I need to defragment myself now. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=234 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 235: Good Intentions / Panel 1
/ Steve: I should probably get going.
/ Ellen: Mm, yeah. It's pretty late. / Panel 2
/ Steve: Look, I-
/ Ellen: I'm sorry I didn't bring up my age sooner, Steve. I didn't mean to make things all awkward for you. I'm really sorry. / Panel 3
/ Steve: No no, it's ok. I just need a couple days to get this sorted out in my head, you know? I like you a lot, Ellen, and I'd also like to see you again if possible.
/ Ellen: I'd like that too. / Panel 4
/ Ellen: So can I kiss you goodnight, or would that be weird?
/ Steve: I think as long as I don't grab your butt it's okay.
/ Ellen: It's probably better that you didn't, anyway. Chinese food makes me gassy. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=235 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | {{ Number 235: Good Intentions }}
/ Steve: I should probably get going.
/ Ellen: Mm, yeah. It's pretty late. / Steve: Look, I-
/ Ellen: I'm sorry I didn't bring up my age sooner, Steve. I didn't mean to make things all awkward for you. I'm really sorry. / Steve: No no, it's okay. I just need a couple days to get this sorted out in my head, you know? I like you a lot, Ellen, and I'd also like to see you again if possible.
/ Ellen: I'd like that too. / Ellen: So can I kiss you goodnight, or would that be weird?
/ Steve: I think as long as I don't grab your butt it's okay.
/ Ellen: It's probably better that you didn't, anyway. Chinese food makes me gassy. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=235 |
| Number 236: Like A Puppy In The Rain | [[Faye and Marten sitting on the couch]]
/ Faye: I should probably get to bed. I have an early shift tomorrow.
/ Marten: Okay, sleep well then. / [[Faye and Marten sitting on the couch]]
/ Faye: Are you sure you're not bummed out about tonight?
/ Marten: Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for caring. / [[Faye leaning towards Marten on the couch]]
/ Faye: You know, you're a really nice fellow, Marten. You may not have gotten smooches tonight, but I'm sure you will at some point.
/ Marten: Heh, you think? / [[Faye gently grabbing Marten's cheek]]
/ Faye: Of course! You're so pathetic, some girl is bound to take pity on you eventually!
/ Marten: Gee, thanks. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=236 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 236: Like A Puppy In The Rain / [[Faye and Marten sitting on the couch]]
/ Faye: I should probably get to bed. I have an early shift tomorrow.
/ Marten: Okay, sleep well then. / Faye: Are you sure you're not bummed out about tonight?
/ Marten: Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for caring / Faye: You know, you're a really nice fellow, Marten. You may not have gotten smooches tonight, but I'm sure you will at some point.
/ Marten: Heh, you think? / Faye: Of course! You're so pathetic, some girl is boung to take pity on you eventually! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=236 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Number 237: Frida Was Not Blonde / Panel 2
/ Faye: Well well, look who finally discovered polychromatic clothing! One date with an indie boy and all of a sudden you're out of the mourning garb, eh?
/ Dora: What, am I not allowed to dress a little differently if I feel like it? / Panel 3
/ Faye: It looks nice on you, it's just a rather drastic change. Like if black weren't your natural hair color or something.
/ Dora: It's not, I'm actually a platinum blonde. / Panel 4
/ Faye: If you're a platinum blonde, I'm Frida Kahlo.
/ Dora: I like what you've done with your eyebrow, Frida. Could you tell your husband to stop hitting on me behind your back? http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=237 |
| Number 237: Frida Was Not Blonde | PANEL 1
/ [[Dora is walking to Coffee of Doom]] / PANEL 2
/ Faye: Well well, look who finally discovered polychromatic clothing! One date with an indie boy and all of a sudden your'e out of the mourning garb, eh?
/ Dora: What, am I not allowed to dress a little differently if I feel like it? / PANEL 3
/ Faye: It looks nice on you, it's just a rather drastic change. Like if black weren't your natural hair color or something.
/ Dora: It's not. I'm actually a platinum blonde. / PANEL 4
/ Faye: If you're a platinum blonde, I'm Frida Kahlo.
/ Dora: I like what you've done with your eyebrow, Frida. Could you tell your husband to stop hitting on me behind your back? http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=237 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Turkey1: MAN WHAT IS UP WITH FAYE AND MARTEN ANYWAY
/ Turkey1: I MEAN WHEN ARE THEY JUST GOING TO GET TOGETHER ALREADY, IT IS GETTING RIDICULOUS / Turkey2: WHAT THE HELL, DUDE JUST LET THE STORY HAPPEN AS IT HAPPENS / Turkeys3, 4, 5: OMG DID SOMEBODY MENTION QUESTIONABLE CONTENT??? WE LOVE THAT COMIC! HOBOHLBOHBLHOBLH!
/ [[The moral of the story: Liking QC will get you girls. Or turkeys. Turkey Girls?]] http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=238 |
| Thanksgiving Stupidity: The OMG Turkeys | Panel 1
/ OMG Turkey 1: MAN WHAT IS UP WITH FAYE AND MARTEN ANYWAY I MEAN WHEN ARE THEY JUST GOING TO GET TOGETHER ALREADY, IT IS GETTING RIDICULOUS / Panel 2
/ OMG Turkey 2: WHAT THE HELL, DUDE JUST LET THE STORY HAPPEN AS IT HAPPENS SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL DUDE / Panel 3
/ OMG Turkeys 3-5: OMG DID SOMEBODY MENTION QUESTIONABLE CONTENT??? WE LOVE THAT COMIC! HOBOHLBOHBLHOBLH!
/ Narrator: The moral of the story: Liking QC will get you girls. Or turkeys. Turkey Girls? / HAPPY THANKSGIVING! http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=238 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | Faye: There's no way you're actually a blond. I thought you said you were Italian!
/ Dora: I am. "Bianchi" is a last name often given to people with light hair or fair skin. It runs in the family. / Faye: Why on earth would you dye such a pretty color black?
/ Dora: Duh, dummy. I was doing to whole goth thing, remember? Besides, I like having black hair. It suits me. / Faye: The things some people will do to look morose. Speaking of morosity, how did things go with Marten last night? I though he was the catnip to your pussy-cat.
/ Dora: I like the crude metaphor, but it was a just-friends date, not an "OHMIGOD LET'S MAKE OUT" date. He was a perfect gentleman and I had a very nice time. / Faye: Your story corraborates Marten's. I'm surprised how well-rehearsed you two got on such short noticed.
/ Dora: Oh no. You've seen through our conspiracy. Whatever are we to do. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=239 |
| Number 238: Aliens Shot JFK | Panel 1
/ Faye: There's no way you're actually a blonde. I thought you said you were Italian!
/ Dora: I am. "Bianchi" is a last name often given to people with light hair or fair skin. It runs in the family. / Panel 2
/ Faye: Why on earth would you dye such a pretty color black?
/ Dora: Duh, dummy. I was doing the whole goth thing, remember? Besides, I like having black hair. It suits me. / Panel 3
/ Faye: The things some people will do in order to look morose. Speaking of morosity, what happened with you and Marten last night? I thought he was the catnip to your pussy-cat.
/ Dora: I like the crude metaphor, but it was a just-friends date, not an "OMIGOD LET'S MAKE OUT" date. He was a perfect gentleman and I had a very nice time. / Panel 4
/ Faye: Your story corroborates Marten's. I'm impressed at how well-rehearsed you two got on such short notice.
/ Dora: Oh no. You've seen through our conspiracy. Whatever are we to do.
/ [[Chalkboard: TODAY'S SPECIALS
/ Triple chocolate mocha
/ Triple mocha chocolate
/ spam, spam, spam, mocha, chocolate
/ we stab you so you can call in sick / Please do not poke the barristas]] http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=239 |
| Questionable Content: New comics every Monday through Friday | [[location: Coffee of Doom]]
/ Faye: So back in high school you were a blonde chick who wore colorful clothing? My mind, she is blown.
/ Dora: Well, people change, you know? I bet you were a different person back in the nineties too.
/ Faye: The nineties were a strange time. People thought things like trip-hop, AOL, and that guy from the Prodigy were good ideas.
/ Dora: And in this decade we've had rap-metal, AOL/Time Warner, and those walking Hot Topic billboards in Good Charlotte. Our Culture doesn't get smarter, it just finds new ways of being retarded.
/ Faye: Who do you think would win in a gladiator battle, the ridiculous-looking idiots from the Prodigy, or the ridiculous-looking idiots from Good Charlotte?
/ Dora: Neither! Halfway through the battle, we would release bears into the arena to devour all of them!
/ Faye: Yes! Rampaging bears are the answer to all of our cultural missteps!
/ Dora: Exactly. Paris Hilton? Bear attack. Emo? Bear attack. Reality television? Bear attack. Ann Coulter? Two bear attacks and a swarm of angry locusts. http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=240 |
| Number 240: Ursa Ursa Ursa | PANEL 1
/ Faye: So back in high school you were a blonde chick who wore colorful clothing? My mind, she is blown.
/ Dora: Well, people change, you know? I bet you were a pretty different person back in the nineties too. / PANEL 2
/ Faye: The nineties were a strange time. People thought things like trip-hop, AOL, and that guy from the Prodigy were good ideas.
/ Dora: And in this decade we've had rap-metal, AOL/Time Warner, and those walking Hot Topic billboards in Good Charlotte. Our culture doesn't get smarter, it just finds new ways of being retarded. / PANEL 3
/ Faye: Who do you think would win in a gladiator battle, the ridiculous-looking idiots from the Prodigy, or the ridiculous-looking idiots from Good Charlotte?
/ Dora: Neither! Halfway through the battle, we would release bears into the arena to devour all of them! / PANEL 4
/ Faye: Yes! Rampaging bears are the answer to all of our cultural missteps!
/ Dora: Exactly. Paris Hilton? Bear attack. Emo? Bear attack. Reality television? Bear attack. Ann Coulter? Two bear attacks and a swarm of angry locusts. http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=240 |
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