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show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ] [[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: I knew it, I KNEW IT! You are Soooo dead! / Mike: Ah, there you are. I was wondering if you were hiding or just using the microphone spy thingie. / Marsha: Say your prayer you...! / Mike: Wait, wait! I'm off-limits! We broke up, so I was NOT cheating on you! / Mike: Of course, i... [[Outside]] / Marsha: It's useless Mike! You just can't run forever, you know! I'm gonna GET YOU! / Mike: Not if you get tired first. / Marsha: We'll SEE about that! I'm in better shape than YOU! / Mike: It's not a matter of fitness... / Mike: It soley depends on what is bigger: your rage or my self-preservation... [[Outside]] / Marsha: I can't believe you wanted to get in on with my roommates. I'm never gonna forgive you. / Mile: I wasn't serious, Marsha. You think I'm a total idiot? I knew you were listening! / Marsha: Yeah, right. / Mike: Look, I know you. The moment I become your ex-boyfriend you become my stalker... / Marsha:... [[Outside]] / Mike: You can't be serious! You're breaking up with me and you don't even want to tell me WHY??? / Marsha: Mike, you should know. If you don't know why I'm mad, then you don't know me at ALL. / Mike: That is So UNFAIR! / Marsha: I'm sorry. / Mike: Well, fine. If that's the way you want it. Now I'm... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: Hey girls, check it oooooout! / April: Ooooh! Is that a promise ring? / Marsha: Yep! / Margaret: YES!!! We're poison-free! / Marsha: What? / April: No more cooking for you! Remeber what you said this morning? / Marsha: That bastard son of a squid can forget about me. I'd stop cooking... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: (thought bubbles) What was I doing here, again? / Dave: (thought bubbles) Ah. Oh yeah... / Mike: ZzzZzzZzzZzZ / Dave: (action) FWAP! / Mike: ZzzzMPHHH! / Mike: Isn't it a bit late for Assassination attemps? / Dave: It's 4:00 a.m. Explain: Margaret in leather, requiring you. / Mike: Man, I... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Dave, are you EVER gonna eat that cereal? / Dave: Geez. Well, I happen to LIKE it soggy... / Roger: Hey guys, Diana called. She's back from her trip to see her dad and she says we can pick up our stuff. / Mike: Wha? / Roger: She came to visit while we were gone and noticed the lock... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Back off girl. Marsha and I are together again, so no matter how much you desire me, I'm off-limits. / April: Oh HA. If you're still too dumb to get it, that was a trap to get you and Marsha together. / Mike: Yeah, I know. Heh, at least that's what YOU say. / April: WHAT I SAY???... [[Classroom]] / Dave: *Brrrr* can you feel the EVIL in the air, Roger? The danger? can you feel the impulse to curl up in a ball and suck your thumb? / Roger: WHAT? There are CLOWNS in HERE?! / Dave: clowns? I wish. No, my friend, I'm talking of a much bigger evil... / Roger: then what is it? Cthulhu? Satan?... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Mr. Dover: Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is it. Remember, don't be late for your calculus're gonna need all the time you can get. Heh! Any questions? / Mike: Dave, don't do it. Don't! / Dave: I need to know, Mike. / Mike: Put down your friggin' hand before I break it again! / Mr.... [[Classroom]] / Mike: oh for crying out loud, someone stop him! Roger, you're next to him! Kick him, punch him, strangle him with your tentacle! / Roger: But I don't have a tentacle... / Mike: My God, you're such a pathetic LOSER! / Dave: Miss Kohn? I have a question... / Margaret: (action) POUNCE! / Dave: AGH! / Mike:... [[Hall]] / Dave: Ow! That was arousing, I mean, PAINFUL! What's the amtter with you??? / Margaret: That's not painful. Painful is when you ask a teacher a question and then someone drops a Patriot missile on you! / Mike: Hey Dave, I'm dying to try my new box of tranquilizer darts! Why don't you ask the Algebra... [[Malt Shoppe]] / Roger: So how are your folks? / Diana: Aw, we were so happy to be together, even if it was only for a few days...And how did the fight with the secret society go? / Roger: Ah, it was a trap. We got really stoned and ended up in a motel room. / Diana: Great! / Diana: *sigh* I'm really gonna miss... [[Hall]] / Marsha: I say we SPY on him...I bet he's gonna keep on asking his little questions over the phone! / April: Naaah. He has to do it when Margaret's around! Next time, she might even SIT on his face! / Mike: Now, now. Girls! The guy's had enough. Besides, he's gonna have to study just as much as the... [[Library]] / Dave: Hey, are they cleaning or something? All the books are gone! / April: I'm afraid you're too late, Dave... / Dave: Wha? / April: Yup. The Hoarding Monster was already here. Smell that book you have in your hand. / Dave: Smell?? / April: Just humor me. / Dave: Mmh. Vanilla, coconut and gun powder.... [[Library]] / April: So, how're things going between you and Margaret? / Dave: Erm. April, I'm trying to concentrate here. / April: Oh. That bad. / Dave: No, actually not bad. Neither good. They're just NOT going. / April: Really? I thought you guys were going to give it a try! / Dave: No... we decided that it wouldn't... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: I still don't know how you can study for hours and hours and hours without getting crazy and going into a killing-spree. / Dave: Well, I'm worried. I studied hard in high school and got excellent grades. And I keep studying just as hard, but my grades are now CRAP. / Mike: No, I... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Marsha: Pfft! Mike will do ANYTHING instead of studying... I had to escape through the bathroom window to get away from him! / Margaret: Isn't that supposed to be a good thing? / Marsha: Normally, yeah... but when am *I* supposed to study? / Marsha: Canned corn??? HAH! Since you banned... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Dave. / Dave: Mmh? / Mike: Could you STOP studying for one damn moment? / Dave: Mmwhy? / Mike: First, because you're making me nervous, and second, because you forgot to feed your cat AGAIN. / Dave: What? OH NO! I'm so terrible sorry! / Dave: So, so terribly sorry, Chester... but what did... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: What are you doing in my nightmare? / Dave: This is not your nightmare, it's MY nightmare. I was flunking because of a really stupid question whose answer I studied just a while ago. / Mike: Hey you! How do you wake up from someone else's nightmare? / Roger: You whack them upside... [[Girls' Apartment]] / April: Margaret it's almost midnight. Aren't you going to bed? / Margaret: In a couple minutes / Study Sprite: *Poff* / Margaret: Oh my god what the hell are you? / Study Sprite: I be a study sprite. I help people in their studying. Is what I do. / Margaret: You don't say. Will you excuse... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Dave, have you seen my notebook? I think I misplaced it after the last test. / Dave: The final is tomorrow, and you STILL haven't found your notebook??? / Mike: Mh. Well, nothing to freak about. It's still early. / Dave: Aren't you supposed to be studying? / Mike: Yeah... I'm taking... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: Well, this one is done. Only three more and I'm done with the chapter... / Roger: What? Wrong, you say? / Roger: Oh course I'm using the right formula, I checked it twice! What do you mean, not that kind of problem? / Dave: Maybe you should ask an actual person, instead of woolforbrains? / Roger:... [[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: *blink* / Dave: Wake up! Wake up NOW! Power outage! Alarm clock flashing at 12:00! / Dave: Alarm never went off! / Dave: We won't make it! Wake up, we're late for our final! / Mike: Two questions. Firfst, what are you guys doing in my nightmare, and second, if we're late for the final... [[Boys' Apartment, Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: I hate it when the worst final is the last one... I'm totally burned out. So tired... / Mike: We're going to study with the firls... why don't you come too? / Dave: Naah, can't concentrate... / Mike: Heheh. You know? In a while, when everybody's tired of studying,... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Mike: ZzzZzz / Margaret: Psst! It's your turn! / Roger: Ohboyohboy! / Roger: *Ahem* Violation of rule number one of the Honor Code. I'm authorized by the All-Nighter Society to apply the proper punishment. / Mike: ZzzZzz / Roger: Bombs AWAY! / Mike: Yeek! / Margaret: Hey Mike! Say "FREEZE!" / Camera:... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Mike: Oh No. Not way. Not now! / Marsha: What? / Mike: I feel like I'm coming down with a cold. All that damn ice down my shirt... / Marsha: We have some stuff for that in the bathroom. Serve yourself. / Label: Warning: May cause amnesia, drowsiness, asthma, pregnancy, athlete's foot, heart... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: This is useless. / April: What? / Dave: I'm too tired. Any knowledge I acquire now bounces right out. / Mike: Why don't you have some of my tachycardia-inducing coffee? / Dave: Thanks, but I'm not sleepy... I'm just too tired to think. / Mike: You know what we need? We need to shut down... [[Girls' Apartment]] / Dave: Mike, that's an incredibly bad idea. Go dancing the night before the calculus final? You're crazy! / Mike: Crazy? Ba-pssch. When did you get your PhD in psychiatrics? Hey, what do the rest of you guys think? / Marsha: I could use some distraction... / Roger: It makes sense. If we... [[Street]] / Marsha: So, who did you blackmail this time to get the car, honey? / Mike: Not in the mood for blackmail... but if you give Frank "Teletubbie" a stack of porn and a six-pack he'll be distracted enough to not notice you stole his car keys. / Dave: There's too many people waiting outside! We're...

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