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|College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 23, 2005||[[In the guys' apartment. Both of Dave's wrists are bandaged]] / Mike: What's with the bandages? / Dave: Oh, nothing. The Universe, emphasizing once more just how much it hates me. / Mike: I swear to Cthulhu, Dave, you're a walking and babbling accident. What happened to you this time? / Dave: Well,...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 26, 2005||[[Marsha and Margaret are outside the guys' apartment.]] / Margaret: This is COMPLETELY useless. / Marsha: Silence, woman! Mike? Hey Mike, is Dave home? Margaret wants to have a little chat with him! / [[Inside the apartment.]] / Dave: Hell no. Don't open that door, Mike. I don't want to talk to her,...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 27, 2005||[[Mike has let Marsha and Margaret in]] / Marsha: DON'T lie, Mike. Where is Dave? / Mike: He's not here. Haven't seen him in a while. / Marsha: Define "here" and "a while." / Mike: This cubic meter. Ten seconds. / Margaret: Look, if he doesn't want to see me... / Marsha: Hold it there. So, WHERE is he? / Mike:...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 28, 2005||[[Guys' apartment, inside the closet.]] / Dave: So you don't know what you're doing here. Is there SOMETHING you know? / Margaret: Look. I wanted to say I'm sorry. That's all. / Dave: For WHAT? / Margaret: I don't know! I don't know why you ALWAYS get mad at me! / Roger: He just takes things too seriously,...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - September 29, 2005||[[Inside the closet.]] / Dave: Ugh. Okay, I'm sorry I yelled at you. Please don't cry. / Margaret: *sniff* Don't worry. It's just... this has not been a good day. / Dave: Uh? Why? What happened? / Margaret: Oh, I saw Roger's sister on the hall. And I realized... I haven't apologized. And I have to... / Roger:...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - October 3, 2005||[[Outside the closet. Mike carries Marsha]] / Mike: Well, everybody's in the closet. Up for a game while we wait for Lily? / Marsha: Game? Heheh. Isn't your pirate hat in the wash, dear? / Mike: Bah. I still have my SWORD. / Marsha: Arrrr. Pillage and plunder away, matey! / Mike: Yeah, I'm the deadliest...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - October 4, 2005||[[Inside the closet]] / Dave: I DEMAND to know what's that you're talking about. / Margaret: Don't you DARE, Roger. You'll regret it. / Roger: Fine. We'll BOTH keep our mouth shut. See? Everybody happy! / Waldo: I'm not happy. / Steve: Me neither. / Dave: You guys don't count. / Waldo: Aaaw... / Dave:...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - October 5, 2005||[[Inside the closet.]] / Dave: I can't believe it. / Roger: LIES! Lying LIAR! She loves you, that's why she's LYING! / Margaret: Nope. / Dave: I do NOT BELIEVE THIS!!! / Roger: You shouldn't, because she's a LIAR! / [[Dave's eyes begin to glow, an eerie blue light in the blackness of the closet]] / Dave:...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - October 6, 2005||[[Outside the closet, Mike helps Marsha to her feet]] / Marsha: Jesus! Mike, what gives??? / Mike: SHHHH! Marsha, my Mom is outside! / Marsha: So what? Open the door! / Mike: Are you CRAZY? I don't want her to see my place, me, and even less YOU! / Marsha: Mike, this is ridiculous! We just got engaged....|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Hallway, outside the guys' apartment. Hazel Green stands at the door. April approaches]] / Hazel: Excuse me, do you know Michael Green? / April: Sure, I live next door. / Hazel: Do you know if he's home? I heard some noise inside, but nobody's opening the door... / April: Maybe he didn't hear you. ...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - October 10, 2005||[[Inside the closet.]] / Dave: Oof! Wait! You guys are CRUSHING me! / Marsha: If Margaret and Dave solved their issues, they could get out... / Margaret: Dave AND Roger hate me now, Marsha. THANK YOU so very much. / Roger: Yes I hate your LYING teeth. And the rest of you too. / Steve: The rest of her...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - October 11, 2005||[[Inside the closet.]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - October 12, 2005||[[Outside the closet. The closet door has burst off its hinges, and everyone is in a monkey-pile on the floor. Hazel stands, looking down at the pile. Diana has just walked in.]] / Diana: What kind of FILTHY DEPRAVATION is THIS??? / Roger: Diana, babe! It's NOT what it looks like! / Diana: More importantly,...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - October 13, 2005||[[The human debris has been tidied away]] / Mike: Before you drag me to the Maximum Fun Chamber, Ma, I want to say we were not doing anything in there. We were just hiding to play a prank on someone... / Hazel: Very well, Michael. I don't care what you do if you're only having fun. It's when you take...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - October 14, 2005||Mike: Geez, Ma. There was no need to come all the way here to tell me this, you know.
/ Hazel: I'm your mother, Michael. I just wanted to see if you were okay.
/ Mike: No need to worry, Ma. I'm always okay, unless I'm dead.
/ [[Hazel's cell phone rings]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Mike stares, stunned, into the middle distance. Hazel leaves]] / [[Mike continues to stare, stunned]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - October 18, 2005||[[Mike is on the phone, gathering his bungee gear.]] / Mike: Roger! Roger, get Marsha! / Roger: [[through phone]] She's changing. / Mike: ACK! Okay, man, I need you to go out RIGHT now and distract my mother! I don't care how! / Roger: [[through phone]] Me??? I'd laugh if I wasn't so pissed. / Mike:...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Dave buries his head in the bed]] / Margaret: I don't understand you at ALL! You said you were over me! What are you so angry about? Besides, it all happened so fast... / Dave: I don't want to hear this! I don't want to hear ANYTHING! And even less from YOU! / Margaret: Well, it was YOU who asked!...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives 24/10/05||[[Margaret presents Dave with a sandwich]] / Margaret: Here's your stupid sandwich. / Dave: Hey, there's no need to be rude. What, no fries on the side? / Margaret: No, but how about I stick a whole potato down your throat? / Dave: I swear, I don't even know what the Hell I saw in you. / Margaret: When...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives 25/10/05||Margaret: Really, I don't know what the big deal is. You and Blue are schtoinking, so what? I do whatever I want, so get off my face.
/ Margaret: Besides, I just offered you some, and you declined! So...
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - October 31, 2005||[[Outside the apartment. Mike (wearing bungee gear) is holding himself, upside down, on a pole. A cop calls from beneath him]] / Earl: [[off-panel]] Hey, kid, get down here! I'm gonna give you a ticket! / Mike: The HELL??? Why? / Earl: [[off-panel]] Illegal parking! / Mike: I don't have a vehicle. / Earl:...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - November 1, 2005||[[Mike knocks on the window of a limo parked outside his apartment]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - November 2, 2005||Tyler: Look, Mike, don't give me an excuse to kick your ass. Mom is here to see you. She's not here, so how so I know you're not trying to steal the van to escape from her? So BEAT IT. / Mike: [[backing away]] Pssch! All right, Ty, I believe you! I'll back off... There's no NEED to get VIOLENT! / Mike:...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - November 3, 2005||[[Mike has opened the door to the Green limo and is looking in.]] / Mike: All right, this is IT! / Mike: Unhand my girlfriend, you villains, or I'll bitch-slap you with my mighty... wait... / [[Two of Hazel's thugs are in the back seat playing Halo. There are zero females in sight.]] / Thug #1: Sheesh,...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - November 4, 2005||[[In Margaret's bedroom]] / Dave: In the end, I keep wondering if we have ever been friends at all. You never accept any help, you never tell me what troubles you, and you ALWAYS lie to me. / Margaret: Dave? Don't get me started. / Dave: Oh, PLEASE. / Margaret: You're a huge hypocrite. You get angry because...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - November 7, 2005||Margaret: Yeah, I do love you. Happy now? / Dave: Happy. You think I'm happy. / Margaret: Well, isn't that what you wanted? I'm telling the truth. I'm talking about my stupid feelings. There. / Dave: Hhh...hhh. Hhhhh...hhhh... / Margaret: Stop hyperventalating, Dave. Dammit. / Dave: hhh.... / Dave:...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - November 8, 2005||[[Inside her apartment, Marsha talks to Lanolin]] / Marsha: Well, I have no idea why Mike wants me to keep you here, but I guess it's a good thing we don't have rugs. / Marsha: I wonder what you guys eat? / Marsha: I don't have any grass. How about carrots? Lettuce? / [[Marsha gives Lanolin the manga-eyes.]] / Marsha:...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - November 9, 2005||[[Outside the apartments. Tyler has beaten Mike a few times, and is preparing to continue]] / Mike: You know Ty, you really should stop beating me. / Tyler: Gimme a GOOD reason. / Mike: Let's see... uh... yeah, purple sheep about to fall on you? / Tyler: Gods, you're not even trying anymore, huh, Mike? / [[Lanolin...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - November 10, 2005||[[The apartment building stairs. April is sitting on the steps, crying.]] / Mike: So, THERE you are. Are you okay? Physically, at least. / April: Y-yeah. What... what happened to you? / Mike: What do YOU think, April? Really. Take a wild guess. / April: I... got you beaten up again? / Mike: Wow, hole...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! - November 11, 2005||[[The apartment building stairs. April and Mike are sitting on the steps, April weeps. Mike bleeds]] / April: I told her... them, I told them I lied. But they didn't believe me. / Mike: Figures. But I still don't understand why you did that. / April: I don't know, Mike. Honestly. I have no idea. / Mike:...|
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