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College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, January 31, 2007 [[On the beach. Dave and Margaret continue their talk]] / Dave: Let's suppose for a moment that I do *snirfl* / Dave: What the Hell good would do me to acknowledge it? / Margaret: Well. If you know you do, at least you can make a choice? / Dave: I already MADE a choice. And YOU said you didn't want a...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, February 2, 2007 [[A quiet room, away from the party]] / Mike: Close the door behind you, April. / April: [[grinning lasciviously]] As you wiiiish. / Mike: And wipe that goddamn smug smile off your face. I feel guilty enough already. / April: Guilty, you??? Psssch. / Mike: Do you think this makes me happy? Do I LOOK happy...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, February 5, 2007 [[On the beach]] / Margaret: That was a good-bye, kiss, wasn't it? / Dave: It... sure felt like one. / Margaret: You should go back to the party. Blue's gonna think I buried you upside-down in the sand, or something. / Dave: You're probably right. What about you? / Margaret: I think I'll stay for a little...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, February 7, 2007 [[A quiet room away from the party. April clings to Mike as they come up for air]] / April: W... wow. That, that was... / Mike: Shh. / Mike: April. / Mike: Do you love me? / April: Yes / [[A forked tongue flicks across Mike's lips]] / Mike: [[in Satan's voice]] GOOD.
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, February 9, 2007 [[Back in the party. Mike's Dad is on the phone]] / Tyler: [[through the phone]] Harry, what the HELL??? / Harry: Let me guess. Mike somehow played you and he ran away. / Tyler: [[through the phone]] Mike never got here! Who is the redheaded guy, and can we kill him? / Harry: Redhead??? Huh. Nah, let...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, February 12, 2007 [[Dave surveys the party]] / Dave: [[thinking]] Where is Blue? I can't see her anywhere! / Dave: [[thinking]] I hope she wasn't so upset she just left the party and went to her room. / Dave: [[thinking]] Also, because I'm starving and if I start eating without her I'll look like an ass. / Harry: [[off-panel]]...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, February 14, 2007 {{Better Safe for Work than sorry, folks.}} / [[A quiet room away from the party. Mike and April are alone here. The lighting is subdued, clothing has been loosened; Mike stands close behind April. Very very close indeed]] / Mike: [[perspiring]] <> / April: Hff... whew! / April: Baby, that...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, February 16, 2007 [[April readjusts her clothing. Mike, putting his jacket back on, stares hopelessly at April]] / April: What's the matter? Uh, wasn't it...? I mean. / April: Oh God. Mike? Don't look at me like that... / April: Mike! / April: WAIT! / [[April is left alone, her clothing in disarray]] / April: I... I...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, February 19, 2007 [[In a corridor away from the party, Mike's Dad follows Dave]] / Harry: Well, we're... wait. Kid, did you go out or something? / Dave: Uh, yeah. I still have sand all over the suit, don't I? / Harry: Nuh, you got... Look, just stand still for a moment... / [[Dave clutches at the stinging on the back...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, February 21, 2007 [[Back at the party, Roger has fingernail-slap marks on his cheek]] / Roger: So yeah, Mike's an ass. He didn't bother pointing out that fire was painful, and I had to attempt to snatch the dress off my girlfriend without a distraction. / Samuel L. Jackson: Yeah, I know what you mean. That's too bad,...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, February 23, 2007 [[Mike is on the beach]] / Mike: Hhhffwhathfff what / Mike: WHAT the hell happened? What did I DO??? Why? / Mike: I'm gonna... ugh. This is not happening. Am I going crazy again? Is that it? / Satan: Relax, Mike. You're killing the afterglow. / Mike: !!! / [[Satan offers him a pack of cigarettes]] / Satan:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, February 26, 2007 [[Darkness]] / Mike: Oh. NO. NO you DIDN'T. / Satan: Didn't I? Heh. / Mike: Absolutely not. Just... NO. / Satan: Oh, I don't have a problem with that. I don't require you to believe anything. I'm cool that way. / Mike: This was not supposed to happen. Not like this. / Satan: [[lighting his cigarette...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, February 28, 2007 Mike: I can't believe you played me like that. I can't. / Satan: I believe the word is "PWND". / Mike: So this is it? You got what you wanted, now you can claim me? / Satan: Nah, I'm pretty much done with you. Go on with your little life. Or kill yourself, I don't really care. / Mike: No, I think I...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, March 5, 2007 [[Mike swings his tentacle at Satan]] / Mike: Eat THAT, you son of... uh? / [[His tentacle swings through empty air]] / <> / Satan: [[off-panel]] Heh. Gonna have to be faster than THAT. / Mike: Oh, how cute. I guess it's freaking teleporting cheater week, isn't it? / Satan: Uh-HUH. Wait, I feel...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, March 9, 2007 [[Satan's point-of-view: Mike throws a straight right]] / [[Mike uppercuts Satan with his tentacle]] / [[Mike follows-through on a right cross, looking slightly worried. Satan vanishes and teleports behind him]] / [[Satan snarls at Mike. Blue lightning bolts flicker from Satan's hand to his other...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, March 12, 2007 Devil: Hmmh. Not bad for a mortal, Mike. Not bad at all. / Devil: But who do you think Waldo and Steve learned hat trick from? / Devil: I guess you've tasted it before...but they're like little babies. Little ugly incompetent babies. / Devil: Spontaneous combustion is also fun, but nothing can beat the...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, March 16, 2007 [[Mike's Dad wanders through the party]] / Harry: [[thinking]] Damn. Mike is nowhere to be seen... did he leave? I'm gonna have to abort the whole thing if I can't find him! / Harry: [[thinking]] Anyway, I have to check up on the guy in the maintenance closet... time for another dose. / [[Harry opens...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, March 19, 2007 Harry: OOOOoOOOH no, NO YOU DIDN'T!!! / Blue: DAAAAAD! You're embarrassing meeeee! Come-ON! / Dave: Yeah, man. That's just NOT cool. I mean, drugging me and locking me in a closet is one thing... / Harry: I find you in a closet. With your BROTHER's boyfriend. And *I* am embarrassing you??? / Blue:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, March 21, 2007 Blue: Look... Pa, I can explain it all. Put the gun down before you hurt someone! Calm down and hey, hey PA WAIT! WAIT!!! / Harry: Killin' now explaining later! Eat LEAD, you double GIGOLO! / [[Dave ducks as Harry pulls the trigger]] / <> / Dave: I KNEW the night would end like THIS! / [[Dave shoots...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, March 23, 2007 [[April is leaning on the balcony, watching the ocean]] / Paul: [[off-panel]] Hey, pretty lady. / Paul: [[off-panel]] What are you doing here all by yourself? / April: <> / April: <<*hic*>> / [[Paul approaches. He has a black eye]] / April: Get'ng toasted as FASSST ash I *hic* can. Uuuh, whas wid...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, March 26, 2007 [[Mike's Point-of-View: A blurry Margaret is slapping his face]] / Margaret: Hey! HEY, Mike, you stupid MORON! / Margaret: BREATHE! / Margaret: C'mon, breathe, godammit! / <> / <> / <> / [[Mike is lying on the ground, semi-comatose and in pain. Margaret sits on him]] / Mike: Ooowww......
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, March 28, 2007 Margaret: So what happened here, Mike? I saw a light show and found you like this... / Mike: Ugh. Short story is, Satan curb stomped me. In EVERY possible sense. / Margaret: What?! He was HERE??? I thought you said that he couldn't show up unless he was summoned! / Mike: Wellll.... I might be a special...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, April 2, 2007 April: <> Hic! / April: Blargh... / <> / April: Uh? / April: OH. / Marsha: <>
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, April 4, 2007 Marsha: Hey, April. Nice dress. REALLY nice dress. / April: Uuuuh... really LONG knife, Marsha. / Marsha: I got it from the hotel kitchen. I hope you like it. / April: Nnnnot really... / Marsha: Oh, too bad. Because you two are going to have a relationship. / April: AAAARRRGH! Wait, wait! Can't we talk about...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, April 6, 2007 [[Tyler and another of the Green thugs carry Harry Green's pasty-faced, limp body down a corridor. Blue runs alongside. Dave trots after them, worried]] / Dave: I'm really really really really sorry! I didn't mean to do it! But he was shooting at me, and seriously, who would have THOUGHT that a guy...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, April 9, 2007 [[Dave helps Blue up into the helicopter]] / Dave: HEY!!! What the Hell??? I'm going too! / Voice from inside helicopter: Sorry, you don't fit! And you NEVER will! HAHAHAHA! / [[somebody boots Dave away with a foot]] / Dave: ... / [[The Helicopter begins to fly away]]
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, April 11, 2007 Marsha: Ironic. Doctors were wrong. People WERE out to get me. / April: UGH! Okay, okay! I'm sorry! I'll stay away from Mike, I promise! / Marsha: Deja. Vu. April. / April: So, so what? What do you want from me? / Marsha: I just want to know why, April. That's it. / April: You're asking me why??? Are you...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, April 13, 2007 [[Marsha, the knife still in her right hand, slaps April with the braid which April has, until a few moments ago, been wearing.]] / <> / April: <> / [[Marsha drops the knife, which embeds, point-down, in the floor. April clutches her slapped cheek with one hand and stares, shocked, at the...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, April 16, 2007 [[Back at the party, Roger is being advised...]] / Christopher Walken: Okay, pal, listen up. There's two things you need to know about love. The first is that no matter what you do, you're f<>d. The second is that right now I'd love it if you just got the hell outta my face. So here's the...
College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, April 18, 2007 Margaret: [[holding up a roll of bills]] Pssch. Sorry. Look, I just wanted to give you your money, that's all. / Roger: [[snatching it]] Money GIMME. Wait, what money? / Margaret: Oh, you know... for your "SERVICES". / Roger: My what??? / Margaret: Oh, you know. Back in the woods. Is this awkward? ...
 

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