You're browsing the archives of College Roomies From Hell.
You can search these comics too.

show: [ show full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]

College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is counting coins]] / Dave [[thinks]]: Four, five, six, seven... DAMMIT. Okay, I'll do it again. One, two, three, four... / [[Dave has gone to Margaret's room]] / Dave: Heyyy Margaret... Listen, I can't afford an apartment by myself, and the whole roomie-looking experience is scary... Do you,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is still talking to Margaret about moving in]] / Dave: Right, so you got yourself a roommate. I suppose you think you're a tough chick because of it, huh? / Margaret: Hahah! Well, actually, I guess he should be YOUR roommate, because you found him first? / Dave: So Roger moved in with you? Traitor. / Margaret:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is on the phone to Roger.]] / Roger: Hey Dave, Umm, I'm in the middle of something important, so if you don't mind... / Dave: Shut up and listen, man. I'm REALLY worried about Margaret. I think she's gone off the deep end. For REALS. / Roger: Your noticing that NOW??? / Dave: I'm serious! I think...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is on the phone]] / Dave: Yeah, yeah, I get it. It's not about me, but I really do not need this right now! Did you know there are cobwebs in the fridge? / Roger: Let me guess. You still don't have a roommate. / Dave: Well I had one, until he BETRAYED me to join a pack or whatever! / Roger: Nice...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is seeing if he can room with Diana and Paul.]] / Dave: Hey guys,... Say, I'm roomie-less... I was wondering, if you guys have a bit of space, or know of someone who does? / Paul: Heh! No opposition here. The more the merrier, that's my motto! / Dave: Okay ... wait, are you cooking? That smells......
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is interviewing for roomies. The first is Scott Pilgrim]] / Scott Pilgrim: Wow man, you live in a palace! Could I move in today? Also, could you cover my rent this month? I'll pay you back later. / Scott Pilgrim: No I won't. / [[The second applicant has spiky orange hair and stars planted on...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is on the phone.]] / Dave: WHAT? Oh, it's you. / Blue: Well that's what I call a welcome. / Dave: Ugh, sorry, babe. I just had a really bad day and my head hurts. / Blue: Oh no. Your lasers again? / Dave: No. Unrelated. Or maybe not. It's just the roommate thing. It's driving me crazy. / [[Blue...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is looking under the couch with a flashlight.]] / Dave [[thinks]]: There has to be something edible around here. Hello, what are you? / [[Dave has a big grin on his face.]] / Dave [[thinks]]: WOOT! Dead Frog Burger free meal coupon! / Dave [[thinks]]: Is it expired. Please tell me it's not expired! / [[Dave...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is at the Dead Frog fast-food restaurant. The line is extensive.]] / Dave: AAAH! / Dave: Goddammit, there's like a million people in line! What is this, free crappy breakfast coupon day? / Dave: OK, doesn't matter, if I get in time and... OMIGOD, THE STUPID COUPON! / [[Dave rushes back to his...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave has gone to the fast-food restaurant. We see the people ahead...]] / Server: So, what toy for the kiddy box? We have Power Dangers. / Mother: Uhuh... Drew, which one do you want? / Drew: I want the red one. / Server: Sorry, we don't have the red ones. / Mother: Okay, how about a blue one? Do you...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave has finally got to the head of the queue at the Dead Frog fast food restaurant.]] / Fast Food Clerk: I'm sorry, sir. We stopped serving breakfast 10 minutes ago. / Dave: What??? I've been in this line for forty minutes!!! You can't treat people like this! / Fast Food Clerk: Sorry. The manager...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[The mystery voice is shown to belong to Dr. Dover, Dave's calculus professor.]] / Dave: Uuh... Mr. Dover! I was just going home forever, and... / Mr. Dover: Sure yeah! But first, give me a hand with those sodas will you? They're about to fall over! / Dave: Blargh! Okay. / [[Mr. Dover sits down.]] / Mr....
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dr. Dover has shared his breakfast with Dave, they are in the Dead Frog fast food restaurant.]] / Mr. Dover: How's it going? Pretty bad I imagine... / Dave: Well. We're coping. He was never a good roommate, in fact, he was worse than Hitler, but still. The death of someone who's relatively close... / Dave:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Mr. Dover has treated Dave to a free meal, but now they are talking...] / Mr. Dover: Dave, there's no need to lie. Look, I know about Roger and his terminal illness... / Dave: Wha? That's ridiculous! The dork is healthier than me, which is not a lot, but still...! / Mr. Dover: And about those fits...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is talking to Mr. Dover at a fast-food restaurant.]] / Mr. Dover: Well, THAT killed my appetite. You guys are soooo flunked, so let the others know. / Dave: ARGHWaitasecond, Mr. Dover, that's not fair. / Mr. Dover: Stop following me around or I'll ask the Dean to expel you all. / Dave: *WHIIIIINE*...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is on the phone to Blue]] / Dave: You're almost here? Okay, I'll wait for you by the elevator. Yeah, me too. 'Bye. / [[Dave goes to the elevator.]] / Dave [[thinks]]: Okay, don't get nervous... We'll deal with this, and maybe she'll actually be happy or something... But no matter what you...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is sitting on the sofa next to Blue.]] / Blue: Jesus Dave, what happened??? Calm down! Deep breath... / Dave: ThathathaTHAT'S IT. I'm going home, s-s-screw this CRAP. I don't need it. To hell with college, I'm f-f-flunking anyway... / Blue: Are you serious??? The foaming and writhing was bad,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[In the hall.]] / Dave: *SIGH* Blue, I'm gonna tell you why I was freaking out. But remember, it's not my fault, okay? So if you feel yourself getting angry at me, do that thing where you picture me naked or something. / Blue: Wellll, why don't you take off your clothes, then? I mean, so I can picture...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave blushes seeing Margaret has just overheard his last comment to Blue.]] / Margaret: Um... Okay. Do I want to know what was really that about? / Dave: No! I mean, it's nothing! We were just... She's just pissed because she thinks I'm making up stuff... / Margaret: Let me guess, it's about her bro? / Dave:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Margaret : Wait out of there, I'll bring him up fot ya... / Blue : This is so stupid and I am so pissy and how could you guys think this would be funny, I'm seriously gonna punch somebody really soon and... / Dave : Baby don't get mad at me ! This is not my fault ! I didn't tell you sooner because...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave, Blue, Zombie Mike and Margaret are in the hallway of the apartment building. Blue is happy, while Dave looks displeased.]] / Blue: This is marvelous! How did this happen? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Okay, so I didn't believe you guys, so why didn't you just SHOW me sooner??? / Margaret: I told...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Blue and Margaret are talking to each other in the hallway, with Zombie Mike having vanished somewhere.]] / Blue: Well, I guess you got him stuff, right? Since I'm here, I can help you move it all back to Dave's apartment at once! / Margaret: Wait a second, J-Lo wannabe, what do you mean Mike's going...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[someone or something out of frame]] CRASH !! / Blue : Geez, just calm down...My God, Dave, are you BLEEDING ??? / Margaret: Nice going, sport. Go lie down with a wet rag on your forehead or something. Gotta check on Mike. / Dave : What ? Aw, crud... / Blue : Damn, is this about your lasers again...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Dave : Look, Blue...I have been trying to get myself under control lately and it's working at least a little bit. I should do it anyway... / Blue : So you get blinding headaches and nosebleed but it's OKAY because you are not mad anymore ? / Dave : I'm just saying it's not that bad. And maybe it WILL...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Hazel: HUH! Well, young lady! What do you THINK you're doing??? Am I gonna have to mark my bottles, now? / Blue: Mom, I'm not a baby. I can have a glass of wine now and then. / Hazel: Supervised, maybe. I don't like this "drinking alone" business. You're too young and you'll get toasted in no time. / Blue:...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Blue: So Ma, what's the anchor to undo Dave's conditioning? Because you DID use one, right? That's what you always do. / Hazel: Wassa? Oh, isss "Ludovico". / Blue: So I was right. You pavloved him so he feels pain when he uses his lasers. You want him to be defenseless when you decide to kill him, right? / Hazel:...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Hazel: Buh... thatsssa handy-cap. Sooo Vernon's lil' helpersss are wurkng on it? A-HUM.. / Blue: for his laser-powered army, I'd expect. / Hazel: Well, YAAAAWN, ifff yer boytoy livesss and you're both really RRREALLY good, mebbe we'll ssshare the cure with ya. / Blue: Wow Ma, I'm shocked you guys are SOOO...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is lying on his bed, holding his head and talking on the phone to Blue. Chester is snuggled up next to him.]] / Dave: Eh, pretty good, considering. / Blue: [[through the phone]] "Considering?" / Dave: I mean... nosebleed stopped, headache is better. Yay! / Blue: [[through the phone]] Okay. Listen,...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Blue attending her horse speaking in her cellphone headset]] / Margaret: Margaret here. / Blue: Ummm it's Blue. / Margaret: Ok, I'm gonna hang up now. / Blue: Hey... Look, I wanted to apologize. It wasnt really a cool thing to do. / Margaret: Well, I can live without your apologies. I'm busy so if that...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[David is filling out a form when theres a knock on the door]] / Form: does it inconvenience you to mingle closely with asorted bodily fluids from random strangers? No or No? / David: Seriously, man. -EEEW- / Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock / [[David shouts in the direction of the door]] / David: GODDAMN...
 

Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40
41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60
61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80
81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 >>