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[[Classroom]] / Professor: One last thing, ladies and gentlemen... / Professor: As you know, we're bombing Iraq. Now and then a missile loses its way... / Professor: And you sure remember the effects of radiation on people within the explosion area... / Professor: And you sure remember the big KABOOM we heard a while ago... / Roger: Hey, can we go now? / Mike: Gulp! / {{Part of the "It all Started when..." storyline}} |
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[[Classroom]] / Mike: Are you trying to say we're all gonna suffer a slow, painful death due to a lost missile formerly destinated to Saddam??? / Roger: WHAT? / Professor: In fact, I was just kidding. So you see, there are lots of things worse... / Professor: ...than the gas leak that blew out the dorm area. By the way, if you want to identify the rest of your clothes, you better start right now. / Roger: Okay, so it was a joke. Can we go NOW? / {{Part of the "It all Started when..." storyline}} |
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[[Outside]] / Mike: Geez! What a DISASTER! / Mike: So we lost a lot of stuff and we are gonna sleep in cardboard boxes, but at least nobody got hurt... / Roger: Hey you! You're Mike Green, right? I got your Winnie the Pooh undies!! / Mike: Just till now... / {{Part of the "It all Started when..." storyline}} |
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[[Outside]] / Roger: I believe these are yours. HEE-hee! / Mike: Thanks, pal. By the way, do you believe in hypnosis? / Mike: 'cause if you do, I could say: "Hey, look at my finger! Now you are gonna forget all that undies stuff..." / Mike: and if you don't, I'd have to hit you SO HARD, you'd forget everything but your childhood memories... / Mike: So. Do you believe in hypnosis? / Roger: No, but I DO believe in extreme violence... Hey! Where am I? Last thing I remember is lunch! / {{Part of the "It all Started when..." storyline}} |
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[[Hall]] / Mike: I'm fine, Ma. I wasn't even near when the whole thing exploded... Homeless? Don't say that, we just don't have a place to stay right now. / Mike: I think they're arranging something with the apartment buildings of the area. Right, all my clothes were blown away. / Mike: Stop saying that! I'm not naked in the middle of the street! Why do you have to be SO APOCALYPTIC? / Sign: List of places available GO GET 'EM! / {{Part of the "It all Started when..." storyline}} |
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[[Hall]] / Mike: What do you mean, it's too late? All the rooms are taken? / Dave: Right. I was in the cafeteria at the same time. / Mike: All riiight! And what the heck are we supposed to do now? / Dave: We'll have to choose a room occupied but not full. / Mike: Wait! But that means... / Dave: I'll wonder all my life if that twinky was worth sharing my life with the campus FREAKS! / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Mike: First try... / Mike: Hi! I'm Mike Green, I still don't have a room and I... / Ray: Sure, maaaan. Come in. / Mike: What's THAT music?? It makes my hair stand on end!! / Ray: Hindu music, maaan. Helps me to stay in tuuuune... / Mike: WHOA! I think I'm seeing THINGS! / Ray: So you're in tune, maaaaan! / Wall: IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU ARE STONED / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Mike: Ok. So first try wasn't that hot. But this time... / Psycho Roomie 1: The TOP drawer is MINE!!!!! / Psycho Roomie 2: We'll see about THAT! / Psycho Roomie 1: Oh yeah??? / Psycho Roomie 2: YEAH!!! / Psycho Roomie 1: OOOOW! Leggo! Help! Help! Call 911! Oh, the humanity! / Background: SCREECH! BOOM! GAAH! crash! POW!! splerggh THUD / Psycho Roomie 2: I'm warning you... put down that knife! / Psycho Roomie 1: You first! / Mike: Maybe next time... / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Mike: Maybe I'm being too picky. Maybe I should try to be more understanding. / Mike: Hi! I'm Mike Green. I was wondering... / Steve: Looking for a place to stay, uh? Well, you are here just in time! / Mike: Nice decoration! Black candles... Uh, say... is that a pentacle? / Steve: We're makin' a little "new home" ritual... Waldo! the blood donor is here! / Waldo: GREAT! / Mike: Uh... maybe I should consider moving to Australia... / Steve: Hey! Get back here, you selfish, unconsiderate person! We already summoned the Prince of Darkness! / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Mike: The last room... My last chance to live with normal people... / Mike: I can't look! / Mike, Roger: Oh, just GREAT! / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Apartment Hall]] / Roger: Uh, listen Mike. We're already out of room here. Dave just moved in... / Mike: Right. That's TWO people. There's still room for another. / Roger: Oh. Well, the other guy is... ummm.. Ray. The hippie... you know him, right? / Mike: Ha! You liar! I just saw him! He's living in the building across the street! / Roger: That must have been his astral body... don't go in there! / Mike: Nice try, buster. / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: Really, Mike. I don't think you're gonna like this place... / Mike: Hey. I'll decide if I like it or not, okay? / Roger: But we have termites! Noisy neighbors! Bad plumbing! / Mike: Hi Dave! Tell me, is this place THAT bad? / Dave: It's WORSE. He snores big time. / Roger: Right! In four keys! Stacatto or allegro vivace, your choice. / Mike: Bummer. I'll have to think about it. / Dave: But I still prefer him over the satanic blood suckers! / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: Listen, Dave, we just can't let Mike move in here! / Dave: Why not? / Roger: Are you kidding? The guy's a PSYCHO! He'll want to RULE our lives! For the sake of freedom we have to SCARE HIM OFF!!! / Dave: And how, exactly are we going to do that? / Dave: Now I AM scared!! / Roger: If George Washington wore tights, we shall do what it takes to protect the American whatever! / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: I can't believe I'm doing this... / Mike: Sooo... are you Roger's little sister? My, you are just like him, but a whole lot better looking! / Roger: Ok. Back to the ol' drawing board. / Dave: That's it. I'm OUTTA here!! / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: My God. What a day! But at least I finally found a place to stay, I guess... / Roger: Exactly WHAT are you doing? / Dave: Removing your accordion solo CDs from the top drawer! / Roger: Wait. Is that Marilyn Manson? / Mike: If I jump off from here, would that be enough to kill myself, or just to break a few bones? / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: I wonder why Roger doesn't want Mike to be our roomate. / Dave: He seems like a normal guy, doesn't he? Nothing weird about him. Or at least that's what I have seen... / Dave: Could it be that Mike has a hidden DARK SIDE? Could it be that he's really a psycho just waiting to...? / Mike: Could you just STOP STARING AT ME??? / Dave: ...explode? / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Dave, I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's been one helluva week... / Dave: No sweat, Mike. I have my temper tantrums, too. / Mike: Really? What do you do? / Dave: Oh, you know. I kick things and stuff. You wouldn't like to see. / Roger: Of course you wouldn't! He's pathetic! He kicks things... right! His SOCCER BALL! He also chews his leather belt... / Dave: Unfortunately for Roger I lost both things in the explosion. So Mike, you better take a stroll, you won't like to see this... / {{Part of the "The whole freakin' fauna" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: It's pretty late... I think I'm going to bed. / Dave: There's still a problem... we're three guys for two beds! / Mike: That ain't a problem. We have a bathtub, remember? / Dave: Right. And who's gonna sleep in the bathtub? / Roger: YOU'LL SEE! Someday we members of the silent minority will be HEARD! / Dave: Yes. But you are a snoring minority. / Mike: Now, shut up or you gonna sleep in the toilet! / {{Part of the "Sleeping in the Tub" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: You know what sleeping in a bathtub is, Pepe? / Roger: Sleeping in a bathtub is waking at 4:00 a.m. when some sleepy roomie misses the toilet and pees all over your face. / Roger: You can never take too many precautions with that. / Wall: TOILET THAT WAY THIS IS IT / {{Part of the "Sleeping in the Tub" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: Another hazard of sleeping in the tub, Pepe. You're not only gonna see your ugly roomies at their ugly worst... / Roger: You will also receive their first ugly sarcasm of the day. / Mike: What is this? Some pathetic version of "Calvin and hobbes"? / Roger: Mike, meet Pepe, my pet coyote. Pepe, meet The Thing That Just Woke Up. / {{Part of the "Sleeping in the Tub" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: I have this obsessive fear... that someone will miss the toilet and pee all over my face! / Dave: But that's ridiculous! It couldn't happen! What COULD happen is that someone sits on the tub and takes a dump on you... / Dave: Roger? / {{Part of the "Sleeping in the Tub" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: Mike, I'm serious. I'm not sleeping in that tub. What if someone pees all over my face? / Mike: Man, that is NOT gonna happen! / Roger: Oh yeah? THAT is what they said about the TITANIC! The Challenger! What about Murphy's Law? Uh? / Mike: All right, already! Wait here, I have the solution for your problem... / Mike: Enjoy. / {{Part of the "Sleeping in the Tub" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Hey! New clothes! I thought you didn't have any money! / Dave: Well, I had some money for food... / Mike: You spent your food money on CLOTHES? How ya gonna survive the rest of the month? / Dave: Geez! I'm not gonna starve to death or anything... I'll figure something out.. / Dave: Are you gonna eat that? / {{Part of the "Cannibal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: Gosh! I am STARVING! / Dave: Hey! Isn't that Marsha 'Megababe' Hart, wearing nothing but a wet t-shirt? / Roger: Where? Where? / Mike: Lemme guess. She put her clothes on in the nanosecond it took you to look, right? / Roger: Bummer. I missed it! / Dave: Ne't dime wid be, Doged. / {{Part of the "Cannibal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: Hey! Isn't that the girl from 'the X files'? / Roger: Where? Where? / Dave: Whoops! Sorry. It's only the coffee machine. Uh.... gotta go. / Roger: See you around. / Mike: What are you, an idiot? Don't you realize he says all those dumb things just to distract you so he can steal your food? / Roger: Maybe I'm NOT an idiot. Maybe I'm just trying to help him without hurting his pride. Maybe I'm, like, LETTING him steal. / Mike: Oh my God! Now you've done it! I'm the most horrendous, evil gnome on the surface of the Earth! Now you've gone and made me feel completely MISERABLE! / Roger: Thank God for snappy answers! / {{Part of the "Cannibal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: Maybe spending all my money on clothes wasn't such a good idea... I can't stop thinking about food! / Roger: honey tatatata-tata, uuuh sugar sugar tatatata-tata / Dave: You're NOT helping me, Roger. / Roger: Like the suit? I bought it at a garage sale! Five bucks! / {{Part of the "Cannibal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: "Under certain extreme circumstances, human beings have resorted to eating cats, dogs, or even their own kind." / Roger: Uh... Mike? / Mike: Bug off, man. I'm trying to study. / {{Part of the "Cannibal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Roger: Don't look now, Mike, but there's a cannibal behind you... / Mike: Right, Roger. Hannibal or Jeffery Dahmer? / Dave: Hello, food. / Mike: Remind me to believe you next time, okay? / Roger: I don't think there's gonna be a "next time". / Dave: ksssss... / Whip: Chas! / Arrow: salt / {{Part of the "Cannibal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: GRRRRR!!! / Mike: Geez! / Margaret: Hi, we live next door and we... / {{Part of the "Cannibal" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Mike: Way to go, Dave. Now the babes next door think we're just a bunch of freaks! / Roger: Yeah! WAY TO GO! / Dave: Are YOU talking to ME? You're the one in the freakin' chicken suit! / Mike: Yeah! You and your stupid chicken suit! / Roger: Better watch your mouth, whippin' boy! / Dave: Right! What are you, some kind of sadomasochist pervert??? / Mike: That's IT! I'm gonna beat the crap outta you WEIRDOS! / Roger: We'll see about THAT! / Dave: You asked for it, buddy! / Marsha: A bunch of freaks? C'mon... / April: Fine, don't believe us. / Margaret: See for yourself! / Marsha: Hi, I'm Marsha and i live... WHOA! / Marsha: Uh... Gotta go. / Roger, Dave, Mike: NOOOOOOO!!! / {{Part of the "Cannibal" storyline}} |
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