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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Margaret: I'm just saying that we shouldn't rush ourselves. We don'teven know each other. I have to be sure of what I'm feeing, and I want you to be sure too... okay? / Dave: *sigh* Okay. I guess you're right. But it's disappointing how real life is a lot more practical than romantic, isn't it? / Dave: Mmmph? / Dave: Wha... what was THAT? / Margaret: Your good-night kiss, silly! / Dave: But I thought I already had... / Margaret: Who's counting? / Roger: 105??? My God, you're DYING, man! / Dave: Oooooh yeah. / {{Part of the "The Adversary - Gone With the Storm" storyline}} |
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[[Outside]] / Dave: At least I got some hope from my date. But it's still kind of unfair. No matter how much you love someone they don't always love you back. / Roger: I don't want to play Devil's avocado here, but where did you get that idea? Fairy tales? / Dave: You mean Devil's ADVOCATE. / Roger: No, I really don't want to play Devil's avocado. I mean, you're an avocado! You're evil and everything, and you still get no respect! / Steve: DId you hear that Waldo? Those dorks fround the Devil's avocado! It must be OURS! / Waldo: YES!!! And then we'll make the guacamole of DOOM! / {{Part of the "The Devil's Avocado" storyline}} |
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[[Hall, Classroom]] / Steve: Excellent catnapping! Now to get the others! / Waldo: Would you believe it? It fell for the same trick we used last time! / Mr. Dover: Before you leave... I'll have a minor surgery next week, so... / Dave: AAAAAAH! / Everyone: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!! / Mr. Dover: Aw, looks like somone is actually worried about me... / {{Part of the "The Devil's Avocado" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: This place is a mess! / Mike: Duh. It's ALWAYS a mess. / Dave: But now even MY stuff is a mess! / Roger: Okay. Either we get rid of the mountain of garbage or we get scarecrows. The buzzards are always stealing my socks. / Mike: "Dear idiots: If you ever want to see your pets again, give us the avocado. Love, Waldo and Steve." Hehehe. / Dave: WHAT??? THat's not funny! / Mike: Of course it's funny. Look, they cut out magazines to make the notes and then they went and signed with their names. / Roger: Seems that "idiots" included you, Mike. / Dave: But he doesn't have a pet! Oh, wait a sec... do you mean...? / Roger: Ee-yep. The remote's missing. / Mike: The BASTARDS! / {{Part of the "The Devil's Avocado" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's apartment]] / Steve: Hey, do you guys EVER knock on doors? Were you raised in a barn or what? / Dave: There you are! I bet you're the half-brain cell behind this, aren't you? / Mike: I was raised in a barn. And I used to make pigs SQUEAL. / Roger: If I detect the slightlest erosion on Fluffy I'm gonna get hair around here... / Waldo: Pfft! / Dave: All right! I want my cat, NOW! / Steve: Not so fast, laser boy. You can't do a thing to me, you know... as we're speaking, your cat is in a bag somewhere, running out of air. / Steve: Which already killed it once. And if it happens again, well, we know what's gonna happen to you, don't we? / Dave: How... how the hell do you know about... / Steve: Duh. We were like, HERE when it happened? / Mike: What's that supposed to mean? / Dave: Er... / {{Part of the "The Devil's Avocado" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's apartment]] / Mike: All right, I'm waiting for an explanation... / Dave: THere's nothing to explain! I just want my cat to live, that's all! / Roger: HEY, MIKE. PAY ATTENTION TO THE DISTRACTION, MAN! / Mike: I mean, isn't your soul-cat thing just merely emotional? / Dave: You KNOW about the soul thing??? Geez, is there any way to keep a secret around here? / Mike: Sure it is. A piece of advice: DON'T mumble in your sleep, man. / Mike: I admit it was amusing to pretend I didn't, but... / Roger: Bah.... / Steve: Hey, can we save the bedroom stories for later and start the avocado negotiations? / {{Part of the "The Devil's Avocado" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's apartment]] / Mike: Now Steve, let's see if you can give ME a reason to not hurt you... / Dave: But what about my cat??? / Steve: Yeah, what he said... / Mike: This is no good cop/bad cop routine, Dave... / Steve: Look, just give us the avocado and we'll give you your pets. / Dave: Avocado? Did you smoke blue mushrooms or what? / Steve: Don't play innocent. We know you guys found the Devil's Avocado. / Mike: This.... this is outrageously reidiculous! / Dave: Roger, tell this nut there's no such thing as a Devil's Avocado. / Roger: Actually, the Devil's Avocado is supposed to be a low-fat snack that give you extremely evil powers. / Dave: WAHT??? Oh no, you too? / Roger: Don't ask. / {{Part of the "The Devil's Avocado" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Dave: Look, Steve. If I HAD that avocado you want, I'd just give it to you, okay? But I don't! And it's not my cat's fault! / Steve: You *break* my heart. Sorry, no avocado, no pets. / Mike: Mmmh, guys? I say it's time we stop pretending we don't have the Devil's Avocado... they are too smart for us! / Dave: Mike, what the HELL are you talking abouOOOWW! / Roger: And I haven't said a thEEEENG! / Mike: You stay here, I'll be right back with the Avocado. / Roger: Are you really gonna give it to them? These dorks are gonna unleash Doomsday! / Dave: ??? / Steve: And NO tricks! I'm watching every move you make, hentai boy! / {{Part of the "The Devil's Avocado" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Steve: THAT'S IT? Doesn't look very evil... / Mike: Look, man, NEVER diss the Devil's Avocado or the Council of Evil will make you swallow a bat's head. / Steve: So that's what happened to Ozzy? / Mike: Yeah. Then he became a junkie... / Roger: The coyote. Hand it over! / Waldo: I think Yog-sototh is happier here. Besides, we're keeping it as a hostage for our protection. / Roger: WHAT? / Chester: KS! / Waldo: You'll find it at your door later. Now good-bye. / Roger: Way to go, Mike. Not only are they holding Pepe as a hostage, they ALSO have the Devil's Avocado! / Mike: Ba-pssch. Do you think they're gonna do anything with it? Adter all, they're too wimpy for the Ritual! / Steve: Hold it. What ritual? / {{Part of the "The Devil's Avocado" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Mike: BWAHAHA! You don't know about the Ritual? Then what do you want the Devil's Avocado for??? / Waldo: Um... Guacamole of Doom, maybe? / Steve: Shut up, Waldo... all right, smarty, if you know so much, endarken us about the Ritual... / Dave: Mike, can't we just go home? / Mike: Well, I got my remote... so what's in it for me? / Steve: Yeah, but we still have the coyote! Tell us about the Ritual or we'll, um, set it on fire! / Roger: NOOOOOOOO!!!! / {{Part of the "The Devil's Avocado" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Mike: Fine. I'm gonna tell you, but you have to give me the coyote, and you better write it down 'cause I'm only allowed to say it once. / Steve: Ooh! Waldo, get our evil notebook... / Mike: All right... first, you gotta shave your entire body... / Mike: Then you paint yourselves green and run naked in the streets hollering "I am ONE with the Avocado!" / Steve: What kind of stupid ritual is THAT??? / Mike: Not manly enough for you huh? There's an alternate one that involves testicle piercing... / Steve: Never mind. / {{Part of the "The Devil's Avocado" storyline}} |
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[[Steve and Waldo's Apartment]] / Steve: So after all that idiotic and painful stuff we have to stand on our heads for three days??? C'mon... / Mike: Well, sorry, I don't make the rules! And don't forget the enema, it's VERY important! / Waldo: Good-bye, Yog-sototh! / Dave: Pfft! Mike, I know they probably deserved it, but that was still very cruel. / Mike: Man, if I can't be cruel to my enemies, what the hell do I want them for??? / Roger: I wish you wouldn't have mentioned the testicle piercing thing, Mike. That one really works, you know... / {{Part of the "The Devil's Avocado" storyline}} |
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[[Outside]] / Dave: I have this odd feeling someone's following us. / Mike: You're being paranoic again. / Roger: And you're being paranoic about Dave being paranoic... / Dave: DID YOU SEE THAT??? / Mike: See what, man? WHAT? / Roger: If this was a movie, now one of us would go wandering alone and get caught by the psycho in the hockey mask. / Dave: Oh DAMN! I forgot my physics book in the cafeteria! / Dave: SLAP! / Mike: If the psycho gets you, I'm gonna sell Chester to the hot dog man. / Roger: NOT funny! You should always believe Hollywood! / Pinkerton: The kids... The KIDS... / Pinkerton: The kids are not all right... / Pinkerton: The kids... schooled me... those nosey kids and their meddling drugs... / Pinkerton: I think that I think, therefore I think that I am. / Pinkerton: Wait! NOW I remember! It's all coming back to me! I've got amnesia! / Bottle: AMNESIA PILLS for stress relief / Pinkerton: I took the PILL! I think... / Pinkerton: But one of the kids wasn't a kid... in fact, she was more of a pill... / Pinkerton: And the pill took me! / Pinkerton: I was taking pills because I didn't catch something... / Pinkerton: Catch the KIDS. / Pinkerton: Catch the kids and everything will make sense... / Pinkerton: THERE!!! / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Park]] / Dave: Huh! A penny! / Dave: "Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck" / Dave: ...unless some glue shall stick it up, in which case your whole life is.... / Dave: YAAAAAAAAA!!! / Dave: MUCKED! / Dave: GRRRR.... / Pinkerton: HA HA! OBERF! Your luck SUCKS! / Dave: Whoa, someone comes out of nowhere to make MY attempts at poetry look GOOD. / Dave: I can feel the luck building already... / Pinkerton: Ha HA! YOU! Youuu. Youuuuuuuuu. / Pinkerton: Youuu thought you were safe from me because your hair was BROWN, didn't you? You... brown-scalper! / Dave: Look, guy, I don't know what your problem is... and I've met a lot of guys with problems... / Dave: but you picked the WORST guy to pick on right now. / Pinkerton: Ooh yeah! Speech! SPEEEECH! / Dave: Well, come to think of it, Mike is seventeen different kinds of evil... Roger would melt what little brain you've got left, just by talking to you... and attacking Marsha... BRRR... or Margaret... BRRR... okay, so I'm the second-best guy to pick on, after April... but that's not the point! / Pinkerton: FAH! You won't get out of this by using code-names for your little friends! I know your real name, Ri... Ri... / Pinkerton: Richie Rich! / Dave: ... / Pinkerton: And once you're safely locked in a safe, the F.I.B.'s super-secret government stuff will be secret again! / Dave: ... / Pinkerton: But SHHH! That's a SECRET! / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Park]] / Dave: Dammit all, I DON'T deserve this... / Pinkerton: Gimme a P! Gimme an I! Gimme an N! Gimme a K! Gimme an E! / Dave: I visit animal shelters, I play with babies... I'm a friggin' nice guy, all right? / Pinkerton: Gimme an R! Gimme a T! Gimmer an O! Gimme an N! What's that spell? / Pinkerton: My name! Which is... uh, which is... / Dave: "Ash." / Crowd: WAIOH! Look out! Run! Act casual! Not again! I hate this campus. / Pinkerton: This isn't going the way it's supposed to! But wait! Nothing goes the way it's supposed to with these guys! So it is going the way it's supposed to! And now I'm supposed to lose, which means I'll win! / Woman: Hey! / Pinkerton: Yay me! / Woman's Clothes: SHHRRIPP / Dave: GUH.. / Pinkerton: GHOOF! / Pinkerton: FRAKKK / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Park]] / Dave: GAAAAHHH! / Dave: GNNNNN! NNNNN! / April: Hey, Dave. We heard something about "laser vision in the park" so we figured it was either you or a really down-on-his-luck optometrist. / Dave: You got to HELP me, April! I think I KILLED this guy! / Marsha: Whoa! YOU? / Marsha: Pfft. He's not dead. / Margaret: You... always squinch your eyes when you shoot right AT somebody, Dave. You've got more self-control than you think... / April: Still, can we get 'im out of the open? The cops in this town already know us by sight... / Dave: Are you okay? I didn't mean to hurt you... I'm very sorry... / Pinkerton: GLGLGLGLG / Margaret: All right, spit, you little weasel! Who are you and why are you trying to kill Dave? C'mon, I'm running out of PATIENCE here! / Pinkerton: You're... wrong... / Margaret: Oh, so you weren't trying to kill him? Do you put homemade traps on campus for the FUN of it? / Dave: What's this about the F.B.I.? / Pinkerton: You're all ALL wrong... / Pinkerton: You're supposed to be wearing pancake makeup... / Pinkerton: You're supposed to be really skinny... / April: Hey! / Pinkerton: And you're supposed to be a guy... / Margaret: HEY!!! / Pinkerton: You're... not the ones, are you? Owww... / April: Maybe he 'scaped from an asylum? / Margaret: With THAT suit? Oh, I know! He's a stoned yuppie! / Dave: Except that trap wasn't homemade... and if he is F.B.I. then me, Roger and Mike might be in trouble again... / Margaret: No, Dave, if they're after you... / Can: PSHHH / Margaret: three... / April: Marsha... her nostrils are flaring again... I'm... afraid... / Margaret: then THEY just fell into an OCEAN of trouble. With weights tied to their feet. / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment, Lecture Hall]] / Mike: Oooh. So taking my convertible wasn't enough, huh? What do I have to do to make you guys leave me alone? My guess is that I have to HURT you... / Dave: I don't htink he's working alone. If we hurt him, we have to hurt everybody else, right? / Mike: Fine with me. I'm an endless source of pain. I'm like the Perpetual Whup-ass Machine, except I don't take lunch breaks. / Roger: Well, when you take a closer look at him, he looks harmless. But nerdy anyway. / Pinkerton: Tentacles... lasers... eyes... freaks... should be put behind a glas... / Mike: Freaks??? I'll put a glass up YOUR behind! / Dave: Violence is not gonna make him more coherent, Mike. / Mike: It's obviously a trick. He's playing crazy to avoid my questions. / Roger: Wow, this guy would be damn good at a nonsense contest. / Mike: Oh wait. I know of a way to make him talk. / Dave: Not the truth serum AGAIN. / Mike: It's either the truth serum or the high-pitch singing. I'll let you guys pick. / Arrow: Reality-warping smile / Roger: Mr. Hand and Fluffy and Pepe and me vote for the serum. Sorry Dave, you're outnumbered. / Pinkerton: ACK! / Pinkerton's watch: Sproing! / Will, Rikk, Katherine, Tim: YOU? / Katherine: What are you doing here, Shanna? / Katherine: This is... you know... the meeting, where people you don't like do things you don't like to do. / Shanna: My latest... assignment. The paper's convinced I'm the Jane Goodall for you people. / Shanna: Trust me, I'll just sit here and lur... and sit. Quietly. / Will: The room still feels contaminated. / Alisin: Ah, let 'er stay. This'll be innerestin'. 'Specially when we show Tim's movie... / Tim: Actchally, "Hackerz" ain't hack-n-slash. Not that there's anythin' wrong with hack-n-slash, but this is more a movie about information wars between individuals an' authorities. / Tim: It's an important flick. Real important. / Rikk: You're sketching again. / Rumy: Yes. / Rikk: Haven't seen you doing that since, you know... / Rumy: You can say it. / Rikk: Since the big break-up. / Rumy: You noticed. / Rikk: Well... yeah. Who wouldn't? / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Boys' Apartment]] / Dave: This... this guy's gotta be JOKING. / Mike: You can't joke under the effect of truth serum, Dave. / Dave: C'mon... a secret society trying to capture us and use our powers to take control of the government??? / Mike: Makes sense. At least, it's a possibility. / Roger: And if they were trying to protect us, why'd they send such a scrawny little guy? / Dave: Yeah right. And why would the FBI protect us? We barely escaped alive last time. / Mike: We didn't escape, they let us go. It's a big difference. I suppose the government probably wouldn't want to acknowledge our existence... but if our powers are used for something illegal... / Roger: What? / Mike: Well, they could try to prevent us being captured, or they could try to eliminate us themselves. / Dave: AHA! And how do we know it's not the second? / Mike: For one thing: the truth serum. It's not guaranteed to work, yeah, but it makes it very hard to lie. / Dave: I should know... / Pinkerton: BURRRRRP / Dave: Hey, you okay over there? / Pinkerton: Much better... / Pinkerton: DEFINITELY much better... / Dave: Ooh, no. Don't listen to him. He thinks we can break into a meeting room and start shooting at innocent people... / Marsha: they want to use you for their evil domination plan and you call them INNOCENT? / April: Mike, are you SURE that guy you the truth? What if it's a trap? Maybe this is too rushed... / Mike: We can go after them NOW or we can wait for them to get us one by one. They're SEVEN PEOPLE. We're outnumbered, but our powers should overcome them easily. / Roger: Right. What am I supposed to do? BLINK them to death? / Margaret: Don't forget the weapons. We have enough weapons to take over several small countries. / Dave: Margaret... PLEASE don't tell me you're gonna kick down the door... / Margaret: Hey, that's a darn good idea. The element of surprise... / Dave: ...carrying your loose-trigger grenade launcher... / Margaret: Of course not, silly. Grenades are only for outdoors. Instead, an uzi or two, a shotgun, some small weapons... and yeah, can't forget the AMMO! Mmh. AND bullet-proof vests. / Dave: GNNNNN... / Mike: 'Kay. Their meeting room has two parallel exits... we could use a smoke bomb... / Margaret: Then we pick 'em off as they come out... / Marsha: Or seal OFF the exits and trap them like rats... / April: Or slap them, yell "Tag!" and run like hell. / Roger: Bad idea! Secret societies ALWAYS have secret passages in their secret hide-outs. / Dave: Yeah, and then they'd get off the hook AND know we're after them. Brilliant plan. / Marsha: And if all else fails, April can BORE them to death. / April: Oh, haaaa-hahahahaha-hahaha-hahahah... / Mike: Bah. Do we really NEED a plan? I say we just get down there are kick their butts good! / Margaret: Hey, I LIKE that idea... after all, weapons, laser beams, tentacles, werecoyotes... can you say PANIC, boys and girls? / Roger: P-PANIC. / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Lecture Hall]] / Tim: Actchally, "HackerZ" ain't hack-n-slash. Not that there's anythin' wrong with hack-an-slash... / April: Do I really want to know why you have that listening device? / Marsha: This is DIFFERENT from ex-boyfriend stuff, April! I'm stalking for great justice now! / Roger: No, and furthermore, no! I'm declaring this "National Don't-Turn-Into-A-Werecoyote" Day! / Mike: I already declared it "Don't-Fight-Big-Bruisers-While-Your-Werecoyote-Friends-Hide-Behind-Doors Day". Do you want to insult my religion? / Dave: Um, elbow... / Pinkerton: I liked the voices in my head BETTER than this. / Margaret: Hey, can we go HURT someone now or what? / Marsha: In juuuuuust a... / Rikk: I call this meeting to disorder! / Marsha: They're ii-iin! / Margaret: Let's go. / Rikk: Other business: No larping or lazer tag this weekend. I think most of us are pretty tired after becoming the latest secret arm of the United States Government... / Tim: Woohoo! Down with Th' Establishment! Woohoo! ...yeah, a little tired. / Margaret: WHOK! / Margaret: FREEZE! / Rikk: Will, I SAID no role-playing during the meeting... / Margaret: I SAID FREEZE! / Margaret: Okay. NOW you can run like hell. / Gun: BUDDA BUDDA BUDDA BUDDA / Shanna: Shooting wide... / Margaret: Da--? / Board: WHACK / Rikk: Tim! Block a door! / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Lecture Hall]] / Dave: zzap! / Margaret: OOF! / Dave: I don't believe it! They're taking her ON! We gotta her her! / April: Wow, that's guy's like, the EVIL Dave. Some kind of "NegaDave" or something. / Mike: You heard him, Roger... / Mike: Get IN there. / Mike: IT'S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO AFTER YOU INSULTED THAT GUY'S MOTHER! / Rumy: Ugh! / Mike: HEY! / Rumy: Hang on, Rikk! / Marsha: You don't want to go out this dooooor... do you? / Marsha: That would make me... sad. / Tim: Um... I know I had a reason for goin' here... / Tim: Eyes... eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes eyes... / Marsha: No, you diiidn't! *giggle* *flutter* / Dave: Whoa! Not like THAT, Mike! You're gonna KILL the guy! / Tim: IIGH! / Mike: "Kill him... don't kill him..." You know, even if I WANTED to be good, guys like you keep changing the stupid RULES. / Rikk: KATH! GET SHANNA OUT! / Dave: I MEAN it, Mike. Let. Him. GO. / Mike: Who died and made YOU Grand Poobah Keenspotter? / Rumy: The way he LOOKS... the way he ordered that STRONGER boy... he must be this gang's LEADER. / Roger: BRUTALITY! BRUTALITY! / Will: YOU attacked US! / Rumy: He's not Rikk... He's not Rikk... / Margaret: DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM! / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Lecture Hall]] / Marsha: Hi. I'm with the Sisters of Pain! Would you like some of our literature? / Katherine: Other door, Shanna. / Marsha: You know, pain has a long and fascinating history. Take the Middle Ages-- / Katherine: I've read up. / Marsha: OWW! / Marsha: WHACK! / April: I'm giving you ONE chance to surrender... / Shanna: Mmmh... okay! / Shanna: Juuust... gonna... sit... this one out. Ayup. Yup yup yup yup YUP. / April: ? / Shanna: Wouldn't want you to think I'm DANGEROUS... / Rikk: RU! / Roger: AARGH! AARGH! / Will: But I haven't even HIT you yet! / Roger: RRRIP / Will: WHAK / Margaret: Leg shot... adjust for distance... MOVE, APRIL... / Alisin: SNAP! / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Lecture Hall]] / Katherine: KWAK! / April: NKK! / Katherine: Okay, Shanna, get up. / Shanna: I can't. I surrendered. Isn't that, you know, like being frozen in freeze tag? / Roger: BUMP / Will: GNN! / Alisin: Yo, she-bitch. Let's go. / Alisin: Now this is just physical, swwetcheeks. Don' think we're goin' STEADY. / Roger: WHAKK / Rikk: HFFF HWUFF / Alisin: SLABUMP / Alisin: GUHHH / Alisin: NUCCCH / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Lecture Hall]] / Margaret: Hmph. Pinkerton said YOU were the worst of the LOT. "Worst" SOMETHING, I guess. / Alisin: Ugh... / Margaret: C'mooon, get up. The fun is only beginning... / Alisin: Gawrsh, that leg looks a little stiff... I wonder why? / Will: Farger... fair fight... I'd take you... / Mike: Yeah, yeah, and Gore won the election. Get OVER it. / Margaret: ARRAGH! / Margaret: MU(CENSORED)UP CORPSE (CENSORED) BIT (CENSORED) VOMITING (CENSORED) LEECHES!!! / Alisin: Please! My virgin EARS! / Alisin: Ooh, if looks could kill... / Dave: zzzzzz / Dave: FRAAAKKK / Margaret: Yeah! BLAST HER ASS TO BURNT NEWSPAPER! / Rikk: Hey, TEEN CYCLOPS! Your cartoon SUCKS! / Dave: HNNN / Dave: KA-ZAP / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Lecture Hall]] / Rikk, Dave: WHOA! / Dave: BUMP! / Rikk: NARG! / Rikk: WHACK! / Dave: UGH! / Dave: SHWOK! / Rikk: NGH! / Rikk: THUD! / Dave: Mmgh! / Rikk: Y'll have t' do better'n'at... I been beaten up by all KINDS a'monsters... heck, my WIFE's jurt me worse'n you... / Dave: ... / Rikk, Dave: KLUNK / Katherine: Down to you and ME, pretty much. / Mike: You and me? Are you dure? / Katherine: What do y / Mike: Just ME, you mean. / Katherine: Oh, haha. Enough feints, squid boy. Get out here before I blow off both your "tentacles." / Mike: Bluffing, bluffing, I KNOW you're bluffing... / Mike: I hope. / Katherine: He's gonna be SO easy... / Katherine: Are you mutated enough to dodge bullets? I'll give you ten seconds to run. 10. 5. 1. / Katherine: Dammit, he saw it coming! / Katherine: SWOOSH / Katherine: Scared ya, huh? Hehe... / Mike: Mmh, this is not working AT ALL... I wonder if she has any buttons I can push to my advantage... / Mike: Oh, I'm scared. But since I like cheap thrills, why don't you stop hiding behind the table and let me REALLY have it? Bring redemption onto me, BIG... MAMA... / Katherine: Trying to make me attack, eh? You look like the impatient type... / Katherine: I would, but I'm really in no hurry. So we'll be running around this till the end of time. / Mike: Tricky girl, tricky girl... I'll show YOU some mind tricks... / Mike: Guess what. The end of time is here. / Katherine: Indeed. / Pinkerton: AMEN, sister! / Shanna: Oh, D-- / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Lecture Hall]] / Pinkerton: "Hah-hah-have some blue mushroom juice and morphine!" / Katherine: What? / Mike: NO! / Shanna: You son of a...! / Fire Extinguisher: PSSSHHH / Pinkerton: Yes, I'm the son of a bitch that is payback. / Shanna: GHJJJ! / Fire Extinguisher: PSSHH / Shanna: Nuh-nuh-not again... / Pinkerton: Getting a bit wonky, isn't it? Getting hard to tell what's real? / Pinkerton: I KNOW THE FEELING. / Mike: Mmh... Bologna... / Ymir: THE GODS HAVE COME TO SILENCE THIS SQUEALING BASTARD WORLD! LET MAN END! / Margaret: Okay. I don't think we can KILL it... but a called missile to its left eye might make it run OFF for a while... / April: Are you NUTS? If we really piss him off, he can turn us into popsicles by belching! / April: And somehow, the thought of dying is not NICE. / Mike: I'm for squealing like little girls and running, myself. / Will: I'm going down fighting. / Dave: Look, you can't force a force of NATURE! We've got to make it see reason... / Katherine: Yeah. OUR reason, anyway... / Shanna: Hey, here's an idea! Why don't we all stand around debating what we're going to do to it until it buries us in an AVALANCHE? / Ymir: Eh? Slush fleas. / Avalanche: RMMMMBLE / Mike: Remember: this was YOUR idea. / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Classroom, Physics Lab]] / Dr. Zedd: All right, class. Today's lab assignment is to split an atom and prove the existence of its particles. / Marsha: YOUUU... you INCREDIBLE... / Rumy: Clearly, this is an impossible assignment. And clearly, this is a test of our faith in our instructor. Clearly. / Alisin: "Kind of a "hey, Abraham, this is God, go kill your son" thing? / Rikk: Sir? Don't you think this assignment is, well, morally wrong? / Tim: Friggin' establishment kill 'em all mumblmumblmumbl / Roger, Diana: ZZzzZZZzzZ / Mike: That's the last vent. We're snowed under, all right. Frosty was TORQUED. / April: Stay calm. / Will: I AM calm. / Imaginary Floating Wiser April: Ooo, good idea. Tension in those shoulders, hm? / Will: You always know when I'm trying to be someone I'm not. / Imaginary Floating Panicky April: Oh, sure! Be the rock for your boyfriend when you're both about to suffocate! They say it's like going to sleep, and hey, you're halfway there already! / Imaginary Floating Panicky April: There go the lights! Don't you just want to claw the walls? Oh, but you're the nice one, you're not the one who gets to panic! It's always Marsha! / Lights: TZZZT / Imaginary Floating Panicky April: MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA! / April: Shut up, Imaginary Floating Panicky Me! / April: Aheh... / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Physics Lab, Classroom]] / Tim: Trust me, big guy. I know how systems break, and th'edjucashunal system is not gonna let this guy flunk us ALL. / Rikk: *sigh* / Rumy: Look at him... he's sleeping, and yet his fingers never falter. / Roger: ZZzzZZZZzZ / Marsha: I'm going to fail... I'm going to be a second-class citizen... / Arrow: potato battery! / Tim: Ya just do th' best ya can, and ya'll end up gettin' graded on a curve. / Alisin: Hey, that's just what the, the preacher said last Tuesday, remember? / Rikk: Heh... yeah... / Marsha: "Would you like fries with that... Would you like fries with that...?" / Roger: ZZzzZZZZzZ / Rumy: He assembles with such confidence... he is the work... I can almost believe he IS building an atom smasher... Teache me, O Zen Master... / Rikk: What would I do without you guys to direct me? / Tim: Eh, probably be even MORE healthy an' borin'. / Alisin: ... / Alisin: *twitch* / Rumy: I wonder if this is how they did it in 1945... / Roger: ZZzzZZZzZ / Hammer: POW POW / Marsha: As God is my witness, I swear... I'll never flunk again! / Margaret: So, what's the plan, "Majesty?" / Katherine: You... really TRUST me, don't you? / Mike: And the correct "boyfriend answer" is... of COURSE, honey. / Margaret: You're squad leader. But I have some suggestions. / Dave: I can TUNNEL us out. / Shanna: God, look at those two... / Katherine: "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown." Oh, well. I WANTED this. / Shanna: They're so clingy and couple-y. And it looks... I don't know... wrong, somehow." / Shanna: I mean, I remeber how Kath started seeing Mike after he hid his tentacle and Marsha was on a revenge binge... but I can't remember too much they've done since. Same for April and Will... / Arrow: S.C.A.-inspired "Sweetmeats" / Arrow: Revenge-inspired "sourmeats" (indistinguishable from Marsha's usual cooking) / Shanna: Be OBJECTIVE, Shanna. Is this JEALOUSY talking? After all, I still itch when I think about... / Ceiling: CREEEAK / Katherine: Steam tunnels are frozen... and even lasers won't did us out BELOW before we suffocate. So the only way out is up... back into Ymir's sights. / Mike: Gonna be us or him, anyway. You can't expect a bully to leave you alone. We never do... / Shanna: No, I know Kath. Something's wrong here. / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Hotel Lobby, Hotel Room]] / Pinkerton: Heh, heh. Some of my friends had a bit too much to drink. / Hotel Clerk: That's the fourth time you been carryin' people back to your room... how many friends you got? / Pinkerton: I'm a popular guy. They call me "Dweezil, the Designated Driver". / Hotel Clerk: You don't sound THAT popular. / Pinkerton: I wonder if he suspects anything. / Hotel Clerk: Thank God. If this guy doesn't distract the management from my register-stealing, nothing will. / Sign: BILLBERG HOTEL Comfort in the olde style. Cable TV. / Pinkerton: On. / Pinkerton: And on. / Pinkerton: And on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on... / Pinkerton: Mutants and rebels all safely neutralized. I hope my system can handle the blue mushroom juice... I mean, this Acme Matrix system... it was designed to work with other hallucinogens... or maybe I mean my body's system, handling the blue mushroom juice that I got on my clothes when I carried 'em in... in addition to the other drugs in my system that are still cancelling each other out... I mean... I mean... I MEAN? I'm not mean! I'm just really, really provoked! / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Physics Lab]] / Marsha: You realise this assignment is totally impossible and you're crushing our dreams, don't you? / Dr. Zedd: Ee-YES! X-actly! BIN-GO! Gods, you kids disgust me! So full of maive optimism and hormones and energy and the belief that everything's gonna turn out okay! You remind me of my EX-WIFE when SHE was in college thirty years ago, and ME when I was young enough to believe she'd love me forever! Life SUCKS! CHOKE ON IT! FLUNK! FLUNK! AH HA HA HAH! / Marsha: GJJ... / Diana: What a refreshingly honest professor. / Rumy: We probably should have worried when his last set of multiple choice answers spelled out "D-E-A-D" over and over. / Ceiling: CRRIKKK / Will: If we're going to die, I think you should know that I've always considered you a coward. / Mike: Oh!-- the AGONY!-- Couldn't-- see that one-- COMING! / Katherine: Can you hit Margaret's plastique from here, Dave? / Dave: ...Yes. Yes, I CAN. / Shanna: This will never work. / Dave: Yes, it will. / April: I can't believe you're turning into our "spiritual leader..." / Dave: Yes, you can. / Dave: Have FAITH. / Dave: ZZZZZZ / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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[[Hotel Room, Roof of Classroom]] / Pinkerton: "Eheheheheheheheheh" / Pinkerton: That's it, kids... keep on DREAMING, save the world... / Pinkerton: Save MY world, that is... and keep saving it, keep building it up... / Pinkerton: ...so you don't realise you're trapped inside it! / Phone: Beep bip BOOP Joe's Termite Cultures and Discount Student Lofts. Joe Speaking. / Pinkerton: Why won't this stupid phone dial correctly? I've spelled F-I-B a dozen times! / Will: ... / Katherine: We MADE it! / Dave: YES! In your FACE, Satan! / Shanna: Boy, hope it doesn't collapse before we get down the side. / Margaret, Mike, April: Don't SAY tha-- / Ymir: BOINK / Building: CRUMMM / Will: ...April? / Shanna: I landed all wrong... I should have split a rib. This barely hurts... I don't feel cold enough... / Margaret: Dave..? / Dave: Still here. / Margaret: Good... Good. I need your help... / {{Part of the "Mad Science (CRFH/FANS)" storyline}} |
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