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|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Roger: Well, maybe he IS acting weird. So what? That doesn't mean he's ready for the straightjacket. Besides, mom left nine years ago... why go crazy now? / Lily: It's kind of logical. After all, it's his first year alone. We don't live here anymore... all he does is work and sit around here by himself. / Roger: Well, what can WE do? / Lily: Isn't it obvious? We have to find out where Mom is. / Roger: That would be opening a HUGE can of worms. At least if he doesn't know where she is he might hope she'll come back. But what if she can't come back, or if she doesn't want to? / [[Mike's robotic hand is on the table]] / Lily: Yeah, you're right. I think I prefer him in the asylum. Hey, go back to working on your new girlfriend there. / Roger: That is NOT my girlfriend. It's a mechanical hand for a tentacled friend. / Lily: Sure, that's what they all say...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Mike: [[thinking]] This sucks! There's no way I can talk to Marsha while I'm trapped here... / Mike: [[thinking]] And what's that ex-boyfriend stuff? I thought she was over it. It's kind of unnerving. / Mike: [[thinking]] I have to find a way to sneak out, somehow... go to her house and talk to her. / [[Mike starts undressing for a bath]] / Mike: [[thinking]] Oh, well. I'm sure I'll figure out something. After all, there is nothing a hot bath can't... / [[Mike's tentacle is still hidden by his semi-removed clothing when his mom enters, spots the top of his tentacle, and asks...]] / Hazel: Michael, why is your shoulder blue? / Mike: [[thinking]] ...ruin FOREVER...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Mike: Gah! Ma, why don't you KNOCK or something??? / Hazel: Because I'm your mother and I have seen you naked. / Mike: BUT...!! / Hazel: Don't change the subject. Turn around, I want to see that tatoo you have. / [[Mike's shoulder's normal now]] / Mike: All riiiiiiight... / Hazel: Mmh. How strange. / Mike: I KNOW. / Hazel: It must have been a reflection or something. / Hazel: Anyway, I don't see my foot massager around, so good night.. / Mike: [[seeing that his shoulder is no longer blue]] ...???|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Mike sits in the bathtub. His tentacle has three bands of color: green, yellow and red.]] / Mike: [[thinking]] This is SO cool. I didn't know I could change the colors of my tentacle at will! / [[His tentacle is colored vaguely like a dog's head]] / Mike: [[thinking]] Instant puppet! Woof! Heheheheheh... / Mike: [[thinking]] And oh, look! I can change its texture too! / Mike: [[thinking]] Ah, no, wait. It's just that it's been in the water for too long.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Dave is unwrapping a parcel]] / Blue: Ooh! What's that? / Dave: Apparently, it's a Christmas gift from Roger. / Blue: Can I look? / Dave: Sure. / [[Dave unrolls a piece of paper]] / Dave: Nice! A drawing. I didn't know Roger liked to draw... / [[Behind him, Blue looks surprised and worried]] / [[Close-up on the drawing. It's a blue dragon, tail high, wings spread, blowing stylized flames and smoke downward.]] / Dave: [[off-panel]] And even less, dragons...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Dave: [[rolling up the drawing]] What's the matter? / Blue: N-nothing! Why? / Dave: Was it something I said? / [[Blue runs away]] / Blue: [[off-panel]] YousaidnothingandnothinghappenssoIgottarunbuBYE! / Dave's mother: Aw, don't worry, sweetie. She'll come back. / Dave's mother: After all, all young couples have problems from time to time...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Dave: Mom, we're not a "couple". / Dave's Mom: Yeah, yeah... so THAT is why you've been acting strange! / Dave: I'm serious! I don't even like her! / Dave's Mom: The way you carefully avoid each other... tsk tsk. It sure brings back memories. / Dave: Mom, I have no idea what you're talking about. / Dave's Mom: [[winking]] Well, you know, your father and I couldn't stand each other when we met. But you know what they say... opposite ends meet! / Dave: [[staggered]] Uuh... do you have a big glass jar you can spare? / Dave's Mom: Honey, we've had this conversation before. Screaming into a jar won't solve your problems...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Mike is on the phone. He's extensively testing his robotic hand by drumming the fingers on the tabletop]]
/ Mike: Heeeey.
/ Dave: [[from phone]] Hey Mike. Say, remember the Opposite Ends Meet strategy?
/ Mike: Nope.
/ Dave: [[from phone]] What? C'mon, you said Blue was using it on me!
/ Mike: I don't recall saying anything like that.
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Mike: INVASIVE RIB POKE!!!
/ Louis: EEEKH! / Mike: For someone who betrayed his brother for a motorcycle, your guard sure is awfully down! Now, I gotta show you the other side of Evil...
/ Louis: Uh?
/ Mike: The Receiving End, Jungle Boy!
/ Louis: [[reaching into his pocket]] Oh yeah? I still have my stun gun with me, you know... / [[Mike holds aloft Louis' stun gun]]
/ Mike: You mean THIS stun gun? Sorry, I must have poke-pickpocketed it accidentally!
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Dave: Ah, there you are. I was waiting for you...
/ Blue: Oh?
/ Dave: I wanted to tell you, this time I'm REALLY on to you.
/ Blue: Again??? / Dave: Yeah! And I wanted you to know that I have decided to stop hating you. That way your strategy fails! See?
/ Blue: I guess I'll have to call the wedding off. I'll be sure to alert the media on it.
/ Dave: Oh, you can use all the sarcasm you want, but I will just... / [[Blue slams the door in Dave's face]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Margaret: Are you okay, April? You've been awfully quiet these days. Maybe telling you about the war was not a very good idea...
/ April: It's not that. I've been sorting out some stuff. Mind if I ask you a personal question?
/ Margaret: Go ahead. I don't think you can ask me something I haven't told you yet.
/ April: Say... how would you feel if you found out Dave was f... dating someone else? / Margaret: Mmmh. Well, I don't know. Probably relieved. I tried so many ways to push him away... it'd be nice if he could be happy with someone else. Someone less dangerous...
/ April: What if that someone is the wrong person?
/ Margaret: Really. What's worse than dating the Bride of Satan?
/ April: Point. / [[We see Chester batting at the air]]
/ Margaret: [[off-panel]] What's with Chester, anyway?
/ April: [[off-panel]] Ah, that's just his latest favorite hobby. Hunting imaginary floating flies...
/ Chester: <
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Dave: [[hammering at Blue's door]] Open up! I'm still not done with you! You still have to hear about how your evil plan is gonna fail, and how I'm not gonna fall in love with... / [[Dave blushes, a small heart appears above his head]] / Dave: y-yy.... (????!!!) / Dave: [[off-panel]] GAAAAAAHHH!! / Blue: [[thinking]] ???? / [[Chester is crawling around inside Margaret's shirt]] / Margaret: My, my. Does this cat love to hide inside of my shirt or what? / April: [[thinking as she glares at Chester]] For your own good, Dave... I hope you're not having as much fun as it seems...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Louis' riding his motorcycle]]
/ Louis: [[thinking]] Heehee! Eat my dust, sucker!
/ Louis: [[thinking]] Stupid Mike. He didn't count on this beauty lying around...
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Blue: Hey wait! Why are you screaming? Did I hurt you with the door or something? / Dave: GAH! Get away from me, you SORCERESS! / Blue: My God, what's the matter with you??? Please, get away from the window! / Dave: This can't be happening. What have you done to me? Make it stop. NOW. / Blue: All right! If you get away from the window, I'll stop... Whatever it is I'm doing... in fact, I'll leave! Just give me a couple hours to find another place to stay... / [[Desperately trying not to, Dave kisses Blue]]|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Dave and Blue are kissing]] / <
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Dave's on phone with Margaret]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Louis rides his motorcycle as Mike rides a horse alongside him]]
/ Louis: This is ridiculous! You can't be running as fast as me!
/ Mike: I'm not going fast... YOU are going SLOW!
/ Louis: What?
/ Mike: Well, you're my little bro! If I was gonna mess with your brakes, I had to make sure you weren't going too fast!
/ Louis: WHAT??? / Mike: Now come here, we still have to spend some quality time together....
/ [[Mike picks Louis up, off his bike]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Louie: Mike, get your f$@&!%* hands off me! / Mike: Oooh. Naughty works. Mom's gonna wash your braaaiiiin.... / Louie: You'll see what she does to YOU when I tell her what you did! / Mike: [[releasing Louis]] Louie, this is the Big Leagues. I always have a plan, and a witness that will say that you crashed your motorbike on purpose to get a new one. I don't know what you did to get it confiscated, but now Mom's gonna confiscate your LIFE! / Louie: [[rubbing his arm]] I don't buy that witness thing. You're going DOWN. / Mike: All right, consider your options. Go tell Mom, don't collect and go to hell. Do what I say, and I'll take you to Manic Mountain, let you drive my convertible, and get you a new motorbike. / Louie: You can take your deal and stuff it up your... Uh, keep talking...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[April and Margaret sit down to a game of Scrabble(tm)]] / April: How's Dave? / Margaret: Just as cheerful as always *sigh* If I didn't know him better, I'd think he's trying to make me feel guilty for staying here. / April: The cheating hypocrite little bastard! / Margaret: Uh? / April: I mean... who's first? / April: Go first, I don't mind. / April: All right, then. Eh, is "xylophone" a word? / Margaret: NO.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Lily: Is there something you want to tell me, Roger? / Roger: Uh? / Lily: You're hiding something from me. It's too obvious. / Roger: Am I? / Lily: Well, you walk in a circle three times before going to sleep. / Roger: I want to make sure there are no dimension holes around it. / Lily: And you HOWL everytime you see my Apollo XIII poster! / Roger: It's awful. / Lily: And you scratch your head with your FEET! / Roger: Uum, er, my hands were busy? / Liliy: Why don't you just admit it? / Roger: Admit? *gulp* / Lily: You're a vampire, Roger. I can't help you if you keep lying to me... / Roger: Uuh...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Dave's Dad: It's a shame Blue had to leave so soon... / Dave: Pfeh. She could have said good-bye at least. / Dave's Mom: She didn't say good-bye to you? / Dave: Um. Yeah. But what about Dad? / Dave's Dad: Actually, she stopped by the factory... / Dave's Dad: Where are you going? / Dave: Out. / Dave's Dad: Was it something I said? / Dave: No, Dad. I just need some air. / [[Dave stands alone on the balcony]] / Dave: [[thinking]] She's gone now. This is what I wanted, right? / Dave: [[thinking]] So why am I still angry? / Dave: [[thinking]] Why can't I STOP being angry?|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Dave's Dad: Gosh. Is he Mr. Grumpy lately or what? / Dave's Mom: I know. Mark, I'm so worried. But he won't say a word about it. / Dave's Dad: Didn't Blue say he was fine? / Dave's Mom: Yes. But the way she left... I don't know, it makes me think something happened... / Dave's Mom: Maybe I should go through his stuff and see if I find something. / Dave's Dad: That won't help to improve his mood, Mildred. / Dave's Mom: Whatever it is, it's eating him inside. And you want me to sit and watch? / Dave's Dad: I know it's the hardest thing to do... but we have to let him make his own mistakes. We can't protect him from the world forever...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Lily is hanging a picture]]
/ Roger: Lily, I've decided to tell you the truth.
/ Lily: Oh, good! I didn't buy that girlfriend thing anyway...
/ Roger: Not about my girlfriend. Lily, do you remember Mom ever mentioning something about a family curse?
/ Lily: Naw. / Lily: Besides, if you're gonna tell me... YOOOWWW!
/ [[Lily hits her thumb with the hammer]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Lily has turned into a werecoyote. She examines herself critically in a hand-mirror.]] / Lily: This is a catastrophe. Either I'm spending a fortune on depilation cream or hair conditioner! / Roger: Not to mention new clothes everytime. Maybe we should go into the baggy fashion. / Lily: Wait! Does that mean this happens to you, too? / Roger: Yeah, it's been happening from time to time since a few months ago. / Lily: Really? Can you make it happen? I want to see how you look. / Roger: No WAY. / Lily: *sniff sniff* Mmh. What's that smell? Is dad cooking or something? I'm so hungry... / Roger: Red meat is bad for your health! Now, if you excuse me, I think I forgot my toothbrush at campus.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Lily pounces on Roger, knocking him onto the couch]]
/ Lily: GOTCHA! Lunch time!
/ Roger: Whoa, deja vu! / [[Roger turns into a werecoyote and starts gnawing on Lily's arm]]
/ Lily: HAHA! I was just kidding! Look at you, YAY!
/ Roger: GRRRR.... / <
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Roger's Dad's point-of-view: two enormous yellow humanoid coyotes are trying to calm him down]] / Roger: [[hands extended in the classic "I come in peace" gesture]] So dad, I guess that what I'm trying to say is, we're okay. We can turn back and we have it under control. We're just good ol' Lily and Roger... / Roger: Uh, dad? / Roger: Say Lily, do you think it's normal he's drooling like that? / Lily: I think it was the eye in your hand that just blew the fuse.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||Louie: YESS! We're here! Manic Mountain! / Mike: Ee-yep. Well, enjoy. I have other business to attend... / Louie: All right! So what time will you pick me up? / Mike: Never! I said I would take you to Manic Mountain! I didn't say I'd bring you back home! / Louie: What??? You can't be serious! / Mike: Heehee. You panic too easily. All right, I'll see you here at 8:30, Okay? / Mike: [[thinking]] We didn't specify the day, did we? / Louie: [[thinking]] Yay!|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Dave looking over balcony]] / Dave: [[thinking]] Boy, I really messed things up with Blue. She probably hates me now...
/ Dave: [[thinking]] I should feel reliieved. Instead, I just feel bad about it.
/ Dave: [[thinking]] This isn't my fault, is it?
/ Dave: [[thinking]] I wonder where she...? / [[Blue walks below]]
/ Dave: [[off-panel, above]] Blue??? Hey! HEY, BLUE! / Dave: [[off-panel, above]] Wait! I'll be down in a second!
/ Blue: [[turns away]] <
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Dave has traced Blue into an alley. She sits, apparently sobbing]]
/ Dave: Hey... what are you doing sitting here in this dark alley?
/ Dave: You didn't have to run like that, you know... I just wanted to apologize for... for being a jerk...
/ Dave: I'm sorry. / [[Blue lifts her face enough for us to realise that it's not Blue; it's Hazel, Blue's mother, in disguise]]
/ Hazel: But you're not REALLY sorry... / Hazel: [[pistol-whipping Dave]] At least not YET!
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Hazel removes her disguise and repairs her face, while Dave's being beaten up off-panel]]
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