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|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, June 27, 2002||[[Dave returns from his brainwarp. He notices that he is holding a test tube and a flask, both containing some clear, colorless liquid.]] / Dave: [[thinking]] Uuuuh? / Dave: Mmh, what is this stuff? / Marsha: H2O. / Dave: And what am I supposed to be doing with it? / Marsha: Something harmless? / Dave: Distillation is ready... but what about the soap? / Marsha: I didn't make it! I was too busy with the distillation while your mind was in orbit! / Dave: Oh, so YOU brainwarped me and now it's MY fault??? / Marsha: Oh, all right. Next time a lotion-related incident happens, I'll be sure NOT to let you know about it. / Dave: Whoa, wait. Let's not make rushed decisions here... / Marsha: But you JUST said... / Dave: Really, who LISTENS to anything I say anyway? I'm STUPID!|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, June 28, 2002||[[Ray, Pokono and Roger (still in wig) present their lab results to the teacher]]
/ Roger: [[holding up a flask of blue liquid]] We managed to isolate the hallucinogenic substance of blue mushrooms. Here it is in its most pure form!
/ Ray: It works toooooo! I'm FLYiiiiiiiiing!
/ Pokono: And for something to work on Ray, it has to be really strong stuff!
/ Teacher: Ooh! Very impressive! / [[Scully and Mulder enter the lab]]
/ Mulder: FBI! Everybody fo-RREEEZE! / [[Roger empties the flask down a familiar-looking sink]]
/ Roger: You'll never get me ALIVE! There, your evidence goes down the drain! / [[The sink glows an ominous blue]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, July 1, 2002||[[A blue-gloved hand rises from behind a countertop, pulling its owner upright.]] / Margaret: [[off-panel]] Uuugh... / [[Margaret's hair is longer, down to the base of her collarbones. Her clothes now consist of a tan-and-white Spandex superheroine costume, with blue gloves. April's hair is also longer -- down to her hips -- and she also has a Spandex costume, though hers still bares her midriff]] / Margaret: Uuh, something exploded?? But, I didn't bring any of my toys... / April: [[rubbing her head]] But you DID bring funny clothes! And since when did you have so much hair? / Margaret: You obviously have not looked at yourself! / [[Dave is now buff, and clad in Spandex. Roger has also buffed up and the Spandex fashion has obviously seized him also. Although he still wears his red wig.]] / Dave: [[looking down at himself]] What the hell just happened???? / Roger: Obviously, a freakish lab accident transformed us into superheroes. / Dave: That explains the muscles, but where did these clothes come from? / Roger: Mmh, I dunno. They actually never explain that part.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, July 2, 2002||[[The transformation has also affected Marsha -- hair, spandex -- and Mike -- buff, spandex.]] / Marsha: [[at Mike's side]] Mike! / Mike: [[holding his head]] Ee-yeowwch... / Marsha: Mike! Are you okay? / [[Marsha helps Mike to his feet]] / Mike: My God... everything looks so clear now! And it feels... like I knew it all the time too! / Marsha: Knew what? / Mike: We're in danger. The whole world is in danger... We have to do something before it's too late! / [[Mulder is hugging Roger from behind]] / Roger: SCREW the world! I have my OWN problems, you know??? / Mulder: Ooh Scully, you've been working out! And you owe me a piggy ride...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives||[[Dave has wrapped himself in his cape]] / Dave: Whoa, PSL! / Margaret: PSL? / Dave: Pouring Saliva Largely... / Margaret: What's with you and the cape? / Dave: Well, this thing is too tight. I feel practically naked. / Margaret: So? We ALL are! / Dave: Yeah, EXACTLY! You included, and see, the spandex, and certain reactions... / Margaret: All right, forget I ever, EVER asked.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, July 4, 2002||Mike: Look, we can't just stand around discussing spandex. Every minute counts! The forces of Evil are movilizing, and if we want to keep our breathing privileges, I suggest we take action NOW! / Dave: The only action I'm taking is sitting down and hugging my knees. I might be a bit confused, but I still recognize a mushroom trip when I'm on it, and the last time I went on a quest while stoned the Devil ripped out my soul! / Mike: Of course it IS a mushroom trip! But the fact that it's a hallucination doesn't mean what I'm saying is not true! / Roger: Tentacle Head is right. I'd say we are just looking at reality from another level of consciousness... / Dave: All very deep and pretty, man, but I just can't take you seriously while you're in that ridiculous pinky costume. / Roger: I was wearing something more serious just a sec ago. I can put him back on if you prefer... / Mike: See??? When even this IDIOT says I'm right, you just KNOW I might be on to something!|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, July 5, 2002||Dave: Well, I don't care. You're crazy enough when you're not stoned and you're even WORSE when you are. Go fly out the window or something. / Margaret: Wait a minute... you were the Hooded One last time! You KNEW what was happening before any of us had a clue! Why and how do you know so much? / Mike: Who cares??? The Evil One is just one step away from victory! / Margaret: Are you sure? The last time I saw him I made my choice and stabbed him. He's left me alone since then. I thought that... / Mike: Why wouldn't he? He's already WINNING! He's been moving his pieces and setting you up while you sit around waiting for something to happen! / Margaret: But how??? / Mike: There's no time to explain it! Do you want to fight back or not?|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, July 8, 2002||[[We notice two robots. One, armed with a laser pistol, resembles Scully. The other hovers and resembles Mary Ann.]]
/ Scully-Robot: Locate all mutant humans for life termination
/ Mary-Ann-Robot: Shoot the blonde! / [[April dodges three bullets]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, July 9, 2002||[[Dave confronts the Scully-Robot]]
/ Dave: [[his eyes glowing]] Hey! Stay away from her!!! / [[The Scully-Robot blocks his laser bolt with her shiny wrist]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, July 10, 2002||Marsha: [[holding a fire extinguisher]] Leave my guy alone before I bake you a pie of PAIN! / [[The Scully-Robot punches Mike in the solar plexus]]
/ Mike: Marsh, don't... GWHOOOFF!
/ Scully-Robot: Ignore. / Marsha: ALL RIGHT! You're starting to piss me off!
/ [[She lets rip with the fire extinguisher]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, July 11, 2002||Roger: [[calling]] Look out! There's the teacher! / Mary-Ann-Robot: [[temporarily distracted]] INPUT?
/ April: [[escaping]] I LOVE you, Roger!!!
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, July 12, 2002||[[The Scully-Robot has picked up the fire extinguisher, and is advancing on Marsha, the extinguisher wielded like a sledgehammer]] / Marsha: Whoa girl! Are you SURE you wanna do that? Put down that baby so we can TALK about it! / Scully-Robot: Blip / Marsha: Just, just for a SECOND! / Scully-Robot: [[relaxing]] CANCEL. Reevaluate priorities. / Marsha: [[fleeing]] YEAH! You go and take your tiiiiime! / Scully-Robot: Reevaluate course of action. / [[The Scully-Robot, cradling the extinguisher, approaches the unconscious Dave]] / Scully-Robot: RIP|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, July 15, 2002||[[The Scully-Robot tears off a section of Dave's cloak]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, July 16, 2002||[[A jet of liquid strikes the Mary-Ann-Robot.]]
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, July 17, 2002||[[Roger hurries to April's side]] / Roger: Are you okay? I'm sorry I couldn't stop her before you got shot! / April: GGGNN! I didn't get shot, I cut my calf with a stupid piece of glass! / Roger: Well, consider yourself lucky... / April: I'm not lucky, I'm just the Queen of Quick Reflexes! / Marsha: Mike, put yourself together. We have to kick some robot's ass. / Mike: What? NO! / Marsha: What do you mean "NO?" / Mike: We're not supposed to fight back! / Mike: See, this is just a DIVERSION!|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, July 18, 2002||Robots: [[advancing on Mike and Marsha]] Anihilate. / [[Everybody grabs an unconscious body and runs. Mike carries Margaret, Roger has Dave]] / Mike: Everybody RUN to the ship! No matter what, DON'T STOP! / Marsha: We don't have a ship!!! / Mike: We do! I mean, I do! I mean, you and me... ah, WHATEVER! / [[Meanwhile, Ray is floating over everyone's heads]] / Ray: I'm FLYiiiiiiiiiing! / Roger: Whoa. Now THAT is a superpower... / Mulder: [[off-panel]] LOOK, Scully! A UFO!|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, July 20, 2002||[[A sleek red spaceship thrusts through space]] / Mike: [[aboard]] Could you people stop bleeding all over my new stolen ship? / Roger: [[aboard]] I don't think he heard you. / April: [[aboard]] Don't worry, Mike, I'll clean it up later. With your dead deceased corpse. / [[In the cabin]] / Marsha: [[in the co-pilot's chair]] What are those in the radar? / Mike: [[in the pilot's chair]] ACK! The Guard! Quick, roll up the windows and close the top! / Marsha: There are no windows in here... / Mike: Shhh! I'm talking to the computer! / Marsha: Sure, Dexter. / [[Two blue-and-white spacecruisers, red and blue lights winking above them, give chase.]]|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, July 21, 2002||[[Meanwhile, in the back of the spacecraft, our heroes recover. April nurses an unconscious Margaret; Dave, his nose bleeding, groggily comes to; Roger sits nearby, aloof.]] / Dave: *Snrllffff* Gggh, what... happened? / Roger: You got a spoonful of your own cod liver oil. You auto-lasered your zits off. You kicked your own ass. / Dave: Oh God. I'm in Hell again, ain't I? / April: No, but you can consider yourself in a handbasket.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, July 22, 2002||Dave: [[clutching his nose]] Uuuuuggh. Ooh, man, the PAIN... / Mike: [[off-panel]] You whine like a little girl, Dave. Oh no, wait, even little girls can take it better. / Dave: Mike, I really don't need this right now. / Mike: [[off-panel]] Why, there's always time for re-gret. I learned that from YOU. / Dave: [[off-panel]] Where are we going? Margaret's unconscious. She needs to be taken to a doctor. / Mike: We'll just splash some water on her face in a minute and she'll be allright. / Dave: [[off-panel]] WHAT??? / Mike: We don't have time for hospitals right now! We have to complete the mission. / Dave: [[off-panel]] My God, you're a complete lunatic. Wait, just wait till I can stand up without puking... / [[The spacecraft nears a space station. Curiously, the station's lights against the starry backdrop resembles the plan view of an apartment building.]] / Mike: [[inside the spacecraft]] It's too late for that now. / Mike: [[inside the spacecraft]] We're home.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, July 23, 2002||[[The spacecraft has docked. Mike leaves the craft, entering the space station. Dave cradles Margaret, who has recovered consciousness but still looks somewhat battered]] / Dave: Are you okay? / Margaret: No, I'm NOT. My pride is hurt. How would you feel if a "Rock 'em Sock 'em" robot knocked you out with a single punch? / Dave: Well, she didn't even TOUCH me... / Mike: You guys go take an aspirin or something. I'll be back in a minute. / Mike: Well, where is it? / Roger: Where is what? / Mike: The Source. / Roger: I thought you knew everything. So what do you need the Source for? / Mike: I don't know the DETAILS. Are you gonna help me or not? / Roger: Of course. I'm just playing annoying power games, just because I can. / Mike: Roger... / Roger: All right, all right. On one condition. / Roger: Whatever you do, don't ask about the hot dog man. / Roger: Fluffy?|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, July 24, 2002||[[Dave is lying in bed, recovering from having lasered himself. Chester sits on his chest.]]
/ Chester: Maw?
/ Dave: Yeah, I know. It goes without saying. / [[Chester licks Dave's throat comfortingly]]
/ Chester: <
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, July 25, 2002||Margaret: [[holding an ice-pack to her bruised cheek]] I still don't understand how that robot could knock me out. Her punch was like a cannonball. / April: It makes sense. After all, we got superpowers from the chemical explosion, and WE were protected with lab coats and gloves. / Margaret: Unnatural strength? Well, that makes me feel a little better. / [[Dave enters, carrying a puma-sized Chester]] / April: Uuh. Someone call Sigfried and Roy... / Dave: Ggghhh... can I borrow a thousand cans of tuna? We're all out of cat food... / Margaret: No, but I've got a harpoon. We can go whale hunting in a while.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, July 26, 2002||[[Roger and Mike consult "The Source". They sit before an enormous greenlight computer screen, displaying a stream of "1"s and "0"s.]] / Roger: You are allowed to ask three questions. / Mike: Just THREE??? Dammit! / Roger: Well, two. / Mike: Auugh! It's not fair! How in the... / Roger: Is that gonna be a question as well? / Mike: Uum, eeh, no! But, I'd really like to state I hate you both. / Roger: That's ok. We're not your big fans either. / Mike: Grrr. All right, then. Where can we find the forces of Evil this time? / Roger: Coordinates and a map. You don't need me to translate that, do you? / Mike: No, I think I know where that is. Next question. / Mike: How much time do we have? / Roger: Uh? / Mike: Before the Veil of the World falls again. / Roger: Fluffy says that it's just one many veils. / Roger: If you could see through them all, you'd go insane. / Mike: Ba-pssch. Been there, got the bumper sticker.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, July 27, 2002||[[Roger turns to leave.]] / Mike: Hey, where are you going??? / Roger: You had your three questions. Let's go. / Mike: But I never even got an answer for the last one! / Roger: Not our fault if you formulated it incorrectly. / [[Mike wraps his tentacle around Roger's neck and starts choking him]] / Mike: Oh, want me to do the things the hard way, huh? How much time do we have? And do we even have a chance? Answer these or the coyote gets it! / Roger: But if the answer depends on the answer, then it's a recursive question... AAACK! / [[Mike leaves. His tentacle appears to have had a knot tied in it.]] / Marsha: What was all that noise? Sounded like a concrete-cracking fight. / Mike: Nothing. A normal roommate disagreement about the computer. / Roger: [[off-panel]] Hah! Fear my knot tying skills, sucka!|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, July 28, 2002||Margaret: Look, Mike, I'm not going with you. I'm really sorry, but for now, my first priority is to get back to that robot. And that's it. / Mike: OK. Can I at least borrow a couple of guns from you, please? / Margaret: Sure, if you take good care of them. / [[Margaret surveys her armory in astonishment -- it's full of fantastical, enormous guns.]] / [[Margaret, grinning inanely, clutches Mike's arms.]] / Margaret: How many shiny... futuristic... HUGE weapons did you say we need? / Mike: A couple... / Margaret: No. NononoNONONO. Say it. A lot. LOTS of them. / Mike: [[noticing her nails digging into his arms]] Lots. Of pain and fingernails...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, July 29, 2002||April: Why did you bring Chester? / Dave: [[carrying the puma-sized Chester wrapped in his cape]] I can't leave him at home just by himself! He might jump out of the window or something. / April: Where did you get that cape anyway? / Dave: I found it in my closet. Don't ask me how it got there. / Roger: I always told you that you fed that cat just too damn much, Dave. / Margaret: [[still grinning inanely, hugging an enormous futuristic gun]] Yes Roger, I know it's beautiful! You should see the size of the bullets for this baby too! / Roger: I see metal babies are "IN" this season.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, July 30, 2002||[[The spacecraft comes into land near a block of surrealistic trapezoidal skyscrapers]] / Margaret: [[looking out the viewport]] Oh! That place... / Roger: What? / Margaret: I... I have seen it before. / Roger: No way. / Margaret: I have seen it in my dreams...|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, July 31, 2002||[[The roomies stand beside the skyscrapers which are their target.]]
/ Mike: All right. The forces of Evil are hiding inside, but we don't have the time to look for them. So what we have to do is evacuate the place and blow it up.
/ Dave: I'd disagree, but my cat-sense is tingling...
/ Chester: <
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, August 6, 2002||Dave: What if there's something inside? I have a bad feeling about everything, but THIS building takes the Blue Ribbon. / Mike: Ba-pssch. We don't have time to worry about that. / Dave: I ALWAYS have time to worry. / [[Margaret, wide-eyed, is still cogitating on the vibes she is picking up from the building]] / Dave: [[off-panel]] After all, I'm the guy who had his soul ripped out last time... / Mike: [[off-panel]] And I suppose THAT one was my fault too, huh? / Dave: [[off-panel]] That is not the point. / Mike: [[beginning to enter the building]] The point IS, we're just standing around and doing nothing. Let's just get inside and solve every problem as... eh? / Margaret: [[jabbing her shiny futuristic huge gun into Mike's back]] Allow me to disagree, mister.|
|College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, August 7, 2002||[[Margaret's big shiny futuristic gun is barely inches from Mike's face, and he is on the unhappy end]] / Mike: H... HEY!!! / Margaret: You have a lie on the tip of your tongue, Mike. Here, let me blow it off for you. / Marsha: Margaret??? / Margaret: Stay back, Marsha. I... MEAN... IT. / Mike: What the hell's the matter with you, Margaret? Are you crazy? / Margaret: Exactly what ARE you, Mike? You want to destroy this place. The only place I feel safe in my dreams. / Margaret: First you sent us into a trap and Dave got killed. THEN you tried to kill him again. Tell me NOW, Mike... all this mysterious knowledge of yours... where does it come from? / Mike: What about YOUR knowledge? Maybe YOU are the one being manipulated... / Margaret: Lies. All lies and sweet-talk, Mike. But it's not the first time a friend of mine is not who I thought him to be. / Mike: So why don't you pull the trigger already? / Mike: If you are THIS ready to give up, then we're ALL screwed anyway.|
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