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| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, September 15, 2003 | [[The mailroom. Marsha is holding a package]]
/ April: OOOOH! Is it from your parents?
/ Marsha: Yep!
/ Margaret: It is the right size to be a .22! Open it!
/ April: Ten hamsters on perfume!
/ Marsha: I don't know... what about a spice grinder?
/ Margaret: .22! .22!
/ April: PERFUME! / [[Marsha opens it]]
/ Marsha: All RIGHT!!! A gift certificate for a Spa weekend!
/ April: WOW.
/ Margaret: Aaaw.
/ Marsha: Mud treatment, beauty massage, and other relaxation techniques!
/ April: Niiice.
/ Margaret: Those are dangerous, I've heard...
/ Marsha: And get this, I can take two guests with me!
/ April: Have I mentioned you're my best friend?
/ Margaret: But I LIKE danger... http://crfh.net/d/20030915.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, September 16, 2003 | [[April and Margaret pack]]
/ April: Isn't it great??? We're gonna get pampered in a spa!
/ Margaret: Yeah, isn't it NICE? And WE are the NICEST friends Marsha can get, ever. No? / April: [[rolling her eyes]] AGAIN with that? Margaret, I'm doing her a favor, really.
/ Margaret: If you can't SEE why it's wrong, then telling Marsha won't stop you. So, I'm not telling her.
/ April: Good. But will you stop with the eroding sarcasm?
/ Margaret: Nah, it's just too darn fun. http://crfh.net/d/20030916.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, September 18, 2003 | Newbie Crewman: Three days until we arrive to Dundun Island, and then what?
/ Old Hand: Depends on how many of us are needed.
/ Newbie Crewman: So what's that place like? A week ago I didn't even know it existed.
/ Old Hand: Private island owned by weirdo. Nuff said.
/ Newbie Crewman: Does he pay well, at least?
/ Old Hand: Yes and no. You'll see. / Newbie Crewman: Can't you just tell me? I don't like surprises.
/ Old Hand: Don't think you're gonna like this trip then. / [[A cry from off-panel startles them both]]
/ Mike: [[off-panel]] OOUCH! http://crfh.net/d/20030918.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, September 19, 2003 | [[Mike clutches his tentacle]]
/ Mike: Ugh! Why don't you people watch your step, you clumsy...
/ Mike: ... uncoordinated, and uugh, can't think with this headache... / Newbie Crewman: [[eyeing Mike's tentacle]] What the hell was THAT supposed to be?
/ Old Hand: Darned if I know. Maybe it's a mermaid.
/ Newbie Crewman: I always thought they were topless girls!
/ Mike: [[looking around]] Topless girls? Where???
/ Old Hand: Whatever it is, it came from the sea...
/ Mike: Wait, I'm in a ship? How the hell did that happen?
/ Old Hand: Oh, I've heard about this. They crawl into your ship in the middle of the night and drink your blood.
/ Newbie Crewman: Let's kill it.
/ Old Hand: Yup. http://crfh.net/d/20030919.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike shakes both Dave and Roger awake]]
/ Mike: Hey, you idiots! Wake up! Rise and shine!
/ Dave: Uugh! Mike, stop screaming! And turn off that sun!
/ Roger: *GRRROWWL*
/ Mike: WAKE UP! C'mon, we're in a mess here! / Mike: Do you NOTICE something?
/ Dave: Uuh. Someone stole the roof...?
/ Roger: And painted a nice mural with a marine theme on the wall.
/ Dave: They stole the furniture too.
/ Mike: And your BRAINS. We have been SHANGAIED!!!
/ Dave: I don't know what that is, but it sure sounds bad. / Crew Member: [[shouting]] STOWAWAYS!!! http://crfh.net/d/20030920.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | Roger: Uuugh. Someone take this damn beaver out of my skull.
/ Mike: So we're too far from the coast to get us back, and you certainly can't drop us in the middle of the sea. We don't have any money, so what are you gonna do?
/ Crew Member: WORK, sonny. You ain't riding this ship fer FREE!
/ Mike: Work. Suppose we don't want to. Who's gonna make us, old man?
/ Roger: Starting to get REALLY angry...
/ Crew Member: Well, we're a crew of twenty. Tell you what, get to work right now and maybe we won't make you eat your own ass. / Mike: Neheehehe! Yes, I'm sure you THINK 20 are enough, but there's this liiiiiitle tiny factor you haven't counted on..
/ Dave: Um... Can I have a little talk with you guys for a minute?
/ Roger: No talk! Smash! Tear! Bite! Destrgrrrroy!
/ Dave: C'mon, Hulk... ever heard of anger management? Be nice and we can play toss & retrieve later.
/ Roger: GRRRR... Uh, really? Okay. http://crfh.net/d/20030921.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, September 22, 2003 | Roger: Dave, whatever you've got to say, do it fast. We have to kick some butt.
/ Dave: Yeah, yeah. Kick some butt. But what's gonna happen after THAT, Mike? Do you know how to turn this thing around and get us home?
/ Mike: Pssch. How hard can it be?
/ Dave: We know NOTHING about ships! And we don't even know where we ARE! / Roger: Hum! Laser Face's got a point, you know...
/ Mike: WHAT??? I can't believe you guys are such WUSSIES.
/ Dave: Call me a wussy but this time I want to play safe. I don't want to be lost in the middle of the sea.
/ Mike: Aw, come ON!
/ Roger: And I agree. Two votes to one. Tough luck.
/ Mike: See? SEE? THIS is why democracy doesn't work. Too much talking leads to not enough violence! http://crfh.net/d/20030922.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, September 23, 2003 | [[Mike scrubs the railing with a scrubbing brush]]
/ Mike: Friggin' seagulls...
/ Mike: And daisy-sniffing, dandelion-hugging, petunia-humping WUSSIES... / [[A white splodge appears on the railing Mike has just finished scrubbing]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20030923.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, September 24, 2003 | [[Mike snatches Dave's mop]]
/ Mike: GIMME THAT.
/ Dave: SURE, Mike! You can have my mop! You don't even have to ASK!
/ Mike: Bah! You can't use your lasers, therefore I don't care what you think! / [[Mike swings the mop at the seagull]]
/ Mike: HEY, Jonathan Livingroom Seagull! Why don't you just go FLOCK yourself???
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20030924.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, September 25, 2003 | [[The girls are being shown to their room in the spa resort]]
/ Margaret: I just saw the gym as we passed by. I'm still drooling.
/ Marsha: Oooooh. What a pretty place! And there'are so many health treatments we can get, I'm starting to feel dizzy!
/ April: Hey, do we get cute male masseurs? Do we???
/ Guide: Sure you do! And we even have twins for a double massage!
/ Guide: And we have suicide karate personal trainers too!
/ Margaret, Marsha and April: OOh yeah, I think I'm gonna like this place... http://crfh.net/d/20030925.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, September 26, 2003 | [[The girls sit in the sauna]]
/ April: Woo! Deep sauna cleansing.
/ Margaret: You know, we could have this at home... we only need to let Marsha cook with steam!
/ April: Naah. You know what we could do? We only need you to parade dressed in that towel in front of Dave.
/ Marsha: Yeah, and THEN we just have to pour water over his head!
/ Margaret: I'll refrain from the obvious and not-so-subtle joke here... http://crfh.net/d/20030926.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, September 29, 2003 | [[Mike continues to scrub the railing]]
/ Roger: [[off-panel]] I'm your only friend
/ Roger: [[off-panel]] I'm not your only friend
/ Roger: [[off-panel]] But I'm a little glowing friend
/ Mike: <<*twitch*>>
/ Roger: [[off-panel]] But really I'm not actually your friend
/ Roger: [[off-panel]] But I am / Mike: Roger?
/ Roger: What?
/ Mike: [[indicating his scrubbing brush]] If you don't shut up, I'm going to have to ram this down your throat.
/ Roger: You don't like "They Might Be Giants"? Loser.
/ Mike: Not when sung in Gregorian Chant mode.
/ Dave: All this water, and not a single whale to swallow me. http://crfh.net/d/20030929.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, September 30, 2003 | [[Mike's scrubbing has taken him to the bow]]
/ Dave: Go on, say it.
/ Mike: Say what?
/ Dave: That bit from that godawful movie.
/ Mike: What, the "I'm the King of the World" thing?
/ Dave: Exactly. You know you want to. So let's get it over with.
/ Mike: Man, I love that movie, but I wouldn't be caught dead saying something so lame. On the other hand... / Mike: [[leaning far forward and waving his tentacle]] I am the Supreme Tyrant and Great Dictator of the Universe! Bow and kneel before your master!
/ Mike: You now live under the Rule of the Tentacle! And the Rule is always right, for *I* redefine REALITY! / [[Dave looks on, somewhat panicked]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20030930.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, October 1, 2003 | [[Mike is hauled, by the tentacle, far beneath the waves, by a giant tentacle.]] http://crfh.net/d/20031001.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, October 2, 2003 | [[Back in the spa resort, the girls are having mud baths]]
/ Marsha: I love mud treatments! They leaves your skin so smooth and clean...
/ Margaret: Not while you're taking them!
/ April: But then why aren't pigs more beautiful?
/ Margaret: Maybe they would be even uglier without the mud!
/ April: Well, I say that if you are really ugly, going around covered in mud really helps.
/ Marsha: Isn't it funny, tho? You have to wonder who had the idea of getting covered in mud as a beauty treatment!
/ Margaret: I bet it was an accident.
/ April: I don't want to hear how they found out about placenta shampoo, then! http://crfh.net/d/20031002.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, October 3, 2003 | [[Mike is underwater, gripped in the tentacles of a giant octopus. They stare eye-to-giant-eye. Mike wields a pocket knife]]
/ Mike: [[thinking]] This isn't good is it
/ Mike: [[thinking]] I'll never beat this guy with this stupid little knife
/ Mike: [[thinking]] But maybe with a stupid little idea... / [[Mike jabs his knife into his own shoulder. Blood spreads in the water]]
/ Mike: [[thinking]] UUGH! That hurts! Pick up the scent.... c'mon now ow ow ow
/ Mike: [[thinking]] Let me go you bastard I'm
/ Mike: [[thinking]] running out of time... / [[Mike relaxes in the octopus' tentacles. Blood clouds the water near his shoulder]]
/ Mike: [[thinking]] Stop, stop struggling...
/ Mike: [[thinking]] It'll only squeeze harder.
/ Mike: [[thinking]] Save your strength.
/ Mike: [[thinking]] Save your OXYGEN... / [[A giant shark, attracted by the blood, buries its teeth in the giant octopus' body. The octopus somehow manages to look surprised]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031003.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Saturday, October 4, 2003 | [[Mike swims upward, away from the sea-battle below]]
/ Mike: [[thinking]] Up UP UP UP / [[He strikes out for the surface]]
/ Mike: [[thinking; his thought bubble grows darker as we proceed]] Please God I'm so close please if I have to drown why did you let me get this close just a little bit so close [[totally black]] http://crfh.net/d/20031004.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, October 5, 2003 | [[Dave and Roger mill aimlessly at the ship's railing]]
/ Dave: There he is!
/ Roger: But floating with his face down won't get him a lot of hit points...
/ Dave: I think he's unconscious! We should get him fast if we...
/ Captain: Ferget it! He's as good as dead!
/ Dave: WHAT?
/ Captain: Ain't sending any of my men down there, with all those sharks!
/ Dave: OhmyGod...
/ Roger: UGH. / Dave: Are you just gonna leave him to DIE? What kind of a captain with a crazy hat would do that?
/ Roger: [[handing Dave a life preserver]] Listen, Dave, it's up to us, and we have to move fast. Here, your lifesaver. / Dave: What? Why me???
/ Roger: Because you can laser those sharks into submission!
/ Dave: But I'm not strong enough to carry him! And I can laser them perfectly from HERE!
/ Roger: Yeah, but you're screwing his sister! He's practically your brother-in-screw!
/ [[Hands extend from the edges of the panel toward the arguers...]] / [[Dave and Roger fall down the side of the ship]]
/ Dave: GAAAAAAAH!!!
/ Roger: Dammit! I thought I had my bathing cap on! http://crfh.net/d/20031005.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, October 6, 2003 | [[In an inflatable liferaft, Dave and Mike drip]]
/ Dave: Are you all right? Do I keep pounding you on the back?
/ Mike: *COUGH* Nno, no. I think all the water got out. Thanks for fishing me out.
/ Dave: You had me worried for a minute there.
/ Mike: What happened? Where's Roger?
/ Dave: Uh... they abandoned us. I'm sorry. / Mike: Just GREAT. We're screwed. They're never gonna find us...
/ Dave: Oh! By the way, I found something! I think it fell out of your pocket... / [[Dave holds up his left hand. Floating over it is a multicolored flame]]
/ Dave: [[speaking with Satan's voice]] It IS yours, isn't it?
/ Mike: <> http://crfh.net/d/20031006.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, October 7, 2003 | Mike: I... I KNOW that voice... w-what is that?
/ Dave: [[speaking in Satan's voice]] What, this delicate and beautiful ball of sins? It's YOU.
/ Mike: Me? You're putting me on. I'm right here.
/ Dave: [[speaking in Satan's voice]] Nope, this is your soul, Mike. And I have it.
/ Mike: Shouldn't I be dead, then?
/ Dave: [[speaking in Satan's voice]] You ARE. / Mike: Hehehe. Nice trick. Except I don't buy it. Now, if I recall correctly, I kicked your ass last time... and THIS time I don't have a broken leg.
/ Dave: [[speaking in Satan's voice]] You are right. But then and there, the rules were different...
/ Mike: Sounds like bull to me.
/ Dave: [[speaking in Satan's voice]] Well, if you insist, we can fight to the life! But first... / [[Satan drops the "Dave" disguise and nudges the maritime backdrop to the floor]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031007.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, October 8, 2003 | Mike: I'm DEAD? Just like that? And now I'm in Hell? What about my trial?
/ Satan: There's no bureaucracy in the afterlife. Souls go up if their sins are light. Yours plummeted like a ROCK.
/ Satan: Truly a shame someone so resourceful and evil died in such a stupid way.
/ Mike: So what happens now? / Satan: Now, Mike, you get to choose. You can spend an Eternity in Hell... or I can get you back.
/ Mike: Back, as in alive? In exchange for what?
/ Satan: Small favor.
/ Mike: What small favor?
/ Satan: You'll find out later.
/ Mike: Forget it. / [[The black backdrop suddenly bursts into flame]]
/ Satan: Heh! I'm actually glad you refused.
/ Satan: Because that way, I get to CONVINCE you...
/ Mike: uuuuugh http://crfh.net/d/20031008.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, October 9, 2003 | [[Dave floats in the ocean]]
/ Dave: *gasp* Roger! Where are you?
/ Roger: [[off-panel]] Over here! / [[Roger still has the life-preserver, and is in were-coyote form]]
/ Roger: Dave, where's Mike? I can't see him anymore!
/ Dave: I, I... I don't think we can save him...
/ Roger: C'mon, man, we have to TRY! We got him into this mess, remember?
/ Dave: I know. But it's not a matter of trying... / Dave: Because the last time I saw him he was THERE.
/ [[Dave points to a shark's dorsal fin which is circling ominously in the foreground]]
/ Roger: !!! http://crfh.net/d/20031009.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, October 10, 2003 | Roger: Dave, I don't see any lasery going on...
/ Dave: Roger, there are four of them. I can't kill them all at the same time... they will attack us if I laser one of them.
/ Roger: What about Mike?
/ Dave: We... we don't even know if he's still in one piece. Maybe if we stand still, the sharks will ignore us. / [[Roger starts splashing vigorously]]
/ Dave: Roger, what in the world do you think you're doing???
/ Roger: Splashy ruckus.
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031010.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | {{Um... today's strip is a little bit... heavy. So if there's any kiddies in the room, better wait until they're out...}}
/ [[Hell; Satan grins at Mike who is chained to a spiked column. Mike grimaces in pain, tears streaming down his face. Satan's right hand rests on a skull topped lever.]]
/ Mike: Hhhhn. You c-call this... a hellish torture? My MOM... could do it better...
/ Satan: What, this? No, this is just TICKLING. If I pulled this little lever all the way down, you'd go insane. That would be inconvenient.
/ Mike: All my life I've paid... the price of my f-freedom... w-why do you think it's gonna change... now? / Satan: Because a small favor is a very good thing to trade in for an eternity of pain?
/ Mike: Hh. I'm n-not that STUPID. You... uh, you d-don't tell me be-because it's something I'd never... agree to...
/ Satan: Not really. I don't like babbling about my plans more than is necessary. Especially if you don't cooperate after all. / [[Satan has released the lever. Mike grins fiercely.]]
/ Mike: Then you j-just admitted... that I h-have a chance of g-g-going back wi-without your deal.
/ Mike: *snort* Hhheheheh. N-not even like THIS, huh?
/ Mike: You still c-can't CONTAIN me, bitch.
/ Mike: I am... STILL bigger... than you... / [[The fiery glow is much more intense. Satan jerks lever all the way down.]]
/ Satan: You know what? I've just decided it.
/ Satan: Sanity is WAY overrated.
/ Satan: So let's go CRAZY. http://crfh.net/d/20031011.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Sunday, October 12, 2003 | [[Under the ocean. A shark has Dave's foot in its jaws, and is pulling him down]] / [[Dave twists and lasers the shark]] / [[Dave breaks the surface]]
/ Dave: IIIIGHHhh!! *GASP* GGGHHH... thathathatTHAT is IT, I am nenenever leaving mymymy apartootooment AGAGAGAIN!!!
/ Roger: [[holding Mike's limp body]] Hey Dave, it was a great idea lighting up the water! Look who I found! http://crfh.net/d/20031012.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, October 13, 2003 | [[The surface of the ocean. Dave floats. Roger, in werecoyote form, holds Mike's limp body]]
/ Roger: This is not good. Mike's not reacting...
/ Dave: Shake him, or slap him! or something!
/ Roger: Done and done.
/ Dave: What about mouth-to-mouth?
/ Roger: It's a hard thing to do with a snout, and... / Dave: All right, I'll do it, and you laser the sharks! Deal???
/ Roger: OK, I'll do it, but it's not gonna be pretty.
/ Dave: Are they gone? Did I get them all?
/ Roger: Uuh... Dave? The ship is going a...
/ [[A shark circles]] / [[Dave leans around Roger and zaps the shark]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031013.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, October 15, 2003 | [[Meanwhile, back in the mud baths...]]
/ Margaret: And just because some gun owners are dumb enough to shoot themselves in the foot once in a while, that does NOT mean it has to happen!
/ [[She thumps her mud to make her point. A small wodge flies toward April]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031015.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, October 16, 2003 | [[The ship steams away. Dave shakes his fist at it. A life raft floats nearby.]]
/ Dave: [[shouting]] Come back here, you BASTARDS! / Roger: At least they left a life raft for us.
/ Dave: Am I supposed to be grateful??? How dare they abandon us in the middle of the sea?
/ Roger: Well, I think the lasers and the turning into big hairy monsters freaked them out.
/ Mike: <<*cough* *cough*>>
/ Dave: Nonsense! We're nice people. And the next time I see them I'll show them just how nicey bluey lasery I can be! http://crfh.net/d/20031016.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, October 17, 2003 | [[A life raft. Roger has reverted to human form]]
/ Dave: Well, we're screwed. They're never gonna find us...
/ Mike: < http://crfh.net/d/20031017.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Mike: [[shaking badly in the right end of the life raft]] Don't say yes... don't say no... don't say anthing, anything at all... don't move, don't twitch, don't cry, don't beg, don't...
/ Roger: We should try snapping him out of it, don't you think?
/ Dave: Well, he almost drowned, for God's sake! Give him time! / Mike: What...what did you say?
/ Dave: Uh... "give him time?"
/ Mike: No! Before that.
/ Dave: "He almost drowned."
/ Mike: After that!
/ Dave: "For God's sake?"
/ Mike: So. You're Dave? For real? It's...it's not a trick?
/ Dave: Yeah, last time I checked, I... / [[Mike kisses Dave. Dave is shocked. Roger's glasses almost drop off in astonishment]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20031018.html |
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