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| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Satan, in Joe's body, is cutting Dave's hand with a knife]]
/ Dave: AAAHH! GNNNnn
/ Satan: For Dante's sake, don't be such a crybaby.
/ Satan: I just need a little bit of blood, that's all. / [[Chester is licking a bloody paw]]
/ Dave: You... hhn, cowardly BASTARD... *sob* you didn't have to hurt him. He's just an innocent cat.
/ Satan: Don't worry, he'll be dead really soon. but not now.
/ Satan: Timing is everything. / [[Dave is tied up to a chair, blindfolded, with a bloody fist]]
/ [[There is a text bubble full of bloody writing in a demonic script]]
/ Dave (thought): God... God, if you're out there...?
/ Dave (thought): Please, help me. Please
/ Dave (thought): I... I just can't get out of this one alone. http://crfh.net/d/20050324.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Satan places his vessle's hand into a blue-and-purple flame, coming from a bloody bowl]]
/ Satan: [[off-panel]] Ah. Not bad at all.
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] UUGH! What are you doing???
/ Satan: [[off-panel]] Feels funny, huh? Soul cage. I'm going to take your souls and put them together again. Then I put it back into you. / [[Dave is blindfolded and handcuffed to a chair. Satan, in the vessel of Joe's body, stands before him, holding the blue-purple flame]]
/ Dave: Put my soul together? But... that's going to kill Chester!
/ Satan: A mistake needs to be fixed. Call yourself Mr. Lucky it's only your cat.
/ Dave: It was your fault in the first place! You, you have NO RIGHT.
/ Satan: [[his eyes flickering to behind himself]] Yeah. Blah blah blah. Now... uh? Oh, S< http://crfh.net/d/20050325.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Dave is on the floor, still blindfolded. There's a blinding light in the room and great gusts of wind]]
/ Dave: [[thinking]] ... / [[Dave, kneeling, pulls off the blindfold]]
/ Dave: GNNNNFF! / [[The light subsides. Smoke rises from everything]]
/ Dave: Huh? Hhhh..... what... what was THAT???
/ Dave: We're alive? Why's everything smoking?
/ Dave: Just what HAPPENED? / [[Dave peers at his hand, which is no longer wounded, though the sleeve is still bloody]] http://crfh.net/d/20050326.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Dave finishes untying himself. Joe is lying on the ground, his arm flung over his eyes. Smoke continues to drift]]
/ Joe: *cough* Hey, what happened? / [[Dave picks up Chester]]
/ Joe: [[off-panel]] It's too dark in here. I can't see a thing.
/ Joe: [[off-panel]] Hello? Anybody? / [[Dave carries Chester out, through a gloriously flowering garden. He addresses his thoughts upward]]
/ Dave: [[thinking]] So... Uh. Yeah.
/ Dave: [[thinking]] Thanks. http://crfh.net/d/20050327.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Dave bumps into Mike outside Joe's house. Smoke continues to drift around Dave]]
/ Mike: Geez. Would you believe that April??? First she goes and has sex with Diana, then she makes ME pay for it. And instead of being grateful, she tries to hit on me again! What do I have... Uh, wait. What's with the smoke? / Dave: Uh... I'm actually not sure. I think...
/ Dave: I think that I was just dry-cleaned by God.
/ Dave: Or something. / [[Mike shouts after Dave]]
/ Mike: Man, you just have to upstage me EVERY time, DON'T YOU??? http://crfh.net/d/20050329.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Diana, dressed in red, carrying a lash, meets Mike. They're outside in front of a store]]
/ Diana: Hold it right there, Mike.
/ Mike: Sure. Where there's a whip there's a woohoo, ma'am.
/ Diana: I am SERIOUS. Where is Roger?
/ Mike: Well, we could have a useful information exchange.
/ Mike: Or you could always, heheh conduct and interrogation! / [[April arrives]]
/ Diana: Whatever rocks your yach, bee-yatch. you don't mind if Paul does it, right? I'm starting to develop carpal tunnel from all the whipping.
/ Mike: Useful information exchange it is, then.
/ April: If you're tired, I can always volunteer!
/ Mike: Stay out of this, you cousing of the Gorgons. http://crfh.net/d/20050330.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[April is talking with Mike]]
/ Mike: April, why the HELL are you following me?
/ April: Ami following you? We live in the same apartment building.
/ Mike: First, I'm not heading there. Second, I *invented* that excuse.
/ April: Maybe you did invent it! But did you patent it? I don't think so! / Mike: *sigh( You know what? I give up.
/ April: And what is that supposed to mean?
/ Mike: I don't know. Whatever it HAS to mean. What is it that you want? What do I have to do so you leave me alone? Just name it.
/ April: Really? Just like that?
/ Mike: Just like that. Let's just get it over with so I can start regretting it for the rest of my life. http://crfh.net/d/20050331.html |
| College Roomies from a Parallel Universe!!! | {{This is an April Fools comic. The comic title reads "College Roomies from a Parallel Universe!!!"}} / [[Rose (female Roger) and Michelle (female Mike) are in their apartment. Rose is wearing a T-shirt that says "ZOMBIE PONY".]]
/ Rose: [[arms crossed]] And THERE is that look on your face again.
/ Michelle: WHAT look, my slouching, graceless friend?
/ Rose: The look that says you're out for a scratching post to sink your claws in.
/ Michelle: Rose. Rich, popular, and sexy people don't want to spend any time or effort putting others down. / Rose: Time? Effort?
/ [[Dahlia (female Dave) walks in.]]
/ Michelle: Wow Dahlia, I never noticed it before, but I think one of your boobs is smaller than the other.
/ Dahlia: [[looks down at her breasts]] What??? GAAAAAAH! http://crfh.net/d/20050401.html |
| College Roomies from a Parallel Universe!!! | {{This is an April Fools comic. The comic title reads "College Roomies from a Parallel Universe!!!"}} / [[Rose (female Roger) and Michelle (female Mike) are in their apartment. Rose is wearing a T-shirt that says "ZOMBIE PONY".]]
/ Rose: [[arms crossed]] And THERE is that look on your face again.
/ Michelle: WHAT look, my slouching, graceless friend?
/ Rose: The look that says you're out for a scratching post to sink your claws in.
/ Michelle: Rose. Rich, popular, and sexy people don't want to spend any time or effort putting others down. / Rose: Time? Effort?
/ [[Dahlia (female Dave) walks in.]]
/ Michelle: Wow Dahlia, I never noticed it before, but I think one of your boobs is smaller than the other.
/ Dahlia: [[looks down at her breasts]] What??? GAAAAAAH! http://crfh.net/d/20050401.html |
| College Roomies from a Parallel Universe!!! | {{This is an April Fools comic. The comic title reads "College Roomies from a Parallel Universe!!!"}} / [[Rose (female Roger) and Michelle (female Mike) are in their apartment. Rose is wearing a T-shirt that says "ZOMBIE PONY".]]
/ Rose: [[arms crossed]] And THERE is that look on your face again.
/ Michelle: WHAT look, my slouching, graceless friend?
/ Rose: The look that says you're out for a scratching post to sink your claws in.
/ Michelle: Rose. Rich, popular, and sexy people don't want to spend any time or effort putting others down. / Rose: Time? Effort?
/ [[Dahlia (female Dave) walks in.]]
/ Michelle: Wow Dahlia, I never noticed it before, but I think one of your boobs is smaller than the other.
/ Dahlia: [[looks down at her breasts]] What??? GAAAAAAH! http://crfh.net/d/20050401.html |
| College Roomies from a Parallel Universe!!! | {{This is an April Fools comic. The comic title reads "College Roomies from a Parallel Universe!!!"}} / [[Rose (female Roger) and Michelle (female Mike) are in their apartment. Rose is wearing a T-shirt that says "ZOMBIE PONY".]]
/ Rose: [[arms crossed]] And THERE is that look on your face again.
/ Michelle: WHAT look, my slouching, graceless friend?
/ Rose: The look that says you're out for a scratching post to sink your claws in.
/ Michelle: Rose. Rich, popular, and sexy people don't want to spend any time or effort putting others down. / Rose: Time? Effort?
/ [[Dahlia (female Dave) walks in.]]
/ Michelle: Wow Dahlia, I never noticed it before, but I think one of your boobs is smaller than the other.
/ Dahlia: [[looks down at her breasts]] What??? GAAAAAAH! http://crfh.net/d/20050401.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike and April are talking, on a park bench]]
/ Mike: All right, I understand a lot of things now. I never really meant to hurt you, you know.
/ April: I know that, Mike. But you have this tendency to ignore other people's feelings...
/ Mike: But what can I do?
/ April: You're not obligated to do anything. But it'd be easier if you guys were, uh, a bit more discreet around me. For a while? / [[They get up to leave]]
/ Mike: Well, I guess that's what we'll do. I gotta run for now.
/ April: Thanks, Mike. It means a lot to me. I'll see you later.
/ Mike: Yeah, see you around... / [[Mike slouches off, disgusted]]
/ Mike: [[thinking]] ... you horrible bitch from Hell. http://crfh.net/d/20050404.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Dave is in the bathroom, taking off his bandages]] / [[Dave notices that there are no wounds underneath the bandages]] / [[Dave has dressed and has admitted a disgruntled Mike]]
/ Mike: Where were you? It's gettin late, man! We still have to drive to the woods, and we don't want to be there when it gets dark.
/ Dave: Sorry, can't.
/ Mike: Huh?
/ Dave: I have to dress like a nun and hide in the closet forever.
/ Mike: If I can take pics it's a DEAL. http://crfh.net/d/20050405.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Dave turns to go]]
/ Mike: HEY! Where do you think you're going?
/ Dave: I told you. I'm healed of all my wounds, so I'm dressing like...
/ Mike: Stop it! What the HELL are you talking about, man???
/ Dave: Don't say "Hell."
/ Mike: You're not making any sense at all! Explain it or else! / Dave: Well, Satan tied me up in the basement, and then he was trying to put my soul together, and then KABLAM! God came down and the chair was destroyed.
/ Mike: Uh...
/ Dave: And now I'm scared, and I don't know if I'm supposed to give up all that beautiful fornication, and... / [[Mike drags Dave, tentacle around his neck, through the bathroom]]
/ Mike: All right, that does it. I'm putting your head inside the toilet and flushing all the metaphoric talk right out of it.
/ Dave: They're not metaphors, you IDIOT! Ugh, you're gonna get me smitten by proxy!!! http://crfh.net/d/20050406.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | Mike: All right, I believe you. Still, you SHOULD be happy, no? And why are you surprised? I thought you believed in God...
/ Dave: Well yeah, I do! So what? I didn't think he was, you know, PAYING ATTENTION!
/ Mike: And now you want to be good? Isn't that kind of hypocriticotical?
/ Dave: Well, I don't KNOW what I'm supposed to do! / Mike: Right. So why don't you go to church, or something?
/ Dave: Which church? Do I become a priest? A minister? A missioner?
/ Mike: YOU??? Half of the time you're thinking of naked women and the other half of lingerie.
/ Dave: Demon-hunter? Is celibacy required there?
/ Mike: Dave, you're afraid of ASBESTOS.
/ Dave: Isn't there a single easy, holy thing to do??? / [[Diana is listening at the door]]
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] Incidentally, why didn't you tell the girls to come along? Well, Marsha.
/ Mike: [[off-panel]] It could be dangerous.
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] Uh, right. Roger's Mom.
/ Mike: [[off-panel]] Not only her,
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] What, Roger? Don't be ridiculous.
/ Mike: [[off-panel]] He's highly unstable since he killed all those people in Dundun Island... http://crfh.net/d/20050407.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike and Dave are riding in the car. Mike is driving]]
/ Dave: I'm not liking this vibe I'm getting from you. Are you okay? Or are you going to start talking to inanimate objects again?
/ Mike: Man, if you're not alarmed by the quality and quantity of terrifying things that have happened to us lately, then YOU are the crazy guy.
/ Dave: Right. But why Roger? Do you think he's in danger?
/ Mike: I think we're all in danger. Except you, maybe.
/ Dave: Pfft! Yeah.
/ Mike: I'm not worried about getting shanghaied. I can get out of earthly problems. But possession? / Mike: We have had lots of personal encounters with Satan, and it's only because we're stupid that we haven't pooled our knowledge. Maybe we can find a way to defend ourselves.
/ Dave: Do you think there's a way? How do we defeat someone so powerful? We're only human.
/ Mike: Well, maybe *you* can settle for waiting around for God to fight your fights...
/ Mike: But God's not on the side of guys like me, Dave. If I'm going to play the game, I have to assume I'm alone. http://crfh.net/d/20050408.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Roger (as werecoyote) and Margaret in a cave]]
/ Margaret: Well... now that you know... are you gonna tell Dave?
/ Roger: Not going to see him again, so you can tell him yourself.
/ Margaret: So you're serious? You're going to stay here?
/ Roger: Hey, just because *you* changed your mind...
/ Margaret: I didn't change my mind. I'm going to the hospital, and when I'm fine I'm going away again. / Roger: Well, if that's what you're doing, why are you so surprised that I'm doing the same?
/ Margaret: Because we're DIFFERENT, Roger. Me, I left no one behind, and I can be happy all by myself. And your mom asked you to be happy, didn't she?
/ Margaret: You have a father, and a sister, and a girlfriend. Now, look me in the eye and tell me you can be happy. Even if it means you'll never get to see them again. http://crfh.net/d/20050411.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Roger (as werecoyote) is with Margaret, in a cave]]
/ Roger: OF COURSE I'm not going to be happy, what kind of stupid question is that???
/ Margaret: Ugh. So wait until you can't turn back.
/ Roger: You don't know how it is. I'm just TIRED of fighting it. I'm just tired of being afraid of myself!
/ Margaret: Well, you have to find a way to be happy, because your mother said...
/ Roger: Stop saying that! I don't care about happiness, I just want some peace!
/ Margaret: Peace is overrated. Want to know what I think? / [[Roger grabs Margaret's wrist]]
/ Roger: No, I DON'T. Shut up. I don't want to talk to you about this. You just don't get it. The only person who could understand is dead thanks to you! So you better run away really fast, because you smell of wounded prey, and I'm getting really ANGRRRR.... RRRR....
/ Margaret: I can't run away, Roger. And for that matter, you can't either.
/ Margaret: So whatever happens next? It's entirely up to you. http://crfh.net/d/20050412.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Dave and Mike are searching the woods]]
/ Dave: Well, yeah. Chester probably is a good dog detector. But really, don't you think he's got enough emotions for a day? Sheesh.
/ Mike: Everybody talks about their day. Well, mine has'nt been a stroll in the park either.
/ Dave: Yes it was! It was EXACTLY like that!
/ Mike: Right. Well, I'll take Satan over April any day. I still feel like puking, honestly.
/ Dave: You're not serious. / Mike: At least with Satan, you know he's not going to talk dirty to... Uh.
/ [[They stop, horrified by something ahead]]
/ Mike: Oh, crap.
/ Dave: ... http://crfh.net/d/20050413.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike and Dave have encountered Roger (in werecoyote form) carrying the limp form of Margaret. Roger has traces of blood around his muzzle]]
/ Dave: Margaret??? WHAT...?
/ Mike: WAIT a minute, Dave... Roger, what happened here? Why is she bleeding?
/ Roger: She's not bleeding. At least, not anymore.
/ Dave: She's not... She is NOT! Is she...?
/ Mike: Calm DOWN! Roger, just tell us what happened, okay? / [[Mike is now holding Dave back]]
/ Roger: [[off-panel]] I'm sorry, Dave.
/ Dave: No...
/ Roger: [[off-panel]] I'm afraid I lost my temper.
/ Dave: WHAT?
/ Mike: Uh, Roger...
/ Roger: [[off-panel]] We all knew it would happen sooner or later, right? http://crfh.net/d/20050415.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Dave's eyes are glowing]]
/ Mike: Dave, DON'T.
/ Dave: Stay OUT of the way, Mike.
/ Mike: Wait. Look, Dave, I know I can't stop you. And I know how you feel, but...
/ Dave: No you don't. You have NO IDEA.
/ Dave: Pray that you never do. / [[Dave fires his laser-vision at Roger]]
/ << ZAP >>
/ [[Dave is distracted and the beam misses, striking a nearby tree branch]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20050418.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Diana places herself between Mike and Dave on one side, and Roger (in werecoyote form), who's carrying the limp body of Margaret]]
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] I don't believe this... Get of the way, Diana!
/ Diana: No! I don't care what he did, don't you touch him or I'm going to unscrew your colon with THIS!
/ Roger: Di...
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] He killed Margaret! You expect me to do nothing?
/ Mike: [[off-panel]] Wait a second, you two...
/ Diana: Well, I'm not gonna let you kill him! If she's beyond help, he's NOT! / Dave: Are you CRAZY??? Don't you see he's a cold-blooded murderer?
/ Mike: Okay, if we all just...
/ Diana: [[off-panel]] I suppose you think you're a lot better, you LASER MANIAC!
/ Mike: Shut UP, you two!
/ Dave and Diana: [[off-panel]] You stay out of this, Mike!
/ Mike: All right, will do, but first I want to point out that Margaret's still BREATHING! http://crfh.net/d/20050419.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike, Dave, Diana, Roger (as werecoyote) and an unconscious Margaret are all in the woods]]
/ Dave: You're gonna pay for this. Why did you tell me you killed her?
/ Roger: I actually never told you I...
/ Mike: The inanity! It burns!
/ Dave: Shut UP, Mike. Roger, get your dirty paws off her. We need to get her to a doctor.
/ Mike: Pfft! Yeah, right. Roger, YOU carry her.
/ Dave: Forget it. Give her to me. I'll manage.
/ Mike: Hell no. / Dave: Did your only brain cell just DIE? Why should I let that furry psycho carry Margaret?
/ Mike: Because I'm a tyrannical jerk who always demands unconditional obedience.
/ Mike: And since *I* have the car keys, and I'm gonna walk really fast and drive away while you stumble with her through the whole forest. / Dave: [[to Roger]] Right. okay, I *think* I can control myself. But only for her. And you? I am WATCHING you.
/ Diana: [[to Dave]] And *I* am watching YOU.
/ Mike: [[rolling his eyes]] And we are all voyeurs trapped in a sappy Sting song. http://crfh.net/d/20050420.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Margaret's awake in a hospital bed. She smiles down at Dave, who is asleep by her side]]
/ Dave: ZzzzZzzz / [[Dave wakes up]]
/ Dave: WHAT-? Uh, sorry. I fell asleep. Was I making you uncomfortable?
/ Margaret: Nah. I'm very glad to see you're fine.
/ Dave: Me? Of course I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?
/ Margaret: I had a bad dream. Are you sure nothing happened to you?
/ Dave: Uh, could I leave it at "I'm fine" and pretend I never heard your question? http://crfh.net/d/20050421.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Margaret lies in a hospital bed. Dave is by her side]]
/ Dave: You gave me a pretty big scare. Why did you run away like that?
/ Margaret: *sigh* I just wanted to be free. I just wanted Satan to leave you guys alone.
/ Dave: He's not gonna leave us alone, Margaret. Look at all the stuff that happened to me while you were away.
/ Margaret: Yeah, but that's just because he knows you love me. He knows you just can't let me go. / Dave: Well. Back at the raft... I was pretty pissed at you because you lied to me. but you're not to blame. After all, I blackmailed you into making promises. But I hated you at the time. And bad stuff just... kept happening.
/ Dave: And right now... I can't say I don't care about you. That would be a lie. But I...
/ Dave: Margaret... I just don't know if I love you anymore. So if you're gonna make a decision... / Margaret: Dave. Can I ask you a hypothetical question?
/ Dave: Uh? Sure...
/ Margaret: If I told you... that while I was away, I realized I loved you...
/ Margaret: What would you do?
/ Dave: ...
/ Dave: What? http://crfh.net/d/20050422.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | {{The previous day's conversation is continued}}
/ [[Margaret is in a hospital bed. Dave is by her side.]]
/ Dave: *SIIIGH* / Dave: Well then, I guess I'd say... I'd say:
/ Dave: "No, I'm sorry, Margaret. But if you ever want my love back, you, um..."
/ Dave: "You will have to EARN it." And then I'd run really fast and far away. Just, you know, in case.
/ [[Margaret's eyes widen]] / [[Margaret hugs Dave]]
/ Margaret: Dave.
/ Margaret: Thank you. / [[Margaret falls asleep, smiling. Dave is still partly hugging her, looking a bit confused.]] http://crfh.net/d/20050425.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Roger (in human form again, finally) and Mike are on the couch. Mike is eating a bucket of chicken]]
/ Roger: So... how's Margaret?
/ Mike: Doing fine. but why don't you go to the hospital and see for yourself?
/ Roger: No, thank you. If I pop my head around there Dave is gonna bite it off.
/ Mike: Can't say I blame him.
/ Roger: Yeah, well. I never actually said...
/ Mike: Save it, Roger. And next time you feel like ending it all? Have the decency of doing it YOURSELF. / Roger: All right, so I wanted to die. But I wasn't lying, Mike, I was just *wrong*. When I lose control of myself, I barely remember what I do. I had blood all over my muzzle, so I *thought* I hurt her.
/ Mike: Man, I have *seen* you losing control. She was still in one piece. I'm not buying it. Think of something BETTER. / Roger: Nggh. Well, I thought if I ever lost control of my human mind, I'd just kill her.
/ Roger: As it happened, I just licked her wounds, but I was not feeding on her blood. I was just trying to make her better, I guess...
/ Roger: I guess she's just part of MY pack.
/ Roger: You all are. / Mike: [[squinting sideways at Roger]] You're gonna try to use the Alpha Male argument to get my food again, aren't you?
/ Roger: [[shrugging]] Hey, I'm not Mother Nature. I don't make the rules... http://crfh.net/d/20050426.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave sits at a table talking to Chester]]
/ Dave: I am very sorry to tell you this, Chester, I know it's gonna break your heart...
/ Dave: But your shirt-diving days are over. / Dave: See, I finally told Margaret about our soul link.
/ Dave: Let's just say she was... less than pleased. / [[We see Dave has a black eye]]
/ Mike: Heh. I see you finally told Margaret about the soul link with Chester.
/ Dave: No, I, um... ran into a door? http://crfh.net/d/20050502.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike and Dave are talking at the table. Dave is holding Chester, while Mike is drinking a soda. Dave has a black eye.]]
/ Mike: Honestly, man, I don't know why you even take Margaret's crap. I mean, it's not like you're gonna get something out of it...
/ Dave: She... didn't hit me. I told you, I ran into a door...
/ Mike: Why do you even feel the need to lie for her?
/ Dave: I'm not lying. She didn't hit me. / Dave: Of course, she *was* chasing me around the room with a metal bedpan, when I ran into the door.
/ Dave: And when she saw I hurt myself, she went all sorry-sorry on me. Then she proceeded to smother me with her bosom. / [[Chester is now sitting on Dave's shoulder.]]
/ Dave: You know what women are?
/ Mike: Health hazards?
/ Dave: Health hazards. http://crfh.net/d/20050503.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike and Dave are talking at the table. Dave is holding Chester, while Mike is drinking a soda. Dave has a black eye.]]
/ Mike: Honestly, man, I don't know why you even take Margaret's crap. I mean, it's not like you're gonna get something out of it...
/ Dave: She... didn't hit me. I told you, I ran into a door...
/ Mike: Why do you even feel the need to lie for her?
/ Dave: I'm not lying. She didn't hit me. / Dave: Of course, she *was* chasing me around the room with a metal bedpan, when I ran into the door.
/ Dave: And when she saw I hurt myself, she went all sorry-sorry on me. Then she proceeded to smother me with her bosom. / [[Chester is now sitting on Dave's shoulder.]]
/ Dave: You know what women are?
/ Mike: Health hazards?
/ Dave: Health hazards. http://crfh.net/d/20050503.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike and Dave are talking at the table. Dave is holding Chester, while Mike is drinking a soda. Dave has a black eye.]]
/ Mike: Honestly, man, I don't know why you even take Margaret's crap. I mean, it's not like you're gonna get something out of it...
/ Dave: She... didn't hit me. I told you, I ran into a door...
/ Mike: Why do you even feel the need to lie for her?
/ Dave: I'm not lying. She didn't hit me. / Dave: Of course, she *was* chasing me around the room with a metal bedpan, when I ran into the door.
/ Dave: And when she saw I hurt myself, she went all sorry-sorry on me. Then she proceeded to smother me with her bosom. / [[Chester is now sitting on Dave's shoulder.]]
/ Dave: You know what women are?
/ Mike: Health hazards?
/ Dave: Health hazards. http://crfh.net/d/20050503.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike and Dave are talking at the table. Dave is holding Chester, while Mike is drinking a soda. Dave has a black eye.]]
/ Mike: Honestly, man, I don't know why you even take Margaret's crap. I mean, it's not like you're gonna get something out of it...
/ Dave: She... didn't hit me. I told you, I ran into a door...
/ Mike: Why do you even feel the need to lie for her?
/ Dave: I'm not lying. She didn't hit me. / Dave: Of course, she *was* chasing me around the room with a metal bedpan, when I ran into the door.
/ Dave: And when she saw I hurt myself, she went all sorry-sorry on me. Then she proceeded to smother me with her bosom. / [[Chester is now sitting on Dave's shoulder.]]
/ Dave: You know what women are?
/ Mike: Health hazards?
/ Dave: Health hazards. http://crfh.net/d/20050503.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike and Dave are talking at the table. Dave is holding Chester, while Mike is drinking a soda. Dave has a black eye.]]
/ Mike: Honestly, man, I don't know why you even take Margaret's crap. I mean, it's not like you're gonna get something out of it...
/ Dave: She... didn't hit me. I told you, I ran into a door...
/ Mike: Why do you even feel the need to lie for her?
/ Dave: I'm not lying. She didn't hit me. / Dave: Of course, she *was* chasing me around the room with a metal bedpan, when I ran into the door.
/ Dave: And when she saw I hurt myself, she went all sorry-sorry on me. Then she proceeded to smother me with her bosom. / [[Chester is now sitting on Dave's shoulder.]]
/ Dave: You know what women are?
/ Mike: Health hazards?
/ Dave: Health hazards. http://crfh.net/d/20050503.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike and Dave are talking. Chester is on Dave's shoulder. Dave has a black eye]]
/ Mike: So I guess if you REALLY are over Margaret, you're gonna obsess over Blue now.
/ Dave: Not really. Women confuse the hell outta me and my life it's too complicated right now. I'm through with love.
/ Mike: For how long?
/ Dave: For eh, I don't know. I don't even have money for dates. / [[Roger walks in]]
/ Mike: [[waggling his right hand]] Heh, well, you know what they say, Dave. You always go back to your "first love."
/ Dave: Laugh, I don't care. It's still cheaper than dinner and a movie.
/ Roger: Not really. Add all the money spent on lotion, glasses, and carpal tunnel surgery, and you 'll see there's nothing free in life.
/ Dave: EXCEPT for useless advice from dorks? http://crfh.net/d/20050504.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Marsha and Margaret are talking. Margaret is wearing a shirt that says "FRAG YOU", and is packing a bag]]
/ Marsha: You ready? It's almost time.
/ Margaret: Wait, I still have to give you your grenades.
/ Marsha: Grenades??? What do I want grenades for?
/ Margaret: What else? So you can fly over the enemy delivering hot death. You never know.
/ Marsha: But we're just going to the guys' apartment! / Margaret: Well *I* would do it, but since I got no cool mutation, I suppose it's gotta be you.
/ Marsha: Margaret, I have no intention of flying over no one delivering bombs. Just so you know.
/ Margaret: Pssch! Sorry! But with holy mutant potato bites comes great responsability. I read it somewhere. The Bible, I think. / [[Marsha is on the phone]]
/ Marsha: Hey Mike? Can we all meet here instead of your place? I don't think Margaret should go out.
/ Marsha: Nah, she's fine.
/ Marsha: I meant that in the best interests of the Western Hemisphere. http://crfh.net/d/20050505.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[Mike, Dave and Roger are sitting at a table. In that order.]]
/ Mike: Okay, everybody's here already. I bet you're all wondering what this meeting is about. So...
/ Dave: [[pointing at Roger]] Before we start, could someone switch places with me? I don't want to be sitting next to HIM.
/ Roger: Well, you ain't exactly Fidel Castro in a thong, sister! / [[April, Marsha and Margaret are sitting across the table from them]]
/ Marsha: Geez. You two are like little babies. All right, Dave you can take my seat.
/ Dave: [[off-panel]] Nah, I already have a black eye, thank you very much.
/ April: Could we hurry it up? "Desperate Social Lepers" is on in 15 minutes.
/ Margaret: Hey, you know what show is REALLY good? "Queer Eye for the Clumsy, Uncoordinated Guy!" http://crfh.net/d/20050506.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! | [[The whole gang is together]]
/ Mike: *Ahem* So, can we start with our NOES meeting?
/ Someone: [[off-panel]] What kind of a STUPID name is THAT?
/ Mike: "Nobody's Organization for the Eradication of Satan." / Mike: [[off-panel]] Now, I know "Mike's Organization" sounds a lot cooler, but SOMEONE opposed.
/ Dave: Well, *I* oppose by principle to anything you organize. Last time we had a meeting like this one, we all ended up stoned in a motel room.
/ Roger: Yeah, I say we have to invite Dave's kinky Christian friends if we ever want to get the same result! / Mike: Right. So, anyone has some other concern? I mean, anyone who *matters*.
/ April: I think "Satan Eradication" sounds a lot better.
/ Mike: [[rolling his eyes]] Yes, April. I'm going to lead a group called "NOSE." YES.
/ April: But NO ONE would ever guess you're leading! http://crfh.net/d/20050509.html |
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