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| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, February 20, 2008 | [[Blue Green stares in wide-eyed surprise at an empty dirt lot with some broken glass littering the dirt. To the left of the rectangular dirt lot is a pile of sticks on the grass. It is just past sunset, and the sky is a mottled purple-pink. A telephone pole to Blue's left holds up a flyer reading, "Belle Circus" and "Greatest Show on Earth." The flyer has flourishes at the top and bottom, and has a picture of a clown's head and neck ruffle next to the tagline. Another telephone pole is visible in the distance on the other side of the lot.]] {{There is no dialogue for this strip.}} http://crfh.net/d/20080220.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, February 21, 2008 | [[Dave's dorm, Roger is walking through the door.]] / Roger: Hey dork, why do you leave the door wide open? I know you don't have anything to steal, but still! / Nameless voice: Too many... stills... ugh... / Roger: What? Are you sounding sexy now? Just as I move out??? / Nameless voice: For the love of God... shut up. / [[It is revealed that Blue is lying on the couch]] / Roger: Aaaand case in point. Sheesh, Dave's making you sleep on the couch now? or are you one of those feminist chicks that completely confuse males by getting offended when someone lets them have the good stuff? / Blue: Roger. Come closer to my fist so I can let you have the good stuff. / Roger: Wow, it's like Mike never left. / Blue: I don't think Mike was shagging Dave, tho. / Roger: One of those feminist, really naive chicks. http://crfh.net/d/20080221.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, February 25, 2008 | [[Blue Green sits on the couch in the guys' room, clutching her temple in pain. Roger Pepitone rests one arm over the couch back, smirking. Blue is wearing a pink shirt and hairbands, and Roger is in purple.]]
/ Roger Pepitone: You know, I have a recipe to cure your hangover...
/ Blue Green: Does it involve leeches? Yeah, not interested... Anyway, this is not a hangover... I just didn't sleep last night.
/ Roger Pepitone: Oooh, haha, that explains a lot. So that's why Dave didn't go to class today. Can he even walk?
/ Blue Green: I like the way you think, Roger. But sadly, he wasn't even here.
/ Roger Pepitone: That does seem like an even more interesting tale. Mind if I take notes? / [[Blue looks up, opening her eyes. Roger's smirk is gone.]]
/ Blue Green: Nuh-uh, Roger. I'm serious. Where IS he?
/ Roger Pepitone: What, he disappeared again? Man, I'm telling you, that boy vanishes faster than a paycheck. Maybe he's back in the nunnery again.
/ Blue Green: Did he seriously join a nunnery??? What for?
/ Roger Pepitone: Who knows? Anyway, I wouldn't worry a lot. He'll turn up sooner or later, probably dressed in a kinky costume or sans clothes.
/ Blue Green: Do you have a fan club? Can I join? http://crfh.net/d/20080225.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, February 26, 2008 | [[Blue Green walks dejectedly to screen left, wearing a pink shirt and hairbands. A framed picture and a couch are in the background.]]
/ Blue Green (thinking): *SIGH* All that for nothing. Still no Dave or Marsha, no clue where to start looking, sooooo tired... / [[Louie Green walks by, stifling a laugh while glancing sidelong at her. Edvard Munch's The Scream is visible in the background. Blue's eyes pop open in surprise.]]
/ Louie Green: *snicker* / [[Blue Green smiles evilly. Looking to camera, she raises her right hand with the index finger extended as if making a point. A statue of an angel is visible in the background.]]
/ Blue Green (thinking): But the smell of blood is BETTER than a good night's sleep. http://crfh.net/d/20080226.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, February 27, 2008 | [[Blue goes back and catches up with Louie. A painting of Edvard Munch's "Madonna" is hanging on the wall.]]
/ Blue: Hey Louie. I just wanted to say, good job frying the Tomato-man.
/ Louie: Heh. Thanks. A masterpiece, I know. Do you have another job for me?
/ Blue: Well, no. I mean, there IS a job. But someone else is doing it.
/ Louie: Aaaw! What, no tasering?
/ Blue: Oh yeah. Lots of tasering. I even have a new model that's not even LEGAL yet.
/ Louie: For real??? Look, I'll do it. Half the price, c'mon. / Blue: Nah. I'm sure you wouldn't be up for it. Besides...
/ Blue: I haven't even asked Tommy, but I'm SURE he's gonna do it.
/ Blue: For FREE, even.
/ [[Louie looks slightly dismayed as Blue grins evilly.]] http://crfh.net/d/20080227.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, February 28, 2008 | Louie: Wait... I don't get it.
/ Blue: What.
/ Louie: He knows you can pay. So why would he do it for free?
/ Blue: It could be satisfying.
/ Louie: What, more than MONEY?
/ Blue: On a personal level.
/ Louie: Huh???
/ Blue: [[growing more exasperated]] Like... a revenge.
/ Louie: Against who?
/ Blue: You. / Louie: For what, for tasering him? OOOOOOH. I get it now! It's an economic thing, right!
/ Blue: ...
/ Louie: [[not looking at Blue]] If he tasers people for free, then you wouldn't hire me! And then he starts charging, and so he gets all the money and not me!
/ [[Blue makes a face like she wants to strangle Louie.]]
/ Blue: Llllooouie...
/ Louie: Well, I could do it for free too! Only I could do it FOREVER! HAH! That'll teach him!
/ Blue: *malfunction* / [[An angry Blue grabs Louie by the shirt and appears ready to pound on him.]]
/ Blue: Listen up you little idiot, it's just not worth it being subtle around you! Therefore forget Tommy, if you don't start spilling the beans RIGHT THIS SECOND, you're going to have a cranium to match the size of your brain!
/ Louie: What's a cra-?
/ Blue: OH NO DON'T EVEN ASK!
/ Louie: Alright already GEEZ! It's not like *I* sold your boyfriend to Uncle!
/ Blue: [[enraged]] You didn't WHAT??? http://crfh.net/d/20080228.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, February 29, 2008 | [[Blue, still grasping Louie by the shirt, eyes Louie.]]
/ Blue: Louie... what did you do to Dave?
/ Louie: Wellllll I tasered him a little bit! But Jay told me to do it!
/ Blue: Jay. Uh-huh. So, what did you do then?
/ Louie: I... sort of drugged him a little bit.
/ Blue: A little bit.
/ Louie: I was following instructions! Then Jay made a call to Uncle Vernon...
/ Blue: Uncle Freaking Vernon Damascus. / Louie: Yup, and then we put him in a plane and then we went to get Flrrdies. I got kiwi-ham and Jay got...
/ Blue: Sshh. Quiet, kid. I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to scar you for life.
/ Louie: Hey now... I've got nothing against that dude, it was just work for hire! So uh, no hard feelings?
/ Blue: Louie... do you understand that it's not really that hard to handle a stun gun? You're making enemies, and that's why you're paid.
/ Louie: Aw... is this one of those economic thingies?
/ Blue: [[smiling evilly at Louie]] Yeah. One where the pain supply is infinite. http://crfh.net/d/20080229.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, March 3, 2008 | [[Margaret and Roger are by the mailboxes on the first floor of the apartment building.]]
/ Roger: Hey, Margaret. Have you seen Dave around?
/ Margaret: Sheesh. Why does everybody ask me about Dave?
/ Roger: Because he's like your sweet baboon, and all that?
/ Margaret: He's not my sweet baboon, Roger. He has a GIRLFRIEND now.
/ Roger: Really? Good. Maybe since he no longer has an excuse to be emo-tastic, he decided to end it all.
/ Margaret: Is there a point to this conversation?
/ Roger: Well, yeah. Listen, since you're the one that lives next door, could you like feed his stink beasts so he doesn't come back to a pile of tiny furry corpses?
/ Margaret: Oh GREAT. Sure, like I don't do that every third day anyway.
/ Roger: Are you pissed at him or something? / Margaret: [[annoyed]] Well YEAH DUH. I'm pissed at him, and I'm pissed at you. Questions?
/ Roger: YOU are pissed at Dave? What did he do, rally for gun control?
/ Margaret: I'm mad at him because he wasn't taking NOES seriously, and also because he punched you for a stupid reason and that made you quit NOES.
/ Roger: Woman, I TOLD you I didn't quit NOES. I was just protesting because you always were treating him better.
/ Margaret: Well, I DID cut him some slack with his training because he can't really afford to eat that well.
/ Margaret: I wasn't going to say something like that in front of him. You could have ASKED. And THAT is why I'm pissed at YOU. http://crfh.net/d/20080303.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, March 4, 2008 | [[Roger Pepitone and Margaret B. Browning are facing each other in front of the mailboxes. Roger is wearing a purple shirt and is crossing his arms over it, looking mad. Margaret is wearing a shirt with an angry Ninja Turtle head emblazoned on the front looking surprised.]]
/ Roger Pepitone: Huh. You know, that's a huge pile of it. Call it Bulluga Mountain.
/ Margaret B. Browning: What?
/ Roger Pepitone: You didn't only pamper Dave with the training. You did it ALL the time. Remember when he totally blew it at Joe's?
/ Margaret B. Browning: Joe was in the back seat. It was not a good time to bicker about...
/ Roger Pepitone: Margaret, I respect you, but just admit it. I don't blame you. / [[Margaret turns away, looking mad. Roger's hands are in his pockets now, and he looks a bit concerned.]]
/ Margaret B. Browning: All right. You know what? I do. I admit that I pampered him and I can't help it. I'm a terrible leader and that's why I quit NOES. Can I move on with my life now?
/ Roger Pepitone: Hey, you're not a terrible leader. Besides, Mike wanted you to lead. What about that?
/ Margaret B. Browning: SCREW Mike.
/ Roger Pepitone: Sorry, not into necrophilia at ALL.
/ Margaret B. Browning: I didn't mean YOU, it was... Oh, screw YOU.
/ Roger Pepitone: And they say *I* have a one-track mind. http://crfh.net/d/20080304.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, March 5, 2008 | [[Davey's mom stops by his room before shutting of the lights and going to bed, and sees Davey already lying in bed, rapped in his covers.]]
/ Mom: Goodnight, Davey.
/ Davey: Goodnight, Mom. / [[Davey sits up on his bed, revealing he still has all of his clothes on. He puts on his shoes.]] / [[He smiles and hums to himself.]]
/ Davey:&heart;¬e;&heart; http://crfh.net/d/20080305.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, March 6, 2008 | [[Davey runs through on the sidewalk, passing a building and a lamp post]] / [[He hides behind a tree and cautiously peeks out]] / [[He sees the silhouette of a curvaceous woman]] / [[He quickly hides behind the tree completely, smiling mischievously and sighting to himself.]]
/ Davey: <<&heart;SIIIIIGH&heart;>> / [[Suddenly, his smile turns to a worried frown when he hears a voice coming from behind the tree.]]
/ Voice: Hey, you!
/ I know you're out there! http://crfh.net/d/20080306.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, March 7, 2008 | [[Flashback: A high-school-aged Margaret, wearing braces and getting ready for bed, leans out her bedroom window after having spotted someone on her front lawn.]]
/ Margaret: You can't fool me, you know! Come out so I can kick your ASS!
/ Margaret's mom: [[off-panel]] Margaret! LANGUAGE!
/ Margaret: But Mom! There's a PERVERT in the front yard!
/ Margaret: I'm coming down now! Your doom shall rain down upon YOU, pervy! / [[Dave, still hiding behind the tree, becomes afraid.]]
/ Dave: [[thinking]] OhmyGod, get away from the window already so I can leave! Please!
/ Margaret's dad: [[off-panel]] Margaret! I have to WORK tomorrow!
/ Margaret: [[off-panel]] Sorry! I'll try to be quieter while killing! / [[Margaret jumps out of the window and onto the branches of a nearby tree, then jumps down onto the ground.]]
/ Dave: [[thinking]] HOLY
/ Dave: [[thinking]] LIVING / Dave: [[thinking]] [[obscured]]!
/ [[Margaret is now crouched on the lawn, a few feet away from the tree Dave is hiding behind. Dave is deathly afraid.]] http://crfh.net/d/20080307.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, March 10, 2008 | [[This strip is in black and white. Young Margaret B. Browning stands defiantly in front of her house, clad in a spaghetti strap tank top.]]
/ Margaret B. Browning: I know you're behind that tree!
/ Margaret B. Browning: So come out right now and maybe I'll just beat you up.
/ Margaret B. Browning: I don't have any shoes on. So if you make me chase you around the dirty street I'm also going to turn you over to the cops. / [[Young David Jones cowers behind a tree clad in a T-shirt, looking distinctly fearful for his life. His eyes are trained as far behind him as possible, trying to peer around the tree trunk without turning to face it.]]
/ Margaret B. Browning: I'm going to count to three.
/ Margaret B. Browning: One.
/ Margaret B. Browning: Two. / [[Young David Jones cautiously pulls his head around the trunk, exposing one eye widened with fright.]]
/ David Jones: Uh... Okay...
/ David Jones: Look, I'm s- / [[Behind Young Margaret B. Browning, a large explosion erupts.]]
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20080310.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, March 11, 2008 | [[This strip is in black and white. Young David Jones kneels over Young Margaret B. Browning's unconscious form. Margaret's house is dimly visible behind them, on fire.]]
/ David Jones: Oh my God Margaret! Are you hurt? Ow! Jesus! Your hair's on fire! Owowow!
/ David Jones: You're okay! You're okay you're okay you'reokay / [[Young David Jones is carrying Young Margaret B. Browning. Her head is leaning back over his arm and her arms hang limp. Dave looks at Margaret, eyes wide full of concern. The fire in the house has broken through the roof in places.]]
/ David Jones: We have to get out of here! We're too close to the fire!
/ David Jones: Can you even hear me? I can't hear a thing! / [[Over Young David Jones' shoulder, a dark van pulls up on the street in front of them. Its headlights carve a bright cone to frame right through the overall darkness. Dave's eyes are wide with fright and surprise, and his mouth is open. Margaret's still-smoking hair is visible at the bottom of the frame.]] http://crfh.net/d/20080311.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, March 13, 2008 | Dave: Hey, could you guys help me? There's a girl over there and she needs medical attention!
/ Brazil: Sure, kid, why the hell not? http://crfh.net/d/20080313.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, March 14, 2008 | Dave: HUH!
/ Dave: ...what? / Dave: YOU!
/ Vernon: So...yeah, about that ruined engagement party... http://crfh.net/d/20080314.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave is strapped to the wall somewhere inside Vernon's base on Dundun Island. He struggles to get free from his metal bonds, but it's no use. Vernon, holding a cigar, watches him.]]
/ Dave: [[angry]] What the HELL are these things??? Let me go!
/ Vernon: I suggest you stop struggling. You'd sooner break your own arms than get free.
/ Vernon: I'd like to see your Animal Planet reject friend get out of THIS one.
/ Dave: AARGH! I can not BELIEVE I'm back in this sucky place! Who are you and what do you want from me??
/ Vernon: No, no. See, the one clamped to the wall answers the questions.
/ Vernon: Questions like: Who are YOU and who are you working for? / Dave: I'm nobody special and I don't have a job! What kind of a stupid question is that?
/ Vernon: Bad answer. Let's see, you're a laser-enhanced kid who wrecked my base and then shows up as the boyfriend of my future stepdaughter.
/ Dave: Uh... it's just a coincidence!
/ Vernon: Not to mention you were around that time we saved Dr. Sydney from that explosion.
/ Dave: ...
/ Vernon: There are no such things as coincidences.
/ Dave: WHAT??? http://crfh.net/d/20080331.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[David Jones is bound to a wall by a metal band across his chest and one over each arm. Dave's eyebrow is crooked, and one eye is half-closed. Vernon Damascus smokes a cigar, standing about two feet away. His eyes are half-lidded, gazing sidelong at Dave.]]
/ David Jones: Wait. You know what? Forget it.
/ David Jones: I'm not buying anything. This is stupid. Why are you asking me these questions?
/ Vernon Damascus: Like I said, I don't believe in coincidences.
/ David Jones: BU*****T. Mike was my roommate, and I mutated, and this all happened long before Blue even knew about me and I fell in love with her.
/ David Jones: It was you guys who brought me here in the first place. I don't even know your stupid name, or what you do in this island. And I don't CARE.
/ Vernon Damascus: What about the explosion, sonny? Explain THAT. / [[Camera shifts to profile shot. Dave leans forward, looking earnest, while Vernon looks smugly at him.]]
/ David Jones: Look, I lived enough time with Mike to know you're just playing a mind game on me.
/ David Jones: You don't want information, because you would be torturing me for it like you did with Roger. And if you wanted to kill me you would have just done so.
/ David Jones: I'm not even blindfolded when I could be killing you right this second.
/ Vernon Damascus: Heh! Well, you're not as dumb as they say, I see.
/ David Jones: What do you WANT from me?
/ Vernon Damascus: Not a foreplay guy, huh? Very well. I want you on my payroll. http://crfh.net/d/20080402.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave is strapped to a wall somewhere inside Vernon Damascus' base on Dundun Island. Vernon, unlit cigar in mouth, is facing him.]]
/ Dave: Doing what, exactly? Spitting in the face of Mother Nature?
/ Vernon: You could be the most valuable assassin in the world. Earn millions. Be somebody.
/ Dave: [[glaring at Vernon]] Somebody who kills people.
/ Vernon: Bah. All my enemies are evil. You'd be doing a favor to mankind, really.
/ Dave: I bet all your FRIENDS are evil, too.
/ Vernon: Hey, you don't have to attend my parties if you don't want.
/ Vernon: Plus, you can pick a country and rule it. And we have moonbounces in the break room.
/ Dave: Nope. Sorry, I balk at the killing part. / Vernon: Aaaw. Well. It was worth a shot.
/ Vernon: I suppose I'd better let you go, right?
/ < http://crfh.net/d/20080404.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Montage of events during Dave's attempted escape from Dundun Island. Dave, still wearing the high-tech arm shackles, runs down a hallway with several of Vernon's goons in pursuit.]] / [[A figure, engulfed in flames, appears at the other end of the hallway and blocks Dave's path. Dave turns back, but is now trapped between the goons and the figure on fire.]] / [[Dave uses his lasers to zap the lead goon of the armed group chasing him.]] / [[Dave, eyes still glowing blue, is surprised by a grenade thrown at him.]] / [[Dave, hands over his head, runs away from the exploding grenade.]] / [[Dave ducks behind a corner. Bullets ricochet off the wall of the hallway he'd just vacated. Dave finds that he now has a nosebleed caused by overuse of his lasers. He doesn't see the robotic arm that is reaching out to grasp him.]] http://crfh.net/d/20080407.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Brazil, in his new robotic form and looking angry, grasps Dave around the neck.]]
/ Dave: URK
/ Brazil: [[mechanical voice]] Long time... *bzzt* no see... you lab specimen... *chhkt* / [[Hazel and Vernon are sitting on a blue couch in Vernon's bedroom with game controllers in their hands. They are apparently playing a game... with Dave in it.]]
/ Hazel: [[licking her lips]] Hahah! You lose!
/ Vernon: [[smiling]] Aw, that's not fair! You keep using the Brazil cheat code!
/ Hazel: It's not a cheat code if you intimidate the programmer into telling you about it! http://crfh.net/d/20080410.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Inside a laboratory room, Dave is lying on a table wearing a helmet which covers most of his head. Electrodes are positioned on his chest, and a tube feeds him oxygen. There is a blue glow coming through the helmet, giving a brownish tinge to the blood seeping from his nose. Behind him, scientists are monitoring him and examining test results.]]
/ Vernon: [[through an intercom]] How is it going in there? Is the test going well?
/ Berlin: Yes, sir. We have a very, VERY good range of data.
/ Random scientist: [[looking at monitor]] I'm mesmerized by all the pretty!
/ Vernon: [[through the intercom]] Very well. You can stop the simulation now.
/ Berlin: Aaaaw.
/ Vernon: [[through the intercom]] There will be time for sciencegasms later, Berlin. That kid seems distressed, and we don't want to damage him too much.
/ Berlin: Right away, sir. / [[The scene shifts to Vernon and Hazel in another room. Hazel has her cell phone in one hand.]]
/ Vernon: It seems like the little elves are done. We had some fun, tho, didn't we?
/ Hazel: Oh, yeah! But I'm glad it's over.
/ Vernon: Why is that, my dove?
/ Hazel: Well, I want to get back to Blondie Business.
/ Vernon: Ah, yes. I think you will be pleased with the new developments.
/ Hazel: Plus, I have 478 lost calls from Blue. I want to be able to use this thing sometime. http://crfh.net/d/20080411.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Inside a laboratory room, Dave is lying on a table wearing a helmet which covers most of his head. Electrodes are positioned on his chest, and a tube feeds him oxygen. There is a blue glow coming through the helmet, giving a brownish tinge to the blood seeping from his nose. Behind him, scientists are monitoring him and examining test results.]]
/ Vernon: [[through an intercom]] How is it going in there? Is the test going well?
/ Berlin: Yes, sir. We have a very, VERY good range of data.
/ Random scientist: [[looking at monitor]] I'm mesmerized by all the pretty!
/ Vernon: [[through the intercom]] Very well. You can stop the simulation now.
/ Berlin: Aaaaw.
/ Vernon: [[through the intercom]] There will be time for sciencegasms later, Berlin. That kid seems distressed, and we don't want to damage him too much.
/ Berlin: Right away, sir. / [[The scene shifts to Vernon and Hazel in another room. Hazel has her cell phone in one hand.]]
/ Vernon: It seems like the little elves are done. We had some fun, tho, didn't we?
/ Hazel: Oh, yeah! But I'm glad it's over.
/ Vernon: Why is that, my dove?
/ Hazel: Well, I want to get back to Blondie Business.
/ Vernon: Ah, yes. I think you will be pleased with the new developments.
/ Hazel: Plus, I have 478 lost calls from Blue. I want to be able to use this thing sometime. http://crfh.net/d/20080411.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Hazel and Vernon are talking inside Vernon's base on Dundun Island.]]
/ Vernon: Now that you know that it is in fact Michael's baby, what is to be done about it?
/ Hazel: Mmh. I don't know yet. Do I really have to rush this decision? It doesn't feel right.
/ Vernon: Yes. We're not using drugs to not harm the fetus. But of course, that hypnotic state will only work safely for some days.
/ Hazel: And the stress of being here awake could be bad, too. I get the picture. / Vernon: So, those are options. But we're running out of time. You will have to decide soon.
/ Hazel: Oh, I know what I WANT. I want to keep that baby.
/ Vernon: Very well. If that's your wish, you shall have it.
/ Hazel: But I don't know if I really want to bring just another adoptee home.
/ Hazel: This one is Mike's. My own flesh and blood. There are privileges associated. / Hazel: Well.
/ Hazel: What do YOU think, Vernon?
/ Vernon: *I* think you're too young to be a grandmother.
/ Hazel: Yes, I am. But... you know?
/ Hazel: I'm not too old to be a MOM. http://crfh.net/d/20080414.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Margaret is sitting on the couch in Dave's apartment, studying. The kittens are playing on her, with Britanny in her hair, Spooky on her shoulder, and Tybalt shirt-diving.]]
/ Margaret: Well, heheh, you SURE are Chester's kittens! How am I supposed to study with all this cuteness distraction? / [[Margaret snuggles Spooky and Tybalt in her arms, with Tybalt looking at her.]]
/ Margaret: Who's a pretty kitteh? Mmmh? Who's your momma? Who is a KYYYYYYUUUUUUTE....?
/ <<*click*>> / [[The door opens. A worn-out Dave enters, with blood streaks on his face and bloody spots on his shirt.]] http://crfh.net/d/20080416.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[A tired Dave sits on the couch, as Margaret hands him a cup of coffee.]]
/ Margaret: Well you show up in your underwear, still druggy and with a nosebleed. Maybe you guys should slow down the party?
/ Dave: I wasn't partying, Margaret. I got kidnapped.
/ Margaret: Kidnapped??? For ransom? PFFT!
/ Dave: It was Mike's mom. And some other people. I dunno.
/ Dave: It's... I am... I have no idea what happened or why. I'm just glad I'm home.
/ Dave: Maybe it's for the best I don't remember. It was probably unpleasant. / [[Margaret sits down as Dave sips his coffee.]]
/ Margaret: So, Mike's Mom. Wow, I guess this means she disapproves of your relationship with Blue, right?
/ Dave: I... I think it had nothing to do with Blue. I think.
/ Margaret: RRRRRIGHT. So, Blue comes to pick you up in the middle of the night, and you vanish. Uh! HUH!
/ Dave: Did she? It's all hazy to me.
/ Margaret: Well, she told me she would. And where was she while you were held captive?
/ Dave: I haven't seen her. But that doesn't mean a thing? http://crfh.net/d/20080418.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Margaret and Dave are sitting on the couch with cups of coffee.]]
/ Margaret: Well, so you're safe and home. Still, these people hurt you, didn't they? Aren't you angry?
/ Dave: I'm too tired to feel anything. Besides, what's the point?
/ Margaret: I could kick their asses. Do you want me to? Say yes and leave everything to me. They will regret being the first to reach the ovum.
/ Dave: Margaret, these guys have a huge underwater base in the middle of the ocean.
/ Margaret: Well, I have PLASTICS. Yes or no? / [[Dave smiles at Margaret.]]
/ Dave: Heh. No, thank you. But don't think I don't appreciate it.
/ Dave: If you can't show your tender side without explosions and mayhem, I'll accept what I can get.
/ Dave: Unless you're alone and surrounded by kittens, that is.
/ Margaret: *GULP*
/ [[Margaret blushes as she swallows her coffee.]] / [[Blue enters the apartment and looks at Dave, stunned.]]
/ Blue: Dave / [[Blue runs over to Dave and buries her head in his embrace as she begins to babble her explanation.]]
/ Blue: I'm SORRY! I'msorryI'msosorryDave, I swear to God I turned around to look for you but you were gone and I didn't know what to do, oh God you must hate me it's all my fault, she did this to you to PUNISH me for daring to get [[obscured]]e t[[obscured]] me you were g[[obscured]] go [[obscured]] of the line and [[obscured]] And t[[obscured]]d [[obscured]] calli[[obscured]]N'T ANS[[obscured]] an[[obscured]] you[[obscured]] g[[obscured]]
/ Dave: It's okay, baby. It's not your fault.
/ [[Margaret is suspicious as she listens.]]
/ Margaret: [[thinking]] Huh. The JURY is still out on YOU, pigtails.
/ Margaret: [[thinking]] But I'm WATCHING. http://crfh.net/d/20080421.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave and Blue sitting on the couch in Dave's apartment. Blue is wiping away tears.]]
/ Blue: This time she went too far. But I'm going to make her PAY.
/ Dave: What? No! Blue, didn't you learn anything? How many more people is going to get hurt because of your vendettas???
/ Blue: She and that moustached bastard. I'll get them both. It's not revenge, it's JUSTICE! It's...
/ Dave: I don't CARE what it is! I don't care what she did to me, I don't want you to do evil things! I don't want you to be evil!
/ Blue: Too late for that.
/ Dave: Blue, she kidnapped me and let me go. You have to LIVE with that monster! I don't want you to get punished because of me! Forget it, okay??? / [[Blue looks stricken. Dave takes her hands in his.]]
/ Blue: I don't care if she punishes me. Screw her and her goons, I...
/ Dave: Look, Blue. Do you really want to get back at your mother? It's really hard, but it's doable.
/ Blue: Really? I'd do anything.
/ Dave: Don't be like her. That's what she WANTS. Go and ask her to release April unharmed.
/ Blue: What?
/ Dave: It's guaranteed to drive her absolutely BONKERS. http://crfh.net/d/20080423.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | Blue: Are you SURE you don't want me to stay with you tonight?
/ Dave: I'm fine, really. Besides, I can't miss more classes.
/ Blue: Aaaw. okay. call me?
/ Dave: Sure, I'll give you a call tomorrow. Take care.
/ Blue: Sex ya later then. / Dave: ... / Dave: AAAAHAARGH!!! http://crfh.net/d/20080425.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave, no longer being able to contain his anger, hyperventilates as his eyes glow blue and his fists shake.]]
/ Dave: *HUFF* *HUFF* *HUFF* / [[Dave suddenly gets a massive headache, and blood starts to drip from his nose.]]
/ Dave: UGH! JESUS GOD! OW! S[[obscured]]! OWWW!
/ Dave: ow very ow / [[A subdued Dave holds his bleeding nose.]]
/ Dave: I *can't* afford to be angry. http://crfh.net/d/20080428.html |
| College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives | [[Dave and Margaret are in class.]]
/ Dave: Uh... say, Margaret, I'm very grateful for you taking care of the kittens, but... did you feed Chester as well?
/ Margaret: Well, I did leave him some food, but I don't think he touched it.
/ Dave: Umm. But have you seen him at ALL these days?
/ Margaret: Nope. Maybe Roger knows where he is.
/ Dave: Roger? Why would Roger know? He doesn't even live with me anymore.
/ Margaret: Yeah, but he was the one who told me to feed the kittens while you were away. / [[Dave catches up with Roger outside.]]
/ Dave: ROGER! Hey Rog, wait up!
/ Roger: Hey dork! I knew you'd turn up sooner or later! See ya, I gotta take this to the library and then I must get to my training!
/ Dave: But wait! Listen, have you seen Chester? I can't find him anywhere!
/ Roger: Oh yeah, that! Joe is taking care of him. KTHXBYE!
/ Dave: [[shocked]] Did you just SAY that the what WHAT??? http://crfh.net/d/20080505.html |
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