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College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Paul: Mmmh. Mhhm. MMH. / [[Roger, who is "competing" with a dumbstruck Dave, sweatdrops]] / [[Roger runs off, and yells from off panel...]] / Roger: AAARGH! Whatevs, I don't care! I LOSE! / Paul: And HOW!
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Mike: Listen, woman! Twice in a row, that's sort of BAD, isn't it? Just let me take you to- / April: GETTHEHELLAWAY FROMMELEAVEME ALONE! / Marsha: Mike, what the...? What happened to your tentacle??? / Mike: Um. Nothing? Okay, April bit me. No biggie... / Marsha: WHAT? Are you serious? I'm gonna... / Mike: No! Look, I sort of had it coming. / Marsha: Uh-HUH. BULL. You need to get this disinfected. / Mike: Nooo! / Marsha: Yeah, right! C'mon, you need an tetanus shot and probably a RABIES one too! / Marsha: I only can hope you don't become a were-bitch at some point!
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Roger, still zooming away from Paul and Dave, tries to stop as he rushes towards Diana]]
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Roger barrels into Diana, and they experience a mouth-to-mouth impact!]] / Roger: MMMPHH!!! / Diana: ???!!! / [[The two are on the ground, and Diana, overcome with heartiness, holds on tight]] / Diana: Oh Roger! I knew you'd be back! I love you too! / Roger: Uh, wait a sec, Di, wait / Diana: You are mine now! MINE! / Roger: Butbutbutit was an ACCIDENT, let me go / Diana: Ne-VAH! / [[Roger attempts to escape, but Diana is now on top of him, still locked in hearty rapture]] / Roger: AAAARGH no piggyback! Di, I'm serious! I'm OFF-LIMITS! Let go! / Diana: We're gonna be happy and have so many children that will be happy! / Roger: HELP! HELP ME, I 'm being molested in public, SCANDAL! / Diana: We're getting surgically JOINED FOREVER!
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Mike: Wait, where are you going? / Marsha: I got stuff to do. And No, you can't come with me. It's secret. / Mike: Aw, not fair. / Marsha: Cht! Behave. / [[Marsha leaves and Margaret enters]] / Margaret: Man, what IS up with Dave??? / Mike: What, now? / Margaret: He's just around the corner in some sort of catatonic state, and no matter what I can't get him to move! / Mike: Psh! he's probably just brainwarped or something. / Margaret: Well, can you help him? I'm late for my class. / Mike: Sure thing. Count on it. / [[Margaret departs, leaving Mike to add on this thought...]] / Mike: ...just after we have a little talk about tattling to a certain calculus teacher...
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Mike prepares by confirming he is in fine voice and by LIMBER LIMBER LIMBERing his tentacle]] / Mike: Mhmhmn *AHEM* / [[Preparations move on to some knuckle/joint POP CRACK POP, with perhaps an aspect of mental focus going on in that thoughtful expression]] / [[It's GO TIME!]] / Mike: YYYOUUUUU!!! / [[Awesome shot of Dave being forced back into an awareness of the world, thanks to SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCT FINALLY KICKING IN]]
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Diana still has Roger in piggybacklock]] / Roger: Saaaaay Di, here's and IDEA... What if we get into the girl's bathroom and... you know. Go WILD? / Diana: Ooohohohoy. ROWR! / [[Next, we see werecoyote Roger slipping out of the bathroom carrying his clothes]] / [[Next, we see a disheveled Diana exiting, yelling after the now-off-panel Roger...]] / Diana: Sooooo NOT what I had in MIND, Roger!!!
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[A speedy blur ZOOMs past Roger]] / Dave: OUTTA MY WAY! / [[Mike, who was in pursuit, is out of endurance and stops when he reaches Roger]] / Mike: Huff puff, what the Hell, what has that guy been EATING, swear to God - / Roger: Margaret went cardio-crazy on us while you were dead. What's with the bandage? / Mike: Meh, April. CRAZY. Hhey, what's with her, do you know? She fainted HHG, TWICE a while ago... / Roger: Maybe she's pregnant, LOL / [[Mike freezes up in reaction to the news]] / Roger: Aw, Come on, man! Are you guys tag-teaming on me or what??? / Mike: *
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Mike: No... no, wait, that can't be. It can't be, right? She'd tell us. She would know. / Roger: Know??? Mike, you're aware there are pregnancy tests. No essay questions there. / Mike: She would know by now! It'd show! / Roger: Whu? Okay, it doesn't always show. Athletic females sometimes can hide it pretty well. / Mike: That can't be. She'd tell me. Oh my god. / Roger: For reals! Some females don't even know they're pregnant, and at some point they go potty and BAM! Baby in toilet! Always look before flushing, that's what I always say. / Mike: This is gross and a terrible lie and why am I even listening to YOU of all people??? / Roger: This primal terror you're feeling? You know it's true, Mike. You know it in your heart! / Mike: Goddammit I know NUTHIN'.
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave has run way more than he needed to to ditch Mike (yay, training and food!)]] / Dave: [[thinks]] I can't keep on running! I can't... huh? He's GONE! / Dave: [[thinks]] Lost him! Thank God! / Dave: [[thinks]] Oh man, I'm dead! What am I gonna do now??? Mike's gonna kill me, the DRAGON's gonna resurrect me and neuter me and then kill me again! And my kid is going to have a eunuch zombie loser daddy! / [[Margaret appears, startling Dave into ZIPping up off-panel into a tree, with...]] / Margaret: Uuuh Dave? What are you running away from? / Dave: YOW!
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives [[Dave is lying on the branch of a tree, while Margaret stands on the ground below]] / Margaret: Uh Dave. What are you doing up there? / Dave: What... what does it look like? / Margaret: It looks like you're so badly frightened that you had a... Chester reaction. / Dave: Uh...no. I'm... exercising. You know, running around, climbing trees. Got to keep the butt shapely. / Margaret: Uh-HUH. And Mike was running after you because he was exercising. Give me a break. / Dave: Okay. so I was running away. Can you blame me? The guy's psychotic. / Margaret: Well, what did you do to make angry? / Dave: I didn't do anybody. Er, nothing. / Margaret: HUM. Okay, Mike's not here. So why don't you come down already so we can talk about it? / Dave: He might come back? / Margaret: Well, I'm gonna kick his ass if he tries to hurt you. So, come on down. / Dave: Uhhhhh no.
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Steve: Wait, wait. Look who's there! / Waldo: Huh. You're right, let's go before they see us. / Steve: Okay, let's be cautious about this. You're right, we should just follow them. / Waldo: You so crazy, baby. we can't take on the werecoyote and Mike. I mean in PUBLIC. / Steve We'll just wait for the dog to leave. He will sooner or later. They can't stand each other! / Waldo: I'm telling ya, Steve. It's not cold enough to be burnt at a stake. / Steve: No, you dumbass. Remember? The ritual. Supposedly we can control Mike now. But you're right, we have to wait and see. / Waldo: Oh, wow! You're' right! Hahaha, new slave forever! / Steve: Duh, yeah, that's the point. / Waldo: We're going to have someone to do the dishes! Dress like a butler! Bake us cookies! / Steve Ummm... / Waldo: Read us bedtime stories! / Steve: ...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Dave: It's not that I don't trust you, Margaret. it's just that I know you're gonna be pissed and kill my ass, that's all. / Margaret: Dave, I'm supposed to be your friend. Next time YOU want to help me, guess what I'm gonna say. / Dave: You always do anyway. / Margaret: Tell me what's troubling you or I hit you in the face. / Dave: Aaaw... / Dave: O... okay. Margaret, I'm in SO much trouble. Mike wants to kill me, he's serious about it, and my lasers... / Margaret: Are you positive? You know how Mike likes to play mind games on you. Is it not a bluff? / Dave: Uh... no, no, I'm sure. / Margaret: Why? / Dave: Because. Um. / Dave: Blueisgonna haveababy. / Dave: And of course. Iiiiiiiii----
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Margaret: ... / Margaret: GodDAMMIT DAVE! I'm not gonna hit you, even if I SHOULD! Why did you have to be so STUPID??? / Dave: Uh... I'm normally stupid, but it was nothing I did! I mean, we were being all responsible and using protection and whatnot... / Margaret: AAAARGH! Man, I'm so angry at you! Now you're... ugh. I can't even SAY it. Confound it! / Dave: I'm sorry! It just happened, Margaret! Can you please not add to my already humongous pile of problems??? / Margaret: *SIGH* All right. Leave Mike to me. Try to lay low in the meantime, okay? / Dave: Okay. T-thank y- / Margaret: Don't believe I'm not going to beat you up at some point soon. / Dave: Hottie, you better get in line, or even better, get a TICKET!
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Mike: No, wait, this is ridiculous. This is just too ridiculous to be true. And you, coyote, you know even less than *I* do about this! / Roger: Seriously Mike, you can totally check it out online. / Mike: No! dammit, why did I ever entertain this notion??? She is NOT pregnant. Period! / Roger: Well, maybe it's not. Period, I mean. And I heard that sometimes... / Mike: Noooooo! Not listening! AAARGH! / Roger: I'm not saying she's pregnant, Mike, I'm just saying you should consider the possibility and start thinking what you gonna do in that case, and... / Mike: No! She's not pregnant! Leeeliiiilooolaaaluuulaaleee! / [[Mike exits, stage left, as Margaret appears from the other direction]] / Margaret: Wooooow. Man, denial is not just a hotel in Las vegas, I see. / Roger: Poor fella! he will have to grow up and mature really fast. / Margaret: Wooooow. Man, Delusion is not just a Criss Angel show, either.
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Margaret: Look, Roger, we have a situation with this pregnancy thing... / Roger: Wait, it's CONFIRMED??? I didn't know! / Margaret: Well, Dave says so. Anyway, we have to keep Mike from killing Dave, so... / Roger: Huh? Why would Mike want to kill Dave? At this particular moment, I mean. / Margaret: Because Dave's the DADDY, DUUH? / Roger: What?? Oh. Well, that's good. No, wait. That's BAD. / Margaret: Yeah, well, Mike can't kill Dave, but if he makes Dave uses his lasers, that's bad too. / Roger: Boy, is the party still going on? It isn't, right? / Margaret: I have no idea. And I don't want to ask Blue or Marsha. Do you? / Roger: Hells no. / Margaret: Look, I'll keep an eye on Mike and you keep an eye on Dave. Just in case I lose him or something. And if you know anything about the party, just et me know, okay? / Roger: See ya. We should save us some time and make it a Halloween themed party. / Margaret: As long as it's not a Day of the Dead one...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Roger: HEY DAVE WAIT / Dave: ???!!! / Roger: Wait for me, man. I'm supposed to watch your Mike so back doesn't kill you, I mean, whatever. / Dave: Whaaa? Oh. Okay, thank you. / Roger: Margaret asked me, your lasers are offline, and MAN how do you ever get in so much trouble??? / Dave: I dunno guy, I swear i took precautions! I must have supersaiyajin spermatozoa or something. / Roger: Well if Blue tries to kill you I'm only holdingher while you run, because I'm not into hurting chick[[obscured]] Madame Green ha[[obscured]] / Dave: Oh no, do you think she[[obscured]] / [[Paul suddenly appears with a cheery word balloon that obscured the text in the prior balloons...]] / Paul: HI ROGER! / [[Roger has disappeared off-panel with a WAZOOOM!!!]] / Roger: BYE DAVE! / Dave: Uh, bye Roger...
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Paul: Well, Roger is sort of disturbed by the presence of the Almighty Red Twins... Hey! What's wrong with you? You look like you're about to jump off a bridge. / Dave: Good idea! Where's the nearest one? / Paul: Um, okay, are you serious? Because that'd be such a waste of sexy. Need a friendly ear? / Dave: No. yes. Oh, I dunno, it doesn't seem like a really good idea... / Paul: C'mon, I'm a good listener. What's to lose? / Dave: Yeah, okay. Well, apparently my life is over. / Paul: Oooh! Okay, I know where you're going. Honey, your life is not over, it's starting. Believe me. I've been there. / Dave: What... are you talking about? What? / Paul: This is about you and Mike, right? Because everybody has noticed that hot dynamic between you two. / Dave: I'm going to pretend I have a time machine and I went back and gagged you before you could say those words you just said. / Paul: Oooh, kinky!
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives April: Okay, what the Hell just happened? I'm talking one second, the next BWOOM! Down! / April: I don;t even feel dizzy afterwards, just sort of disoriented. What IS THIS??? / [[We see Blue approaching]] / April: I don't even remember what I was talking about before that, was I angry at something? What? / April: I can't keep this up! Everybody's going to think I'm CRAZY! / Blue: Maybe we wouldn't think you're crazy if you went around speaking out loud to yourself, blondie! / April: AGH! Blue, don;t do that! You startled me! / Blue: Waaaaaait a minute. Is that... tentacle blood??? / April: Noooo I DID NoTHING!!!
a class="searchlink" href="http://crfh.net/d/20100405.html">http://crfh.net/d/20100405.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 
College Roomies from Hell!!! Archives Blue: Are you up to some sh*t again, blondie? You better not. / April: Oh sure, I'm up to stuff! You know, Mike is bleeding to death somewhere. / Blue:Right, be sarcastic. I do Not trust you, and I never will. / April:You don't trust me! Stop the presses! / April:Better put a HIT on me right away, CONNIE CORLEONE! / Blue:Shut up and explain the blood on your shirt, you PSYCHO. / / April:Oh, yeah, THAT. Well, Mike was getting in my face, and I'm seriously, SERIOUSLY sick of you guys doing that. / April:So, BABYFACE. Back off. Because I'm losing my patience, dig? / And I do NOT have a good record when it comes to April:DIPLOMATICS. / April:Next time maybe it'll be YOUR turn in the resurrection chamber!
a class="searchlink" href="http://crfh.net/d/20100409.html">http://crfh.net/d/20100409.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://crfh.net/d/20100413.html">http://crfh.net/d/20100413.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://crfh.net/d/20100414.html">http://crfh.net/d/20100414.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://crfh.net/d/20100416.html">http://crfh.net/d/20100416.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 
a class="searchlink" href="http://crfh.net/d/20100419.html">http://crfh.net/d/20100419.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://crfh.net/d/20100421.html">http://crfh.net/d/20100421.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://crfh.net/d/20100423.html">http://crfh.net/d/20100423.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://crfh.net/d/20100426.html">http://crfh.net/d/20100426.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
a class="searchlink" href="http://crfh.net/d/20100428.html">http://crfh.net/d/20100428.html [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
 

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