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Singing For My Super Chicken: So, this super secret project you can't talk about... / Chicken: ... which involves a hundred musicians busking around the City of London. / Wayne: What about it? / Chicken: How secret is it really? / Wayne: Super.
There's Something I'm Not Telling You H: I have never seen Wayne looking so tired as right now. / H: He does seem to be very happy though. / H: Very happy. / H: I suppose he is just glad that busking thing is now over.
They Do Have A Point Chicken: I see Radiohead are giving away mp3s of their latest album. / Wayne: So am I. / Chicken: They are also inviting people to pay for them if they like. / Wayne: Well that's very nice of Radiohead.
I Cannot Tell A Lie H: Wayne is a little discombobulated right now. / [H looks to his left] / [H looks up] / H [looking to his right]: Uh-oh.
Still Discombobulated After All These Years H: Following Wednesday's comic, Wayne received a text message asking what 'discombobulated' meant. / H: From his mother. / H: No-one should have to explain that to their mother. / H: Especially not while discombobulated.
 
Been A Long Time Been A Long Time Chicken: Why are you so miserable again? / Wayne: Well, I got laid. / Chicken: You got what? / Wayne: And it's brought up all kinds of unprocessed shit that I need to deal with. / Chicken: You got what? / Wayne: Maybe I should start by losing the sideburns. / Chicken: You got what?
Home Taping Is Killing Music Wayne: The police have shut down Oink, an invite only bittorrent site. / Wayne: Bizarrely, the IFPI and BPI hijacked the oink.cd domain with a page saying "fuck you" to the 180,000 music fans using Oink. / [Wayne glares at the floor] / Wayne: Presumably just shutting Oink down didn't say "fuck you"...
Zzzzzz H: Wayne seems to have forgotten something. / [H looks to his left] / H: I think he's asleep. / [H looks to his left]
Living Dangerously Comics Presents H: It looks like Wayne really has forgotten us now he's a high-faluting writer for the Guardian... / H: ... with a girlfriend. / Wayne [off]: She isn't my girlfriend. / H: I have no idea what is going on. / Wayne [off]: Nor do I.
Intellectual Property Is Theft Wayne: Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor has been urging his fans to "steal" music. / Wayne: By which he means that they should continue to use P2P filesharing services like Oink. / Wayne: (Not actually stealing then.) / Wayne: He also urged the sun to remain "hot", rain to carry on being "wet"...
 
I Will Burn In Hell Wayne: Major label EMI have been caught selling illegal downloads of King Crimson... / Wayne: ... to which they do not actually have the rights. / Wayne: You could call this a Fripp-off. / Chicken: No. No you couldn't.
One Day At A Time Wayne: I'm going on the wagon for a bit. / Wayne: This seven bottle of wine a week diet is doing my head in. / Chicken: Your gig on Thursday is in a bar... / Wayne: First I have to make it to Thursday...
Kind Of Blue H: Wayne would like to apologise... / H: Probably. / [H looks to his left] / H: I think he fell off the wagon.
Second Sight Chicken: So let me get this straight. / Chicken: This girl you weren't seeing who said she didn't want to see you any more came to see your gig last night. / Wayne: Yes. / Chicken: I see. / Wayne: You do? / Chicken: No. / Wayne: Me neither.
Support Independent Musicians Chicken: So, did dropping the CD price in any way affect sales? / Wayne: Not really. / Wayne: Sales have neither risen nor fallen. / Chicken: Maintaining a steady 'none' then...
 
Wednesday's Worse H: Wayne would like to apologise. / H: He just learned the chords to "Stormy Monday" and now can't stop playing it. / H: Over and over and over and over and over... / H: Lord have mercy...
Nothing's Any Fun Any More H: Wayne can't make it again today. / H: But he has uploaded a new tune: "Nothing's Any Fun Any More." / [H looks to his left] / H: It's a cheery little number. / [Comic links to http://www.conniptions.org/mp3/nothing.mp3 ]
The Artists Who Formerly Had Fans Purple Wayne: Hi! I'm Purple Wayne. / Chicken: I'm Gene Simmons. / Purple Wayne: We're here to explain how an aggressive programme of suing music fans is going to revitalise an ailing music industry. / Chicken: I'm Gene Simmons. / [Purple Wayne looks quizzically at the chicken] / Chicken: I'm Gene ...
No Music Day 2007 H: Wayne cannot be here today. / H: Today is "No Music Day". / [H looks to his left] / H: These excuses get worse and worse. / [Comic links to http://www.nomusicday.com/ ]
Winter Blue Wayne: I'm a bit down at the moment. / Chicken: You could try drinking less and getting out more... / [Wayne gapes at the chicken in silence.] / Chicken: A crazy idea I know...
 
A Tune A Day H: Wayne cannot be here today. / H: He just bought a new clarinet mouthpiece. / [H is blown to one side by a huge 'SCREECH!'] / H: It now sounds like he is strangling a better class of cat.
Fool Me Once Wayne: I was going to do a comic about Lily Allen's impending retirement at 25. / Wayne: Say something rude about how great it is that young artists are passionate about music. / Wayne: But today there are all these stories about her heart murmur. / Chicken: Funny that. / [Comic links to http://j-andersson.blogspot.com/2007/10/faking-it-with-myspace.html...
Every Year Around This Time H: Wayne cannot be here today. / H: This is because he's very busy moping about in his dressing gown feeling sorry for himself. / Wayne [off]: Oy! / H: I really, really don't know what we're going to do with him.
blah [H looks forward] / [H looks to his left] / [H looks forward] / [H looks up]
Ah Wayne [off]: H? / [Blank panel] / [Blank panel] / Wayne [off]: Uh-oh.
 
A Bumpy Ride Wayne: So I signed up to new music discovery site The Sixty-one... / Wayne: But no-one has 'discovered' the music I uploaded. / Chicken: Bollocks. You've been bumped twice. / [Wayne glares at the chicken] / Chicken: Did I just screw this cartoon up? / [Comic links to http://www.thesixtyone.com/motty...
Shh [H says nothing] / [H still says nothing] / Chicken [appearing unexpectedly from left]: You don't need to say anything. / [H is silent]
Welcome, Banner Clickers Chicken: Let's get this straight. You released the album in July.. / Chicken: But only started advertising it as of yesterday. / [Wayne stares at the floor] / Chicken: Well, no-one can accuse you of selling out.
Fiver On The Door Wayne: I'm really looking forward to the gig at the Hope & Anchor on Sunday. / Chicken: You always say that. / Wayne: It's true. / Chicken: Are you not going to mention the 50p off flyer? / Wayne: Clearly.
Death By Ignominy Chicken: So how did the Hope & Anchor go last night? / Wayne: Pretty dismal. Only one person came down. / Chicken: Were you really expecting more? / Wayne: That's not the point.
 

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