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| Bit Silly | H: Wayne cannot be here right now. / H: He has been recording all day at his mate Brian's place and now has 2.8G of 24 bit files to convert to 16 bit before he can proceed. / H: This may take a little while. http://conniptions.org/?20080903 |
| A Bit Of Politics | Wayne: If McCain wins, I swear I'm going to emigrate... / Chicken: But Wayne, you're British. You live in the UK. / Wayne: Mars will be fine. Or the moon. Or Jupiter. I don't fucking know. http://conniptions.org/?20080905 |
| I Don't Know Where The Time Goes | H: Wayne cannot be here right now. / H: He is very busy procrastinating. / H: I think that's what he said. http://conniptions.org/?20080908 |
| Wish Me Luck | H: Wayne cannot be here again today. / H: He has a big audition for a job pretending to play the piano. / H: He's very busy pretending to prepare for it. http://conniptions.org/?20080910 |
| Cheers Noel | Wayne: I'd like to thank Noel Gallagher for choosing the buskers of New York not London to showcase the new Oasis album. / [Wayne stares at floor] / [Wayne gives a thumbs-up and cheesy grin] http://conniptions.org/?20080912 |
| In Lehman's Terms | Wayne: So the fourth largest investment bank in the world just went bust. / Wayne: And the chairman of the CBI says we 'may' be looking at a 'mild' recession. / Wayne: I think I can see what the problem is. http://conniptions.org/?20080915 |
| Fuck You Colfer | H: Wayne cannot be here right now. / H: He is busy gibbering with incoherent rage about Eoin Colfer's commission to write a new Hitchhiker book. / H: I've never seen him so angry. / [Note at bottom: We now have a new verb - 'to colf' - meaning to exhume and shit on a corpse. One who does this is a... http://conniptions.org/?20080917 |
| There Are Many Things To Say About Piracy | H [wearing pirate's hat throughout]: Wayne cannot be being here today. / H: On 'Talk Like A Pirate Day' of all days. R. / H: It's driving me nuts. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20080919 |
| Nooooooooooooooooooo | H: Wayne would like to apologise for his recent behaviour and erratic updates. / H: First he tried to customise his myspace page using some CSS. / H: Later he tried to customise his head using a screwdriver. http://conniptions.org/?20080925 |
| Three Were Funny | Wayne: This is the 400th comic. Yay! / Chicken: You're not doing a milestone comic are you?
/ Wayne: I might be. / Chicken: You know there's an inverse correlation between number of milestone comics and quality.
/ Wayne: It's not causal... http://conniptions.org/?20080926 |
| I Really Have No Idea | Chicken: So what the hell happened to you last week? / Wayne: I kind of fucked up. / Chicken: Well, at least you didnt' do any of those crappy cartoons. http://conniptions.org/?20081006 |
| I Really Don't Know | Chicken: What the hell is up with you?
/ Wayne: I don't know. / Chicken: You've missed four out of the last five updates and still haven't done the artwork for that live CD. / Wayne: Well, I've been practising a lot.
/ Chicken: For what?
/ Wayne: I'm not sure. http://conniptions.org/?20081010 |
| I Don't Know What He's Getting At | H: Wayne would like to apologise for his recent slackness, including missing an update on Monday. / [H looks to his left] / H: He has been very busy looking at pictures of saxophones and mas...
/ Wayne [off]: Oy! / [Comic links to http://www.saxpics.com/ ] http://conniptions.org/?20081015 |
| Really I Don't | [Banner headline: SERIOUSLY] / Wayne: I have no idea what the fuck is going on.
/ Chicken: It's ok, Wayne. No-one cares. http://conniptions.org/?20081017 |
| Yes It Is Bad | Wayne: The website of small NY label Quote Unquote has been taken down by their hosts after allegations of copyright infringement. / Wayne: They offered free mp3 downloads, but only of their own releases obviously. / Wayne: Is it bad that I am mainly jealous? / [Comic links to http://torrentfreak.com/record-label-infringes-own-copyright-site-pulled-081019/... http://conniptions.org/?20081020 |
| Z | Wayne: I slept so badly last night that I'm not even sure if I got any sleep at all. / Wayne [nodding off]: Z
/ Chicken: I think we have an answer. / Chicken: Amusingly, he's going busking later, or thinks he is, anyway.
/ Wayne [asleep]: Z http://conniptions.org/?20081022 |
| They Call Me Mr Squeaky | Wayne: I've figured out what the thing about mice is. / Wayne: They're not very good at the clarinet.
/ Chicken: Nor are you. / Wayne: That's why they squeak so much.
/ Chicken: What's your excuse then? http://conniptions.org/?20081024 |
| Riddle It | Wayne: So I was browsing last.fm, as you do, and I found that I am listed there as being 'similiar to' the rather excellent Roxy Rawson. / Wayne: I think this may be a bug. / Chicken: Well, you do both have arms and legs. And one head.
/ Wayne: Also we're both girls. Except me. / [Text across bottom:... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20081027 |
| The Show Must Go On | Wayne: I'm really looking forward to the gig at Monkey Chews tonight. / Wayne: Though annoyingly I have come down with a sore throat. / Chicken: This can only improve your singing, Wayne.
/ Wayne: Thanks. http://conniptions.org/?20081029 |
| Phone Number | Wayne: So I emailed my phone number to this promoter saying I was planning a CD launch for next February and would like a gig at their venue that month. / Wayne: He emailed back offering me a date in January and asked for my phone number. / Chicken: Maybe you should email him your phone number.
/ Wayne:... http://conniptions.org/?20081031 |
| The Greater Good | H: Wayne cannot be here right now... / H: He is very busy listening to 'The Greater Good' by the Robert Mitchell 3io over and over again. / H: He seems to have gone into some kind of trance. http://conniptions.org/?20081103 |
| Please To Be Proving Me Wrong | Wayne: I am trying not to be reminded of how I felt when Blair was elected here in the UK. / Chicken: Oh come on, you had him pegged as basically a Tory in a red tie from the start. / [Wayne glares at the chicken]
/ Chicken: Huh http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20081105 |
| Stream A Little Stream | H: Wayne would like to apologise for the late update and for not being here now. / H: He spent the last 48 hours wrestling with Icecast mp3 streaming software and is at last sending a stream of slightly tinny audio to next door. / H: Now he feels obligated to sit there and listen to it. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20081107 |
| Tomorrow's Retro Today | Wayne: The first batch of live CDs arrived today. I can't wait for the launch do on the 19th Nov. / Chicken: Do people really buy CDs any more?
/ Wayne: If I could afford it I'd make vinyl. / Chicken: No-one buys that either.
/ Wayne: I know. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20081110 |
| Fighting The War On Terror In London One Gig At A Time | Wayne: Under new powers, the Metropolitan Police can ban any live music if they don't get the personal details of performers two weeks in advance. / Chicken: You'll be alright, Wayne. Looks like they're using this to target mainly black musicians. / Chicken: Also, you know, ones who can actually pull... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20081112 |
| Inflammation Of The Fourth Wall | [Wayne admires a shiny medal on his chest.]
/ Chicken: What's the medal for? / Wayne: I've had flu all week and haven't drawn a cartoon moaning about it.
/ Chicken: I see.
/ [From overhead, a grabby thing descends.] / [Grabby thing has grabbed medal and lifted it above Wayne's head.]
/ Wayne: Bah. http://conniptions.org/?20081114 |
| Goes Without Saying | Wayne: I'm really looking forward to the live CD launch gig at the blagclub this Wednesday. / Chicken: Yeah. Then you'll stop banging on about it all the bloody time. / Chicken: Did you remember to rehearse the songs a bit?
/ Wayne [quietly]: Of course. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20081117 |
| Note To Self | H: Wayne cannot be here now. He is very busy getting ready for the gig at the blagclub this evening. / H: I hope he remembers to bring some of the new CDs with him... / H: And his guitar... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20081119 |
| I Forgive Him For 'A Good Heart' | Wayne: The transcript of Feargal Sharkey's evidence to the House of Commons Culture, Media and Sport committee is now online, and it makes for interesting reading. / Chicken: Wayne, you just released a new CD. Shouldn't you be talking about that now? / Wayne: I don't see why.
/ Chicken: Never mind. / [Note... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20081121 |
| Universal Ripoff Merchants | Wayne: According to the internet, Lyle Lovett has made no money at all from record sales in the last 20 years. / Chicken: Nor have you.
/ Wayne: True, but I also haven't sold 4.6 million albums for Universal. / Chicken: I prefer Lovett's music to yours.
/ Wayne: That's not the point. / [Comic links... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20081124 |
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