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| Reign In Blood | Wayne: After following up a random comment on the Guardian website... / Wayne: I was disappointed to discover that Barack Obama is not, after all, a massive Slayer fan.
/ Chicken: Nor are you. / Wayne: That's not the point. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20101230 |
| Your Very Good Health | H [loud]: Happy New Year!!!
/ Chicken: You're pissed.
/ Wayne: Maybe. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20101231 |
| Everyone Likes Cake | Wayne: I'm exhausted.
/ Chicken: Well, you do keep staying up late listening to cricket. / Chicken: You're not even that into cricket.
/ Wayne: That's not fair. / Wayne: I just really like Test Match Special.
/ Chicken: Sure, when they talk about cake.
/ Wayne: But I like cake. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110103 |
| Mastering Project Management For Musicians | Chicken: When you said the new album would be out by Christmas...
/ Wayne: I never said that. / Chicken: Yes you did.
/ Wayne: Huh. / Chicken: Did you mean Christmas 2011 or Christmas 2012?
/ Wayne: Huh. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110105 |
| I'm Not Entirely Sure Myself | Wayne: I'm excited. I finally booked a mastering session for the new album. It'll be out soon. / Chicken: You do realise that most people don't know what 'mastering' is and also don't care.
/ Wayne: So? / Chicken: Talking about it turns them off.
/ Wayne: This makes a difference?
/ Chicken: Not in your... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110112 |
| I Only Buy Music I Don't Like | Wayne: The new IFPI report on piracy and music assumes one out of ten illegal downloads is a lost sale. / Wayne: This makes total sense and is not at all insane. / Wayne: When I've found music I like, I know I for one never buy anything from that artist again. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110121 |
| There Are Worse Problems To Have | Wayne: The thought of spending the next few months relentlessly promoting my new album makes me feel quite sick. / Chicken: Oh grow the fuck up. / Chicken: You wanted to be a musician, no?
/ Wayne: Yes.
/ Chicken: Well then.
/ Wayne: Huh. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110131 |
| It's A Cheap Gag | Wayne: Today I held my nose and tried to 'suggest' my band page to Facebook friends. / Chicken: How?
/ Wayne: Eh?
/ Chicken: A shnozz like yours is a two-hander. How did you click 'suggest'? / Wayne: Anyway, it didn't work.
/ Chicken: I mean, your nose is big.
/ Wayne: I know. I was ignoring you. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110209 |
| I Do Not Endorse The Words Of The Chicken | Chicken: So how's it going promoting your Facebook page? / Wayne: Pretty good. I even got one of the musicians who played on the album to click the 'like' button. / Chicken: Well, it is pretty embarrassing to be associated with you. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110211 |
| Have We Got A Video | Wayne: I'm very excited about the video I made for Sweet Sister Starlight last night. / Chicken: It's not really a video, is it? You just stitched a few stills together and slapped it on YouTube.
/ Wayne: That counts. / Wayne: I don't know why you always have to be so negative.
/ Chicken: Yes you do. / [... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110214 |
| On The Chin | Chicken: So how's the relentless self-promotion going? / Wayne: Just fine. / Wayne: Apart from the constant urge to punch myself hard in the face.
/ Chicken: That's normal. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110218 |
| My Social Media Strategy Needs More Work | Wayne: Man, I wish more people liked my Facebook page. / Chicken: That's the most depressing thing I've ever heard you say.
/ Wayne: Yeah. / Chicken: Have you tried 'being likeable'?
/ Wayne: I don't follow you.
/ Chicken: No. No you don't. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110225 |
| I Probably Shouldn't Be Telling You All This | Chicken: So when are you actually releasing this album?
/ Wayne: I thought I'd do an online release this month and start taking CD pre-orders ready for a full CD release in May. / Chicken: CD pre-orders? That's funny. You're a funny guy. Pre-orders.
/ Wayne: What? I've had one already. / Chicken: Your... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110304 |
| This Stuff Is Not My Strong Point | Wayne: After three years, I have finally updated my press kit... / Chicken: Your first draft began "Wayne Myers is a bit of a knob really," and involved a plan to draw a moustache over your photograph. / Wayne: I improved on that draft... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110308 |
| Howl | Chicken: Could you have picked a worse time to release the album online?
/ Wayne: Huh? / Chicken: Everyone not at SXSW is at Sound City in Liverpool.
/ Wayne: Which everyone? / Wayne: Anyway, I wanted it to coincide with the full moon.
/ Chicken: The moon. Right... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110321 |
| Have Your Say | Wayne: As part of the website redesign, I have just added comments for the cartoons, using Disqus. / Chicken: World of pain, man.
/ Wayne: What, all that moderation and so forth?
/ Chicken: No. I mean the silence. / Chicken: The deafening and endless silence of the utter futility of it all. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110325 |
| Jobs, Growth, Justice | Wayne: I'll be marching today because I'm quite keen on things like libraries and the NHS. (Without which I'd be dead, incidentally.) / Chicken: Do you mean to say you don't know why?
/ Wayne: Oh piss off. / Chicken: You know why but can't articulate it?
/ Wayne: Basically. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110326 |
| How Will You Know | Wayne: I think I should maybe put the comic on hiatus until I've sorted my head out a bit. / Chicken: It's April 1st. That's an April Fool's gag, right? / Wayne: Sure... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110401 |
| It Has To Stop | Chicken: Why do you put so much energy into sabotaging yourself all the time?
/ Wayne: Fear. / Chicken: Fear? Fear of what? Failure?
/ Wayne: Worse. Fear of success. / Wayne: I am getting very tired of this shit. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110406 |
| Share Alike | Wayne: I have changed the license on all FatC releases from BY-NC-ND to BY-NC-SA. You are now free to use any of it in your own CC-licensed projects as you see fit. / Chicken: Are you trying to bore your remaining readers to death?
/ Wayne: No, this stuff is important. / Chicken: It's important. But... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110408 |
| Only Goths Deny Being Goths | Wayne: I received a lovely write-up from the people at Spoonfed. / Chicken: They tagged your music as "goth".
/ Wayne: I can't deny it. / Chicken: But you're not a goth in any way.
/ Wayne: That's why I can't deny it. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110415 |
| And I Mean Grateful | Wayne: I'm really looking forward to the gig tonight at 93 Feet East. / Chicken: Are you expecting to bring a large crowd?
/ Wayne: No. / Wayne: I'll be grateful if anyone comes down at all.
/ Chicken: Yes. And surprised.
/ Wayne: Grateful. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110509 |
| Breaking New Ground | Chicken: What the hell are you doing?
/ Wayne [standing on one leg]: I am poised to take the world by storm. / Chicken: So you're a musician. We know.
/ Wayne [in pain, still on one leg]: Ow! / Chicken: Now what?
/ Wayne [one foot throbbing in pain]: Cramp. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110511 |
| Sweet Sister Starlight Released On CD Today | Chicken: I see Lady Gaga is also launching her new album today.
/ Wayne: That doesn't worry me at all. / Wayne: It's a good day for it. Plus our fanbases don't overlap that much. / Chicken: That's a mathematical certainty. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110523 |
| Pas evident | Chicken: So how did the interview on Rathole Radio go?
/ Wayne [very indistinctly]: It was ok. / Chicken: I'm sorry?
/ Wayne [even more indistinctly]: I said it was ok.. / Chicken: You really do have to learn to stop mumbling. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110530 |
| I Just Invented Sponge Music | Wayne: My music absorbs influences from everywhere, so from now on I'm going to call it 'sponge'. / Chicken: But that's bullshit. It's bluesy folk-rock.
/ Wayne: Yeah... *sigh* / Wayne: What if I call it 'sponge' anyway?
/ Chicken: The sponge scene won't like that. / [Comic links to http://newmusicstrategies.com/ampnms,... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110622 |
| The Night They Closed The News Of The World Down | Wayne: So Andy Coulson's been arrested.
/ Chicken: About time. Great news. / Wayne: No it isn't.
/ Chicken: What's wrong with you? Why not? / Wayne: The filk I made last night isn't funny any more.
/ Chicken: It wasn't funny to begin with... / [Comic links to http://soundcloud.com/conniptions/the-night-they-closed-the-news... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110708 |
| I Have Invites | Wayne: So I signed up to Google+...
/ Chicken: Oh god. / Wayne: What?
/ Chicken: You're going to do an "oh god not another social network" gag, aren't you. / Wayne: No.
/ Chicken: Fuck. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110715 |
| It Is Ok I Am Still On Twitter, Facebook and Soundcloud | Wayne: I just deleted my MySpace account.
/ Chicken: I'm impressed. By which I mean 'yawn'. / Wayne: Oh yes. I'm a pretty savvy guy you know.
/ Chicken: You realise no-one is going to notice. / Wayne: I know my social media trends, me.
/ Chicken: Is there a barber out there? http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110727 |
| August 2011 Was Not A Great Month For Me Either | [Blank black page] http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20110831 |
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