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| There's Nothing Wrong With Eric Idle | Chicken: You're not taking your career very seriously, are you? / Wayne: Yes I am. What makes you say that I'm not? / Chicken: Where do I begin? / Chicken: You've listed Eric Idle as an influence on your new myspace page... http://conniptions.org/?20060605 |
| There's Always Something | Chicken: I'm confused. You're supposed to be putting a band together. / Chicken: Instead, you've recorded a jazz piano demo and made a solo acoustic myspace page... / Wayne: It had to be done. Now I can get on with the band thing.
/ Chicken: So what are you up to today? / Wayne: Working on a website... http://conniptions.org/?20060607 |
| Too Busy To Change His Shirt | Chicken: So you've a gig tonight with My Scarlet Darling... / Chicken: You're rehearsing and recording next week with Vivachi. And Pacwoman... / Chicken: When are you ever going to sort out your own thing? / Chicken: Also, you've been wearing the same blue shirt since January... http://conniptions.org/?20060609 |
| Everyone's A Critic | Wayne: So far this year I've played thirty gigs... / Chicken: Well you can't be very good, then... / Wayne: What makes you say that? / Chicken: You haven't got laid once... http://conniptions.org/?20060612 |
| I'm Not Sure What The Point Is... | Wayne: Look, just because I'm not into casual sex doesn't mean I can't play... / Chicken: Uhuh... / Chicken: And after how many of these thirty gigs this year have you not wished you were getting laid? / Wayne: That's not the point... http://conniptions.org/?20060614 |
| DIY Culture At Its Finest | Chicken: So how did last night's benefit gig for Down2Earth go? / Wayne: Bunch of hippies. I ended up getting roped into basically running the show as well as playing. / Chicken: What's your problem? You got fed, watered, and they paid your travel expenses... / Chicken: Oh wait, so you didn't pull,... http://conniptions.org/?20060617 |
| Keeping It Real | Wayne: Be yourself, they said... / Wayne: Don't be such a miserable git, they said... / [Wayne looks down] / Wayne: Make your fucking mind up, I told them... http://conniptions.org/?20060619 |
| World Cup Fever | Chicken: You completely missed Wednesday's cartoon deadline. What's up? / Wayne: I blame the football.
/ Chicken: I see... / Chicken: I thought you promised yourself you wouldn't mention it...
/ Wayne: Yes. / Wayne: Shit. http://conniptions.org/?20060623 |
| Grr... | Chicken: You're late with the cartoon again. / Wayne: Grr... / Chicken: Growling won't help.
/ Wayne: It might. / Chicken: Trust me, it won't.
/ Wayne: Thanks. http://conniptions.org/?20060627 |
| Bah... | Wayne: Grr... / Chicken: Heh. / Chicken: You really do think all this growling is going to help, don't you... / Wayne: Grr... http://conniptions.org/?20060628 |
| Feh... | Chicken: Wayne has not had a drink since Sunday night. / Chicken: Heh. / Chicken: He also hasn't managed to get a lot done since then, either. / Wayne: Grr... http://conniptions.org/?20060630 |
| Drinking On My Own Again | Wayne: Drinking on your own... / Wayne: It's not big. It's not clever. / Chicken: I thought you were on the wagon at the moment?
/ Wayne: I am... / Wayne: Until Friday... / [Banner: "Drinking On My Own Again" mp3 demo released today] http://conniptions.org/?20060703 |
| Too Much Long Time | Chicken: "Too much long time"? What's that all about then? / Wayne: Well, um... / Chicken: Is it like when you start a web cartoon for your band... / Chicken: But take six months to actually upload any music?
/ Wayne: Thanks... / [Banner: "Too Much Long Time" mp3 demo released today...] http://conniptions.org/?20060705 |
| You Make Me Want To Be Together Again | Chicken: This song, "You Make Me Want To Be Together Again"... / Chicken: There's just one thing wrong with it. It implies a time when you ever were together. / Wayne: 1978?
/ Chicken: You were seven... / Wayne: I was pretty damn together at seven. / [Banner: "You Make Me Want To Be Together Again"... http://conniptions.org/?20060707 |
| All We Ever Did... | Wayne: I wrote this song, "Fuck and Argue" in 1998... / Wayne: After a particularly bad break-up. / Chicken: Are you actually over any of your ex-girlfriends? / Wayne: Yes. Thanks.
/ Chicken: Heh. / [Banner: "All We Ever Did Was Fuck And Argue" mp3 demo released today] http://conniptions.org/?20060710 |
| Too Many People | Wayne: There's about six billion of us on the planet right now. / Wayne: It's mind boggling. / Chicken: So there must be, what, about three billion women...
/ Wayne: Yeah. / Chicken: And you can't even find one.
/ Wayne: Thanks... / [Banner: "Too Many People" mp3 demo released today] http://conniptions.org/?20060712 |
| Bless Your Heart | Wayne: A couple of years ago I was really down. Rock bottom. / Wayne: Then I met this girl who made me want to live again. / Wayne: So this one's for her.
/ Chicken: That's really sweet, Wayne... / Chicken: But imagine what you would have written if you'd actually [obscured]
/ Wayne: Imagine what will... http://conniptions.org/?20060714 |
| Got My Modem Working... | Chicken: "Got my modem working..." / Chicken: "... but it just don't work on you." / Chicken: Just one question. / Chicken: Exactly what were you hoping the modem was going to do? / [Banner: "Got My Modem Working" mp3 demo released today] http://conniptions.org/?20060717 |
| You Can't Lose | Chicken: You can lose what you never had, you know... / Wayne: How? / Chicken: You know very well indeed... / Chicken: Ask your credit card company... / [Banner: "You Can't Lose" mp3 demo released today] http://conniptions.org/?20060719 |
| Backward Being Forward | Chicken: So. This one's about how you met that girl, isn't it... / Wayne: Yes. Obviously. No. / Chicken: You're embarrassed, aren't you?
/ Wayne: No. / Chicken: Aw, look, he's all embarrassed...
/ Wayne: Am not. / [Banner: "Backward Being Forward" mp3 demo released today] http://conniptions.org/?20060721 |
| Skin Up | Chicken: I can't tell if this tune 'Skin Up' is pro or anti drugs. / Wayne: Nor can I. / Chicken: But you wrote it. / Wayne: Yeah, but I was pretty stoned at the time... / [Banner: "Skin Up" mp3 demo released today] http://conniptions.org/?20060724 |
| Freezeframe Shutters | [Wayne stares into space.] / [Wayne looks down.] / [Wayne looks down again.] / Chicken: Wayne would like to thank all the people who came to see him play at the Old Queen's Head on Monday night... / [Banner: "Freezeframe Shutters" mp3 demo released today] http://conniptions.org/?20060726 |
| L'Echarpe Perdu | Wayne: The chorus is in French and it's about a scarf... / Chicken: Well, no-one can accuse you of trying to sell out... / Chicken: Of being silly and pretentious, yes... / Chicken: But not trying to sell out...
/ Wayne: Thanks. / [Banner: "L'Echarpe Perdu" mp3 demo released today] http://conniptions.org/?20060728 |
| Clean Your Fridge | Wayne: A really old one today. "Clean Your Fridge". / Chicken: Please tell me this isn't based on a true story. / Wayne: Actually, it is. / Chicken: I don't want to know. / [Banner: "Clean Your Fridge" mp3 demo released today] http://conniptions.org/?20060731 |
| Move On | Chicken: "Skin of the snake, such treacherous leather..." / Chicken: "Close and oppressive and storming the weather." / Chicken: What the hell is that supposed to mean? / Chicken: You have no idea, do you?
/ Wayne: None. / [Banner: "Move On" mp3 demo uploaded today] http://conniptions.org/?20060802 |
| Storm's Over | Wayne: "Storm's Over" is up today. / Wayne: That's the last of this batch of tunes. / Chicken: So what next?
/ Wayne: I go back and clean them up a bit. Get some gigs. Recruit a band. / Chicken: You don't know, do you?
/ Wayne: No. / [Banner: "Storm's Over" mp3 demo uploaded today] http://conniptions.org/?20060804 |
| Not Everyone Has A Credit Card | Great Musical Disasters #15: Trying to get to the gig by coach
/ Driver: We at National Distress Coaches pioneered the fifty-minute stopover. / Driver: We guarantee you'll wait at least forty minutes at Victoria Coach Station before you find if a ticket is even available. / Driver: But now, we've introduced... http://conniptions.org/?20060807 |
| This Example Of Self-Reference Is Not Funny | Wayne: This comic is late. / Chicken: You're breaking the fourth wall again. / Chicken: Worse, you're referring to 'the fourth wall' / [Fourth panel is upside down]
/ Chicken: What else is going to go wrong? http://conniptions.org/?20060809 |
| It's Not Really Him | Wayne: I can't believe Paul McCartney left a comment on my MySpace page. / Chicken: What did he say? / Wayne: "**Be Cosmically Conscious**" / Chicken: You realise he says that to everyone.
/ Wayne: Yeah. http://conniptions.org/?20060811 |
| I Met This Girl | Chicken: So how did the Bluepeace thing go on Saturday?
/ Wayne: I met this girl... / Chicken: And...? / Chicken: You got her number at least, I hope... / Wayne: I met this girl...
/ Chicken: Oh shit... http://conniptions.org/?20060814 |
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