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| Massive Shock | Wayne: At a Westminster reception held by MPs campaigning against renewal of the Trident nuclear programme... / Wayne: Annie Lennox was asked why she wasn't being joined by a new crop of "angry young men, women and boybands." / Wayne: "You should ask them that," was the jist of her reply. / Wayne:... http://conniptions.org/?20070314 |
| A River In Egypt | Chicken: It's sad, really. / Chicken: At the age of 35 you still live like a teenager. / [Wayne looks contemplative] / Wayne: 35 3/4. I'm nearly 36, you know. http://conniptions.org/?20070316 |
| Paved With Gold | H: Wayne can't be here today as he has gone to Doncaster for an audition. / H: Years ago, musicians would come to London to look for work. Now it's the other way around. / [H looks to his left] / H: Must be because the industry is so healthy. http://conniptions.org/?20070319 |
| She's Better Looking Than I Am | Wayne: It would be great to see you at my Cafe Suki gig this evening... / Wayne: But if instead you go to see my friend Lou Noble play the Troubadour I would not blame you. / Chicken: Oh for fuck's sake, Wayne... / Wayne: What?
/ Chicken: You so need a manager. http://conniptions.org/?20070321 |
| My Head Exploded | H: Wayne would like to thank everyone who came to Cafe Suki on Wednesday. / H: Afterwards, he went up Brick Lane for "a salt beef sandwich on rye with too much mustard" as usual. / H: This time they actually gave him too much mustard. / H: He is currently in a stable condition and should be home ... http://conniptions.org/?20070323 |
| Rock And Roll Moron | Wayne: I just don't know where the time goes. / Chicken: I do. You're always either drunk or hungover. / Wayne: Maybe I should start smoking weed again. / Chicken: Also, you're a complete idiot. http://conniptions.org/?20070326 |
| I'll Keep You Posted | Wayne: I'm really looking forward to the gig at the Loaded Dog in Leytonstone this Thursday. / Wayne: It'll be the first full band gig for ages, if all goes according to plan. / Wayne: I'm just waiting for the promoter to get back to me to confirm it's still on, as he hasn't listed us on the website... / Chicken:... http://conniptions.org/?20070328 |
| All My Fault | Wayne: Last night an age-old question was answered. / Wayne: If a band plays in Leytonstone and nobody comes to see them, can they still rock the place? / Wayne: The answer is yes. Yes they can. And we did. / Chicken: That's not the answer. In fact the answer is that sending a few texts the night... http://conniptions.org/?20070330 |
| Just One More Go | H: Wayne would like to apologise for the lateness of this cartoon. / H: He has another big audition this week and is busy "getting himself ready". / [H looks to his left] / H: Maybe the gig does somehow involve playing a lot of "Desktop Tower Defence"... / [Bar at bottom: I swear to god it's like... http://conniptions.org/?20070402 |
| It Went Well | H: Wayne can't be here today as he is knackered from shlepping to Wales and back for his audition. / H: He does seem to be smiling though... / [H looks to his left] / H: I can't tell if this means it went well or if he's just pissed.
/ Wayne[off]: Both. http://conniptions.org/?20070404 |
| It's Free In | H: I'm not sure Wayne remembers about the gig at Lock 17 in Camden on Monday. / H: He doesn't seem to have told anyone about it, anyway. / [H looks to his left] / [H looks straight forward] http://conniptions.org/?20070406 |
| I'll Be Fine | H: I wonder if anyone will make it down to Wayne's gig tonight. / [H looks to his left] / H: Mind you, by the state of him, I wonder if Wayne will make it. / [H looks to his left again] http://conniptions.org/?20070409 |
| Echo Chamber | Chicken: So how did the gig go Monday?
/ Wayne: Meh. / Wayne: That room's as much as a nightmare to play in as it was three years ago. / Chicken: And how many showed up?
/ Wayne: Two. / Chicken: No bad thing in this case.
/ Wayne: No. http://conniptions.org/?20070411 |
| Sincerest Form Of Flattery | Wayne: How is Todd Goldman ripping off a comic by David Kelly any different... / Wayne: ... from what has been going on in music for years? / Wayne: Jimmy Page and Bert Jansch. Paul McCartney and Jimmy Scott. I could go on... / Chicken: Well, for a start, Page and McCartney are both talented. / [Comic... http://conniptions.org/?20070413 |
| She's A Model | Wayne: Last week on myspace I got an add friend request from Gisele Bündchen. / Chicken: No you didn't.
/ Wayne: I know. / Wayne: But I pretended it was really her for a while. / Wayne: Imagine my disappointment when shortly afterwards I received an add friends request from "Cindy Crawford"... http://conniptions.org/?20070416 |
| Perhaps I Just Suck | Wayne: Tomorrow's gig at the Perseverance will be the ninth this year. / Wayne: It's so hard to get people along to gigs. Perhaps I'm doing too many. / Chicken: How about giving more than a few days' notice?
/ Wayne: It's all on the site and myspace well in advance. / Chicken: Well, in that case it's... http://conniptions.org/?20070418 |
| Success Seems So Un-Rocknroll | Chicken: So how was the gig yesterday?
/ Wayne: Dismal. Only four people turned up. / Chicken: That's twice as many as last time, then... / Chicken: Perhaps you need to rethink your strategy. Update your press kit. / Wayne: I don't have a press kit.
/ Chicken: I think I can see what the problem is. http://conniptions.org/?20070420 |
| I Am Teh Stupid | H: It's the great British Webcomic Piss-up today. / H: Like a big idiot, Wayne forgot to sign up this year. / [H looks to his left] / H: I don't think he'd have managed to do a cartoon about a shield anyway. / [Banner: "Click to visit the comics that are taking part", links to http://www.bolloxc... http://conniptions.org/?20070423 |
| Maybe It's The Time Of Year | H: A fifty foot robot Michael Jackson roaming Las Vegas with lasers for eyes... / H: Sheryl Crow calling for legal restrictions on toilet paper use. / H: Wayne actually making progress on the CD at last. / H: The world's gone mad! / [Bottom banner: NB - Sheryl Crow was joking about the toilet pa... http://conniptions.org/?20070425 |
| I Have A Coherent Plan | Chicken: So when the CD is done what will you do with it? / Wayne: I'll... you know... send it off... / Chicken: Where to? / Wayne: America.
/ Chicken: Oh shit. http://conniptions.org/?20070427 |
| A Bit Nervous | Chicken: So you're ready to finally get the CD mastered tomorrow.
/ Wayne: Yes. / Chicken: USB key?
/ Wayne: Check.
/ Chicken: Data CD?
/ Wayne: Check. / Chicken: Audio CD?
/ Wayne: Check.
/ Chicken: Reference CD?
/ Wayne: Check. / Chicken: Brown trousers? http://conniptions.org/?20070430 |
| Available Soon | Chicken: So how did the mastering go?
/ Wayne: Ok. / Chicken: Only ok? Aren't you happy with the CD now?
/ Wayne: Well... / Wayne: I can't tell. I've been listening to it over and over again and now I'm completely sick of it. / Chicken: Well, don't give up the day job then...
/ Wayne: Thanks. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070502 |
| The Strenuous Life | H: Wayne is busy trying to put together a launch plan for the CD. / H: This seems to involve long bouts of moping... / H: Punctuated by playing short intense bursts of playing ragtime on the piano. Badly. Then more moping. / H: It could work... http://conniptions.org/?20070504 |
| Slated For June | H: Wayne has been explaining to me what a "release date" is. / H: When you make a CD, you have to pretend that you haven't really, until that date. / H: Then you have a party where you tell everyone you were lying about the CD and you have really made one after all. / H: Apparently this makes people... http://conniptions.org/?20070507 |
| Scrobble-La-Di Scrobble-La-Da | H: Wayne is busy working on the CD cover art. / [H looks to his left] / H: This process seems to require him to sit there obsessively reloading his new last.fm user page a lot. / H: Perhaps they have a widget. / [Page links to http://www.last.fm/user/karaite/ ] http://conniptions.org/?20070509 |
| Faster Pussycat | Chicken: Isn't it overkill to be banging on about the CD all the time? It's not even done yet. / Wayne: I'm just really excited about it, that's all. / Chicken: Like fuck you are. You just want it out of the way so you can get on and make another one. / Wayne: But that's the exciting bit. Work with... http://conniptions.org/?20070511 |
| Scouch | Wayne: A lot of people are grumbling about the way voting works in Eurovision. / Wayne: Allegedly, so many people vote en bloc for their neighbours that there is no hope for anyone else. / [Wayne glares at the ground] / Wayne: Of course, having a song that isn't complete kak might also help. / [Bottom... http://conniptions.org/?20070514 |
| Well Maybe Some Regrets | [Great Musical Disasters #17: Investigating Eurovision Plagiarism] / Wayne: Swedish singer Pandora has a tune called "No Regrets". / Wayne: The chorus is very similar to that of Scooch's "Flying The Flag", though Scooch deny it was plagiarism. / Wayne: As it happens, both tunes are in the key of E... http://conniptions.org/?20070516 |
| My Fingers Are Stronger | Wayne: Since January I've become obsessed by the Hanon piano exercises. / Chicken: An hour and a half of mindless semi-quavers every day. / Wayne: My neighbours must hate me. / Chicken: No, they hated you already. http://conniptions.org/?20070518 |
| Lift The Fingers | [H says nothing] / [H says nothing, but is a little higher up in the panel] / [H is a little higher still] / [H, who is a little higher still]: Uh-oh... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070521 |
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