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| High And With Precision | [H is higher than normal in the panel] / [H is a little higher still] / [H is at the same height as in panel 1 only upside down] / H [upside down, text also upside down]: Bah. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070523 |
| Playing Each Note Very Distinctly | [H is upside down and higher than normal in the panel] / [H, still upside down, is a little lower] / [H, still upside down, lower still] / H [still upside down, lower still]: Damn Hanon. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070525 |
| Up And Coming | Chicken: You were driving the tour bus for an up and coming indie rock band all last week. / Chicken: Aren't you going to say anything about it?
/ Wayne: No way. / Wayne: What goes on tour stays on tour... / Chicken: Why? It wasn't debauched or anything...
/ Wayne: That's the point. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070528 |
| Onward And Upward | Chicken: So you weren't at all jealous of the band you were driving for all last week.
/ Wayne: No. / Wayne: Why should I be? We're doing very different things. / Chicken: Yeah. They're touring round Europe... / Chicken: While you're still fuck-arsing about. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070530 |
| Yes They Are | H: Wayne can't be here yet again today. / H: He said something about sorting his priorities out. / [H looks to his left] / H: I'm not sure that 'punchlines' were even on the list. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070601 |
| Still Crazy... | H: Wayne just ran into his ex on Facebook... / H [looks to his left] / H: I hope this doesn't delay the CD release too much. / H [looking to his left]: Uh-oh... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070604 |
| Bah | [H says nothing] / [H looks to his left] / [H says nothing] / H: Bah. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070606 |
| Not For Resale | Wayne: My promo CDs finally arrived today.
/ Chicken: Congratulations / Chicken: It's your first day in marketing. How do you feel? / Wayne: Sick.
/ Chicken: Good. / Chicken: No go and write your press kit. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070608 |
| As A Matter Of Fact... | H: Wayne is busy working on that press kit... / H: ... in the pub. / [H looks to his left] / H: I expect he finds it a bit easier to concentrate in there... http://conniptions.org/?20070611 |
| Blowing My Own Trumpet | Wayne: "Writing your own press kit" sounds like a euphemism for something... / Chicken: You are making such a big deal out of this. / Wayne: ... like "defacing your own Wiki".
/ Chicken: Euphemism for what? Wanking? / Chicken: I think you may be doing it wrong.
/ Wayne: Which?
/ Chicken: Both. http://conniptions.org/?20070613 |
| Sniffle | H: Wayne can't be here today, as he has a cold. / Wayne[off]: It's not a cold. / Wayne[off]: It's the plague. / H: He has a cold. http://conniptions.org/?20070615 |
| Don't Tell I Tell 'Ee | Chicken: I hear The Wurzels have pulled out of Glastonbury this year.
/ Wayne: Well that's it then. / Wayne: I'm not going.
/ Chicken: You already weren't going. / Wayne: Yeah, but now I have a good reason.
/ Chicken: You already had a good reason. / Chicken: 150 quid a ticket. http://conniptions.org/?20070618 |
| Muse Wanted | H: Wayne has been to the pub in search of inspiration. / H: Again... / [H looks to his left] / H: I don't think he found it. http://conniptions.org/?20070620 |
| Fourth What? | Wayne: I dunno... / Wayne: It's as if I've become this weird caricature of myself. / [Wayne glares at the ground] / Chicken: Wayne, I hate to be the one to break it to you... http://conniptions.org/?20070622 |
| Mailshot Blues | Wayne: I've been sending that promo CD out all over the place. / [Wayne sighs] / Wayne: I feel like a spammer. / Chicken: At least you're not emailing it. http://conniptions.org/?20070625 |
| Self-Release | Wayne: My self-released CD which I am self-releasing myself... / Wayne: Will be self-released on the 22nd July... / Wayne: By me. / Chicken: If self-release isn't a euphemism I don't know what is... http://conniptions.org/?20070627 |
| It's About The Music | Chicken: Question. How can anyone take your music seriously? / Chicken: Your website is just cartoons of you with a chicken on your head. / Wayne: You think it will make a difference?
/ Chicken: Duh. / Wayne [walking off]: Bugger. http://conniptions.org/?20070629 |
| Rough Trade | Chicken: I can't believe you sent email to Rough Trade about the demo. / Wayne: It was a horrible mistake. I forgot they were major label RIAA scum nowadays. / Chicken: Yeah. Since 2002. / Wayne: That was the year I had my breakdown.
/ Chicken: That's not an excuse. / [Bottom banner: I'm really embarrassed... http://conniptions.org/?20070702 |
| Payola | Wayne: I've been sending demos out all over the place. Haven't had much response so far. / Chicken: What about that magazine editor who emailed you asking for fifty quid. / Wayne: I researched it. They still don't guarantee you a good review.
/ Chicken: Wow. / Wayne: Anyway, I don't have fifty...
/ Chicken:... http://conniptions.org/?20070704 |
| George Melly RIP | [Banner across top: Great Gigs I Have Been To #2: George Melly, Ronnie Scott's, Six or seven years ago, I forget exactly]
/ Wayne: This was maybe the best gig I have ever been to. Rest in peace, George.
/ [Background is one big panel with collage of George Melly photo and old Ronnie Scott's club neon sign.... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070706 |
| Cheapskate Couriers - Why Pay More | H: Wayne is a bit upset, as the CD's have been 'lost' by the courier company. / [H looks to his left] / [H looks straight forward] / H: Sometimes this comic really does write itself. http://conniptions.org/?20070709 |
| It Really Does Hurt | H: Wayne is not well again. / H: Though after the way he carried on last time I'm not expecting much sympathy. / Wayne [off]: Look. This time I am definitely dying. It hurts.
/ H: You are so not dying... / H: ... of tonsilitis. http://conniptions.org/?20070711 |
| Tonsilitis News | H [looking off to left]: Are you not feeling any better at all, Wayne? / Wayne [off]: Hard to say. Before it felt like I'd been stabbed in the throat. / Wayne [off]: Now it feels like I've been stabbed in the tongue. / H: He's feeling a bit better. http://conniptions.org/?20070713 |
| Hard To Swallow | [Top banner: Great Comic Disasters #1: Tempting Fate]
/ Wayne: Alert readers will have seen that the last two cartoons mocked my tonsilitis. / Wayne: Turns out there is a complication called 'quinsy'. / Chicken: What are you saying? You really were dying?
/ Wayne: Not as such. / Wayne: Let's just say... http://conniptions.org/?20070716 |
| The Show Will Go On | Wayne: The doctor has advised me not to sing for a couple of weeks. / [Wayne frowns] / Wayne: This has nothing to do with my throat healing. / Wayne: He just doesn't like my music. http://conniptions.org/?20070718 |
| Well It Is | Chicken: So you're finally releasing the CD on Sunday... / Chicken: It's been nearly two years since you started it. / Chicken: What is it, your birthday or something? / Wayne: No, that's Monday. http://conniptions.org/?20070720 |
| I Wasn't Going To Tell Anyone | H: Wayne is trying to figure out what to do for his birthday, which is today. / [H looks to his left] / [H looks straight ahead] / H: "Coming up with something funny" wasn't even on the list. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070723 |
| Guitar Clinic | [Top banner: Great Gigs I Have Been To #3: Pete Smith and Chris Williams, Sound Control, 24th July 2007*]
/ Wayne: Every so often you hear someone play who reminds you what the possibilities of an instrument can be.
/ There's a reason that Taylor get Pete Smith to go round showing what you can do with... http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070725 |
| So They Have | Wayne: All this Tour De France doping stuff has got me thinking... / Wayne: What if they also banned performance enhancing drugs in music? / Chicken: ... / Chicken: That may be the most stupid thing you have ever said. http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20070727 |
| Of Music And Dentistry | H: Wayne would like to apologise for being so late with the comic today. / H: He is knackered and shagged out after a long day rehearsing with Vivachi and then having a filling replaced. / [H looks to his left] / H: Obsessively reloading his new self-promoting Facebook group is also probably quite... http://conniptions.org/?20070730 |
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