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Wigu: I Knew the Orange Hair was Suspicious Boys, I already know why you are here and you can just forget about finding out my frist name. You must simply accept that a princess has special secrets. / Apologies, my liege! Topato and I respect your-- / Speak on your own behalf!! / I am familiar with a female's inclination towards hypersensitivity...
WIGU: A Ferocity Tenacious Topato, did you also detect the peculiarly bizarre patterns in the princess' demeanor? / I did indeed. The brusque manner in which she refused our request for her to disclose her first name was utterly unacceptable! / I advise we make this investigation our primary interest and approach it with intensely...
WIGU: Surrender to its Chaos Topato, I loathe the process of time travel. / Focus your thoughts on restraining your innards. / Gentlemen, you are about to experience which typically induces death. Yur continued living will rly solely on your will power. / aaaaugh / Surrender to its chaos / Judging by the gawdy architecture and...
Wigu: Apparently the Princess is Related to Cockney Folk YEEEEEEEEEAAAARRRRRGH!! / There lies the entrance to the hospital! We must gain entry via subterfuge! / 'Allo, love! Me mate 'un me 'ere is kin to th' Princess, we are. Can y'elp us out? / 58,008th floor. / YEEEEARGH! / Topato! In the neighboring room! The Queen gives birth to the Princess!! / Let's...
Wigu: Queen Dongle Lays an Egg YEEEEARRGH!! / I was operating under the assumption that the Queen was birthing the Princess. That object bears little to no resemblance to our majestic Princess! / Topato, it seems the Queen's species first requires incubation as an egg! The intelligence we were given was erred! / Hmm. / Sheriff Pony,...
 
Wigu: Princess Dongle Rescued! POW! / The only thing keeping me from completely stealing your identity is the fact that I do not know your first name, Princess. / I'll never tell you. / Oh! I think you will, Princess! / Not so fast, potential faker! We come armed with the name of the true Princess! / My name is... Awesomelope. Awesomelope...
Happy Groundhog Day, Earth!! Yo, what is all that commotion outside? / Oh my god / Aw, crap, dude. / There are government agents poking around at my top-secret invisible spaceship! / Yo, and that one guy is my uncle Clarence. / He stay in the hot tub way too long and act all creepy around everybody parents. Everybody know he...
Government Agents & the Googel Maverick Panel 1 / Wigu: Hugo, we have to act fast or else those secret agents will learn the secret of the Googel Maverick!! / Panel 2 / Hugo: Yes, it be every boy's right to be rollin' in a secret spaceship that can turn invisible... Hugo will help you... for a price. / Panel 3 / Wigu: What do you want,...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Get back here, you! We only want to ask you as many questions as we want to! / Hugo! Use the Googel Maverick!! It's your only hope!! / OOF / Aw, man, where is the switch on this thing? / All right. Hugo is all up in this mutha now... / HUGO! CLOSE THE DOOR!! / Heh heh. / There's a button that say...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Dang it, Dad. Now I don't have a friend or a spaceship! I'm just a dumb ol' boy who's nt even special at all! / Wigu, that's a lie. / I've seen those grades you bring home, so I know you ain't dumb! And I think it takes a pretty special boy to pull off that hair-do! / And you know as long as I'm around,...
 
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Hey, Paisley. How about changin' your brother's hair back to not-freakish. / No, Mom, I don't think I'll do that. / You don't think you'll... wait, wait. What did you say to me? / He likes it, Mom! Why not teach him it's okay to be a little different! / You want me to lie to Wigu? That's a terrible...
Wigu: Happy Hours and Dune Buggies Wigu, I'm sorry you're having a terrible day. Do you wanna go to the mall and ridicule people? / Yeah, Paisley. That sounds like a cool thing to go do. / Hi, Mom. I was gonna ask you if you'd drive Wigu and I to the mall but I see it's "happy hour". / Happy hourS! / I guess we can ask Dad but we probably...
Quincy also has this thing about how women are like feral spider monkeys To be honest, I think the old girl's about to kick the bucket anyway. Figure I'll give her one last hurrah at the derby tonight. / 'Cause it don't matter how tough a man is, he can't beat a man that just don't care about nothin'. You remember that, Wigu. / Okay, Dad! / Now I gotta think up a scary...
WIGU: Woman's Intervention Qunicy: You kids need a ride someplace? I can getcha there in style! / Paisley: No thanks, Daddy... We'll just take our chances hitch-hiking. / Quincy: Suit yourself... but it might be the last tiem you get to ride in the old van... / Wigu: Paisley!! I want to ride in the van one last time! / Paisley:...
WIGU: You wanna die like ELVIS?! Quincy: So, do you kids wanna go for a ride, or what? / Paisley: No Thanks, Dad. I want to die, but I don't want to die like that. / Qunicy: What? A monster truck's just as good a way to die as any! / Paisley: No, Dad. You don't understand. I want to die in a way that will make everyone on Earth...
 
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Dad, Wigu and I are just gonna walk to the mall, okay? / Suit yourself! / Like the "Trail of Tears"... / We are in walkin' mode/ We are walkin' down the road / Look out for that dead thing, Paisley!! / Wigu, this was a really dumb idea. / Let's just go back home. / No way, Paisley!! / A car is coming...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Quincy's father sense: My kids are in trouble!!! / Quincy has a monster truck van, it is amazing! / Kids, what the hell's going on?! / Somebody threw a bottle out of a car and hit Wigu in the head! / Wigu bleeds / Let's load him up and get to the hospital!! (lots of exclamation points in this one) / Did you...
Well, it's not. Paisley, you stay here and make sure the doctors don't try to trick Wigu. I got me some vigilante justice to dish out while I'm still legally insane from anger. / Please, Daddy, don't. I think you should let the police handle this -- / The police? HA! Bunch of corn-fed mama's boys. / Daddy, I just...
Hard times for Harry the Hamburglar Gotta find a pink car. Gotta find me a pink car with the license plates "BUDD LYT". Gotta find the car that hit my boy in the head with a beer bottle... / Gotta think of a way to do it where the cops think it's an accident or suicide... / Well, what do you know? / ... damned ol' Hamburglar / What's...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Let me ask you a question, Hamburger Boy. / Do you like hitting little boys with beer bottles? / What? No! I mean, no, that wasn't me! / Y'know, I really rather you'd've enjoyed the thing you did that I'm about to destroy you over. / I say "hang the bastard from the ugliest tree in the county"! / ......
 
WIGU: The Hamburglar Confesses So, how do you think I should deal with this evil man? / Well, that all depends on if he is indeed the "man behind the bottle." / I admit it. I did it. And, I feel real bad about it. / Well, then. Mr. Hamburglar do you have any children? / Look at me dude. / Childless loner. / Later: Shallow Brook Dam / Are...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Mr. Tinkle, are you quite sure you're prepared to take the life of a man? / The rock shards should provide sufficient damage to baffle forensic scientists. What remains will be consumed by the giant, mutated catfish that roam the dam's base. / / I am prepared. This son of a bitch hurt my little boy. / Get...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET TOPATO!! I have received a dramatic alert message! / What quirky yet powerful force threatens our destiny this time, Sheriff Pony? / The father of Wigu Tinkle has just thrown a man from a hydro-electric dam!! Do you know what that means to us?! / Um... another human being's consciousness is about to...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET, 08MAR03 Earth-time frozen / Sheriff Pony, It is my opinion that we are too late to stop this murder. / There must be something we can do!! / We could unfreeze time and guide the victim to safety, but the fact remains that with this action, Father Tinkle has crossed over into the League of Murderers. There is...
WIGU: The Earth Is Deleted Sheriff Pony, we simply need to identify the event that led to Father Tinkle's murderous act, and delete the worldline in which that event occurred. / But Topato! There are infinite worldlines! How can you be sure?! / Process of elimination, my pessimistic partner!! Fourth-dimension-based worldlines...
 
WIGU: TOPATO DESTROYS THE EARTH Topato!? / What happened?! / Why do you gaze at the monitor silently with an expressino of confused shock? / Err... / Um... / Due to an error which was in no way my own, the wrong worldline was deleted. / With consequences. / Which worldline? / The worldline in which two asteroids colleded and began drawing...
WIGU: Topato and Sheriff Pony begin to lose their memories Uh, Topato... what were we just talking about? / I doubt it was anything of urgent importance. / My suspicion gland secretes doubt. I am going to check the logs. / Topato! My irrational suspicion has merit! We deleted a worldline and all of our memories of that worldline are rapidly fading! / Uhh......
WIGU: The Princess is Hot Our memories are fading at breakneck speed! I can hardly remember our goal! / Goals are boring. Probably we are forgetting boring junk. / Topato, help me write a letter to the Queen before I forget how to write!! / What, are we nerds? That's nerd stuff. All I remember is we are wild dudes that know...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Okay, Topato. I've finished this letter to the Queen but I have forgotten what it means! / PARTY TIME!! / I think weneed to take this letter to the princess, now... / But... yeah! That sounds nice! Let's have a party with Princess Dongle!! / Let me tell you somethin', Sheriff Pony. Those royals can...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET BOOM / GASP! / CLIK / Hello!!! Are you the Princess?! We're the Party Police and you're under arrest!! / Of course I am the Princess, Topato!! You are required to request an audience with me! / Let me ask you one question, baby. DO YOU LIKE TO PARTY? / Well... yeah! Now that you mention it... I do like...
 

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