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WIGU: Why do you think they call it hurts? Panel 1. Paisley at computer in her room. Bookcase in background with abstract bric-a-brac. / Paisley: Man, all the cool kids on internet-diary.com post cool pictures of themselves cutting themselves. / Panel 2. Paisley glances at samurai sword on wall in background / Paisley: Well... I guess...
WIGU: Shizzle Fazizzle Panel 1 / QUINCY: *sigh* / Panel 2 / QUINCY: *SIGH* / ROMY: What's the matter, baby? Is your "shizzle fazizzle?" / Panel 3 / QUINCY (dejectedly): *That's* what's wrong! I don't understand all this high-fangled talkin' and techmo slang. I'm just like an old wore-out caveman that don't understand...
WIGU: Idle teens are the devil's boneless buffalo wings Panel 1. Paisley's room. Paisley seen from behind at computer. / Paisley (thought balloon): Man, all the cool kids on Internet-diary.com take personality tests to see what kind of chain-restaurant appetizer they are... / Panel 2. Paisley standing, looking at tiny cut on arm / Paisley (thought balloon:...
WIGU: AKUTELY D-RANG'D KLOWN TEAM Man all the cool kids on Internet-Diary.com listen to Heavy-metal-rap by soe guys who dress up as mean clowns. / I'll just risk severe legal consequences and download some of their songs before I spend my money on something I've never heard. / Daddy, will you call the cable company and get the internet...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Ugh... Wigu, you okay, dogg? / I hate the crap out of you, Hugo. / Wigu, I am sorry for crashin' the G-Mav. I grew mad due to its wicked power. / Hugo, there is something wrong with the Googel Maverick!! / Quiet, Wigu! Do you know where we at? / Are we in the jungle? / Worse! This be Hadley Mountain!...
 
WIGU: One thing worse than being stranded alone in the woods... Panel 1. Hugo and Wigu in Hadley Mountain woods. Googel Maverick crashed in background. In far background, Hadley Mountain denizens seen peeking from behind bushes and trees. / Hugo (reaching for piece of equipment broken off Maverick): Yow, Wigu! I think this be a piece of the G-Mav-- / Wigu (running...
WIGU: Sundown Aw, it's no dang use. I didn't design the Googel Maverick with a way to fix it. / Well what purpose do all them panels and such serve? / They are for looks. I am a fraud, Hugo. / Yo, the sun be goin' down soon. We best learn some spaceship fixin' or get our runnin' shoes on. / But we can't just leave...
WIGU: First contact Panel 1. Sunset on Hadley Mountain. Wigu and Hugo looking scared. Crashed Googel Maverick in background. / Wigu: Hugo, I think we oughta stay the night in the Googel Maverick and wait for the daytime. / Hugo: Hm. / Panel 2. Hugo and Wigu seen from behind, looking into trees. / Hugo: Does the G-Mav be...
WIGU: Impostors give elves a bad rap Panel 1. Hadley mountain woods. Wigu standing, Hugo sitting. / Wigu: Hugo, are you okay?! / Hugo: Yo... I'm a'ight, Wigu. I got so mad at them monsters that I lsot control. / Panel 2. Hadley mountain denizens speaking in weird typeface / Blue-haired denizen: We are not monsters! We are Elves. / Gray-haired...
WIGU: Our Queen Is Expecting You Panel 1 / / HUGO: Maybe they be goblins but I do not think they elves... / / WIGU: Quiet, Hugo! You'll make them mad! / / FIRST ELF: Young Wigu is wise. / / SECOND ELF: Angering us would be most unwise. / Panel 2 / / FIRST ELF (beckoning) : Follow us for we have much to show you. / Panel 3 /...
 
WIGU: Super Sizes of the Id Panel 1. Tinkle kitchen. Quincy sitting at table with malt liquor in a paper bag and mini-pies. Open refrigerator with more malt and pies open in background. / Quincy: Mmm, mmm! Malt liquor and mini pecan pies! / Panel 2. Romy with Cosmo pointing at refrigerator contents / Romy: Quincy, what is he meaning...
WIGU: More taste! Less filling! Panel 1. Tinkle kitchen. Romy standing, looking at Quincy, sitting and chewing, with malt liquor bottle in paper bag. Topato magnet on refrigerator. / Romy: So, Quincy, do you mind telling me where you got a magical, psychic, food-generating refreigerator? / Quincy: I wish I could, baby. / Panel...
WIGU: Guess who's having Wigu for dinner? Panel 1. Romy and Quincy in Tinkle kitchen / Romy (standing and calling upstairs): KIDS, DINNER'S READY!! WHO LIKES SHRIMP AND LOBSTER AND TACOS AND HAMBURGERS AND PIZZA? / Quincy (sitting): And pies! / Panel 2. Paisley enters kitchen, Quincy in foreground. / Paisley: What's the occasion? Daddy, did you...
WIGU: Danger! Elf destiny ahead! Panel 1. Hadley mountain at night. Elf queen and blue-haired elf talking to Hugo and Wigu. / Elf Queen (talking in weird font): WeEee AuGh chEee ChAW / Blue-haired elf (talking in weird font, pointing finger of command): The ELf QuEen WiShes tO eXplain YoUr PurpoSe. LiSten Or SuffER. / Hugo: Yo, I be...
WIGU: Diminutive magnets for trouble Panel 1. Hadley Mountain at night. Wigu and Hugo follow gray-haired elf and blue-haired elf through forest. / Wigu: Hillbilly elves, I still do not understand why you need us to help you throw over society. / Blue-haired elf: We ElVes ArE SupeRior To NoRmaLs in aLmoSt EveRy WaY--inteLligenCe, Longevity,...
 
WIGU: These legs were made for walkin', that's just what they'll do Panel 1. Hugo and Wigu next to crashed Googel Maverick. Back of blue-haired elf's head in foreground. / Blue-haired elf: NoW YoU two wiLl PiloT thE gOlden orb and rain hellfiRe uPon thE city. we wilL foLlOw ClOSe behiNd and plunDEr iN YOur Wake of deStRUction. / Hugo: But-- / Wigu: SHH! / Panel...
Wigu: Elf Murder is Wrong Hillbilly Elf: Excellent! Let the prophecy be fulfilled! Lead us into the city of NORMALS and let the revolution be greeted with waves of gore!! / Hugo: Have you elves been hittin' the elf pipe? We got us about a million tons of elf mashin' torque!! / Hugo: Go on, Wigu!! Stomp them fool elves!! / (Wigu's...
WIGU: One o' these days these legs are gonna walk all over you. Panel 1. Hugo and Wigu in cockpit of Googel Maverick / Wigu: I'm not gonna kill those elves, Hugo! But I am gonna scare the poop out of 'em! / Hugo: Aw, yeah. / Panel 2. Maverick standing on legs. Back of elves' heads in foreground. / Wigu's voice (from inside Maverick): You elves got 10 seconds to run...
Wigu: Returning Home to Magic Food Wigu: Ah, there's my house! Let's put the Googel Maverick on cloaky mode and get our eats on! / Quincy: Children! There you are! / Romy: We were starting to get slightly curious! / Wigu: Dad, me and Hugo been kickin' it old school and we got mad hungers! / Quincy: Well you came to the right place as...
WIGU: Take your merchandise to the customer service window in Hell Panel 1. Paisley and Romy sitting at kitchen table. Paisley has a plate of waffles, Romy has a plate of lobster. There's a can of Bud between them--did Romy get tired of Cosmo? / Paisley: I feel like if I eat one more waffle I'll get full. But I've had 50. / Romy: The girl is right, Quincy. ...
 
WIGU: Allied against a greater evil Panel 1. Hugo and Paisley at kitchen table. Hugo eating creamsicle, juice box, and mashed potatoes. Paisley has waffles and coffee. / Hugo: Aw, yeah! This magic refrigerator's the best thing that happened since they outlawed school paddlin'! / Panel 2. Wigu in kitchen doorway, pointing finger of command / Wigu:...
WIGU: : The beginning of stuff that might be different Panel 1. Quincy with coil of rope around shoulder stops to see Romy / Quincy: Baby, me and the boys are goin' adventurin'. I'm not sure when we'll be back. / Romy: Be back by ten. / Quincy: OK. / Panel 2. Wigu following Quincy. What's that on the table? / Wigu: But Dad! It's almost eight! We might not...
WIGU: First one in gets his pick of whatever's there Panel 1. Quincy leaning on well / Quincy: Look, boys. Why don't we just burn all the stuff the Glowy Orb gave to us and go play some dang "Mario Kart." / Panel 2. Wigu / Wigu: Dad, we can't. The Glowy Orb can grant any wishes you want, so I bet he's totally imnoimpotent. I bet you all anything that...
WIGU: Where Hugo? Panel 1. Wellhead in Tinkle lawn. Quincy and Wigu looking at the steel plate that just slid over it. / Quincy: OH MY GOD!! The well sealed up right behind Hugo! It's evil! / Wigu: OH MY GOD!! AAAH!! / Panel 2. Wellhead retracts into ground. / Sound: CLUNK / No dialogue / Panel 3. Hole fills in...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET {{There doesn't seem to be a comic in the archives for 6/6/2004.}}
 
WIGU: Nothing but hide on the inside Panel 1. Wigu, by table / Wigu: Dad! the only way to get Hugo out of the ground is with your backhoe!! / Panel 2. Quincy rushing out, Wigu in background / Quincy: You're right, Wigu! To the Backhoe-mobile! / Panel 3. Quincy backhoeing in the back yard, Wigu looking through the dirt / Quincy: Wigu!...
WIGU: Naked in the dark with nerds and pervs Panel 1. Underground. Hugo, naked, faces glowy egg. / Hugo: (seen from rear, his hands in front, probably to obscure his privates from glowy egg) Yo, what is goin' on here? You better not be a perv, cuz Hugo got a knack for puttin' pervs in ambulances. / Glowy egg (speaking in weird blue James Earl Jones...
WIGU: Meet the Diablo Transcriber's Title: A moment of not exactly silence / Panel 1. Wigu, with bandaid on head. Quincy in hole in ground, resting arm on edge of hole. / Wigu: It's no use, Dad. We could dig forever and never find Hugo. / Quincy: I'll get my junk in order, then. I'm sure I'll do a couple months for this...
WIGU: UFO death-race Panel 1. Paisley and Romy inside, window in background / Paisley: Mom, do you think that magic fridge food was really evil? / Romy: (clenching fists in frustration, left eye closed): ENNNGH / Panel 2. Googel Maverick wooshes by window. Paisley and Romy see it out of the corners of their eyes. / Sound:...
WIGU: A timely dose of danger! Panel 1. Shallow Brook. Googel Maverick chasing Hugotti Diablo above city streets at 30 feet altitude. Awning over sidewalk cafe in background. / Hugo's voice(from Diablo): You can't catch my pimp ride in yo' stock hooptie! / Wigu's voice(from Maverick): Stop, Hugo! / Panel 2. Chase seen from above,...
 

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