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| WIGU: Ameritrash meets Eurotrash | Panel 1. Shallow Brook water tower, label "...BROOK" painted red on cream background with rust stains. Quincy climbing up side ladder, followed by Hugo. Hugo has lost his footing on the underside and is holding on by his hands. Quincy's backhoe-mobile parked in foreground. No dialogue. / Panel 2. Quincy... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041001.html |
| WIGU: The gloves come off on the water tower | Panel 1. Closeup on Claus and Quincy
/ Klaus: Herr Tinkle, I am a musician like yourself, but ze adult films industry in my country is vile and corrupt. I came to America to find work and you hoard it all.
/ Quincy: It ain't my fault I'm awesome. / Panel 2. Closeup on Hugo and Humphrey
/ Hugo: Wat you... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041004.html |
| WIGU: Narrowly avoiding a cliff-hanger | Panel 1. Klaus faces Quincy with fists. In background, Hugo barehanded faces Humphrey with blades.
/ Klaus: Herr Tinkle, agree to my demands or else prepare to need to remove ze Casio from your bottom-side!
/ Quincy: I've had about enough of your vague threats, Klimax. / Panel 2. Closeup on Klaus
/ Klaus:... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041005.html |
| WIGU: Wigu, a Tesla for the new millennium | Panel 1. Students filing out of Ms. Jackson's class
/ Panel title: 12:00 pm
/ Sound: RAWNG
/ Ms. Jackson: That's the recess bell! Finish your plates and play nicely. / Panel 2. Closeup on Betty Lou Thelma Liz and Wigu, Ms. Jackson seen from behind in background.
/ Betty Lou Thelma Liz: Wigu, I give you... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041006.html |
| WIGU: Why he hates cats | Panel 1. Wigu and Betty Lou Thelma Liz sitting at table in lunchroom, mini-milk cartons visible.
/ Wigu: Stupidetta, can you believe those teachers were makin' fun of my idea?
/ Betty Lou Thelma Liz: I have a name. It's Betty Lou Thelma Liz. / Panel 2. Closeup on Wigu, with back of Betty... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041007.html |
| Wigu: Promethean Wigu seeks cat | Panel 1. Betty Lou Thelma Liz and Wigu in lunch room, seen from above.
/ Wigu: Okay, we're finished eating. Will you help me find a stray cat?
/ Betty Mae Thelma Liz: I guess. / Panel 2. Wigu and Betty Lou Thelma Liz on playground
/ Wigu (Looking around): Where are all the dang cats? There's usually... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041008.html |
| Wigu: You catch more cats with bologna than you do with sneakin' | Panel 1. Defiant cat cornered in cinderblocked corner of schoolyard. Half-buried coke-can in ground. No dialogue. / Panel 2. Wigu approaching cat, Betty Mae Thelma Liz watching.
/ Wigu: We got that sucker cornered! Move real slow, so you don't scare him! Go into sneak mode like this.
/ Effect (Wigu's... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041011.html |
| Wigu: Scratch a potato and you find the poison | Guest strip by patches. Three scenes in one panel. / Scene 1. Bear in overalls holds branch out toward Topato.
/ Topato: Little animal, it is my hope that you do not intend to molest me with that tree appendage. / Scene 2. Topato and bear facing reader
/ Topato: I would venture to recount the ghastly... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041012.html |
| WIGU: Moral dilemma between vacuum and energy | Panel 1. Playground. Betty Lou Thelma Liz, box with air holes (out of one of which emerges a paw), Wigu
/ Betty Mae Thelma Liz (holding box lid down): Wigu, this cat hates it in this box. Let's let it out.
/ Wigu (pointing at her and box): What you're feeling is 100% clean power. / Panel... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041013.html |
| WIGU: Zen and the art of world rescuin' | Panel 1. Wigu, box, vacuum, and Betty Lou Thelma Liz sitting on the lawn.
/ Wigu: Okay. We got a cat and a vacuum cleaner. We just have to find a way to hook them together.
/ Box: ROWR
/ Betty Lou Thelma Liz: Wigu, this keeps feeling more wrong. / Panel 2. Janitor Darrel returnin' from school buildin'... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041014.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Janitor Darrel and Wigu strap Principal Bootsey's cat, Booduh, to a vaccuum cleaner in order to restore Wigu's pride after being made fun of. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041015.html |
| WIGU: Sticky situation in Art Class | Panel 1. Paisley, Mariah, and Antar seated at table. Picture of one-finger salute on piece of paper on table. Art teacher standing on other side.
/ Paisley: How does this school manage to make art class dumb?
/ Art teacher (holding tube of glue): Class, as you may have heard, our budget has been... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041018.html |
| WIGU: Paisley gets weird | Panel 1. Paisley and Mariah seated in art class.
/ Paisley (tube of glue stuck to nose, leaning back in chair): OH GOD, THERE'S A TUBE OF MODEL GLUE STUCK TO MY FACE!!! / Panel 2. Mariah and Paisley
/ Mariah (holding out finger of command): Paisley, don't panic! Are you sure it's stuck?
/ Paisley:... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041019.html |
| WIGU: Pegicorn ride to the white light | Panel 1. School nurse and narrative assistance drone
/ Nurse: Now, what's the problem?
/ Drone: This chick got a tube of glue stuck to her face or somethin'. / Panel 2. Closeup on Paisley, comatose, with tube of glue stuck to her nose
/ Nurse's voice: My GOD... this girl needs real immediate medical... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041020.html |
| WIGU: Paisley as a GOD groupie | Panel 1. Paisley riding Pegicorn through clouds. I just noticed that her dream clothing is long purple slacks instead of the purple miniskirt and fishnets she had on when she got glued.
/ Paisley: Pegicorn, this doesn't make any sense! Girls like me dream about riding Pegasus Unicorns, but we don't actually... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041021.html |
| WIGU: Paisley meets her father | Panel 1. Paisley looking thoughtful, oversized David Bowie looking down at her
/ Paisley: David Bowie, I'm honored but I'm even more confused.
/ David Bowie: WOULD IT HELP IF I WAS NORMAL-SIZED?
/ Paisley: Maybe. / Panel 2. Normal sized David Bowie with his arm around Paisley
/ David Bowie: Paisley, you... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041022.html |
| WIGU: Paisley is the daughter of God | School Nurse: Paisley, wake up! Can you hear me? Wake up! / Paisley: I am the alpha and the omega / Mariah: Paisley, where are you going? You need to sit and relax.
/ Paisley: I'm the daughter of God, Mariah. I've got to get to work right now. / Mariah: Paisley, you've been knocked out for the... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041025.html |
| WIGU: Waterslides and Ponies | Stupidetta: I can't believe we got kicked out of school. Everything is over.
/ Wigu: It's all my fault, Stupidetta. But we'll figure out something. / Janitor Darrel: You kids can come n' live With Me if YOu want to. I got alla the Muppet Shows on tape n' a big ol' TV. / Stupidetta: We might as well... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041026.html |
| WIGU: My other hovercraft is a Mercedes | Leaving cingular elementary
/ Janitor Darrel: Come on dhildurn, we're Outcasts now. The ol' schooL don't got no use for us no more. / Principle Bootsey: Ugh. I can't get ahold of those kids' parents... Maybe expulsion was a little too severe... / Principle Bootsey: Hey, Kids, I decided... kids? / Wigu:... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041027.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Title: Wigu: Lifestyles of the Custodial and Eccentric / Panel 1. Wigu and Betty Lou Thelma Liz, astonished
/ Wigu: OH MY GOD.
/ Betty Lou Thelma Liz: Janitor Darrel, you live here? / Panel 2. Janitor Darrel, walking from hovercraft
/ Janitor Darrel: Uh-huh this here is where... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041028.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Transcriber's title: Wigu: Janitor Darrel's megabucks from heaven--in pennies / Panel 1. Janitor Darrel in casual clothes and cooking robot (wearing toque and carrying hors d'oeuvres) facing Betty Lou Thelma Liz, Wigu behind her
/ Janitor Darrel: AlL right are you youngins ready to tend to th'... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041029.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Wow, Janitor Darrel! That's your TV?
/ Yeah that's the little 'un, th' big un's up in the recreation wing. / All of humanity is warned to be on the lookout for driverless cars tonight -- Channel 17 has confirmed that the rapture has begun! / Paisley Tinkle, a student at Time Warner High School, has... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041102.html |
| WIGU:FIRING SQUAD | WelCome to FIRING SQUAD! I'm ZACK ASSBACK with my Co-host, GORDY JAYPOPPER!!
/ Hello.
/ Today's topic--PAISLEY TINKLE!! DAUGHTER of GOD or DERANGED TEEN?!! / I say REPENT NOW! We've all seen the warning signs and GOD IS FINALLY CASHING IN HIS CHIPS!! GORDY?!!
/ Zack, this girl has suffered massive neurological... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041103.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Paisley, when is Armageddon gonna start?
/ Can you make my boobs bigger?
/ Can you make mine smaller?
/ All in time, children. / Paisley, what the hell are you doing? / I'm the daughter of God, Mariah.
/ I've got to save a bunch of souls...
/ or something... / I think I only thought I was the Daughter... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041104.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | MEET THE MESSIAH! $15.00 / I am the Pooooope!
/ I am here to see the Messiiiaaah...
/ Um, I don't see you on the list... / I am the Poooope you have to do what I saaaay... / Oh, I am so sorry!
/ I thought you said something else.
/ Please go in, your majesty. / Wh- wh- wh- what can I do for you, your... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041105.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | it was a "bring your own pitchforks and torches" kind of deal http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041108.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Hang on children, we got to do some fancy manuverin' to evade that angry mob / How are we gonna outrun them?
/ This hovercraft is too slow!
/ Alls we got to do is find some water! / Janitor Darrel, the city reservoir is right behind that landfill!! / HOORAY!! / Put on yer life jackets childurn, the... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041109.html |
| WIGU: precariously treading water | Childurn I ain't got no life perservurs. If anybody cain't swim grab hold of me.
/ The water is burning!
/ DEAD FISH!! / MEANWHILE IN BUTTER DIMENSION QUAD...
/ Topato, has the situation on Earth yet reached a level that you feel necessitates Springing into Action?
/ Please brief me on these events, Sheriff... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041110.html |
| WIGU: Magical Babies from Space | Something feels very wrong, Topato!
/ You must own the Storm! The Storm does not own you! / *WHUMP*
/ Something indeed felt odd about that interdimensional journey... / We have become BABIES! / The corporeality catapults must have been incorrectly calibrated, resulting in the reduction of our ripeness!
/ Topato,... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041111.html |
| WIGU: The most disgusting thing in the whole world | This water is like swimming in bleach!
/ We're going to drown to death!
/ What are we going to do, Topato? / Since we have been reduced to infantile form, our powers have been reduced proportionally.
/ We have to utilize the power of our wits to find a solution to this problem! / Topato, we may be able... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20041112.html |
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