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| WIGU: The One True God | Sheriff Pony: Topato, that small body of water is where our battle will be fought. / Sheriff Pony: Topato, are you prepared to do battle with the mighty plesiosaur?
/ Topato: Are these plesiosaurs similar to the ones that live in our world?
/ Sheriff Pony: They are exactly the same as the ones God placed... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050711.html |
| WIGU: Geology | Topato: This underground chamber is sprawling! See how it sprawls!
/ Sheriff Pony: Indeed the geology of Earth is fascinating! / Sheriff Pony: The battle rages below, Topato! Father Tinkle's battle skills seem quite impressive!
/ Topato: Color me unimpressed. / Topato: I will wriggle through that small... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050712.html |
| Wigu: Topato's Poison Leaks | Topato, you must contain that leak at once or else all of Earth's population will become contaminated by your poison.
/ I cannot contain the leak with all my might! / Whu-- what the hell was that? / The dinosaurs are falling asleep! Dad is falling asleep!
/ Something really bad is happening, Wigu. / Soon... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050713.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | soon... / La dee da dee da dee ditty ditty daa / Topato, your paralyzing secretions have forever altered the course of human events! / I shall place an order for the deletion of this universe. / No! This problem must be dealt with using hard work and ingenuity! / Drat. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050714.html |
| WIGU: The Primary Objective | Every water-based life form on Earth is now temporarily paralyzed, Topato! We are in directo violation of the Primary Objective!
/ It is the ultimate faux pas. / We must return the Tinkle family to the surface! Humans can only breathe liquids in utero!
/ I find myself constantly amazed that these humans... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050721.html |
| WIGU: Bilderberg | A FEW HOURS LATER...
/ Unngh... / Man, what the hell did I get into this time? / Commander, the "suspect" is coming to.
/ Good. I can not wait to have a little conversation with him! / You're a clever man, Mr. Tinkle.
/ Heh heh, I think you got me mixed up with somebody else. / Oh, I don't think so,... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050722.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | All right, dude. Tell me who you are and what I'm doing here.
/ Don't waste my time, Mr. Tinkle; my time is valuable. You know that I know that you know what you did. / You poisoned the world's water supply, Mr. Tinkle, inflicting all of Earth's creatures with a form of paralysis for nearly five hours.
/ Man,... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050725.html |
| WIGU: Nothing Can Stop You | I could use some help, Paisley.
/ Wigu, there is no way you can - / creeeee / WHUMP! / How... how did you do that?
/ You just have to believe real hard that nothing can stop you. / WHUMP! / IF YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING CAN STOP YOU THEN YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050726.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | It's three o'clock?! How is it already three o'clock?
/ Time keeps on slippin' into the future. / Seriously, Wigu. What's the last thing you remember before we woke up in the van?
/ Dad was out stabbin' some dinosaurs and-- hey, where's Dad? / Mom's in jail and Dad is missing. Do you have any idea what... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050727.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | This all feels really creepy, Wigu. Let's listen to the van radio and see if there's any news.
/ The NPR station! / ..I'm Robert Siegel. Scientists remain baffled this evening as to what exactly caused every living creature on the planet to lose consciousness for five hours today. The White House has... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050728.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Topato, I advise you to be on your best behavior. The King is rumored to be quite upset with us.
/ I will take great care to avoid dancing about in a buffoonish manner. / Commoners, suppress your ecstatic hysteria! His Excellency King Dongle approaches!
/ I'VE GOT HALF A MIND TO SHOOT THE BOTH OF YOU... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050729.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | INTERIM SUMMARY
/ Topato and Sheriff Pony race toward Earth so they can attempt to repair the damage they caused when they accidentally poisoned the world's water supply¹ / Romy Tinkle is teching other female inmates how to cheat on their taxes... / Wigu and Paisley Tinkle, now without legal guardians,... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050801.html |
| WIGU: Otto the Mulatto | Bilderberg: I must say Mr. Tinkle, you've either got a very high tolerance for pain or an incredibly strong allegience to your cause.
/ Quincy: It mostly has to do with not having a clue what you're talkin' about. / Bilderberg: Mr. Tinkle I'd like to intoduce you to Otto the Mulatto. Otto here specializes... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050802.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Mr. Tinkle I do believe I've lost my patience with you! Let's continue our conversation after I've allowed my temper some time to cool.
/ Whatever, dude! / HUURRKK! / I... I'm not even sure how you begin a conversation like this.
/ I'm a reptoid. I am from outer ouuuter spaaace. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050803.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | What is this place? How come I'm in here?
/ Dude if you are in here it is because you is in some serious freaky doo-doo. / This here's the prison of the shadow government, big boy. If you are in here you have done somethin' to piss off the whole universe. / Well I was in a knife fight with a gang of... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050804.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | MEEEEEAN WHILE...
/ O, Goddess! I would pay any price to never have to walk again!
/ Paisley, can we have a party?
/ It doesn't matter. / Yo, Hugo! It's Wigu! I'm gonna have the coolest party ever tonight! You wanna come over? / Well I dunno, Wigu! I be kickin hells outta my cousin Shoots And Asks on... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050805.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Yo, Wigu! My cousin say he down to rock a party soon as he done workin' this investment deal wit da King of Nigeria. / What about dat Belma Liz girl? She comin' too?
/ I don't know! I will call her up! / That sounds like fun, Wigu! Daddy's in Tokyo and Nanny took a nap because of all that brandy. / Hugo,... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050808.html |
| WIGU: Ready To Party | Hey, Wigu! Nice to see yous! This here my cousin Shoots-and-Asks. You ready to party?
/ Yeah! / Um, Hugo, can I talk to you for a minute? / Hugo, I don't really know if it's a good idea to have a grown-up at my party.
/ Relax, kid, Shoots-and-Asks be 21 but he brain be on a fourth-grade thinkin' level! / Yo,... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050809.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Ah Hugo, uh... wudn't we s'pose ta do sumthin'?
/ Hugo, you guys were supposed to pick up Stupidetta McPrissypants!
/ Aw, damn! / You kids take my car. I done had some beers already.
/ More safety. / Hey Wigu, don't tell nobody but I don't know how to drive a stick. Do you?
/ What does that even mean? / What... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050810.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Oh my God the Google Maverick is back! I thought I'd never see her again! / Yo, you best get this thing his before a growed-up see it. / Okay, right after we pick up Stupidetta Mcprisspants! / Damn, hoss! You gots it bad for that lil' girl, ain't'cha? / It's not like that , Hugo. She is my freind... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050811.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Sheriff Pony, that was by far the most unpleasant trans-dimensional journey I have ever endured.
/ We must do something about those Travel-bots, Topato. / Remind me of the first task we must conquer to begin to correct the horrible destiny we've thrust upon this wretched planet.
/ We must find Wigu Tinkle! / THE... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050812.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | What's chasin' us Wigu? Ain't this thing got no rear-view mirrors?!?
/ I designed the Googel Maverick to look forwards. We must rely on speed! / Topato, Wigu Tinkle's aircraft is accelerating! It is our mission to intercept him!
/ Earth's thick, primitive atmosphere inhibits the full potential of our... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050815.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Must divert all my reserve energy to bio-thrusters... taste, reasoning, and pity systems going on standby...
/ I must rest! Godspeed, Topato! / Yo, Wigu, we can't shake 'em!
/ Don't worry, Hugo! We got some tricks up our sleeves! / Activate the oil slicks!
/ So... close! / Wigu's spacecraft appears to... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050816.html |
| WIGU: Evasive Actions | Officer: Sir, we're tracking a high velocity UFO over Denver, Colorado! / Bilderberg: Get it out of the sky and bring it to me. / Hugo: More bogeys, Wigu! They a ass-load of bogeys this time!
/ Wigu: Take evasive actions! / Hugo: Yo which button be for evasive actions?!
/ Wigu: OH MY GOD THEY ARE SHOOTING... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050817.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Great glutinous globules!
/ Those primitive aircraft seek to destroy Wigu Tinkle's aircraft! / ...that would likely result in Wigu's death, which is contrary to my objective! I must spring into action!
/ Shoo! / Wigu, what's goin' on? It feels like we wobblin' around on a flat tire!
/ I don't know, Hugo!... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050818.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | THOOM!
/ How are you gentlemen?! / Topato! It is good to see you dogg but we ain't got time to buy stuff now!
/ We're under attack!
/ My appearance is altruistic in nature, not pecuniary! / I observed the antagonistic maneuvers of your zealous opponents outside! I recommend the swift initiation of a destructive... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050819.html |
| WIGU: Dooga Dooga Dooga | Wigu, if you wish to escape this conflict alive you must give me control. / Oh, I don't know, Topato! / Wigu, it is not my desire to acquire command of this vessel violently. Please hand me the command peripheral.
/ Okay, but don't hurt anybody... / Woo! / DOOGA DOOGA DOOGA / Yes!
/ No! / DOOGA DOOGA... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050822.html |
| WIGU: Z | Topato, you shot down a USA fighter jet!
/ And the pilot was unharmed provided her parachute functioned properly / Oh, this is a nightmare... I wish I'd never wished to have my very own spaceship... / Hmm...what action does the button marked "Z" initiate?
/ No, Topato! Don't touch that! / Oh My God!... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050823.html |
| WIGU: Spiritual Enlightenment | MEANWHILE...
/ Paisley: Ugh. I guess I should check on that little party my brother is supposed to be throwing. / Paisley (thinks): Hmm... I wonder if that young Native American man is supposed to be here, or...
/ Shoots And Asks: Hee hee, Homer / Paisley: Excuse me, are you supposed to be here or are... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050824.html |
| WIGU: Shoots and Asks and the Million Dollar Airplane | Do you have any other ancient knowledge you can share with me, sir?
/ Me buy 'um scratch-off, win fiddy mil. Me take 14 cash, figure me not live long anyway. / So you have to take chances if you want success, but it's foolish to count on long-lasting success because life can end at any moment!
/ Huh? / Then... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20050825.html |
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