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WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Mom, I like it when you drive me to school because your car is the coolest mom car that is even battle-damaged!! / Don't get used to it, Wigu. I'm getting it fixed this afternoon. / When I get old enough to drive, I'm gonna have the awesomest car ever made!! / I have a picture of it here somewhere...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Have fun at school today, Wigu! Try not to get sent home today, hon! / OK, Mom!! / Yo, Tinkle! / ! / Yo, your mom got a phat ride, dogg. I bet yo' family be havin' some bank. / My mom works at the bank. / Yo, forgiveness to my manners. I am Hugo Rodriguez, it be a pleasure to meet you. / Why do you smell...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET COME ON, GIRLS, we've only got three hours until showtime. / Paisley, I think we're kind of like, getting away from what a cheer routine is usually about . . . and we haven't slept all night . . . / You all disgust me . . . not even willing to sacrifice one night's sleep to create the greatest cheer...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET In light of our rapidly approaching deadline, I'm going to try to dumb down or cheer routine. You all . . . go take a nap or something . . . / OMIGOD guys, I'm starting to think putting Paisley in charge of our squad was a super awful idea. / Super duper awful. / I mean, I don't even know what she's...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET OMIGOD What are we doing? It hurts! / We're running to the mall as fast as we totally can. / The mall isn't evem open 'till ten. / Really? But I see cars there in the morning. / The mall lets old folks come in and walk around in the morning. / Yeah, in the mornin' the mall is like a crazy old-timer mall....
 
WIGU: Goth Squad OMIGOD, Paisley is gonna kill us when she wakes up... / Look, she won't wake up for hours, we'll be ok, Jordan... / Hello, she's GOTH. She has no place being a cheerleader in the first place! / Yeah... / She's trying to make us into some stupid "goth squad." It's embarassing and it will make us look...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Those idiot cheerleaders think Paisley Tinkle isn't good enough for them?? / They say hell has no fury like a woman scorned . . . / Well that fury is a harmless BABY TANTRUM compared to the fury od a scorned NIHILISTIC, DEPRESSED chick . . . / MOMMY THEY'RE KICKING ME OFF THE SQUA-HAWD / Mommy's in...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET -- kicking you off the cheerleading squad?! Are you sure, Paisley?! / Yes, Mom. I overheard them while they thought I was sleeping. / Let me ask . . . did you see any of them use drugs, or, their parents use drugs? / Mom, I'm not getting someone put in jail so I can stay on. It's over. / We'll you're...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Yo, Tinkle, we oughta be cold ditchin' Miss Jackson's class and go throw some phat rocks at cars. / No, Hugo!! / Miss Jackson already thinks I am a bad person . . . If I did that she would think I'm HITLER! / Awww . . . / I used to be thinkin' you was cool, dogg. Now I be not sure. / You thought I was...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Listen up, Gothy. To be a real cheerleader, you gotta be able to dance, and I don't mean "floppin' around to goth music." REAL DANCIN'. / YEAH REAL BIG DANCIN' GET YOUR FRIZZEAK ON!!! / Paisley can you dance better than them for real? / I could dance worse but you would need to put snapping turtles...
 
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Tinkle, one must rememba that hittin' a car wid a rock is all in tha timing- / Yeah, like in the Sheriff Pony video game... / In the level where Sheriff Pony drops Chicken McNuggets down to the starving sailors on Planet Island- / Yo doff, here come a car!! Bring it!! / Agh! / OMIGOD!! / Yo Wigu, we...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Wigu Tinkle! Hugo Rodriguez! Why are you two late for my class?! / Sorry Mizz Jackson . . . me an' Wigu be waxin' our skills for tha talent show, word. / Well, I think the rest of the class would love to hear your progress! / Wigu, do you know any 'Notorious B.I.G.' songs? / N . . . no!! / Just follow...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Did I . . . Did I just pee my pants in front of the whole class? / That would seem to be the casae . . . it looks like time is frozen, too. / Wigu, does every human involuntarily urinate when confronted with fear?! / No, just me. / Is your urine composed of a powerful acid or poison? / No. / Well,...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Topato, I just peed my pants in front of the whole class!! Please help me! / Alas, I can perform no miracle here. / But you're from another dimension! Can't you reverse time or something? / REVERSE TIME?! Would you ask me to juggle gamma rays?! / There exist stern universal constants which cannot be...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Topato, there has to be something you can do to stop me from being humiliated for peeing my pants in front of the calss!! / Hmm . . . / Deepest sympathies, warrior. You must fight this battle alone. / I understand . . . I am ready for shame . . . / HaHAAHAhaLOL / HA / HaHaHoHeeHAROFL / Ha / HaHA!HaHEE / heeHAHoHoHa / What?...
 
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET WIGU, GO GET THE SCHOOL NURSE! HURRY!! / Oh, I can't believe Huga had a seizure, but at least nobody saw me pee my pants! I hope the nurse has some spare pants!! / Nurse, a kid in my class is having a seizure, also do you keep spare pants here?! / I think I have your size . . . you look like a -- / HUSKY....
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET DREAD, I'm late for Mr. Pick's class curse ye, wretched time . . . / Paisley, what are doing, girl? / Mariah! What are you doing? I thought you were a vagrant! / I'm chillin'. / Paisley . . . ever since you became a cheerleader, you changed. I don't know how to talk to you these days. / I'm a bad friend. / Uh,...
WIGU: CHEERLEADERS ON ICE SHALLOW BROOK HOSPITAL... / OMIGOD WHAT HAPPENED? / Did you know when a car hits a tree it's loud? / But the pep rally is today! We gotta get some practicin' done!! / They're totally not gonna let us out in time for the pep rally. Paisley Tinkle is now the entire cheerleading squad. / OMIGOD / Mariah,...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Paisley, if you think I'm gonna be onthe cheerleading squad for even a second, you're crazy. / But Mariah! / Even if you could find a way to convert the souls of those I despise into sweet, sweet candy, I wouldn't do it. / Look . . . maybe you'll change your mind after you read the script. / INT --...
WIGU: Danzig GOD, I cannot believe I agreed to be a cheerleader with you, Paisley. Can I back out? / No way, Mariah! / You signed the agreement in blood, remember? / I, Mariah Danzig, do solemly swear that I will join Paisley Tinkle in Cheerleading in this Pep Rally today, else shall I suffer an eternity of complacent,...
 
WIGU: HEY JEFF DID YOU USE ENOUGH WORDS IN THIS ONE Come on Marcel!! My cheer routine requires three cheerleaders! You have to help! / No way, Paisley. / I get enough grief for being an artsy, effeminite outcast... add "male cheerleader" to that and I'm ruined... / Melanie Nguyen will never go out with me. / But Marcel, this is an anti-cheerleading tour...
WIGU: The Lady Who Hates Romy ...So I say to the manager, "look crapface, if you don't replace these earrings, I'm gonna 'accidentally' drive through the plate glass window." / GOD, SHUT UP / Oh, I didn't tell you that my daughter is a cheerleader now! / Romy - / I heard the whole cheerleading squad got in a car wreck this morning....
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Romy, do you have those - / MY DAUGHTER MAY BE DEAD, YOU CRAP!! / Yes? / PAISLEY, ARE YOU OKAY?! I heard all the cheerleaders were in a CAR WRECK! / No, that was all the other cheerleaders. I'm building a new squad, out of darkness and chaos. We will crush school spirit. / Well, do you have a sore throat,...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET How's your girl, Romy? She all right? / What? Oh, that was a misunderstanding. Hey, I'm pretty busy here, Chris... / Actually, I'd like to have a few words if I may... / If it's about that picnic thing I can explain... / Romy, I was going over some reports on internet usage... / How do websites...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Nurse, is Hugo gonna be all right? / This young man is going to be fine! He just got a little bit too excited! / Yo, my Pops say that sometime my raps be comin' in too fast, and that is why I be havin' seizures. / Just too damn hype. / Wigu... I think you may have put on some girls' pants... / Did I...
 
WIGU: HAPPY SINGLE PEOPLE GET TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT DAY Nurse, what am I gonna do? These pants are the only pants that fit! / If you want to call your mom to bring some new pants, you may. / Mom's too busy. / But not my dad! He'll do it! / Heck, once my dad said, "Wigu if you are ever down at that nurse's office again, be sure to call me, no matter what...
WIGU: THIS COMIC IS FUNNIER IF YOUR DAD WEARS AN 8 BALL JACKET RR-ing-ing / Uh... hello? / Mr. Tinkle, this is Nurse Andrea down at AOL/Time-Warner Elementary... hi. / Your son had a boo-boo. Could you bring him a new pair of pants? / Quincy, you look like an old salisbury steak that got whupped. Wore-out. / That little nurse is a pretty classy gal... I bet she'd...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET AW, CRAP. / I forgot my van got stolen. / I gotta get these spare pants to my boy! I guess it is only two miles to that school... / And I'm sure these studly legs can still take me a mile in four minutes. / Aw, yeah! This is a better idea, anyway! Fresh air does a man right!! / 16 MINUTES LATER / AW,...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Maybe that little nurse won't mind that I'm all wet and sweaty! / After all a man's pheremones are what really wins over a gal... I always heard that a musky scent is more attractive to a gal's inner abinal than a Ferrari! / Mr. Tinkle! Thank you for coming so quickly with Wigu's dry pants!! / ...hi...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Oh, Mr. Tinkle!! What has happened to your face?! You look hurt! / Aw, it ain't nothin' nurse / I think I have some ointment to help the swelling- / A SMALL SQUADRON OF TEEN VANDALS DID ENCROACH UPON MY STEAD! / They posed a threat to my son.... valiantly did I battle wave upon wave of belligerent...
 

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