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WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Sheriff Pony, I had no idea you were such a "party animal"!! / We like to do things that are fun!! / I've been wondering what this note says that is taped to you! / ... the reason we're dumb is because we deleted a world-line... PLS help us...
WIGU: The Princess Really Likes Topato. A lot. Topato, when I look up at the twinkly night sky, I just feel all awesome inside. / It is pretty cool. / Tell me, Topato! What is it like to have no memory of the past!! / Well, Princess, it is okay. I mean, I'm sure some cool stuff happened or whatever, but I really can't "miss" stuff that doesn't exist in my brain. / But, it's like, cool, you know? Because now I get a chance to make all new memories!! Totally awesome-style memories only about stuff that completely rocks. / I know an awesome thing we could both have memories about...
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Kiss me, Topato, I need to kiss you... / WOAH WOAH WOAH / Princess, that would be awesome but I'm made out of poison!! If you touch me, you'll totally bite it!! / No, Topato! Ever since I first met you 8 days ago, I knew you were the one! That's why I've been taking a tiny amount of your poison every day, to build up an immunity!! / WOAH. / I'm not even totally sure it will work, but I'd rather die than live one more moment knowing I hadn't at least tried. / Hey, anything worth doing is worth maybe dying for. / And stuff.
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET meanwhile / beep beep beep / ugh, what is with that stupid beeping / beep beep / click / ahh, that's better / kingdom under attack
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET King Dongle, the enemy requests an audience with His Majesty. / Patch the miscreants through. / How are you, gentlemen? / It is I, SPACE MUMMY!! / I bring good news and bad news! / Bad news first, vile outlaw / At last I have assembled a team capable of toppling your wretched monarchy! / Meet Space Frankenstein and Space Wolfman / The good news is the same story except from my point of view. / I find this to be good news
 
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET What is it you want, Space Mummy? / Money? / Jewels? / Something intangible that only you would value? / First, I want Topato and Sheriff Pony to meet me at the landing site... / Alone. / The...whereabouts of Topato and Sheriff Pony are currently, ahem... unknown. / You will locate them immediately!!! / Meanwhile... / Hmm... / ZZZ
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Sheriff Pony, wake up. / Something weird is happening to my brain. / UHHH what? / Omigod, Topato! The kingdom is troubled!! / Prepare yourself for a fight!! / 115,881 new msgs / You can go on ahead, friend. / Fighting is wrong. / I am made of love. / What?! / Topato, you used to love to fight!! / Well, now I love. / I love to do that, now.
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET Space Mummy, Topato and I stand before you, but Topato is unwilling to fight!! / Must... love... / Let me put it more directly! / You will fight and stand a chance, or you will fall where you stand!! / Then we will fall! / I would as soon strike a man in anger as leave a woman unsatisfied!! / Aw, crap... / I didn't really plan for this to happen...
WIGU: WWSJD? Something has changed in those two heroes... Think, what would Space Jesus do? / If you refuse to fight, I will DELETE THIS WORLDLINE! I will end this chain of events right now! / So what, Space Mummy?! There are infinite worldlines! We'll still exist in an alternate dimension! / So what?! I hate this dimension anyway, I'm not scared! / So WHAT, then?! Go for it, sissy! What's stopping you?! / BEEP / 27MAR04. MAN WHY DO I ALWAYS GOTTA BE DESTROYING PARALLEL UNIVERSES
WIGU: INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLAN K / PLEASE CLICK THE / "BEGINNING OF STORY" LINK / IN THE SPACE / ABOVE / AND TO THE LEFT. / THA N K / Y OU / JEFFR
 
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET SHALLOW BROOK GENERAL HOSPITAL AND MINIMUM SECURITY INSANEITORIUM / HELLO! Are there any awesome kids in here?! / DAD?! / Yay! / Daddy... I'm really glad you're not in jail. / Well, I found the old boy that hurt Wigu, and I almost throwed him off the dam, but then I changed my mind at the last second!! / How is Wigu doin'?! Is he all right? / He seems okay, but... he's been playing a bar of soap like a video game for about an hour.
WIGU: A Cosmo Conversation FAMILY, WHERE ARE YOU?! / Hm. / Nobody 'round but you an' me, Cosmo. / You know, Romy, I am not going to drink myself. / You're right, Cosmo! How insensitive of me!! / My, it is certainly a lovely day out, isn't it, Cosmo?! / Yeah, a lovely day to sunbather topless. You're getting as pale as that whiny daughter of yours. / When my food talks to me I go see a doctor.
WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET COSMO!! / Sunbathing topless?! / I'm a grown-up lady in a land that despises lady teats!! / Hey, watch it!! / Come on, Romy! / It'll be fun! / There's no one around and it's not like you won't hear somebody drive up!! / Man... that warm breeze would feel pretty good against my bare skin,.. / Romy, everything that's any fun in life is bound to piss off somebody. / Heh, heh. / And we know, I'm no stranger to pissin' people off!! / That's right, baby. / Now, hows about toppin' me off before I get pissed at you.
Wigu: Meanwhile, in the Universe Where the Sky is Red, and Eyes Just Kinda Hang Around You Cosmo, are you sure I should sunbathe topless? / Yes, that's why I keep telling you to. Hurry up and get some quality naked time in before everybody gets back. / I'll trust you on this, Cosmo. But, if I get caught, I'll seriously consider not drinking you for at least a few days. / I'm trembling. / Janitor Darrel, what we are doing is morally reprehensible. We should give this fine lady her privacy. / Hell with that, this is the furthest I ever got with a lady. / Oh dangit this is the wrong worldline
WIGU: Body image blues Panel 1. Quincy and Wigu outdoors / Quincy: Well, I guess your Mom wen off to one of those secret women's meetings. Y'all ready for some swimmin'? / Wigu (raising arms enthusiastically): HECK YEAH! / Paisley's voice (from out of frame): NO. / Panel 2. Paisley standing in one-piece black suit with anarchy symbol / Paisley: Daddy, I'm really uncomfortable with my aswkward, teenage body. can we just not go and yo not make the slightest effort to convince me otherwise? / Panel 3. Quincy looking at Paisley (out of frame); Wigu looking up at Quincy / Quincy: Oh, come on, Paisley. You look fine. Hell, look at your brother! He's a husky little tub of crap but you don't see him all bein' weird! / Wigu: HEY. / Panel 4. Closeup on Paisley, with Quincy's arm reaching into frame offering a "BUSH" t-shirt. / Quincy's voice (from out of frame): Just wear a t-shirt over your bathin' suit, Paisley! Nobody'll notice you're just tryin' to hide something. / Panel 5. Closeup on Wigu / Wigu: Do you even know how hard it is for me to find time to go to the gym? / Tiny text: 04PR04. THOSE DAMN HIPPIES
 
Wigu: Shallow Brook Public Pool & Sewage Treatment Facility SHALLOW BROOK PUBLIC POOL & SEWAGE TREATMENT FACILITY... / Look, kids! This ain't so bad!! There's hardly anybody around! / Uh, yeah, Daddy. Don't you read the news? / The city uses pool water to test the drinking water to see if it makes people die. / Oh, that's just crazy and paranoid. The city don't work like that. / Let's go swimmin'! / MEANWHILE... / Um... how much elephant vomit is considered a "lethal dosage"? / It's lethal? / You don't want to know what it said before it said "elephant vomit"
Wigu: Pools are Just Toilets Come on, Paisley! Hop on in! The water ain't gonna hurt you none!! / Dad, swimming pools are essentially just public toilets! They are designed to hurt people! / SPF CONTAINS LEAD / Suit yourself! / GOD, why can't my family hate each other like everybody else's... / There's a canister of mace in my palm that I emptied and filled with battery acid. / The guy about to do a cannonball... high above the ground
Wigu: Hugo Returns, Drowns Watch out for the edge of the deep part... / Yo! HEADS UP, TINKLE!! / HUGO?! / COWABUNGAZ! / HEY could Hugo get him a little assistance up in here!? I seem to have forgot about my inability to swim! / Hugo, the doctor told me I can't get my head bandages wet!! / Alright, then! Could ya help Hugo out and holler at that pretty lifeguard, then?! / TEE HEE / Soon, a Polaroid of Quincy will adorn the classroom of the local lifeguarding school
Wigu: In Which Hugo is Saved from Drowndin' HUGO BE DROWNDIN'! / There be a light... O LORD have mercy on Hugo! / Hugo! You are not even in the deep part! Just put your feet down! / Yo, I be sorry. Sorry for the scene I made. / It's okay, Hugo! Where have you been?! / Hugo, where is my spaceship, "The Googel Maverick?" What is going on? / Dogg, I got tired of travelin' all around the world. This here be my home. Don't worry, the G-Mav be well hid using massive stealth. / Hugo, you've only been gone half a day! / Wigu, I been gone a day and a half. Today be Sunday. / You ben hittin' the pipe? / Man I wanna go swimmin
Wigu: Timekeeping is for Losers Dad, do you know what day today is? / Son, you know I don't do "days" anymore. / Too many of 'em to keep track of. / But how do you do that? How do you know when to do stuff? / Son, one of these days, you'll figure out that you don't need some made-up time system to tell you when to do stuff. I do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. / My dad's only helpful when somebody's about to get killed-- / Mr. Tinkle, sir, may Hugo follow you around all the time as a sort of disciple? / Hey, that's what I should start... a cult!
 
Wigu: Age Requirements for Cults OK, kids. It's time to go home. We got us a cult to get started! / Dad, you can't start a cult!! That's crazy! Cults are for crazy people!! / Paisley, I used to believe that, too. But my lil' buddy Hugo here has taught me how to live the American Dream. / DAD! Can... can I be in the cult? / Wigu... you know the rule. No cults 'til you're eleven. / Dad, how come I had to wait 'til I was 13 to join a cult?
WIGU: Them temple bells are breaking up my posse Panel 1. Paisley's room. Wigu facing away from Paisley as she fixes her hair in mirror. / Wigu: Man, Paisley, I'm all mad about Dad being friends with my friend, Hugo. / Paisley: Aw, get used to it, Wigu. I don't even bring my friends around because of Dad. / Panel 2. Closeup on Wigu / Wigu: Wait... I thought your friends didn't come over because the police said they couldn't. / Panel 3. Paisley, Wigu's back in background / Paisley: Well, yeah... there's that, also. / Panel 4. Closeup on Wigu, fist raised in determination / Wigu: Well, the madness will end here. We must stop Dad and hugo from being friends. / Panel 5. Quincy and Hugo / Panel title: DOWN IN THE KITCHEN... / Quincy (writing on a mostly scribbled piece of paper): All right, Hugo. What's the #1 goal of this cult we're starting? / Hugo: Straight up, cash money, baby. / Quincy: Good man. / Tiny text:13APR04. I DON'T HAVE HARDLY ANY FRIENDS BECAUSE OF THE DANG POLICE
WIGU: Brainstorming the suicide UFO's Panel 1. Quincy and Hugo in kitchen. Tinkle refrigerator is decorated with a bar graph, a line graph, and a pie chart. / Quincy (pointing the index finger of quick thinking): All right, Hugo. Think fast! What kind of cult are we gonna start up? / Hugo: Suicide cult! / Panel 2. Closeup on Quincy / Quincy: No, no... That's a little too negative, and I'm not sure how many folks are cool with suicide. / Panel 3. Closeup on Hugo, seated a table with Ace of diamonds(?), wad of gum or something(?), and fork. / Hugo: Hm... / Hugo: What about like a UFO cult? / Panel 4. Closeup on Quincy facing away from Hugo, who is looking on expectantly in background / Quincy: Yeah... a UFO cult! That sounds pretty cool! / Panel 5. Closeup on Quincy / Quincy: Okay, but we have to make sure people don't think it's a suicide cult. / Tiny text: 14APR03. PEOPLE WORRY TOO MUCH.
WIGU: UFO repo man Panel 1. Quincy and Hugo in kitchen / Quincy: Hugo, there's not a thing I can find wrong with starting a UFO cult. But, don't we need an actual UFO? / Panel 2. Closeup on Hugo / Hugo: Yo, Mister Tinkle, we have already got us a UFO. / Panel 3. Hugo leading Quincy through a wooded area / Quincy: Are we there yet? The chiggers in my shorts are industrializin'. / Hugo: Patience, Sir. Massive stealth needs a forest to stash. / Panel 4. Hugo beside Googel Maverick / Hugo: Mr. Tinkle, I present to you the G-Mav. / Panel 5. Quincy and Hugo / Quincy (looking suspicious): Hey... that looks a lot like the spaceship that Wigu won from that magical orb of light yesterday. / Hugo: The title is now in Hugo's name. / Hugo: Hugo be a notary public. / Tiny Text: 15APR04. TOMORROW - EWOKS
WIGU: Cult marketing 101 Panel 1. Quincy and Hugo beside highway. Quincy is wearing black tie and mauve trousers and carries a carny cane. Hugo has a white fez, white sweathirt, and mauve trousers. Fez and t-shirt are marked red eye logo. / Sandwich board by highway: SEE THE U.F.O. JOIN THE FELLOWSHIP OF ETERNAL... / Quincy: All right! Phase one is complete. Now we sit back and watch the cash roll in. / Hugo: Mr. Tinkle, forgive my candor but I do not think nobody never joined a cult 'cuz of two dudes standin' by the road. / Panel 2. Quincy / Quincy: Well, Hugo, tell me what you'd do with all your wisdom about startin' up cults. / Panel 3. Hugo (arms folded) / Hugo: Well, uh yo, Huog methods all hella involve a supa fresh amount of professionalism. / Panel 4. Quincy (arms out in exasperation) / Quincy: Well, what do we do? get an infomercial? Mask it as a multi-level pyramid scheme? / Panel 5. Hugo pointing at sandwich board, now shown fully / Sandwich board: SEE THE U.F.O. JOIN THE FELLOWSHIP OF ETERNAL BOO-YEAH. / Hugo: Dogg, the FELLOWSHIP OF ETERNAL BOO-YEAH does not even got any fliers. / Tiny text: 16APR04. DANG WOULD YOU JOIN A CULT TO GO SEE A UFO? YOU PROBABLY WOULD, YOU SCOUNDREL
 
WIGU: Watch your toner voice Panel 1. Quincy struggling with printer / Quincy: DANG IT! Why do they even call it a printer when printing is not what it does? / Panel 2. Hugo looking over Quincy's shoulder / Hugo: Yo, Mr. Tinkle, it believe it be out of toner. / Quincy: What the hell it toner? / Panel 3. Hugo givin Quincy the techie sneer / Hugo: Dogg, how you gonna start a cult when you don't even know what toner is? / Quincy: Quiet you. BABY, WHERE'S ALL THE TONERS? / Panel 4. Romy sitting with Cosmopolitan cocktail / Romy: WE GOT A NEW PRINTER AT THE OFFICE SO WE HAVE TO GO BUY OUR OWN TONER NOW! / Panel 5. Quincy looking apologetically to Hugo / Quincy: Looks like our dream of starting a cult is over, Hugo. / Quincy (voice-breaking balloon): Score one more for technology. / Panel 5. Paisley looking raptly at a piece of paper, in front of wall covered with internet pix of Bill Murray. No dialogue / Tiny text: 19APR04. PAISLEY HAS THIS WEIRD DEAL ABOUT BILL MURRAY
WIGU: Grass roots recruiting Panel 1. Wigu's room. Topato-themed toys and nightlight, "SPRING INTO ACTION" poster partially visible. Wigu is playing on game console. / Hugo (entering door): Hey, Wigu... What up, doggy? / Game console effect: PAUSE / Wigu (annoyed): Nothing, Hugo. Why do you even care? / Panel 2. Closeup on Hugo / Hugo: What, yo all sore about Hugo befriendin' your Dad? 'Cause I ain't down with that dude; He is straight up bad news. / Panel 3. Wigu pointing accusing finger at Hugo / Wigu: Do you think you can just come up here and call My Dad a jerk and make it be okay? / Hugo: LISTEN, dude. / Panel 4. Hugo and Wigu / Hugo: I once believed in the dream of starting a weird cult with your Dad, but... I believe a cult be for the children. / Wigu: I wanna join! / Hugo: Dogg, you be the vice-president. / Tiny text: FOUR TWENTY 04. THIS IS APPROXIMATELY HOW GOVERNMENT ACTUALLY WORKS
WIGU: Samurai Paisley Panel 1. Paisley's room. Paisley faces forward over keyboard, chin in hand. Behind her, a fly is flying across the room. No dialogue. / Panel 2. Closeup on Paisley's finger on mouse, half of Paisley's face in background / Mouse: CLICK / No dialogue. / Panel 3. Closeup on fly hovering near Paisley's hair. No dialogue. / Panel 4. Wide shot of fly approaching Paisley from left, Paisley's face in closeup watching fly, bookcase and samurai sword on wall in background. No dialogue. / Panel 5. Paisley leaping for sword. No dialogue. / Panel 6. Closeup on Paisley's face, looking over blade of sword. / Panel 7. Paisley in wide-legged stance holding sword out with both hands. Is that a half-fly going out the door? Behind her is Del the Funky Homosapien's "Both Sides Of The Brain poster, but with image replaced--perhaps it's Bill Murray drinking saki or tea in front of a Japanese print. No dialogue. / Panel 8. Closeup on Paisley's face, looking disillusioned. / Paisley: So... empty... / Tiny text: 21APR04. I THINK I HAVE SEEN KILL BILL TOO MANY TIMES
WIGU: Richer than Jesus Panel 1. Wigu following Hugo through the woods. / Wigu: Hugo, why is the Google Maverick hid in the woods? / Hugo: When your ride has just outrun a bunch of fighter jets, you you want to make sure you hide the ride. / Panel 2. Wigu and Hugo at the Googel Maverick / Wigu: I was beginning to think I'd never see her again. / Panel 3. Hugo and Wigu talking in front of Maverick / Hugo: Yeah, dogg! And we are gonna charge kids cash money to ride in it! / Wigu: We'll become richer than Jesus!! / Panel 4: Maverick taking off / Hugo's voice (from inside Maverick): You, I hate to be contrary to whateva they be tellin' you at your church, but Jesus Christ was never among the wealthy. / Wigu's voice (from inside Maverick): He wasn't? / Hugo's voice (from inside Maverick): No. / Panel 5: Wigu and Hugo in Maverick's cockpit / Wigu: Will be richer than P. Diddy? / Hugo: When Diddy call askin' if he can come to your birthday party, we'll make a movie of us tellin' him no and makin' fun of him. / Tiny text: 22APR04. CHILDREN SHOULD BE RIDING AROUND IN SPACE SHIPS AND NOT HEARD
WIGU: They're gonna hit a church if they keep that up Panel 1. Wigu and Hugo in Googel Maverick cockpit / Wigu: Hugo, I don't understand why we're going to charge kids to ride in the Googel Maverick. / Hugo: Little kids got a lot of money and don't nobody believe 'em. / Panel 2. Maverick flying fast over a house. No dialogue. / Panel 3. Maverick racing at street level / Wigu's voice (from inside Maverick): Hugo, maybe you should slow down a little bit-- / Hugo: Relax, dogg. The G-Mav fly itself. / Panel 4. Wigu and Hugo in cockpit / Wigu: HUGO! You almost hit that bus!! / Hugo: Wigu, please cut the yellin' cuz Hugo just about hit a lady and a baby stroller. / Panel 5. Maverick taking a steep climb. Man walking below has toupee blown off in the backwash. No dialogue. / Tiny text: 23ARP04. IT SHOULD BE NOTED THAT THE STROLLER WAS ACTUALLY FULL OF ALUMINUM CANS
 

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