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| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | OH NO! If the Catchphrase Killer sees my "Magical Adventures in Space" bed spread, I'm toast! / Paisley, if the Catch-phrase Killer sees my bed spread he will cook my goose!
/ Just close your blinds. Good night, Wigu. / The Killer might have a hidden X-10 camera in my room...I have to act fast... / Good-bye, favorite sheets. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020215.html |
| WIGU: A FALSE ALARM | WIGU WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! / All of my sheets have catch-phrases on them, so I have to burn them so the catch-phrase killer won't get me. / The news just said they accidentally reported the catch-phrase killer story from three months ago by mistake. / He's still wetting the bed?
/ I'll call a counselor tomorrow.
/ Silly news people! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020216.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Oh, man! I just remembered I have a drawing to do for art class!! / I want to draw a cow but I forgot what a cow looks like! / Let's see... I'll do an internet search for "farm animal pics"...
/ YOU MUST BE AT LEAST 18 / AAAGH!!!
/ Wigu!!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020219.html |
| WIGU: In which Wigu searches for a picture of a cow. | [[There is an explodingdog poster on the wall]]
/ Wigu: Oh, man! I just remembered I have a drawing to do for art class!! / Wigu: I want to draw a cow but I forgot what a cow looks like! / [[Wigu is at the computer]]
/ Wigu: Let's see... I'll do an internet search for "farm animal pics"...
/ Computer: _YOU MUST BE AT LEAST 18_ / [[Romy enters]]
/ Wigu: AAAGH!!!
/ Romy: WIGU!!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020219.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Wigu, what were you looking at on the internet?
/ Mom, what was that boy-lady doing with that horse? / Wigu, how did you find that web site? / Mom, I was looking for pictures of cows so I could draw good cow for art class. / WHAT IS WRONG WITH INTERNET PEOPLE?? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020220.html |
| WIGU: Internet people | Romy: Wigu, _what_ were you look at on the intenet?
/ Wigu: Mom, what was that boy-lady doing with that horse? / Romy: Wigu, _how_ did you find that web site? / Wigu: Mom, I was looking for pictures of cows so I could draw a good cow for art class. / Wigu & Romy: WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH INTERNET PEOPLE?? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020220.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Wigu, it's time for you to go to bed.
/ But, mom... / If I don't finish this drawing, I'll get an "F" in art class! / Okay, you have exactly 30 minutes to finish. Then it's bed-time, little man! / If Michelangelo had had my mom, the people that ran the Sisting Chapel would have given him an "F". http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020221.html |
| WIGU: The Monkey Represents Sharing | Wigu, hurry and finish your drawing, it's bed time!
/ I can not work with these impossible deadlines! / Chop, chop, Wigu. Time's up.
/ You are killing my creativity, Mom! / Calm down, Cranky! Let's see what you've got so far!
/ It's horrible poop, Mom. / Wigu, this is a lovely... cow being milked by a monkey...
/ The monkey represents sharing. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020222.html |
| WIGU: The monkey represents sharing. | Romy: [[from outside]] Wigu, hurry and finish your drawing, it's bed time!
/ Wigu: [[thinking]] I can not work with these impossible deadlines! / Romy: [[entering]] Chop, chop, Wigu. Time's up.
/ Wigu: You are killing my creativity, mom! / Romy: Calm down, cranky! Let's see what you've got so far!
/ Wigu: It's horrible poop, mom. / Romy: Wigu, this is a lovely... cow being milked by a monkey...
/ Wigu: The monkey represents sharing. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020222.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Wigu, it's way past your bed-time. Get to be right now, little man.
/ Duh, I was just going there... / Mom, you aren't mad at me for burning my sheets, are you?
/ No, Wigu. Let me tuck you in. / Mom, what am I? Like, what race of people are we? / Well, I'm half-Jewish, one fourth Korean, and one fourth Italian... Your father is half French, one fourth Cherokee, and one fourth African-American. / MAN... Hitler would HATE us... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020223.html |
| WIGU: Existentialism | PANEL 1:
/ Wigu (thinking): Man...why is it that I only start thinking about how big the universe is right before sleep-time? / PANEL 2:
/ Wigu (thinking): What if people just made up God for it to be easier to think about dying? / PANEL 3:
/ Wigu (thinking): Think about happy things, Wigu. The new "Magical Adventures in Space" video game comes out tomorrow. / PANEL 4:
/ Wigu (thinking): I hope I don't die tomorrow. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020224.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | IN A HOUSE BEYOND THE SUBURBS, A LITTLE BOY SLEEPS... / What is this place? / Wigu!!! We have awaited your arrival!!!
/ Sheriff Pony!! / Do I spy a strong, handsome warrior before me. Sheriff Pony?!?
/ And then some!!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020227.html |
| WIGU: Action is Hot | (In Wigu's Dream)
/ Topato: Wigu, I understand you excel at fighting video games!
/ Wigu: I'm okay...
/ Topato: Modesty is a quality item, but it will not win a FIGHT!!!
/ Wigu: I AM THE BEST!
/ Topato: EXCELLENT. We are now prepared to defeat our most competitive foe - in BUTTER DIMENSION³ !!!
/ Wigu: Why do we need to defeat a foe in another dimension?
/ Topato: We SPRING INTO ACTION where action is HOT. No matter what. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020228.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | PANEL 1 / TOPATO: Are you prepared for a SUPER-FIGHT?!! Our mystery foe is hot on the evil prowl!!!
/ WIGU: SPRING INTO ACTION!!! / PANEL 2 / TOPATO: Wigu, a true warriror invents his own battle cry!!!
/ WIGU: I'm sorry, Topato. / PANEL 3 / GIANT VAMPIRE HITLER: RARR!!!
/ WIGU: HELP!
/ SHERIFF PONY: Our mystery foe is Giant Vampire HITLER!!! RUN for your life!!!
/ TOPATO: RUN!!! / PANEL 4 / WIGU: AAH!! / PANEL 5 / WIGU: (thinking) Topato... how could you?.. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020301.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | WIGU, WAKE UP!! / I didn't sleep so good, Mom.
/ Wigu, when's the last time you took a bath? / Uh... / What smells like dinosaur crap?
/ Your brother wants people to think we're vagrants.
/ I stink. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020302.html |
| WIGU: Febreeze | Paisley, I'm running late. Will you spray some "Febreeze" on your stinky brother for me?
/ Oh... kay... / Paisley, can I have one more tasty "Pop Ups" pastry?
/ NO WAY, Wigu. / Obesity is a huge problem in our country. It kills more people than cigarettes.
/ One pastry won't obese me, Paisley. / Congradulations. You're so stinky an entire bottle of "Febreze" won't make it better.
/ It's my POWER. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020305.html |
| WIGU: Odor Powers | (In the Tinkle's house)
/ Paisley: Wigu, there's no way you're going to school smelling like that... To the bath!
/ Wigu: But PAISLEY!
/ Wigu: What if my odor is my super power?! Topato is made of poison so his foes don't eat him... my stink might be my power!
/ Paisley: Wigu. Shower. Now.
/ Wigu: Evil-doer.
/ Paisley: And wash your hair with the special "Dad shampoo." http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020306.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | WIGU ARE YOU FINISHED WASHING YET?!
/ ALMOST / Paisley, we missed the bus! Are we gonna skip school again?
/ I have a plan... / Dad doesn't wake up until one or two, so I'm going to take his van and return it at lunch. / But, you don't have a driver's license yet, Paisley!
/ I'm a NIHILIST. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020307.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Paisley, stealing Dad's van is so wrong, it has to be right!
/ Buckle up, Wigu. / Paisley, what's it like to be so reckless and carefree?
/ It's called "teen angst". You'll live to hate it one day, too. / AND IS A DOUBLE DECKER BUSS... CRASHES INTO US...
/ Paisley, this song is dumb, this singer is whiney.
/ WIGU! / QUIT SCREWING WITH THE RADIO WIGU!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020308.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Panel 1
/ Wigu: COME ON, Paisley, let's listen to some cool music!
/ Paisley: Wigu, you don't know what cool is yet.
/ Panel 2
/ The van Wigu and Paisley are in hits a horse.
/ Panel 3
/ Wigu and Paisley look out the window at the horse.
/ Panel 4
/ Wigu: Paisley, this is God's way of talling us that you should let me control the radio.
/ Paisley: Shut up. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020311.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Paisley, is the pony gonna die?
/ I'm checking.
/ POKE / Paisley, don't take a nap on it, help it!
/ I'm listening for its breath, Wigu. / PAISLEY WE HAVE TO GIVE THE PONY C.P.R!
/ YOU can give the pony CPR, Wigu. / But, don't dead things have germs on them? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020312.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | PAISLEY, DAD'S VAN SEEMS TO BE DAMAGE-FREE! / I am so sorry, gentle horse... I didn't mean to take your innocent life... / OW MY NECK!
/ IT'S ALIVE! / I could sue you for EVERYTHING... unless..
/ Unless what?!
/ How much money you got? / Pony, I have $50 but I was going to but a new video game -
/ Oh, I guess you'd rather play it in white trash kid's JAIL. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020313.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | I can't believe that STUPID horse took the money for my new VIDEO GAME!
/ Relax, Wigu. It's just a video game. / Paisley, it's the new "Magical Adventures in SPACE" video game. It's the only reason I have been alive my whole life. / Perhaps they'll learn you about a more sensible value system at school. Bye, Wigu.
/ Have fun at school, Paisley. / If "fun" means "bouts of severe anxiety interrupted by wild paranoia," then you're on, brother. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020314.html |
| WIGU: Meeting Betty Lou Thelma Liz | (At school)
/ Ms. Jackson: Hello, Young man. Are you late for my class?
/ Wigu: Uhh... I don't know.
/ Ms. Jackson: Let's see... what's your name?
/ Wigu: ...Wigu Tinkle, ma'am...
/ Ms. Jackson: Hello, Wigu! I'm your new teacher, Ms. Jackson! Have a seat and we'll begin... AGAIN.
/ Stupidetta: Yowuh wast name means "going to pee-pee."
/ Wigu: You have a horrible speech impediment. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020315.html |
| WIGU: Omigod | Good afternoon, Paisley. I'm just giddy that you've decided to join our class, today.
/ I ran over a horse, Mr. Pick. / Please take a seat now and please try not to be too dreadfully bored as I teach ya'll how to make a tofu quiche. / OMIGOD, did you seriously run over a horse?
/ OMIGOD, did you seriously ride to school in the 70s? / OMIGOD. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020318.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Now before we start... Wigu, do you have a note for being absent yesterday? / I wish I did, Ms. Jackson... but my mom, see... she don't read or write so good... / My dad can't do too much since the war... I've already had more schoolin' than anybody in my family. / It says here, your mom is a stock-broker, and you have a 15-year-old sister in high school. / That's what the MAN wants you to believe, Ms. Jackson. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020319.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Wigu, seriously, I need a note for your absence, or I need to call your parents. / Ms. Jackson, I can't tell you because I was doing secret C.I.A. activity. I have to keep all of my missions very top secret. / Wigu, while Disney might be interested in your story, I am not. Tell me the truth. Seriously. / I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson! I am for real!! / Principal's Office -> http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020320.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Agent Wigu... Your mission is to find out what they put in the cafeteria food that makes everyone so stupid.
/ CAN DO! / LASER / AH-HA / BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ CLIK! / TORTURE ME ALL YOU WANT, I'LL NEVER TELL WHERE I WAS YESTERDAY!!!!
/ Wigu, your Dad told me you were sick yesterday. He wants to say "hello." http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020321.html |
| WIGU: Adequate Tofu | Class, I can't stress this enough. Having an adequate tofu is crucial in making a fabulous tofu quiche / Ok, I'm on hands-free now. OMIGOD he said what? Whatever he didn't even know the words to the new "Jay-Z" song. / AHEM, Paisley, can you tell us what the most critical element is? / Sorry Mr. Pick. I couldn't hear you over Captain Idiot here giving instructions to Dork Command.
/ That's it, gothy! You just made my internet diary. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020322.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | RRRRRIIIINNG
/ Okay class, try not to forget about the quiz tomorrow about vaccuum cleaner attachments. CIAO. / Hm... high school makes me pretty miserable, but feels like I still have room to be much sadder... / Paisley, what's up? You look almost... CONTENT...
/ http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020325.html |
| WIGU: Angst-faking Paisley-style | http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020326.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | You think I should be a cheerleader, Mariah?
/ Only if you're really serious about self-loathing. / Wow... If I became a cheerleader I would hate... EVERYTHING. / It would be an intense disgust. The absolute APEX of teen angst.
/ It would be a supernova of pure misery. / Plus, think about how much you'll hate yourself if you don't make the cut.
/ I can't lose. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020327.html |
| WIGU: The saddest cheerleader | Hi, I'd like to apply to be a cheerleader, please.
/ Umm... are you sure? / Yeah, I have all this school spirit and I love organized sports and hollering.
/ But, aren't you, like... goth? / What? Just because I'm sad and wear black and read and spend too much time online, I can't lead cheers?
/ Hang on... / For Pete's sake, make her a cheerleader! We don't need an incident, here. / Uhhhh http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020328.html |
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