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| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Hugo, what's going on? I can't see a thing!
/ Yo, there be bounty hunters up in here tryin' to take yo' moms. Here, take my pimp cane. / Hoof!
/ Man, Bullet Toe and Jawz be some crippled-ass super heroes. / Daddy, wake up! There's a a ninja bounty hunter in the house trying to kill Mom!
/ Bounty hunters? We don't need their scum. / Uh, you need any help, baby?
/ Nah, I got this one under control.
/ This one what? / This comic is the end result of of five sheets of paper over nine hours. It is 19 hours late and it is the worst one I have ever done and I am completely sick of looking at it http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051202.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Hugo, what's going on?
/ I can't see a thing!
/ Yo, there be bounty hunters up in here tryin' to take yo' moms.
/ Here, take my pimp cane. / Man, Bullet Toe and Jawz be some crippled-ass super heroes.
/ Hoof! / Daddy, wake up!
/ There's a ninja bounty hunter in the house trying to kill Mom!
/ Bounty hunters?
/ We don't need their scum. / Uh, you need any help, baby?
/ Nah, I got this one under control.
/ This one what? / THIS COMIC IS THE END RESULT OF FIVE SHEETS OF PAPER OVER NINE HOURS. IT IS 19 HOURS LATE AND IT IS THE WORST ONE I HAVE EVER DONE AND I AM COMPLETELY SICK OF LOOKING AT IT http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051202.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Priscill ain't checked in in about five minutes... I wonder if she's all right...
/ Screw this, we're gonna get shot or something. / Besides, we're on the side of law sort of. And the front door's open. I'm gonna take a peek inside. / Hello? / POP http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051205.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Priscilla ain't checked in in bout five minutes... I wonder if she's all right...
/ Screw this, we're gonna get shot or something. / Besides, we're on the side of the law sort of. And the front door's open. I'm gonna take a peek inside. / Hello? / POP! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051205.html |
| WIGU: THE BUCKET COMES OFF | Did you honestly think that you could come to my house and take my wife back to jail without your mother gettin' a phone call that will make her cry?
/ Hey man, I'm just doing my job... / Take one step closer and I swear to God I'll take this bucket off.
/ Good. I'd hate to scrape my knuckles on it. / Listen, mate, you do not want this man to take his bucket off.
/ You're next, fancy boy. / Wh-wh-WAAAAH!
/ ... / [medusa man makes carrot top look like harvey birdman] http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051208.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Did you onestly think you could come to my house and take my wife back to jail without your mother gettin' a phone call that will make her cry?
/ Hey man, I'm just doing my job... / Take one step closer and I swear to God I'll take this bucket off.
/ Good. I'd hate to scrape my knuckes on it. / Listen, mate, you do not want this man to take his bucket off.
/ You're next, fancy boy. / Wh- wh- WAAAAH! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051208.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Topato, I pray we are not too late to save Wigu Tinkle.
/ If we are 10 minutes late we will simply locate a parallel universe where everything happens 10 minutes later. / Topato, you need to stop solving your problems by circumventing the essence of reality.
/ Do you fancy yourself the master of reality? / Indeed I do not! We both know the penalty for masquerading as the Master of Reality!
/ Silence. Spring into stealth action. / GASP! A vision of unimaginable horror!! / Topato!
/ Did you put the bucket back on yet, mate?
/ Yes. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051211.html |
| WIGU: TOPATO VS MEDUSA | Topato, I pray we are not too late to save Wigu Tinkle.
/ If we are 10 minutes late we will simply locate a parallel universe where everything happens 10 minutes later. / Topato, you need to stop solving your problems by circumventing the essence of reality.
/ Do you fancy yourself the master of reality? / Indeed I do not! We both know the penalty for masquerading as the Master of Reality!
/ Silence. Spring into stealth action. / GASP! A vision of unimaginable horror! / Topato!
/ Did you put the bucket back on yet, mate?
/ Yes. / [THIS COMIC HAPPENS AT THE EXACT SAME TIME AS THE COMIC THAT CAME BEFORE IT] http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051212.html |
| WIGU: Not the masters of reality | {{Wigu: Not the masters of reality}} / [[Panel 1. Sheriff Pony and Topato in space]]
/ Sheriff Pony: Topato, I pray we are not too late to save Wigu Tinkle.
/ Topato: If we are 10 minutes late we will simply licate a parallel universe where everything happens 10 minutes minutes later. / [[Panel 2. Wide aerial view of Wigu house. Sheriff Pony and Topato are seen as blue and yellow meteors approaching the house. A red car is on the road away from the house, possibly the bounty hunters' car we saw in 20051121 and 20051128.]]
/ Sheriff Pony: Topato, you need to stop solving your problems by circumventing the essence of reality.
/ Topato: Do you fancy yourself the master of reality? / [[Panel 3. Sheriff Pony and Topato climbing out of a crater formed by their abrupt arrival. In the background, around the corner of the house, we see Medusa Man with his bucket off and Lionel looking away.]]
/ Sheriff Pony: Indeed I do not! We both know the penalty for masquerading as the Master of Reality!
/ Topato: Silence. Spring into stealth action. / [[Panel 4. Topato emerges from around the corner of the house. Sheriff Pony is watching from behind.]]
/ Topato: GASP!
/ Topato: A vision of unimaginable horror!! / [[Panel 5. Topato on ground by corner of house, Sheriff Pony looking on. In foreground, Lionel looking away as Medusa Man replaces the bucket.]]
/ Sheriff Pony: Topato!
/ Lionel: Did you put the bucket back on yet, mate?
/ Medusa Man: Yes. / {{Tiny text: This comic happens at the exact same time as the comic that came before it.}} http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051212.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Screw it, let's just grab the woman and get the money.
/ Yeah, Okay. / Wigu, pack your things we're going over to your uncle's tonight.
/ Mom, I've gone blind and I have short term amnesia!
/ Pack your things. / GASP
/ There she is! Just take yer bucket off, mate!
/ You sure?
/ Do it! / Holy &%$# that guy is ugly. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051213.html |
| WIGU: THE BOUNTY HUNTER SAGA or SCUM THAT WE DO NOT NEED. | Screw it, let's just grab the woman and get the money.
/ Yeah, okay. / Wigu, pack your things, we're going over to your uncle's tonight.
/ Mom, I've gone blind and I have short-term amnesia!
/ Pack your things. / Gasp!
/ There she is! Just take yer bucket off, mate!
/ You sure?
/ Do it! / Holy (expletive deleted) that guy is ugly. / Wigu will put three DVD's, a toothbrush, and three dirty pairs of underwear in a plastic target bag. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051213.html |
| Bullet Toe and Jawz are about to fight two grown men | Oh, God, I need to throw up. - Romy / It didn't work, mate! She's still standing up! - Rastafarian
/ She has to be drunk or somethin'! Extremely drunk women are the only ones who find me remotely attractive! - Bucket Head / Leave my home, scuzzy Bounty Hunters, lest ye face the wrath of Jawz. - Wigu /
/ ...Aaaand Tha Bullet Toe! - Hugo
/ That's right. We can't forget The Bullet Toe. - Wigu http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051214.html |
| Wigu: The unbearable remoteness of attraction | {{Title: Wigu: The unbearable remoteness of attraction}} / [[Panel 1. Romy is nauseated. Medusa man is seen from behind in foreground, raising his bucket.]]
/ Romy: [[Speaking with the green speech balloon of nausea]] Oh, God, I need to throw up. / [[Panel 2. Lionel and rebucketed Medusa Man in foyer of Wigu house]]
/ Lionel: It didn't work, mate! She's still standin' up!
/ Medusa Man: She has to be drunk or somethin'! Extremely drunk women are the only ones who find me remotely attractive! / [[Panel 3. Blind Wigu, seen from vantage of Lionel and Medusa Man, pointing finger of command.]]
/ Wigu: Leave my home, scuzzy Bounty Hunters, lest ye face the wrath of Jawz. / [[Panel 4. Lionel and Medusa Man looking down at Wigu. No dialogue.]] / [[Panel 5. Hugo, in background, kicks his bandaged toe in the air behind Wigu.]]
/ Hugo: ... Aaaand Tha Bullet Toe!
/ Wigu: That's right. We can't forget The Bullet Toe. / {{Tiny text: BULLET TOE AND JAWZ ARE ABOUT TO FIGHT TWO GROWN MEN}} http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051214.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Yo, Tha Bullet Toe got shot wit' a magical bullet in his toe exactly one year ago tonight an' now he got a gun for a foot!
/ And Jaws is blind so he has extra-sensory clairvoyance! / Medusa Man, take off you bucket and I'll grab the woman.
/ But, Lionel... they're just kids! / Well the, you grab the woman and I'll set these children on fire with my mind.
/ I do not touck peope who are vomiting. It's weird. / Ok, Wigu, you bite that dude's foot an' I'll go grab yo' dad's gat.
/ Show me where the foot is. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051215.html |
| Wigu: A power so great it can only be used on non-vomiting adults! | {{Title: Wigu: A power so great it can only be used on non-vomiting adults!}} / [[Panel 1. Hugo pointing to his toe, Wigu gesturing at his head.]]
/ Hugo: Yo, Tha Bullet Toe got shot wit' a magical bullet in his toe exactly one year ago tonight an' now he got a gun for a foot!
/ Wigu: And Jawz is blind so he has extra-sensory clairvoyance! / [[Panel 2. Lionel and Medusa Man]]
/ Lionel: Medusa Man, take off your bucket and I'll go grab the woman.
/ Medusa Man: But, Lionel... they're just kids! / [[Panel 3. Lionel spreads his arms in exasperation; Medusa man crosses his arms in adamance]]
/ Lionel: Well then, you grab the woman and I'll set these children on fire with my mind.
/ Medusa Man: I do not touch people who are vomiting. It's weird. / [[Panel 4. Hugo kneels, whispering in Wigu's ear.]]
/ Hugo: Ok, Wigu, you bite that dude's foot an' I'll go grab yo' dad's gat.
/ Wigu: Show me where the foot is. / {{Tiny text: THE COWBOY'S POWER WAS THAT HE WAS PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF BEING DRUNK}} http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051215.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | You've made a huge mistake, villian. No you must feel the bite of Jawz! / Ha ha HA HA ha ha!
/ This ain't funny! Get this little bastard offa me!
/ Grr! / Back up off him, Jawz. I always wanted to pop a cap in a man all because of movies and video games. / Hugo, please do not have a gun...
/ They in our house! We can do whatever we want to 'em, right? / No, hugo, I don't think that's really true...
/ BLAM! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051216.html |
| Wigu: Bites shoots and heaves | {{Title: Wigu: Bites shoots and heaves}} / [[Panel 1. Closeup on Wigu]]
/ Wigu: You've made a huge mistake, villian[sic]. Now you must feel the bite of Jawz! / [[Panel 2. Medusa Man down, with Wigu drawing blood from his ankle. Lionel seen in background from chest down]]
/ Lionel: Ha ha HA HA ha ha!
/ Medusa Man: This ain't funny! Get this little bastard offa me!
/ Wigu: Grr! / [[Panel 3. Hugo, holding pistol in sideways grip like in the movies]]
/ Hugo: Back up off him, Jawz. I always wanted to pop a cap in a man all because of movies and video games. / [[Panel 4. Lionel backing off, Wigu pleading, Medusa man lying back against the wall. Hugo is partially seen in foreground from behind, pointing gun at Medusa Man.]]
/ Wigu: Hugo, please do not have a gun...
/ Hugo: They in our house! We can do whatever we want to 'em, right? / [[Panel 5. Closeup on Wigu]]
/ Wigu: No, Hugo, I don't think that's really true... / [[Panel 6. Medusa man's face seen in bucket. Don't look! Don't look! It's ruining my eyes! How do you get vomit out of a keyboard? No dialogue.]] / [[Panel 7. Wigu, looking horrified. No dialogue.]]
/ < http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051216.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Wigu: I can't see, I'm blind! What happened, did somebody get shot?
/ Rastafarian: Go, mate, go!
/ Medusa Man: HOLY S*** HOLY S*** / Romy: Wigu... oh, God... Wigu, get your things we have to leave now. / Romy: You all ready to go, Wigu?
/ Wigu: Yeah, Mom. But where did Hugo go?
/ Romy: He... uh, he got scared and ran away. / Ghost Hugo: Yo, I always be wit' you my friend!
/ Wigu: Hugo?! My Mom just said you ran away!
/ Ghost Hugo: Nope, I accidentally shot myself and died. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051219.html |
| WIGU: Hugo is a ghost!!! | Wigu: I can't see, I'm blind! What happened, did somebody get shot?
/ Lionel:Go, mate, go!
/ Medusa Man: Holy Holy / Romy: Wigu... oh God... Wigu, get your things we have to leave now. / Romy: You all ready to go, Wigu?
/ Wigu: Yeah, Mom. But where did Hugo go?
/ Romy: He... uh, he got scared and ran away. / Ghost Hugo: Yo, I always be wit' you my friend!
/ Wigu: Hugo?! My Mom just said you ran away!
/ Ghost Hugo: Nope, I accidentally shot myself and died. / Tiny text: AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T LEAVE GUNS OUT WHERE KIDS CAN GET THEM http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051219.html |
| WIGU: Initiate Plan Alpha | Paisley: Oh god, I can't believe this is my life, I can't believe this is happening.
/ Romy: Get it together, Paisley. I have initiated PLAN Z. / Romy: Quincy, get it together. I have initiated PLAN Z.
/ Quincy: Oh, Baby I was NOT ready to hear THAT. / Quincy: You kids hang out in the car for a bit. Your Mom and I need to flush some things.
/ Paisley: Dad, the cars have all been destroyed.
/ Wigu: Yeah, we're out of cars. / Quincy: Wigu, can you fetch that little space buggy of yours and point it at Canada?
/ Quincy: Plan Alpha.
/ Wigu: Dad, I'm BLIND. I -- oh, wait, I can see again. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051220.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | [[House Interior]]
/ Paisley: Oh God, I can't believe this is my life, I can't believe this is happening.
/ Romy: Get it together, Paisley. I have initiated Plan Z. / [[Outside]]
/ Romy: Quincy, get it together. I have initiated Plan Z.
/ Quincy: Oh, Baby I was not ready to hear that. / [[Driveway]]
/ Quincy: You kids hang out in the car for a bit, your Mom and I need to flush some things.
/ Paisley: Dad, the cars have all been destroyed.
/ Wigu: Yeah, we're out of cars. / Quincy: Wigu, can you fetch that little space buggy of yours and point it at Canada?
/ Quincy: Plan Alpha.
/ Wigu: Dad, I'm blind, I-- oh, wait, I can see again. / {{below: PLAN X HAD TO DO WITH RE-ANIMATED DINOSAURS}} http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051220.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Baby, don't take this the wrong way but I don't remember exactly what Plan Z is.
/ You made it up, Quincy. Are you getting senile already? / Baby, I don't think I wrote this.
/ It ain't even my handwritin'. / But it's a good plan. Don't you think?
/ It's a damn good plan. I just wish I knew who wrote it. / THE PAST!
/ ...the man can't even operate a dishwasher... what's your name again?
/ Titor. John Titor. Take this; you'll know when to use it. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051221.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Mission Control, Sheriff Pony here. I cannot revive the injured Topato. Requesting permission to abort mission.
/ You must first Spring Into Action, Sheriff. / All right, all right. I will Spring Into Action. / Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Something very bad has happened here, Mission Control. / What am I signing, your Majesty?
/ It states that the death of the child was unavoidable by your actions.
/ But-
/ Do not speak. Only sign. / Topato is an excellent attorney http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051222.html |
| WIGU: Ground Control to Sheriff Pony | Sheriff Pony: Mission Control, Sheriff Pony here. I cannot revive the injured Topato. Requesting permission to abort mission.
/ Radio: You must first Spring Into Action, Sheriff. / [[Sheriff Pony approaches a window]]
/ Sheriff Pony: All right, all right. I will Spring Into Action. / [[Inside the house. A body lies on the floor, splattered with blood]]
/ Sheriff Pony: Oh my goodnes. Oh my goodness. Something very bad has happened here, Mission Control. / [[Topato is conscious, lying on a table. Sheriff Pony is about to sign a document]]
/ Narrator: SOME TIME PASSES
/ Sheriff Pony: what am I signing, Your Majesty?
/ Princess Dongle: It states that the death of the child was unavoidable by your actions.
/ Sheriff Pony: But--
/ Topato: Do not speak. Only sign. / {{caption text: Topato is an excellent attorney}} http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051222.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | [[Wigu and Paisley in the Googel Maverick]]
/ Wigu: What do you think Mom and Dad are doing in there?
/ Paisley: In my experience it's best to not even think about that question. / Wigu: I don't know how Mom and Dad think they're gonna fit inside the Googel Maverick too.
/ Paisley: Maybe if you didn't need to have 11 TVs in here... / Wigu: God dang it Paisley don't make me feel dumb because I like to watch TV.
/ Paisley: Excuse me for not wanting my brother to become a mindless, jingoist sheep. / [[Quincy (with gun and gasoline) and Romy (with suitcase) exiting their flaming house]]
/ Quincy: Are you kids fighting? Why are you two always fighting?
/ Romy: Where do they get that from, Quincy?
/ Quincy: Probably TV. / {{below: BEFORE TELEVISION WAS INVENTED NOBODY EVERY DID ANYTHING BAD}} http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051223.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | [[Inside the Googel Maverick]]
/ Wigu: What do you think Mom and Dad are doing in there?
/ Paisley: In my experience it's best to not even think about that question. / Wigu: I don't know how Mom and Dad think they're gonna fit inside the Googel Maverick too.
/ Paisley: Maybe if you didn't need to have 11 TVs in here... / Wigu: God dang it Paisley don't make me feel dumb because I like to watch TV.
/ Paisley: Excuse me for not wanting my brother to become a selfish, jingoist sheep. / [[Quincy and Romy leave the house after setting it on fire]]
/ Quincy: Are you kids fighting? Why are you two always fighting?
/ Romy: Where do they get that from, Quincy?
/ Quincy: Probably TV. / {{caption text: Before television was invented nobody did anything bad}} http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051223.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Wigu: Dad, are you burning down the house? What about our magic 'fridge?
/ Quincy: Son, I don't think it's a good idea to have a magical 'fridge. / [[Outside the house next to the Googel Maverick]]
/ Quincy: I sat down last night and ate pork chops for two straight hours and it felt like my heart was pumpin' toothpaste.
/ Wigu: Dad, you know there's no way we can all fit in the Googel Maverick. / Quincy: Well, what about your buddy's little space buggy?
/ Wigu: Our vehicles are designed so that only the inventor can operate it. And Hugo's missing. / Quincy: Missing? More like missing most of his head! Hugo's dead, didn't you see?
/ Wigu: No I was temporarily blinded.
/ Quincy: Oh, man it was gross. / {{Jeff's Note: QUINCY TRIED TO BE A COP ONE TIME BUT HE WAS REALLY BAD AT TELLING FAMILIES ABOUT THEIR LOVED ONES DYING}} http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051226.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Hugo... Hugo is... dead?
/ I'm sorry, Wigu. We were trying to hide it from you. / Well, let's all just try to...
/ Wigu! Yo! Come in Wigu! Copy! / Hugo's not dead! He's talkin' to me!
/ Oh no, he's in shock.
/ Hey, listen up. / I ain't exactly dead, see. I got some problems, tho.
/ You sound OK! Where are you, over? / I'm lookin' right at you. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051227.html |
| Wigu: Suge Knight Rider | [[Inside Wigu's Googel Maverick]]
/ Hugo, are you telling me you are the Hugotti Diablo?
/ Yeah, I think so.
/ Wigu, the fire department's coming. / Wigu, are you talkin to that friend of yours who's soul is now in that spaceship? Ask him if he can fly Romy and me to the Canada Border.
/ Hugo, did you hear him? Can you do this mission? / Yeah but I ain't flyin' no dudes. The Hugotti Diablo strictly transports hoez. / [[The Hugotti Diablo, with Romy and Paisley aboard]]
/ Almost instantly...
/ Well, at least this one's more comfortable. You can scootch the seat back. / {{caption text: You become a little more blunt when you are an unstoppable spaceship}} http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051228.html |
| Wigu 20051228 | Wigu: Hugo, are you telling me you ARE the Hugotti Diablo?
/ Hugo: Yeah I think so.
/ Quincy: Wigu, the fire department's coming. / Quincy: Wigu, are you talkin to that friend of yours who's soul is now in that spaceship? Ask him if he can fly Romy and me to the Canada Border.
/ Wigu: Yeah but I ain't flyin' no dudes. The Hugotti Diablo strictly transports hoez. / [[Caption: Almost instantly...]]
/ [[Romy and Paisley sit in Hugotti Diablo]]
/ Paisley: Well, at least this ones' more comfortable. You can scootch the seat back. / {{Bottom caption: You become a little more blunt when you are an unstoppable spaceship}} http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051228.html |
| WIGU: A UFO | Wigu, look out! / Whoa!
/ Thanks, Dad! / Shallow Brook Center, we just saw a--
/ Don't do it Dick! Do you wanna get fired?!
/ --the prettiest angel!
/ Aww. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051229.html |
| WIGU: Chapter Eight Finale | Mom? Are you still mad at me? / Paisley, we're riding in a spaceship that's possessed by the soul of a dead boy. How could I possibly remember why I'm mad at you?
/ It's just so weird how things have turned out these past few days. / Paisley, sometimes you just have to take comfort in the fact that you aren't in jail. As long as you aren't in jail, things aren't going all that bad. / Try to get some sleep, honey ... / ... I think it's gonna get a lot weirder. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20051230.html |
| Missile Crisis Cover | Wigu: The case of the missle crisis! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20060401.html |
| Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 02, 2006 | Narrator: Mayhem Mountain Nuclear Missile Silo - Decommissioned -
/ [[The Google Maverick and Hugotti Diablo have landed beside a missile solo, seemingly in the middle of nowhere]] / [[Quincy and Romy standing outside]]
/ Quincy: Well it took all night but we finally found my brother Andre's secret hideout.
/ Romy: I'm kind of glad to get out of town for a while. / Romy: What does your brother do again? / Quincy: I'm not real sure. Every time he starts to tell me about it the phone cuts off and the 'lectric goes out.
/ [[Paisley stares, wide-eyed, out of the frame while Romy and Quincy walk toward the hideout entrance. The entrance is marked with the symbol for radiation.]] / {{title text: a}} http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20060402.html |
| Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 03, 2006 | [[Paisley and Wigu in front of a chain-link fence (separating them from empty desert)]]
/ Paisley: C'mon, Wigu! We have to go meet Dad's brother who's somehow weirder than Dad.
/ Wigu: I have to make sure Hugo's OK! / [[Wigu in front of the Hugotti Diablo]]
/ Wigu: Are you gonna be OK, Hugo?
/ Hugo/Hugotti Diablo: 'Course I'm gunna be OK! I'm a vehicle now. We get use to bein' left alone. / [[Close-up of Wigu bounding toward the silo entrance, tongue sticking out of his mouth]]
/ < http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20060403.html |
| Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 04, 2006 | [[Quincy's hand pushing a button marked USH (presumably PUSH)]] / < http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20060404.html |
| Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 05, 2006 | [[Andre walking up stairs toward the silo EXIT, fastening his pants.]] / [[Andre peeks out of the, now-open, silo entrance, with his hands behind his back.]]
/ Andre: Are you actually my brother 'cos I'm armed. / [[Andre and Quincy]]
/ Andre: It is you!
/ Quincy: Like looking at a ugly mirror. / [[Andre, with his hand on his chin and his eyebrows raised.]] / [[Andre, grabbing Paisley's shoulders and speaking directly to her while Romy glares back at him.]]
/ Andre: Look at you, Romy. You look like Jackie O got Marilyn Monroe pregnant and she drank the whole time she was pregnant.
/ Romy: Andre.
/ Romy: I'm Romy. / Andre: ... and also freebased cocaine. / [[Quincy and Romy glaring at Andre, with bared teeth.]]
/ Quincy: Andre, are you hittin' on my wife?
/ Andre: Nah, it's just been about five years since I seen an actual woman. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20060405.html |
| Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 06, 2006 | [[Andre leading Quincy down a corridor.]]
/ Quincy: So, what have you been doing out here in the middle of nowhere?
/ Andre: Lemme tell you, brother, I'm into some real exciting stuff. / [[Andre leading Quincy, Paisley, and Wigu, presumably the whole family, into a darkened room.]]
/ Andre: I'm about two steps away from proving there's life on Mars! / [[The lights are now on. Andre stands with his arms outstretched. Romy is covering her eyes.]]
/ Andre: The information's been surppressed for years by the government... well, the Illuminati.
/ Quincy: You know about the Illuminati?
/ Romy: Oh, God. / [[Andre leading Quincy down another corridor.]]
/ Andre: Why do you think I live in a missile silo in the middle of nowhere?
/ Quincy: Hm. / [[Romy and Paisley, looking concerned, and looking to each other.]] http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20060406.html |
| Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 07, 2006 | [[Andre and Quincy in another room.]]
/ Andre: Can I get you guys something to drink? I got some of that "New Coke."
/ Quincy: Andre, I'm not gonna joke around. We're in trouble. / [[Wigu stands, eyes wide open, eyebrows raised, smiling, and tongue sticking out, in front of a rat that is almost half his size.]] / [[Andre has pulled a box marked "JFK FILES" onto a counter. Quincy and Romy stand by, Romy with her arms crossed.]]
/ Romy: We've got the entire world after us for one reason or another - bounty hunters, Interpol, everybody.
/ Andre: Welcome to the club, Sis-in-Law. Some people get really made when you find out who really shot JFK. / [[Romy stands behind Quincy with her hand on his shoulder. Both look shocked and a bit scared.]]
/ Quincy: So, who... no, don't tell me. Andre, can me and my family stay here for a few days... you know, 'til the head dies down? / [[Andre is sniffing a pair of panties embroidered with the name "Jackie O".]]
/ Andre: Sure, stay as long as you want. Come tomorrow, I'll be gone anyways.
/ < http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20060407.html |
| Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 08, 2006 | [[Andre walks on, while Quincy and Romy look to each other, looking nervous.]]
/ Andre: And now that I feel like I can trust you guys, I wanna show you what I've really been workin' on. / [[Andre stands in front of a huge rocket beneath the silo opening. The rocket has a window in the capsule and an American flag painted on the side.]]
/ Andre: My fellow Tinkles, meet AMWAY, the multi-stage rocket that I'm flying to Mars tomorrow! / [[Quincy looking up. Andre glaring at Quincy.]]
/ Quincy: That has got to be illegal to own.
/ Andre: Not accordin' to the Second Amendment it's not. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20060408.html |
| Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 08, 2006 | [[In the missile silo, at the base of the rocket. Wigu stands with his arms stretched out and looking up with his eyes wide open.]]
/ Wigu: Great flying turds! / [[Quincy is a little angry and pointing down at Wigu. Andre is unphased.]]
/ Quincy: Wigu, watch your mouth! We don't know if your uncle is okay with us cussin'!
/ Andre: Kids. / Wigu: Are you gonna start a war with that, Mr. Uncle?
/ Andre: That's Dr. Uncle. And now, my plan is to fly it to Mars and prove there's life there. / Wigu: Ah. Yeah, I got a spaceship too but it sucks at going into space.
/ Paisley: He's actually not making that up. / Andre: What's the problem? Fuel? Re-entry? Oxygen? Bureaucracy?
/ Wigu: I just don't know hardly nothin' about space I guess. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20060409.html |
| Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 10, 2006 | [[Andre, Quincy, and Romy, standing around in the missile silo.]]
/ Andre: You guys hungry? I'm starvin'.
/ Quincy: Well actually we--
/ Romy: Yes, we're about to die. / [[Andre walking down a corridor. Romy looking scared.]]
/ Andre: Now I don't cook inside because it's extremely dangerous. / [[Andre is reaching into a food cooling unit. Paisley stands by while Romy and Quincy head to the exit.]]
/ Andre: You guys go on up.
/ Andre: I'll be up in a minute. / [[Wigu and Paisley, still looking stunned.]]
/ Wigu: Paisley, when's the last time I went to the bathroom?
/ Paisley: How am I supposed to remember when you used the bathroom when I can't remember when I last used the bathroom? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20060410.html |
| Wigu - Case of the Missile Crisis - April 11, 2006 | [[Wigu looking up Andre, still hunkered down in the bunker. Andre points down a dark corridor.]]
/ Wigu: Doctor. Uncle, can we use your bathroom please?
/ Andre: It's down that long corridor. Just don't pee on the floor and watch out for the scorpions. / [[Paisley and Wigu are running down the corridor.]]
/ Paisley: Did he say.... scorpions? / [[Outside the missile silo. Andre is carrying a box labelled "FOOD." Quincy and Romy stand by, in the distance the Google Maverick and Hugotti Diablo are parked.]]
/ Andre: I'm tellin' y'all, this is the life out here, just me and the dirt and the sky. Mailman don't even come out here.
/ Quincy: You seem a lot happier out here! / [[Andre looks offended and angry.]]
/ Andre: What the hell is that supposed to mean? / Quincy: Brother, the last time I saw you, you was in the back of a police[car?] high on dope screamin' about how the Free Masons faked the moon landing.
/ Andre: Well who did fake it? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20060411.html |
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