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| WIGU: Quincy's Van Won't Start | Click Click Click Click
/ Dang van won't start... / Try pumping the gas pedal, Dad.
/ Maybe you should put up the hood.
/ Maybe I should rethink my faith in Germans. / Maybe the van won't start because of FATE!! / Or maybe because the gear is in reverse.
/ If it would have been in park we would have most certainly been in a terrible accident.
/ Daddy, you're crazy. / (it is not a very good comic please come back tomorrow) http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020821.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Do you kids want to play a rapping game? I'll start!!
/ No. / My name is Quincy Tinkle
/ My eyes got the twinkle
/ I might be almost fifty
/ but I'm hardly wrinkled! / My name is Wigu
/ I live in an igloo
/ Ok, not really
/ But I pretend to!! / I don't think rap is
/ artistic expression
/ Hip-hop music brings
/ me depression
/ It's some dude claiming
/ to 'represent,'
/ who can't sing or play an instrument http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020823.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Daddy, school is the other way! Where are we going?
/ It's an um...it's a short-cut to school! / Daddy, we're going in the opposite direction from school. School is right back there by the liquor store, I can still see it.
/ This is no short-cut... / Dad's going to take us to Las Vegas to use us as HUMAN POKER CHIPS!!
/ You're not allowed to watch the news anymore. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020824.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Daddy, please tell us where you're taking us, because it's starting to feel like a freaky kidnapping plot. / Okay, I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to get mad.
/ Okay. / I've entered us in a "BATTLE OF THE FAMILY BANDS" contest! We could win our own reality TV show! / Daddy, why didn't you ask us if we wanted to do this?
/ I was afraid you'd say you didn't want to.
/ We don't want to.
/ I DO! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020827.html |
| Wigu: Paisley Reveals To Quincy That She Can Dance | Dad, how are we gonna win a family music contest when me and Paisley can't play instuments or sing? / I have the song pre-recorded on my laptop! all you two have to do is dance and pretend to play and sing!!
/ Also we can't dance. / I can dance. / Ha ha! Only a family of jerks could beat the Tinkles now!! / (AUGUST 28 199 I MEAN 2002) http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020828.html |
| Wigu: Quincy Wants Paisley and Wigu to Practice Performing | Daddy, where is this music contest anyway? / It's in Austin, Texas! It's the music capital of southeast Texas!
/ Daddy, that's six hours away! / But that's a good thing, see? Because that will give you and Wigu enough time to perfect your performances. / Daddy, I haven't slept in over 24 hours.
/ Wigu, get the "No-Doz" out of my tackle box but don't look in the bottom part. / (AUGUST XXIX MXCVIIXXICVIILKIIIV) http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020829.html |
| Wigu: Going to the Drive-Through Zoo | "NECKS" EXIT / Hey, Kids!! Who wants to go to the DRIVE-THRU ZOO?!
/ MEMEME / Daddy, zoos are just animal prisons. I hate them. / Paisley, it's a drive-through zoo. The animals all walk around freely and you feed them from your car!
/ Oh, breathing SUV fumes is an incredible improvement.
/ MONKEYS! / DARK GODDESS OF CHAOS PLEASE DO NOT LET THERE BE OSTRICHES. / (IT IS AUGUST 30, 2002) http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020830.html |
| WIGU: Ostrich Theft | How do you kids like the drive-through zoo? / That giraffe has six legs. Are lions supposed to have horns?
/ Mother Nature is a craaaazy, sexy, little pussycat!! / Here's some all purpose animal feed!! I'll roll down the windows so we can feed them- / DADDY, NO!!! / WHAT? WHO TOOK MY GLASSES? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020902.html |
| WIGU: A family raised on ostrich lies | THIS IS NOT HAPPENING THIS IS NOT HAPPENING
/ An ostrich stole your glasses, Dad!!
/ I can't see diddly squat without my glasses! / Someone has to get my glasses back from the beast! / The ostrich is a freakish reminder that Satan is alive and well and wants harm to come to us.
/ Ostriches are freaky... / Wigu, if you retreive the spectacles, your father will purchase my new race car set for you!!!
/ I'll do it. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020903.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Wigu, retreiving your father's spectacles from that feathered beastie will require strategy and cunning!!
/ I'm in sneak mode!! / Wigu, your strategy is fundamentally flawed!!! You require a smartly ADEQUATE OFFENSE!! / I'm gonna throw a rock at it, I think.
/ DO NOT RUSH HAPHAZARDLY INTO THIS BATTLE!! Analyze every detail! / bonk http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020904.html |
| WIGU: PAISLEY VERSUS THE OSTRICH | Location: Drive-Thru Zoo. / Wigu: THE OSTRICH IS CHASING ME HELLLP!! HELP ME, TOPATO!! / Topato: I am only a psychological manifestation!! I can only assist by encouraging you to *run faster*!!!
/ Wigu: I'm screwed! / Paisley: OMIGOD, Daddy!! The ostrich is CHASING WIGU AROUND!
/ Quincy: Paisley, I can't see a dang thing! You have to help him!! / Paisley (raising an acoustic guitar behind her head): ENJOY YOUR TRIP BACK TO *HELL*, DEVIL-BIRD!!
/ Wigu: Get him, Paisley!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020905.html |
| WIGU: The Tinkles overcome the ostrich in a battle ripe with symbolism | Pailsley, you knocked that ostrich out cold!!
/ You have just witnessed the awesome power of adrenaline fueled nihilistic rage. / You kids got my glasses back! Once again, ROCK N' ROLL saves the day!! / Now what do you say we shag tail out of this nightmare-factor of a drive-through zoo?
/ Brilliant idea, Daddy. / EXIT / TINK-L http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020906.html |
| WIGU: Food-themed comics | ring ring
/ SCHOOL / Romy Tinkle here.
/ Mrs. Tinkle, this is AOL-Time Warner High school- / For the last time, I didn't order any freakin' candy. / No, Mrs. Tinkle, I'm calling because your daughter Paisley is absent today.
/ I have to put you on hold for a second. / tinklvixen - Instant Message
/ File Edit REPLACE People
/ funkypudding: what are you wearin
/ tinklevixen: oven mitts and chocolate milk
/ War Brak Bad Buddy http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020909.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Let's share a bundt cake, Topato!
/ You fool! / I feel like someone's watching me... / Daddy, I think I saw a monkey hanging onto the back of the van!
/ Is that what's making all the radio stations suck? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020911.html |
| WIGU: Monkey, cats, and drama | Wigu, what's all that racket back there? / DAD!! I TOLD YOU! THERE'S A MONKEY HANGING ON TO THE BACK OF THE VAN!! / No monkey I've ever seen could possibly hold on to a van at this speed... / RAD http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020912.html |
| WIGU: The Monkey That Could Hang On to a Van | Well, I'll be a son of a gun! There was a monkey hanging on to the van!! / Daddy, you have to return that monkey to the drive-through zoo!! / No time! If we return it, we'll surely miss the competition! Wigu, how fast can you teach this monkey to play the banjo?
/ Dad, I can't play a banjo. / Now I know I've seen a banjo-playing monkey before...or was it a dream? Think, Quincy, think! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020913.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Look at the monkey's long, creepy little fingers! Heck, these things were practically designed for banjo pickin'! / Daddy, NO!! If you are thinking about making the monkey play in our band...it it's just wrong on so many levels!
/ ANIMAL CRUELTY! / Paisley, relax! If this monkey joins the band, we are guaranteed to win the competition! I'm gonna make this monkey a STAR!! / Paisley, are you afraid the monkey will steal your thunder?
/ Yeah, I'm afraid of THAT, Wigu. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020916.html |
| WIGU: In search of niche-r help books | Ok, kids, we're almost in DALLAS! Let's look for a bookstore that has books about teaching monkeys to play the banjo. / Monkey, do you got any twos?
/ Dad, I think the monkey is cheating. / WHAT IN THE HECK? Driving in Dallas is like swimming in scrambled eggs! / Daddy, there is probably no such thing as a book about teaching banjo to monkeys.
/ Are you allergic to thinking positive? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020917.html |
| WIGU: Banjo Monkey | Dad, I don't think the monkey wants to play banjo. / That's crazy, nonsense talk, Wigu! Where'd you get that crazy idea? / The monkey told me, Dad! He said he would rather learn to play a steel guitar, didgeridoo, or a pan flute! / Why don't you remind the monkey that 'prima donnas' are not allowed in this band?
/ The monkey would cry but he does not know how to. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020918.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Monkey, what do you want for your birthday?
/ John Coltrane and Ella Fitzgerald records? / RARRGH!! I can't take this insanity for another second! Daddy, drop me off at the bus station!! / Paisley, what's wrong, honey? Do you have motion sickness or something? / I just don't want to be riding in a multi-colored van to a music contest when I can't play music and my brother is having a conversation with a stolen monkey anymore.
/ FRIED PIES!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020919.html |
| WIGU: Tinkle-gothism | Paisley, you can't give up hope yet!! You don't know my full strategy!
/ XXX VIDEOS BEER - AMMO / Daddy, you have a strategy?
/ Yeah! This band is gonna be a success 'cause it'll showcase your unique personalities! / For example, I know you're into all that sad, gloomy gothishness, so I designed your role to draw upon your strengths! / Aww, your makeshift vision almost makes me anticipate impending public humiliation. / You goth kids like sequined leopard-print fuzzy boots, right? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020920.html |
| WIGU: The Monkey Crisis | PANEL 1 / QUINCY: All right, Kids! We'll be in Austin in two hours! I hope you're dreaming about rock n' roll!
/ PAISLEY: ZZZ / PANEL 2 / SHERIFF PONY: Sheriff Pony to Topato!! Come in, Topato!
/ WIGU: ZZZ
/ MONKEY: ZZZ / PANEL 3 / TOPATO: Define this emergency, Sheriff Pony!!
/ SHERIFF PONY: It is Wigu Tinkle, sir!! He appears to be more insteresting in playing with a monkey than our toys!! / PANEL 4 / TOPATO: WIGU TINKLE IS A CRITICAL RESOURCE!! A loss like this could be DEVASTATING. We must spring into MONKEY-ELIMINATING ACTION!!!
/ SHERIFF PONY: Aye, Aye. / SEPTEMBER 23 HUG YOUR BEST FRIEND 2002 http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020921.html |
| WIGU: Monkeys are delicious | Topato!! There is Wigu Tinkle's ground transport!!
/ And a GAILY-COLORED transport it is!!! / We must devise a non-invasive strategy to get Wigu Tinkle to be more interested in us than his new pet monkey! / Non-invasive methods are the methods of cowards! I have already devised a plan so ingenius that it is guaranteed to yield victory! / Primate, Wigu Tinkle intends to betray your trust in the interest of feasting on your charred flesh with gravy. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020924.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Topato, what are you doing?!
/ I am utilizing subversive subliminal messages to alter this monkey's disposition! / Does that really work on earth-primates?
/ Sheriff Pony you must make yourself less visible, lest our sly subterfuge be foiled!! / What's goin' on back there?! Wigu? Are you okay? / EEEK!! EK! EEK!!
/ ABORT MISSION!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020925.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Calm yourself, primate, or I will punch all one billion of your nerve endings in les than one second!!!
/ Eeek! Eek! / Topato! We must flee or else be discovered!!
/ Your luck is astounding, primate. We shall live to settle this, hear me!! / Agh!!
/ Chomp / The ignorant beast had no idea I am made of poison!! Looks as if we will not live to settle this!!
/ GO! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020926.html |
| WIGU: Monkey theft and Monkey death | Wigu, look back there and see what that monkey was hollerin' about!
/ Whu... okay, Dad. / DAD, STOP THE VAN!!! / Poor little guy must have got into my tackle box... you poor, stupid monkey...
/ DADDY, MAKE HIM COME BACK ALIVE! / Uh, you guys might wanna listen to this... / ... authorities say the stolen monkey was last seen in a brightly colored V.W. bus heading southbound... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020927.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Paisley, we've gotta get rid of this dead monkey before the fuzz finds him!!
/ Daddy, may I say a few words about the monkey, please?
/ Knock yourself out. / The mountains weep. Silently they sob. Little monkey lived. Now he is night. Blackness. Hollow. The mountains are infinite. / Little monkeys die. Ancient monkeys die. Every human dies. Mother Earth will die. The universe is dark. It does not hear our plea.
/ I am alone... / Paisley, let me know when you're done. I can't fit the monkey into this plastic bag because he's all hard and stiff. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20020930.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Paisley, it's all my fault the monkey is dead.
/ No it's not, Wigu. It's no one's fault. / YES IT IS! Topato got jealous of the monkey and tried to make the monkey mean! Monkey bit Topato to protect me, but Topato is made out of POISON. That's his POWER. / Who in the what is a Topato?
/ Topato is Wigu's imaginary friend. It's cute, Daddy.
/ TOPATO is real! He smells like salad dressing. / Can Topato dig this shallow grave for me? Even my studly body is no match for this tough Texas dirt. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021001.html |
| WIGU: Law and Order | All right. The monkey is buried. Let's get back on the road and put this crazy nightmare behind us. / DAD, IT'S THE POLICE! / Sir, we're looking for a multi-colored V.W. bus that might be carrying a stolen monkey. You know anything? / N...No SIR!! Ain't seen a single monkey all day matter 'fact.
/ Must be somebody else, then. Sorry to waste your time, sir. / Lennie, Don't you think you should have searched them?
/ I was working monkey kidnappings when you were in diapers. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021002.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Once again the Tinkles are bound for Austin... / BUT IN BUTTER DIMENSION3
/ TOPATO! My heart throbs with SADNESS for little Wigu Tinkle! His beloved pet is dead as a result of our actions!
/ HA! / Be not sad, fair Pony!! For while my poisonous composition is lethal here in Butter Dimension3, on Earth it produces a state of paralysis that resembles death! / MEANWHILE ON EARTH...
/ mmf! / GASP GASP http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021003.html |
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