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| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Hoy hoy
/ Mariah, it's Paisley... I need to ask a favor... / PAISLEY, where were you today? Mr. Pick had the craziest nervous breakdown, and Marcel got into a fight with that fat kid who plays tuba- / I'll tell you the whole story later. Can you give me a ride to cheerleading practice? / Oh Paisley, you know I'd love to help you become the personification of my misanthropy, but my mom and Marty took the car to a meth-legalization rally. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021116.html |
| WIGU: Wigu Watches Opponent Force X! | PANEL 1 / PAISLEY: Wigu, do you have any money, I need to take a cab to cheerleading practice... Wigu?
/ WIGU: WAIT / PANEL 2 / MEGA-MOUSSE: ACTIVATE EXTREME MOLDING MOUSSE SPRAY!!
/ TOPATO: YOUR STYLING DAYS ARE OVER MEGA-MOUSSE!!
/ SHERIFF PONY: MOUSSE... IN... EYES!! / PANEL 3 / WIGU: Now it's commercial time. What was your question, Paisley? / PANEL 4 / PAISLEY: How many times a day does that show come on? / PANEL 5 / WIGU: "Magical Adventures... in Space" comes on 22 times a day. But I was watching "MAIS: OPPONENT FORCE X". It tells you what happened 30 minutes before the original 'MAIS' series. / MAGICAL ADVENTURES IN LAST MINUTE COMIC WRITING http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021117.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Tell me what my husband, Quincy Tinkle, is on right now. / We're not supposed to give that information out, ma'am, but you look irate. Mr. Tinkle hopped on a charter flight about an hour ago. He should arrive any minute. / Can you, like, circle around one more time? I need to see if my wife is down there. / I's s'posed t' have this kidneys on th' ground a hour ago, mister. / You gave me BEER out a cooler with kidneys in it?! / th' kidneys keeps th' beer cold n' fresh! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021120.html |
| WIGU: Romy's rage is quickly calmed | Quincy: *thought bubble* If I can just get out of this airport without my violently angry wife seeing me, I can go stay in that old barn I found for awhile. / Romy: HOW DARE YOU EMBARRASS ME ON NATIONAL TV IN FRONT OF ALL OF OUR FRIENDS AND OUR CHILDREN?!!
/ Quincy: *thought bubble* Curse my massiveness... / Quincy: Relax, baby! We'll get new friends! Who don't watch tv!
/ Romy: Quincy, I never want to see you running around with no shirt - / *FLEX*
/ Romy: - except when you give me a six hour spongebath, let's go. / Tinytext: when i was a kid i found an old barn that had magazines. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021121.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Mister, I'm really sorry, but I don't have enough money for a tip...
/ That's okay! Just lemme see you smile!! / What are you, a sicko? Do you get your kicks by seeing depressed cheerleaders smile?! / I just like to see smiling people... / What's this, girls, we can not make up cheer routines in the dar- / But I see you've given up cheer for decomposing...
/ CLICK http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021122.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Who would have murdered the cheerleading squad? / Sure they're all shallow, vacant people, but they don't deserve to get slaughtered... / OMIGOD, Paisley! Do you like our cheer routine?! / Jordan totally invented it!
/ No one likes us, so I think it would help our approval rating if we pretended to be dead for a while. / But... when they find out we're faking, won't they hate us more...?
/ OMIGOD, CAITLIN IS REALLY DEAD!!
/ I just playin! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021123.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Who would have murdered the cheerleading squad? / sure, they're all awful, shallow, vacant people, but they dont deserve to get slaughtered... / OMIGOD Paisley! Do you like our cheer routine?! / Jordan totally invented it!
/ No one likes us, so I think it would help our approval rating if we pretended to be dead for a while. / But... when they find out we're faking, won't they hate us more...?
/ OMIGOD CAITLIN IS REALLY DEAD!!
/ I just playin! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021123.html |
| WIGU: THEY ALSO GAVE ME THE IDEA TO DO THIS STRIP | Wait, you mean you couldn't get the costumes?
/ All of the costume places close at six, 'cause of that law. / Yo, why don't we just put on a FAST DANCIN' song, and just go all BUCK WILD?
/ Because that is why everyone hates you.
/ Ow. / You all don't understand. I want to do a cheer that will open people's minds to the corruption of society and government... / Mr. Pick totally started crying today 'cause the bank possessed his old car.
/ Heh, we should do a cheer about Mr. Pick being Poor. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021126.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Wh-what was that you said, Jordan?
/ We should do a cheer to make fun of teachers that are poor and crazy. / YES! We're gonna make a cheer routine that will raise awareness about LOW TEACHER SALARIES!!
/ That's dumb, let's just give up.
/ OK. / Paisley... kids don't wanna think about their teachers as "people"... we prefer to think of them as "ogres" or "robots."
/ Or "nannies."
/ Or "only ones who listen"... / WAIT, you guys! If we pretend to be on the teachers' side, they'll totally just give us the BEST GRADES ALL THE TIME!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021127.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Wigu, are you here?
/ Yes, Mom, I'm in here!
/ clik / Wigu, where's your sister?
/ She rode in a taxi-cab to go to cheerleader practice. / Your father and I have to go to a dinner party tonight... will you be okay here by yourself for a couple of hours? / What, Mom? Do you think I'm not "cool" enough for your party?
/ Yes. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021202.html |
| WIGU: Spring Into Performance Fleece! | PANEL 1 / ROMY: You can come to the party if you want, Wigu... but it will be boring. / PANEL 2 / TV: STAY TUNED FOR A FIVE-HOUR 'MAGICAL ADVENTURES IN SPACE' TURBO MARATHON!
/ WIGU: Nevermind, Mom. I don't wanna go. / PANEL 3 / QUINCY: Be brave, Wigu, and don't look in the bottom left hand dresser drawer! / PANEL 4 / SHERIFF PONY: TOPATO, WHY ARE WE GOING TO THE DETERGENT NEBULA GALLERIA?
/ TOPATO: MY HERO'S CAPE HAS BECOME DANGEROUSLY UNFASHIONABLE! / PANEL 5 / TOPATO: OPPONENTS WILL NOW TREMBLE IN FEAR UPON SIGHT OF MY OLD NAVY HALF-ZIP PULLOVER!!
/ SHERIFF PONY: SPRING INTO PERFORMANCE FLEECE!! / OLD NAVY COMMERCIALS ARE ALMOST AS CREEPY AS CLOWNS http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021203.html |
| WIGU: Topato and sheriff pony get harrassed at the mall | Wigu: Oh man.. this is the best episode ever. / Disguised Spummy: Excuse me fellows!! I am a mall security agent, you must come with me.
/ Topato and Sheriff Pony: ! / Topato: I beg your pardon, sir, but all items in our posession have been exchanged for an appropriate measurement of currency! / Disguised Spummy: Good sir, I am simply fulfilling the requirements of my employment. Let us avoid a public disturbance, I implore you. / Sheriff Pony: This is an unexceptable situation, Topato!! Let's SPRING INTO ACTION!
/ Topato: Holster your rage, Pony!! Honor demands we comply with authority, regardless of its ugly mug!! / Tinytext: snoop dog is dippin in the cadillac http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021204.html |
| WIGU: This is no mall security office | Wigu: Here's where it gets really exciting! / Disguised Spummy: Have a seat in the "Security Office".
/ Sheriff Pony: Topato, I feel there is something foul afoot! Trouble is present!!
/ Topato: I agree Sheriff Pony!! The poison within me throbs... / Topato: This is no mall security office!! The walls are made of pepperjack cheese!!
/ Sheriff Pony: Be careful, Topato! You are lactose intolerant! / Disguised Spummy: And I am no mall security officer!!
/ Topato: The dastardly SPACE MUMMY!!
/ No longer disguised Spummy: HA HO!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021205.html |
| Magical Adventures in Space: Cheese floors of DOOM | Get 'em Topato!! ANNIHILATE INJUSTICE!! / Lactose... affecting gastrointestinal functionality... getting too... gassy...
/ Topato! No! We must fight!!
/ Ugly doom awaits!! / Sheriff Pony... It is up to YOU to neutralize this threat...
/ Begin activation sequence of magical digging hooves!! / Topato, the floor is also made of cheese, of a very hard variety!!!
/ OOF http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021206.html |
| WIGU: Lac Ex Machina! | PANEL 1 / SPACE MUMMY: I HAVE COMPLETED THE PERIOD IN WHICH I TOY WITH YOU. NOW PREPARE FOR DISCOMFORT!! / PANEL 2 / TOPATO: SPACE MUMMY, IF YOU DO EMERGE VICTORIOUS FROM THIS CONFLICT, IT WILL BE WITHOUT HONOR, SINCE EXPLOITING MY LACTOSE INTOLERANCE IS HARDLY--
/ SHERIFF PONY: TOPATO, LOOK!! / PANEL 3 / SHERIFF PONY: (off-panel) Silk® brand soy milk!! / PANEL 4 / TOPATO: NOTHING combats lactose intolerance more effectively than a soy-based milk!! / PANEL 5 / WIGU: Is someone up there? If there is, please do no answer, leave, ok? / DEC 9 2002 - SERIOUSLY THAT SOY MILK IS SOME PRETTY GOOD STUFF http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021209.html |
| TO THE PRETENSIONMOBILE! | Mom's cell phone is #3
/ Thud Boof / I am so bored
/ My last soundtrack went to #17 in Bulgaria.
/ I dropped a bunk bed off my roof and sold it to CHER for $5,000. / OH, THANK GOD... / MOM MOM, I THINK THERE IS SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE BURGLING US!!
/ I see... yes...
/ Hold on... / Quincy, it's Michael Jackson, he's crying!
/ To the pretension mobile!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021210.html |
| Wigu: Why don't we have guns? | Wigu, get out of the house right now!!
/ Quick, Romy, give me the keys!! / Quincy, you're riding shotgun, in case you need to jump out and fight!
/ Or if a bad song comes on. / Mom, I'm gonna go hide in the cellar!!
/ STAY OUT OF THE CELLAR! / Wigu, just find a hiding place, we'll be there in two minutes! / Mom, why don't we have guns? I could take care of this myself!!
/ Ask your father about his rubber toes sometime. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021211.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | [[Romy and Quincy running]]
/ Romy: [[to phone]] Wigu, get out of the house right now!!
/ Quincy: Quick, Romy, give me the keys!! / Romy: Quincy, you're riding shotgun, in case you need to jump out and fight!
/ Romy: Or if a bad song comes on. / [[Wigu has just left the house]]
/ Wigu: Mom, I'm gonna go hide in the cellar!!
/ Romy: [[over phone]] STAY OUT OF THE CELLAR! / [[The car flies along the road past a store]]
/ Romy: Wigu, just find a hiding place, we'll be there in two minutes! / [[Wigu runs from the house. A shadowy figure watches him through the blinds.]]
/ Wigu: Mom, why don't we have guns? I could take care of this myself!!
/ Romy: [[over phone]] Ask your farther about his rubber toes, sometime. / Tiny Text: DEC 11 2002 - RUBBER TOES MAKES ME FEEL FINE FLOWING THROUGH THE JASMINE http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021211.html |
| WIGU: Wigu and Punky Brewster, back together again for the first time | OK, Mom... I'm outside, now what?... Mom?
/ bzzs / Wigu...?
/ WIGU, CAN YOU HEAR ME?! / He's too far from the house to hear you on that crappy phone, Romy. DRIVE!! / I'd better hide in the old refrigerator until Mom and Dad get here... / Wait a second... why do I get the feeling I'm not supposed to do that? / OH, NOW I remember...
/ Punky Brewster... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021212.html |
| WIGU: Wigu needs a place to hide. | [[Outside the Tinkle's]]
/ Wigu: Ok Mom.. I'm outside, now what? .. Mom?
/ < http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021212.html |
| WIGU!?! / WHERE'S MY BOY?! / Running...out...of...oxygen... / Getting...drowsy...wait,what's that?! / "TACO PATO" HOT SAUCE PACKS!! / I can live off the trapped oxygen in-side of of these TACO SAUCE PACKS!! | |
| Wigu: No one escapes a refrigerator | I'll see if Wigu is in the old refrigerator!!! / WIGU, ARE YOU OK?! CALL 911!! / D... Dad...? / WIGU, why did you hide in the refrigerator?! Furthermore, why didn't you just push the door open? / I saw on TV that no one can escape a refrigerator... it was a lie that could have cost my life... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021216.html |
| Wigu: Intruders always have affordable insurance | Wigu, I'm glad we got you out of the refrigerator. Now, about those intruders in the house...
/ They're still up there! Listen, Dad!! / Thud Bump Scratch / GET OUT OF MY HOUSE OR DIE!! / Wigu, I want you to remember that the house is technically mine, if anyone asks, hon.
/ OK, Mom. / Whoever's up here had better have a good dentist, affordable insurance, a strong bladder and a stupid lawyer...
/ Bump http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021218.html |
| Wigu: Farewell, Topato | WIGU, GET UP HERE!! / What is it, Dad? Did you already beat up the burglars? / There were no burglars, Wigu. Just a tape with sound effects of things breaking, and a pile of broken toys...
/ You just wanted more toys, didn't you? / NO, DAD! I swear! I heard somebody up in here, that's how come I called you!! / Quincy, all of Wigu's toys are broken, except for these ones with that "Topato" character... / Guess who's never getting another TOPATO toy again?
/ NO!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021219.html |
| WIGU: Is that an alien or is the shower dirty? | Romy: Wigu, normally I am proud of you. But I am ashamed of you for breaking all your toys. Go to bed. / Wigu: But Mom, I swear I didn't - / Romy: What are we gonna do about that boy, Quincy?
/ Quincy: He's a good boy deep down, Romy. / Quincy: But now, I'm gonna take a shower. I'm all grimy and filthy... / Quincy: My filthiness corrupts my studliness. / Quincy: Holy heck is that an alien or is the shower dirty?! / Tinytext: holy heck i have to clean my shower http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021220.html |
| WIGU: The Reality of Topato!? | PANEL 1 / QUINCY: What the heck is that?! Man I wish my eyes were half as studly as the rest of me. / PANEL 2 / TOPATO: UNHAND ME, BI-PED, OR FACE UNSATISFACTORY CONSEQUENCES! / PANEL 3 / QUINCY: GAH! What in the-
/ TOPATO: SILENCE, FATHER TINKLE! / PANEL 4 / TOPATO: I have come to deliver a message regarding your son's fundamental happiness!! / PANEL 5 / QUINCY: Wait... you're that cartoon character from that TV show that Wigu likes... you can't be here in real life-- / PANEL 6 / TOPATO: Your disbelief annoys me, Father Tinkle!! Perhaps a visit to the land of EXCRUCIATING PAIN will convince you! / DEC 23 02 - MAN I WISH THEY REALLY MADE DAD SHAMPOO http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021223.html |
| WIGU: Quincy's Sneak Attack! Topato's Counter Strike! | PANEL 1 / QUINCY: This is crazy... this can't be really happening... / PANEL 2 / TOPATO: I ADVISE YOU TO RISE, father Tinkle. This is not the first time I've been forced to prove my existence with my capable fists. / PANEL 3 / QUINCY: Lemme put in my contacts before this goes any further. / PANEL 4 / TOPATO: I implore you to make haste, sir. / PANEL 5 / QUINCY: UNGH!
/ TOPATO: SHAMEFUL VELOCITY! / PANEL 6 / TOPATO: KNUCKLES HORS D'OEUVRE!! / DEC 24 02 - KEEPING WHISKEY IN THE BATHROOM IS A QUINCY THING http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021224.html |
| Wigu: Delivering a box of pain | QUINCY, is everything okay in there?! It sounds like a BAR BRAWL!! / Yeah, everything's fine... I'll be out in a few minutes...
/ Have you suffered enough, bi-ped? Will you hear my message at this time?
/ Sure. / My television series is in a perilous predicament! Unless sales of merchandise increase, my very universe will CRUMBLE!
/ I'm never going to buy your toys for my son again. / Father Tinkle, would you sign this?
/ Why?
/ I am about to deliver a box of PAIN. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021225.html |
| Wigu: Steak vandals in the shower what what! | Ugh... I'm OK, I'm OK...
/ QUINCY, WHAT HAPPENED?! / Uh... there were vandals hiding in the shower, like nine of 'em... I tried to stop them but they all hit me and jumped out the window... / Dang teen vandals are running around breaking toys all over town. Wigu, tomorrow we're gonna get you some new toys. / DAD, WE HAVE TO STOP THE TEENS FROM VANDALATING MORE TOYS!! / Not tonight. Daddy has to make a sleeping bag out of steak. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021226.html |
| Wigu: Permanent adventure | What a day today was, Mom!!
/ Maybe for you!! For me it was business as usual. / Oh, yeah. Mom, I wish you would have been on the adventure with us!! There were ostriches and costumes and airplane rides and a monkey... poor monkey... / When you get to be my age, Wigu, you will avoid crazy adventures like the plague. Sleep tight, sweetheart. / God, please don't ever let me get as old as Mom...
/ I NEED adventure. Forever. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20021227.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | PANEL 1 / ROMY: (out-of-frame) WIGU, WAKE UP!!
/ WIGU: (thinking) Huh? What on Earth? / PANEL 2 / WIGU: Mom, are you sure it's morningtime? I don't remember falling asleep or anything...
/ ROMY: (brushing her teeth) Rrr Rrm. / PANEL 3 / ROMY: Rrrm.
/ WIGU: Sleeping is dumb and dangerous!! I was vulnerable!!! / PANEL 4 / WIGU: This family's number one priority should be sleeping in shifts.
/ ROMY: We're out of Snaq-Tarts. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030106.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Mom, do you know where is Paisley at, anyway? / Wigu, that was about the most poorly constructed sentence I've ever heard . . . / Mom, do you know where is . . . Do you know at . . . forgotting to talk right!! / Paisley left a message at 4.a.m., saying they were still practicing their cheer routine!! Aren't you proud?! / Mom, I forgotted what it is to be talking good.
/ Please Wigu, I'm trying to be proud here. / JAN 7 03. THREE PENS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS COMIC (BADLY) http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030107.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Come on, Wigu! I'm driving you to school today!!
/ Yay, Mom!! / Mom, I don't get why Dad is always talking about how women can't drive good. I think you're an awesome driver!! / Oh . . . thanks . . . Um, what else does your dad say about women? / Funny stuff!! He says they have devils in them and that boobies are for hiding secrets in!! / Romy to mothership . . . come it mothership . . . we have a mole . . .
/ Keep driving, Romy / JAN 8 03. ANOTHER SOMEBODY DONE SOMEBODY WRONG SONG http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030108.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Come on, Wigu!
/ I'm driving you to school today!!
/ Yay, Mom!! / Mom, I don't get why Dad is always talking about how women can't drive good.
/ I think you're an awesome driver!! / Oh... thanks...
/ Um, what else does your dad say about women? / Funny stuff!!
/ He says they have devils in them and that boobies are for hiding secrets in!! / Romy to mothership... come in mothership... we have a mole...
/ Keep driving, Romy http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030108.html |
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