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| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Mom, I like it when you drive me to school because your car is the coolest mom car that is even battle-damaged!! / Don't get used to it, Wigu. I'm getting it fixed this afternoon. / When I get old enough to drive, I'm gonna have the awesomest car ever made!! / I have a picture of it here somewhere . . . / Mega Sonic Vegetable
/ Solar Sonar Wigu-Mobile
/ 500 MPH (MPG)
/ Googel Maverick
/ robot legs wings
/ Action Jets
/ 2 Storey
/ Soler
/ Silent
/ Fire
/ Eyes for robot
/ Invisible Speed Wings
/ OIL SLICK
/ 2000 Speakers Loud
/ Zoo
/ Tundra Proof
/ ?$
/ Tank Tires
/ Flying
/ Dodgeing
/ Cannon vulcan
/ 200 / JAN 9 03. these are the kinds of drawings da vinci did as a kid http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030109.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Have fun at school today, Wigu! Try not to get sent home today, hon!
/ OK, Mom!! / Yo, Tinkle!
/ ! / Yo, your mom got a phat ride, dogg. I bet yo' family be havin' some bank.
/ My mom works at the bank. / Yo, forgiveness to my manners. I am Hugo Rodriguez, it be a pleasure to meet you.
/ Why do you smell like cigarettes?
/ Proctor and . . . Ele / JAN 10 02. ROMY ACTUALLY WORKS FOR AN INVESTMENT FIRM NOT A BANK http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030110.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | COME ON, GIRLS, we've only got three hours until showtime. / Paisley, I think we're kind of like, getting away from what a cheer routine is usually about . . . and we haven't slept all night . . . / You all disgust me . . . not even willing to sacrifice one night's sleep to create the greatest cheer routine of all time. / Paisley . . . a cheer routine doesn't usually have four intermissions . . .
/ Or bats.
/ Or pyrotechnics. / JAN 13 03. A GOOD CHEER ROUTINE HAS STANDING UP AND YELLING http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030113.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | In light of our rapidly approaching deadline, I'm going to try to dumb down or cheer routine. You all . . . go take a nap or something . . . / OMIGOD guys, I'm starting to think putting Paisley in charge of our squad was a super awful idea.
/ Super duper awful. / I mean, I don't even know what she's talking about most of the time . . .
/ Like, what in the heck is a "ready position?"
/ OMIGOD, guys check it -- / Quick, we need self-tanning lotion and a P. Diddy tape stat.
/ zzz / JAN 14 03. HAHA PUFF DADDY CHANGED HIS NAME WE GET IT JAY LENO http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030114.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | OMIGOD What are we doing? It hurts!
/ We're running to the mall as fast as we totally can.
/ The mall isn't evem open 'till ten. / Really? But I see cars there in the morning.
/ The mall lets old folks come in and walk around in the morning. / Yeah, in the mornin' the mall is like a crazy old-timer mall. It's bizarre.
/ m... mall? / God, old people get to do whatever they want. Like America Would totally crumble if teens were in charge?
/ ... yeah. / TEENS IN TROUBLE. TEENS IN CHARGE. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030115.html |
| WIGU: Goth Squad | OMIGOD, Paisley is gonna kill us when she wakes up...
/ Look, she won't wake up for hours, we'll be ok, Jordan... / Hello, she's GOTH. She has no place being a cheerleader in the first place!
/ Yeah... / She's trying to make us into some stupid "goth squad." It's embarassing and it will make us look even dumber.
/ Ow... where am I...? / Ok, I'll tell her she's off the squad when she wakes up. Now let's get some non-fat, sodium-free organic breakfast bars. / FAT FREE HEART-HEALTHY FREE RANGE CARB-FREE GRAVY BITS http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030116.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Those idiot cheerleaders think Paisley Tinkle isn't good enough for them?? / They say hell has no fury like a woman scorned . . . / Well that fury is a harmless BABY TANTRUM compared to the fury od a scorned NIHILISTIC, DEPRESSED chick . . . / MOMMY THEY'RE KICKING ME OFF THE SQUA-HAWD
/ Mommy's in a meeting, sweetie. / JAN 17 03. NEEDLE IN THE HAAAAY. NEE-DLE IN THE HAAAAAAY. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030117.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | -- kicking you off the cheerleading squad?! Are you sure, Paisley?!
/ Yes, Mom. I overheard them while they thought I was sleeping. / Let me ask . . . did you see any of them use drugs, or, their parents use drugs?
/ Mom, I'm not getting someone put in jail so I can stay on. It's over. / We'll you're still a cheerleader until they officially remove you. Live it up now, 'cause it's all downhill after this --
/ WHAT?! / Mom, you're RIGHT!! I am still a cheerleader!! It's my duty to fill the school full of enthusiasm about organized sports!
/ NOT! / JAN 20, 03. LOOK I AM IN CONNECTICUT -- ENTHUSIASM GALORE http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030120.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Yo, Tinkle, we oughta be cold ditchin' Miss Jackson's class and go throw some phat rocks at cars.
/ No, Hugo!! / Miss Jackson already thinks I am a bad person . . . If I did that she would think I'm HITLER!
/ Awww . . . / I used to be thinkin' you was cool, dogg. Now I be not sure.
/ You thought I was cool? / Yes, but now TOPATO and the whole "Magical Adventures" crew be ashamed of you.
/ YOU like "Magical Adventures in SPACE"? / JAN 21, 03. THIS WAS MY FIRST TIME IN TROUBLE. WHO WEARS PINK PANTS? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030121.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Listen up, Gothy. To be a real cheerleader, you gotta be able to dance, and I don't mean "floppin' around to goth music." REAL DANCIN'. / YEAH REAL BIG DANCIN' GET YOUR FRIZZEAK ON!!! / Paisley can you dance better than them for real?
/ I could dance worse but you would need to put snapping turtles near my feet. And give me shoes made of turtle food. / OK, SCALPATEERETTES, GOTHY IS GONNA SHOW US HER MOVES!!!
/ Do you have music that is made on a computer by white people? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030122.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Tinkle, one must rememba that hittin' a car wid a rock is all in tha timing-
/ Yeah, like in the Sheriff Pony video game... / In the level where Sheriff Pony drops Chicken McNuggets down to the starving sailors on Planet Island- / Yo doff, here come a car!! Bring it!! / Agh!
/ OMIGOD!! / Yo Wigu, we best be gettin' to class now. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030123.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Wigu Tinkle! Hugo Rodriguez! Why are you two late for my class?! / Sorry Mizz Jackson . . . me an' Wigu be waxin' our skills for tha talent show, word. / Well, I think the rest of the class would love to hear your progress! / Wigu, do you know any 'Notorious B.I.G.' songs?
/ N . . . no!!
/ Just follow me, dogg. / Representin'! A tuff lil' sucka named Hugo! Gold rims on my bike, ain't rollin' no Yugo!
/ M . . . my name is . . . OH NOOO!!! / JAN 27 03. I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT BUT I WON'T BE YOUR GLASS FIGURINE http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030127.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Did I . . . Did I just pee my pants in front of the whole class? / That would seem to be the casae . . . it looks like time is frozen, too. / Wigu, does every human involuntarily urinate when confronted with fear?!
/ No, just me. / Is your urine composed of a powerful acid or poison? / No.
/ Well, it seems as though involuntary urination is an INEFFECTIVE DEFENSE MECHANISM!!
/ I know, Topato. / JAN 28 03. CRYING IS THE ULTIMATE USELESS DEFENSE MECHANISM http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030128.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Topato, I just peed my pants in front of the whole class!! Please help me!
/ Alas, I can perform no miracle here. / But you're from another dimension! Can't you reverse time or something?
/ REVERSE TIME?! Would you ask me to juggle gamma rays?! / There exist stern universal constants which cannot be compromised!! For example, in every realm imaginable, cole slaw remains disgusting!!
/ Square root of cole slaw divided by yummy = 9:two half notes ~ disgusting / What would you do if you was me?
/ DESTROY THE WITNESSES!! Chaffing aside, I have no answer; I excrete sour cream!! / JAN 29 03. MAN I HATE ME COME COLE SLAW http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030129.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Topato, there has to be something you can do to stop me from being humiliated for peeing my pants in front of the calss!!
/ Hmm . . . / Deepest sympathies, warrior. You must fight this battle alone.
/ I understand . . . I am ready for shame . . . / HaHAAHAhaLOL
/ HA
/ HaHaHoHeeHAROFL
/ Ha
/ HaHA!HaHEE
/ heeHAHoHoHa / What? I don't even think they're laughing at me! / JAN 30 03. ALL THIS TIME HUGO HAS BEEN HAVING A SEIXURE OMIGOD http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030130.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | WIGU, GO GET THE SCHOOL NURSE! HURRY!! / Oh, I can't believe Huga had a seizure, but at least nobody saw me pee my pants! I hope the nurse has some spare pants!! / Nurse, a kid in my class is having a seizure, also do you keep spare pants here?! / I think I have your size . . . you look like a --
/ HUSKY. I'm a husky boy. / JAN 31 03. I WENT TO THE GAP TO SEE IF THEY HAD HUSKY, WELL GAP.COM http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030131.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | DREAD, I'm late for Mr. Pick's class curse ye, wretched time . . . / Paisley, what are doing, girl?
/ Mariah! What are you doing? I thought you were a vagrant!
/ I'm chillin'. / Paisley . . . ever since you became a cheerleader, you changed. I don't know how to talk to you these days.
/ I'm a bad friend. / Uh, why aren't you in the hospital with the other cheerleaders? Marcel said they all got in a car wreck and crammed lipstick up their noses. / FEB 3 03. I HOPE YOU DID NOT WASTE YOUR GROUNDHOG DAY http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030203.html |
| WIGU: CHEERLEADERS ON ICE | SHALLOW BROOK HOSPITAL...
/ OMIGOD WHAT HAPPENED?
/ Did you know when a car hits a tree it's loud? / But the pep rally is today! We gotta get some practicin' done!! / They're totally not gonna let us out in time for the pep rally. Paisley Tinkle is now the entire cheerleading squad.
/ OMIGOD / Mariah, do you know how to do a "Basic T Motion" or a "Goat Post?"
/ Are you talking about diet pills? / THE MOST BASIC CHEERLEADING MOVE IS THE "CLAP" I PROMISE http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030204.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Paisley, if you think I'm gonna be onthe cheerleading squad for even a second, you're crazy.
/ But Mariah! / Even if you could find a way to convert the souls of those I despise into sweet, sweet candy, I wouldn't do it. / Look . . . maybe you'll change your mind after you read the script. / INT -- GYMNASIUM -- NIGHT
/ Three CHEERLEADERS hang from the gallows above the floor covered in blood. The scarred remains of a SPORT UTILITY VEHIICLE lie in the background.
/ CHEERLEADER 1
/ Hey! We're ashamed
/ We came to relinquish
/ our pathetic sould
/ God of Pathetic
/ l th / Do they have cheerleader outfits in size ninteen? / FEB 5 03. THIS COMIC STRIP IS A TEASER, IT DOES NOT EXIST http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030205.html |
| WIGU: Danzig | GOD, I cannot believe I agreed to be a cheerleader with you, Paisley. Can I back out?
/ No way, Mariah! / You signed the agreement in blood, remember?
/ I, Mariah Danzig, do solemly swear that I will join Paisley Tinkle in Cheerleading in this Pep Rally today, else shall I suffer an eternity of complacent, capitalistc Greed and ideological shallowness. MARiah DAnZig / Now we need to find a way to get Marcel to join. Do you think your uncle Glenn could help us?
/ You know I'm on bad terms with my uncle. / Hey Marcel... wanna be a cheerleader? / YES!! / I mean... No, that's totally gay... / FEB 6 03. OMIGOD THE MISFITS WERE SO MUCH BETTER BACK THEN http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030206.html |
| WIGU: HEY JEFF DID YOU USE ENOUGH WORDS IN THIS ONE | Come on Marcel!! My cheer routine requires three cheerleaders! You have to help!
/ No way, Paisley. / I get enough grief for being an artsy, effeminite outcast... add "male cheerleader" to that and I'm ruined...
/ Melanie Nguyen will never go out with me. / But Marcel, this is an anti-cheerleading tour de force! It lampoons our hypocritical society with nihilistic overtones!
/ Plus, everybody already thinks you're gay. / What's a guy gotta do to prove he's straight 'round here?! / Plus, I made out with Melanie Nguyen last weekend. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030207.html |
| WIGU: The Lady Who Hates Romy | ...So I say to the manager, "look crapface, if you don't replace these earrings, I'm gonna 'accidentally' drive through the plate glass window."
/ GOD, SHUT UP / Oh, I didn't tell you that my daughter is a cheerleader now!
/ Romy - / I heard the whole cheerleading squad got in a car wreck this morning. You might wanna check on your daughter. / Liar. You're just telling a lie because you're jealous.
/ I'd give my sight to watch you suffer one second. / THE LADY WHO HATES ROMY LOVES HER DOG AND WAS ROBBED http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030210.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Romy, do you have those -
/ MY DAUGHTER MAY BE DEAD, YOU CRAP!! / Yes?
/ PAISLEY, ARE YOU OKAY?! I heard all the cheerleaders were in a CAR WRECK! / No, that was all the other cheerleaders. I'm building a new squad, out of darkness and chaos. We will crush school spirit. / Well, do you have a sore throat, or maybe an earache?
/ Nope. Just tired. Why, Mom?
/ I don't want to be here today. / FEB 11 03. WWW.GEOCITIES.COM/RADICALCHEERLEADERS/ http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030211.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | How's your girl, Romy? She all right? / What? Oh, that was a misunderstanding. Hey, I'm pretty busy here, Chris... / Actually, I'd like to have a few words if I may... / If it's about that picnic thing I can explain...
/ Romy, I was going over some reports on internet usage... / How do websites about men dressed as cavemen wrestling in baby food deal with your job?
/ Market... research... for baby food, uh...
/ I know you steal toner. http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030212.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Nurse, is Hugo gonna be all right? / This young man is going to be fine! He just got a little bit too excited!
/ Yo, my Pops say that sometime my raps be comin' in too fast, and that is why I be havin' seizures.
/ Just too damn hype. / Wigu... I think you may have put on some girls' pants...
/ Did I ax you to stop rubbin' on my back, Nurse? / But... these pants fit me perfect! Does this mean I'm a...
/ Fancy boy? http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030213.html |
| WIGU: HAPPY SINGLE PEOPLE GET TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT DAY | Nurse, what am I gonna do? These pants are the only pants that fit! / If you want to call your mom to bring some new pants, you may.
/ Mom's too busy. / But not my dad! He'll do it! / Heck, once my dad said, "Wigu if you are ever down at that nurse's office again, be sure to call me, no matter what time it is!" / Aww! Your dad must love you a whole lot! / He even set up a special phone ring for the nurse's office!! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030214.html |
| WIGU: THIS COMIC IS FUNNIER IF YOUR DAD WEARS AN 8 BALL JACKET | RR-ing-ing / Uh... hello?
/ Mr. Tinkle, this is Nurse Andrea down at AOL/Time-Warner Elementary... hi. / Your son had a boo-boo. Could you bring him a new pair of pants? / Quincy, you look like an old salisbury steak that got whupped. Wore-out. / That little nurse is a pretty classy gal... I bet she'd like it if I showed up in a nice, clean shirt... / Ah, I can't be thinking like this! I'm a married man.
/ ... but not married to that nurse... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030217.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | AW, CRAP.
/ I forgot my van got stolen. / I gotta get these spare pants to my boy! I guess it is only two miles to that school... / And I'm sure these studly legs can still take me a mile in four minutes. / Aw, yeah! This is a better idea, anyway! Fresh air does a man right!! / 16 MINUTES LATER
/ AW, CRAP.
/ I forgot I sweat like a fat old bear when I run... http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030218.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Maybe that little nurse won't mind that I'm all wet and sweaty! / After all a man's pheremones are what really wins over a gal... I always heard that a musky scent is more attractive to a gal's inner abinal than a Ferrari! / Mr. Tinkle! Thank you for coming so quickly with Wigu's dry pants!!
/ ...hi Dad. / But, Mr. Tinkle! These pants are completely soaked in your... bizarrely erotically stimulating sweat!
/ Dad, you stink! http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030219.html |
| WIGU: A COMIC ON THE INTER NET | Oh, Mr. Tinkle!! What has happened to your face?! You look hurt! / Aw, it ain't nothin' nurse / I think I have some ointment to help the swelling- / A SMALL SQUADRON OF TEEN VANDALS DID ENCROACH UPON MY STEAD! / They posed a threat to my son.... valiantly did I battle wave upon wave of belligerent teen, until finally all succumbed to my sheer might! / Dad? / What about my pants? I need some dry pants. / Here's that ointment for your pecs, I mean your firm buttocks http://jjrowland.com/wigu/20030220.html |
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