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#1 Let's go adventuring Trent: Findlay! Come on! I was just over at the Eagle's Liver Inn... / Findlay: Why do they even serve you? I'll never understand how that place keeps its liquor license. / Trent: Uh... Anyway, there was this elven bard, and she was telling stories. / Findlay: That's what bards do, Trent. / Trent: About...
#2 Why didn't you say there was treasure? Trent: The tomb is full of MONSTERS! / Findlay: Not helping your case, Trent. / Trent: Almost everyone who goes in dies! / Findlay: Have you considered a career in the marketing guild? / Trent: Except this one guy who came out with no arms... / Findlay: That's the sort of truth in advertising that...
#3 It's a liability thing Findlay: Let me see if I'm following this... Each of the ancients amassed as much treasure as possible, and then hid it all away inside these various tombs just before the great cataclysm. The ancients went to sleep, and for whaever reason, they never woke back up, so all their stuff is just sitting...
#4 Nailed Down Findlay: But once we're in the guild / Trent: And kill all the monsters / Findlay: Then the treasure is ours for the taking? / Trent: Whatever is not nailed down! / Findlay: And for those things that are nailed down, I know how to use the claw part of a hammer!
#5 Lose so many suitors that way [[A hand knocks on Mitzi's door]] / [[Mitzi opens the door a crack to peek through]] / [[Smitten little mage-boy with flowers smiles at Mitzi]] / [[Mitzi's eye, seen through the crack in the door, turns angry]] / <> [[Mitzi tosses a bomb out the door to land at the feet of the mage-boy]] / <> / Mitzi:...
 
#6 A piece of cloth [[Trent and Findlay stand in a long line of wanna-be adventurers waiting to sign up at the guild. Mitzi is in line behind them.]] / Findlay: Do we have to wait for all thse people ahead of us in line to die before we can go collect my treasure? / Trent: I'm not really sure. The line seems to be moving...
#7 Sponsored by [[Sign: Adventurers' guild. Sign up today! SAAT exams hourly]] / [[Trent, Findlay, and Mitzi get to the head of the line]] / Gate guard: Sponsor? / Trent: Uh... what? / Gate guard: You need a sponsor to be admitted to the guild. Thanks for stopping... / Findlay [[drinking a Pepsiberry cola drink]]:...
#8 Practically Twins [[Solen kissing A Woman, both are naked in bed]] / [[Solen walking down stairs]] Solen: Always makes me so thirsty. / Solen: Jennifer never mentioned she has as sister. / [[Solen looking in on a room with a Scary Anne doll sitting on the chair]] Solen: I could make them a potion that would make them practically...
#9 Oh my god! They kidnapped Mitzi! [[Trent and Findlay walk away from the Adventurers' Guild, irritated and upset at being sent away for not having a sponsor. Mitzi, in a similar mood walks slightly behind them.]] / [[Trent and Findlay glance at, then ignore the strange men waiting at the end of the bridge wearing dark glasses and suits.]] / [[The...
#10 You Bastard! [[Jennifer, having a difficult time covering herself with a blanket, holds Solen at knife point.]] / Jennifer: Stay away from my sister, Solen, or I swear by the ancients I will feed your heart to the dogs! / Solen: You had me with the knife. / Solen: I have a mage's HP. / [[Jennifer chaces Solen naked...
 
#11 Testing her outfit's effect [[Nerith holds up a tiny bit of cloth]] / Nerith: Gabriel, do you think we'll have any time to do some shopping in this town before someone is stupid enough to release the hecatomb? / Gabriel: Not likely. / [[Sign: Eagle's Liver Inn. View from outside] / Nerith: Aw. We never have time to do anything fun. / Gabriel:...
#12 Called to slay [[Gabriel is finishing up a Crystal comminication with Mitzi's mom from the Mage's guild.]] / [[Gabriel tosses the crystal to Nerith.]] / Gabriel: Are you done causing traffic accidents? We're on. / Nerith: Already? This town is full of greenies. How did anyone get that far? / Gabriel: You're five...
#13 Sleep in the bed you made [[Naked Solen runs up to Trent and Findlay]] / Solen: Help me! / Findlay: Please put your clothes on first! / Trent: Are there monsters? Where? / [[Solen starts pulling on his robe.]] / Solen: Not monsters. Psycho ex-girlfriend. If anyone asks, say we've been adventuring together. / Findlay: Let's go...
#14 A stranger with a mission [[A cloaked and hooded man rides up on horseback.]] / Man: Adveturers! What great fortune! I am in need of the services of intrepid young men such as yourselves. / Findlay: We're busy. / Man [[Crying]]: Please! My daughter has been kidnapped by foul bandits! I'll pay you well for her rescue! / Trent...
#15 Tracking Findlay: Shouldn't we get ourselves legitimately in the guild before we take on side quests? / Trent: Solen's in the guild. / Solen: Findlay, a girl is in trouble. We must move swiftly. / Trent: Solen's right. There's plenty of time to join the guild after we kill all the bandits. / Solen: Here are...
 
#16 In A.D. 2101... [[Mitzi begins to pick herself up off the floor of a cell.]] / Narration: War was beginning. / [[Dark glasses and suits guys pick themselves up off the floor as the cards from their poker game flutter around them. Chairs and tables are overturned from an explosion.]] / Greasy Haired Suit: What happen? / Bald...
#17 Rescue! [[As the tower keep explodes, Mitzi is blown through the sky.]] / Mitzi: Aaaaaaaaa... / [[Mitzi flips head over heals as she is blasted through the air.]] / Mitzi: Aaaaaaaaaaa... / [[Mitzi lands unceremoniously on her ass.]] / Mitzi: Aaa... Oomph! / [[Solen, Trent, Findlay, and the cat lean over Mitzi...
#18 Thank me without words Solen: I can see that you are so overcome with gratitude that you have become speechless. / [[Pointing to a group of shrubs so small that even the cat cannot find concealment behind them]] / Solen: There are some bushes where you can remove all your clothes and begin thanking me without words. / [[Solen...
#19 Unnecessary bondage [[Solen sits outside a classroom with his hands and legs bound, a gag around his mouth has been loosened by his struggles to the point where he is able to talk.]] / Solen: It should disturb me that my guild ID was accepted even though I don't look anything like the picture on my card anymore and I was...
#20 On Trolls and Toothpaste <> / 12. Dental hygiene was brought to the forefront of normal life in the time of the Ancients, as part of Troll warrior rituals which involved roaring at one's opponents and baring one's teeth in defiance. A Troll shaman who worked under the name of Bloodstaff m'Grathroer realized that...
 
#21 Ribbon : Broadsword :: Green Beret :_____ [[Trent, Findlay, Mitzi and Solen make their way through a wooded area toward the newly opened tomb. Solen is now wearing the whistle that used to belong to the SAAT proctor.]] / Trent: Ribbon is to Broadsword as Green Beret is to...? / Horned Guard: The tomb is closed. / Findlay: What about all my...
#22 Maybe you could try bribery Horned Guard: You know, if you really have your heart set on going into this tomb and dying a horrible death at the hands of monsters, there's no need to get violent. I'd recommend you try bribery. / Findlay: You expect us to pay you to let us go die in there? What will the counci of mages say about...
#23 Enter the Ancient's Tomb [[Findlay looks at the purse he took from the Horned Guard.]] / Findlay: The council of mages sure does skimp on employee salaries. / Mitzi: It's freezing in here. / [[Trent looks at a corpse frozen in a block of ice.]] / Trent: I found something. / Solen: Either the cold has frozen the corpses of the...
#24 Just begging for it [[Mitzi melts the ice from around a dead adventurer.]] / Trent: Findlay, do you have to search every dead adventurer? This is boring! / Findlay: They might have found something we need, Trent. / Solen: Anything they might have found, didn't help them. / Findlay [[pointing to an unopened chest]]: Look...
#25 Trent Smash! [[Trent swings his sword at the mimic while Mitzi finishes melting some dead guy out of a block fo ice.]] / [[Trent bring his sword crashing down like an axe on the mimic, chopping it in half]] / [[Trent is surrounded by broken parts of mimic and treasure]] / Trent: They're like carnivourous piņatas...
 
#26 Something behind us [[Gabriel swings his sword through an onion-man]] / Nerith: Gabriel, I heard something. / Gabriel: I'll kill it. / [[Gabriel slashes through an overall-wearing werewolf]] / Nerith: This tomb is getting warm. Now it stinks again. Maybe a dragon? / Gabriel: I'll kill it. / [[Gabriel stabs a surprised looking...
#27 Healing potions [[Solen offers Findlay a potion]] / Solen: You're injured, Findlay. Here, drink this. / Findlay: You've obviously mistaken me for someone who is either crazy or stupid. I'm not touching that. / Solen: Huh? It's a healing potion. What are you afraid of? / [[A zombie approaches].] / Findlay: The first potion...
Happy Easter! 04 [[Findlay, wearing bunny ears, sits and collects eggs in a basket while the cat looks on]]
#28 Should have bought a map Mitzi: Hey! We already melted this guy once before. / [[Solen twirls his staff in circular motions]] / Solen: Just like the tornado tongue twister, we're going in circles. We should have bought a map. / Findlay: Wait a minute, Solen, you told us that you had a cartographic memory. / Solen: You want to...
#29 Spot check = 1 Solen: Constantly thrusting your sword into things must lower your INT, Trent. / Trent: Huh? / [[The cat sees Nerith approaching.]] / Solen: You just keep on poking things and making them squirt.Of course there are maps, even though no one has come out of here alive. There are always maps. Don't try...
 

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