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| slantwords.com/01_28_10.html | Having a tunnel to China was great / for the take-out, / but I got real tired of fighting off the mole people. |
| slantwords.com/01_29_09.html | I only had one job on the island, / ring the bell if I saw anyone approach. / It's not my fault they had weed with them. |
| slantwords.com/01_31_08.html | I like the look I get from people, / the wide-eyed amazement, the open jaw, / when I pretend to drop them to their death. |
| What? I was listening to you. / You just said, / "Are you looking at her ass?" | |
| slantwords.com/02_01_10.html | When the Jungle Cruise Captain became suddenly ill / I knew, as the only stand-up comic on board, it was / my destiny to get us out of here alive. |
| Somewhere between dinner and dancing / I realized / you were a transsexual. | |
| slantwords.com/02_02_09.html | I don't know what this guy was doing when he died, but / by the looks of it, / I don't think I really want to know. |
| slantwords.com/02_04_08.html | There are some who say / you haven't lived / until you have seen porn on IMAX. |
| slantwords.com/02_04_10.html | With no one watching C-SPAN, / Congress had long since devolved / into a simple ice cream social. |
| slantwords.com/02_05_09.html | Sometimes I pretend to be a robot / with a strong new body / and a hollow space where my heart should go. |
| slantwords.com/02_07_08.html | I drew comet trails in the sand / long streaks in my direction, / but the waves washed it all away before you found me. |
| Someone had enough foresight / to sell clean underwear / at the apocalypse. | |
| slantwords.com/02_08_10.html | The life of a time traveler was not / as easy or amazing as you would imagine, / knowing everyone you love was dying over and over again. |
| When I grow up my mom wants me to marry a man / who is a doctor or a lawyer, but little does she know / I'm a lesbian. | |
| slantwords.com/02_09_09.html | The shipwrecked family thought / if they hung the children's clothes on the search light / at least Michael Jackson would come to the rescue. |
| slantwords.com/02_11_08.html | It wasn't easy finding Elvis, / but I would gladly dig him up all over again / just to shake his hand. |
| slantwords.com/02_11_10.html | Grandma was so excited to see / when their flight was arriving that I didn't have / the heart to tell her she was looking at a microwave. |
| slantwords.com/02_12_09.html | Morning lingered over Los Angeles / and I just knew, in my heart, that somewhere / a celebrity was getting their anus bleached. |
| slantwords.com/02_14_08.html | While you weren't looking / I picked a wildflower for you / and made off with your purse. |
| It was the worst kind of prison / trapped upsidedown, eyes facing forward, / drowning in the deep blue of the sky. | |
| slantwords.com/02_15_10.html | The future brought instant travel, / but god damn it. / Where is my lightsaber? |
| People see all sorts of things... / dogs, fire engines, God, / but all I see are your tits. | |
| slantwords.com/02_16_09.html | I inched closer and closer, / feeling on the verge of something monumental / or throwing up. |
| slantwords.com/02_18_08.html | Confusing a bit of syntax / the government decided to revitalize the War on Drugs / and the Pottery Barn had to go underground. |
| slantwords.com/02_18_10.html | His forward thinking sense of humor / paid off when alien archeologists / discovered his bomb shelter porn museum. |
| slantwords.com/02_19_09.html | I keep having that same dream, you know, / the one with you on one side, me on the other, / the bridge raised between us. |
| slantwords.com/02_21_08.html | For years they thought the opera house was haunted, / but it turned out to be just like / the ending of every episode of Scooby Doo. |
| I could have sworn it was an alien pod, / but the scientists keep assuring me it is nothing more / than frozen pee dropped from an airplane. | |
| slantwords.com/02_22_10.html | Death was his roulette, / a simple spin / and your number was up. |
| There was one fairy left / in the whole world / and you just stepped on her. | |