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| My Lucky Day cover | Mild Mannered Jerks:
/ My Lucky Day! http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=1 |
| Purse Theif | Galute: Gimme the bag! / Galute: Call the police and I'll moidalize ya! http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=2 |
| Ollie appears | Balloon: Crime Fighting Tip #1 / Balloon: The bigger they are, the less they like getting beaned in the nuts with a baseball bat.
/ Ollie: Hey, doucheface! / Galute: MY NIBLETS!
/ Ollie: Let's dance! http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=3 |
| The Battle Continues! | Ollie: Eek! / Ollie: Oeuf! / Box: Crime Fighting Tip #2: Sing Love-Shack in your head as loudly and happily as possible to dull the pain of the inevitable rain of blows which is to follow. / Ollie: This galute is one tough son of a bitch!
/ Ollie: Oh man that's sick, get your hand out of your pants! / Galute:... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=4 |
| Defeated | BAM! / Balloon: Crime fighting tip #4: when your opponent defeats you $ runs away clutching his groin, leaving you cold and sore in the freshly fallen snow, resist the powerfull urge to cry untill your tears form a suit of armour (emotional armour). http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=5 |
| Ollie comes home | Ollie: Oh, hey Olive.
/ Olive: You seem rather glum! Check out my quit your mopin' dance! / Olive: Note the butt-shake! / Olive: You're not even looking at my butt.
/ Ollie: A dude grabbed his balls and hit me with the same hand.
/ Olive: Still, butt-shake!
/ Ollie: Shut up. / Olive: FINE OLLIE.
/ Olive:... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=6 |
| On the phone with Marilyn | Ollie: Hey there Marilyn, just returning your call!
/ Marilyn: Hey Todd!
/ Ollie: No...
/ Marilyn: Pete?
/ Ollie: No...
/ Marilyn: Umm....
/ Ollie: ...Ollie...
/ Marilyn: Ollie...?
/ Ollie: O'....Neal...
/ Marilyn: OH HEY! / Marilyn: Oh well hey, I just called because I'm throwing a party on Saturday (I'm turning... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=7 |
| Panic! | Balloon: Saturday
/ Olive: Is my tail on straight?
/ Ollie: yes.
/ Ollie: Incidentally, why are you dressed as a "playboy bunny"?
/ Olive: it's clearly my costume. / Ollie: Okay, this is the part where I sob softly because Marilyn didn't tell me this is a costume deal! / Olive: Shit!
/ Olive: Well, there's... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=8 |
| COMPLETELY BELIEVEABLE INTRODUCTIONS. | Ollie: Do she and I really give off a goin' out vibe? well she and I are just friends. / Marilyn: Silly me! There I go making dumb assumptions again, it's always getting my into trouble, like this one time in my first spanish class, actually let me back up here for just a minute, I was trying to strengthen... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=9 |
| Ollie and Todd debate | Ollie: Being Invincivle does not make me immune to pain!
/ Todd: Well OOPS, sorry about your dress man, I'm going to go mingle some more.
/ Ollie: You owe me a new martini!
/ Todd: Why? / Ollie: Because you made me spill this one!
/ Todd: Martinis aren't red, and you don't salt the glass. / Balloon: So... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=10 |
| Ollie and Pete discuss Ollie's powers | Ollie: Well I could help you guys out because I can't be hurt.
/ Pete: Well no, thanks though.
/ Ollie: Why not?
/ Pete: Just look at yourself! Look man, you're like 3 lbs, so what if you're a little invincible, what-ever, that doesn't mean you can fight worth half a shit! You can't even keep your dress... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=11 |
| Olive is tipsy | Olive: Come here you!
/ Ollie: Olive, are you super-humanly drunk already?
/ Olive: Ollie, you're a great person, I'm lucky to have a friend like you. / Ollie: lava-men are inv... are you okay?
/ Olive: You'll get a girlfriend soon buddy just... ugh... I need a bucket. / Olive: Sorry...
/ Ollie: That's... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=12 |
| Lava-Men Whining | Ollie: Stay cool O'neal, just try and reason with them.
/ Ollie: Hey lava-friends, why y'all got to be invadin'? / Lava-man: Well Filthy cross-dressing human, there exist billions of reasons. Chiefly, your surface world fashion magazines promote an unattainable standard of beauty. / Marilyn: Don't bother... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=13 |
| Ollie gets smushed | Lava-man: Excuse me puny humans, but I don't think you're giving thi situation it's due gravity. / Ollie: He's right. Man they are HUGE.
/ Pete: Well go ahead and use your invincibility to stop them. / Ollie: You know what man? Balls to you. Invincibility is a low better for brawlin' with lava-men than... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=14 |
| Ollie Vomits a little | Marilyn:You Okay?
/ Ollie:Yeah, my clothes got burned off y'know
/ Marily: Yeah, I know that, i was watching. / Box:I was naked in front of the girl I liked, and a dude I didn't. It was really, really cold. I thought to myself, "Well, at least things can't get any worse." / Box:Which was about when Marilyn's... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=15 |
| Triumph! | Marilyn:You did it!
/ Marilyn:...Sort of... / Pete:Yeah, i have to admit it buddy, i was wrong about you!
/ Ollie: Very true. I was being a tool too, I guess.
/ Marilyn:Let's go back and have panckaes! / Box:And so...
/ Marilyn:They're done!
/ Ollie: Oh! Yum!
/ Ollie: Jesus, that used to be food!
/ Marilyn:... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=16 |
| A cheery farewell | Marilyn: Do you like it?
/ Ollie: OH YES! I am in no way feeling the urge to wretch right now! / Ollie: Well, I am totally stuffed. Thanks for inviting me tonight, but I think i ought to get Olive home. / Olive: Yes please, before I lose any more of my costume to the seas of time.
/ Olive:Sorry I'm no... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=17 |
| Psycho Sexual cover | Box: Mild Mannered Jerks: Psycho Sexual http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=18 |
| Workin' overtime | Ollie: Welcome to "Coffee-Town", may I take your order? / Customer: About how big is your 16oz. coffee? / Ollie: As the name suggests, 16oz. With room for cream.
/ Ollie: No sir. Fluid ounces.
/ Dierdra: *sigh* / Box: Similar hours pass
/ Ollie: Diedra, I hate to impose, but it's been a long night. Would... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=19 |
| Highly surprising thing! | Ollie: So there I am, totally nude, fightin' lava-men
/ Dierdra: That's so horrible!
/ Dierdra: I mean...because it's embarassing, not because you're gross...or something... / Ollie: HOLY SHIT! Frankenstein is shaking down a hooker! / Frankie: Bitch, you best be steppin' out 'o' my turf!! / Dierdra:... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=20 |
| Ollie gets beaten up again | Dierdra: Olliver, stop! This is simultaneously crazy and dumb.
/ Ollie: I can help her, Dierdra! I'm invincible! / Dierdra: No, no Olliver!
/ Dierdra: It's just that your brain is crazy, which makes you think that you are! / Ollie: Hey you big ugly and probably gay loser, LET'S DANCE!!
/ Frankie: Okay. / Sound... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=21 |
| The hooker is safe! | Frankie: Kid, seriously, just apologize and I'll stop.
/ Ollie: No way, chump! I'm about to make my move! / Frankie: Whoah, hey man, easy on the bolts, they're the only thing that keeps- / Ollie: Hey wow! I actually mde my move! / Dierdra: OLLIVER! Put that thing down before you get germs from it! / Ollie:... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=22 |
| Ollie and Olive's discourse on the matter of smell-heads | Dierdra: Olliver, seriously, that thing should not be in my car.
/ Ollie: Relax, that smell will febreeze right out. / Olive: Ollie, we have angered God and he has set a plague of stinks upon us!
/ Ollie: No it's just my head here. / Olive: There are no words to express how angry I am with you for this. / Ollie:... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=23 |
| Enter Johnny Fangs | Dusty Joe: Mr. Fangs, you got to Understand, this here is an Emergency! / Johnny Fangs: Dusty Joe, you should not be here at this moment
/ Dusty Joe: Sir It's About Franky! Someone Lifted his head! / Johnny Fangs: WHAT?! Find this Bastard and Ice Him. Take Chupacabra with you!
/ Dusty Joe: Aww! Boss... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=24 |
| The runiation of a knife | Dusty Joe: Chups you go get the head, I'll handle this dame!
/ Chupacbra: Yes sir. / Dusty Joe: Allright bitch, Dusty Joe wants to see some titties! / Dusty Joe: Huh? / Olive: Next time you plan a breaking and entering rape adventure, you might want to check and see if your victim has FUCKING LASER... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=25 |
| Dude, acid, jesus | Ollie: Olive, are you okay? I was in the shower and I heard hollering. / Olive: Just teaching a mummy's bitch ass some manners.
/ Olive: Look out though, the Chupacabra is headed your way! / Chupacabra: Give me the head of Frankie, or I spit acid on you! Don't think I can't, I'm the fucking Chupacabra!
/ Ollie:... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=26 |
| Ollie trails some guys | Ollie: Come on Olive, we have to tail them!
/ Olive: This is your mess Ollie, you deal with it. / Ollie: I guess it's up to you, O'neal! / Ollie: As long as I have the drop on them this should be cake.
/ Dusty Joe: I really appreciate you carrying me.
/ Chupacabra: You'd do the same if I were humiliated... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=27 |
| Dierdra sluts out | Dierdra: I wouldn't go out there if I were you. / Ollie: Sweet Mighty Christmas! / Ollie: Hey skanky lady, could you maybe not sneak up on me like that?
/ Ollie: Wait, DIERDRA? What are you wearing? / Dierdra: Olliver, when yous ee me in this guise, 0please refer to me as Mistress Midnight. / Dierdra:... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=28 |
| Dominatrix and nerd, the ultimate team. | Mistress Midnight: We don't have time for this! Listen: we're dealing with the monster mafia!
/ Ollie: Um... / Mistress Midnight: Think about it Olliver, who better to run a mob...
/ Than beings no-one even think exists. / Ollie: Ssssh,
/ Do you hear that? / Mistress Midnight: Don't shush me! That... http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=29 |
| Dierdra strikes! | Ollie: Stay Still! / Dierdra: Looks like it's just you and me, you Yeti Wannabe. / Dierdra: Prepare to submit to the white hot fury of Mistress- / Bigfoot: I was doing my thing way before the Yeti. / Sept 19th, 2005 Matt E. The Yeti actually credits Bigfoot in his autobiograhpy http://stumpnet.net/mmj/arc.php?issue=30 |