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| The Sausage Files - A Bad Hand | [[Pirate Sausage and a roman guard are sitting at a table playing cards while Jesus is in the background nailed to the cross]]
/ Jesus: Aw, come on, don't gamble on my robe! That's my favourite robe! Come on guys, please?
/ [[Pirate Sausage holds three playing cards, a backwards queen of hearts and an Uno card.]]
/ Pirate Sausage: I have a... Royal House! I think you'll find I win his cloak... thingy.
/ Roman Guard: We're playing dice! http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php |
| Pirate Sausage Only Has One Boot | [[Pirate Sausage stands next to a boot]] / [[Pirate Sausage seems confused]] / [[Pirate Sausage has an idea]] / [[Pirate Sausage puts the boot on his head and wears it as a hat]] http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2004-01-01 |
| Pirate Sausage steps in some Nazi | [[Pirate Suasage is running along whistling to himself]] / [[Pirate Sauage steps in some red blood like liquid]] / [[Pirate Sausage looks on the bottom of his foot/shoe to reveal a hitler like face in the bloody mess]]
/ Pirate Sausage: Oh dear I've stepped in some Nazi! http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2004-01-08 |
| Pirate Sausage is a chicken | [[Pirate Sausage is a chicken]] / [[Pirate Sausage looks at his new wings and notices he is a chicken]] / Pirate Sausage: Bother! Now I can't put banana skins on my fingers! http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2004-01-22 |
| Pirate Sausage eats a policeman | [[Pirate Sausage is being spoken to by a policeman]]
/ Policeman: Speeding is an offence, but mach 2 in a 60 zone is suicide! You'd better come to the station with... / [[Pirate Sausage thinks or is confused, as demonstrated by a questionmark above his head.]] / [[Pirate Sausage is eating the policeman]]
/ Pirate Sausage: I wonder if anyone will notice he's gone? http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2004-01-29 |
| Pirate Sausage Pokes a Red Thing | [[Pirate Sausage stands poised, ready to poke a red thing that resembles a letter box.]] / [[Pirate Sausage pokes the red thing.]]
/ Red Thing: NO FRIES! / [[Pirate Sausage is seriously scared.]] http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2004-02-14 |
| Pirate Sausage gives odd gifts | [[Keith is looking upwards and offscreen]]
/ Keith: Has anyone ever told you that it's rude to give somone a gift and then use it more than them? / Keith: also gifts usually consist of something the recipient wants or needs / Keith: and I'm sure I can find a better use for a hat rack anyway. / [[Pirate Sausage is sitting on top of a hat rack]]
/ Pirate Sausage: Really? Like what? http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2004-12-28 |
| Pirate Sausage gets rid of the tree | [[Keith and Pirate Sausage are standing outside their house.]]
/ Keith: Oh well. New year, time to take down the christmas tree. / Pirate Sausage: No need! I already got rid of it!
/ Keith: Oh, where'd you put the decorations? / Pirate Sausage: I left them on there, they make the smoke go funny coloured. / [[Inside, the christmas tree is burning, the smoke coming off the baubles is coloured.]] http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2005-01-01 |
| Pirate Sausage pulls a swifty | Keith: And then he had the NERVE to call me a slackass! / Pirate Sausage: I think you have a cute ass.
/ [[Pirate Sausage pinches Keith's bum]] / [[Keith is shocked]] / Keith: Wait a minute! I can't feel my wallet! http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2005-01-19 |
| The Sausage Files | Keith:I was going to make a cake today but...
/ Pirate Sausage: Cake! / Keith: ...but I can't find my whisk.
/ Pirate Sausage: Not to worry! You can use mine! / [[Pirate Sausage rummages through his cheeks.]] / [[Pirate Sausage pulls a whisk out of his cheeks.]]
/ Pirate Sausage: Tada!
/ Keith: I'll go keep looking.. http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2005-03-15 |
| The Sausage Files - Where be they now? | [[A monkey is sitting alone on a bench]]
/ Narrator: So what happened to that monkey?
/ Narrator: After Pirate Sausage absent mindedly left him at the bus station the monkey decided he'd have to go it alone. / [[Silhouette of the monkey with a walking stick approaching a castle on a cliffside]]
/ Narrator: After travelling for many years he came across a remote monastery perched on a rocky cliff face. / [[Close-up of the monkey's face]]
/ Narrator: For years he trained with all his might to one day become... / [[The monkey holding two vinyl records with a DJ medallion hung from his neck]]
/ Narrator: The Ultimate DJ http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2006-02-08 |
| The Sausage Files - Heavy Metal | [[Man in mexican outfit threatens Panda with a gun]]
/ Mexican Man: I am a dangerous bandito! Take me to the large sacks of money! / [[Panda eats the mans hand along with the gun]]
/ Mexican Man: Oh Sweet Marmoset! He has taken my arm into his mouth! / [[Panda has eaten all of mexican man other than his leg]] / [[Pirate Sausage and Keith are standing talking]]
/ Keith: Did you just hear something? Like... maracas?
/ Pirate Sausage: No, I was listening to my "angle grinders and heavy machinery" CD.
/ Keith: Weird http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2006-02-11 |
| The Sausage Files - Weer | Pirate Sausage: Hi Keith! Today seems a little surreal does it not? / [[Keiths body is replaced by a stick figure]]
/ Keith: Verily! / [[Keith and Pirate Sausage Kiss]] / [[A woman (possibly Acegikmo) stabs self in head with pencil]]
/ Narrator: Comic Failure - Reboot? http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2006-02-18 |
| The Sausage Files Presents the Undead Slut | [[An animated zombie in revealing clothing with a bite taken out of her left side]]
/ Undead Slut: Dooooo... Meeeeee... http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2006-02-22 |
| The Sausage Files - Edwin | [[A legless purple octopus]]
/ Narrator: This is Edwin.
/ Narrator: He is an octopus.
/ Narrator: He has no legs.
/ Narrator: That is all. http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2006-03-01 |
| The Sausage Files - Dietary Concerns | Random Blue Guy: I art the JOY!! / Pirate Sausage: Sic 'em boy. / [[Panda attacks random blue guy]] / [[Panda stands triumphanly infront of Pirate Sausage]] http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2006-03-11 |
| The Sausage Files - Pirate Sausage makes me draw comics on Wednesdays and Saturdays | Pirate Sausage: The Lights! They're invading my brain! Flourescent lights in my brAIN!
/ keith: Oookayyy... / Keith: I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you've had to much coffee. / Pirate Sausage: DECAF BAD / [[Pirate Sausage shoots lazer's from his eyes at keith]] http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2006-04-01 |
| Nutrition Issues | [[Pirate sausage is wearing a "doctors outfit" while talking to a old man]]
/ Pirate Sausage: So, What seems to be the problem with you?
/ Old Man: Well... I'm having a little trouble you know, pleasing the wife. / Pirate Sausage: I see... You're obviously suffering from a lack of vitamin mackerel. / Old Man: I've never heard of that before, is there anything you can do? / [[Pirate sausage is seen shoving a giant mackerel down the old man's throat]]
/ Pirate Sausage: It will feel normal in a second. Trust me, I'm a doctor http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2006-06-17 |
| The Sausage Files - Pirate Sausage makes me draw comics on Wednesdays and Saturdays | [[pirate sausage and keith are in a kitchen, pirate sausage is holding lab beakers]]
/ Keith: what in gods name are you doing? how did you get lab equipment? / Pirate Sausage: I'm making the ULTIMATE CONDIMENT! it will taste good with absolutely anything! / Keith: your stupidity never ceases to amaze. that will never work.
/ Pirate Sausage: of course it will work! / [[Professor Science appears next to Pirate Sausage]]
/ Pirate Sausage: Professor Science told me to do it!
/ Professor Science: The combination of Sweet Chilli and Tomato Sauce flavours will be so volatile it may result in a taste EXPLOSION! http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2006-06-24 |
| The Sausage Files - Holy Criticism | [[sign above reads "the life of our lord posh exculsive art exhibit". beret wearing jesus faces angry gaurd]]
/ beret-wearing-bearded-jesus:i heard professional art critics get in here for free? / gaurd: you know, if it wasn't for the beret, you'd look just like the guy from before who couldnt get in. oh well. / [[jesus is inside art exhibition looking at painting]]
/ jesus: who the hell painted me cring on the cross?! I'll teach them to make me look like a pussy! / [[jesus walking away from burning painting from previous frame, looking at new picture]]
/ HAHA! leo made peter look like a girl! i knew we let him into heaven for something! http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2006-08-19 |
| The Sausage Files - Jesus Huntin' | Newsreader On Television:In other news, a man claiming to be the "Son of God" has been taken into custody by the police after setting fire to several paintings in the Adelaide Gallery's "Life of Our Lord" exhibit. The Pope is, however, claiming that all supposed Messiahs come under his juristiction. / [[Jesus on television is being led away by a policeman. He is wearing a black beret.]]
/ Jesus: Do you have ANY idea who I am?
/ Policeman: No, sir, and I don't care.
/ Jesus: I am the Alpha and the Omega dammit! / [[Pirate Sausage points at television in astonished rage.]]
/ Pirate Sausage: MINE BERET! / [[Pirate Sausage has armed himself with a pistol a katana (sword) and an army helmet.]]
/ Keith: Where are you going?
/ Pirate Sausage: ME? I'm going Huntin'. http://thesausagefiles.net/index.php?date=2006-09-02 |
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