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SIR EEL: Baby Bird Once, I found a baby bird. / Unfortunately, I found it only after i had stepped on it.
SIR EEL: Good Listener I sat for awhile like that, the phone cradled against my ear, not speaking. / So that briefly, to anyone passing, I was someone who cared enough to listen... to the dial-tone and what it had to say.
SIR EEL: Ugly People There seems to be alot more ugly people around lately. I can't remember the last time I saw someone who really made me stop and stare. / But I've figured it all out... vampires are killing all the cute ones.
SIR EEL: We Never Cuddle Anymore Hug my gay teddy bear. / HUG HIM!
SIR EEL: Fortune Cookie "One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions." / lucky numbers 15, 19, 20, 30, 38, 50
 
SIR EEL: Skin Deep When faced with brilliance, I can't shake the feeling that I'm seeing something so alive that it can't possibly be human. / Which makes me scared to touch it and want to flay it like an orange.
SIR EEL: Back-lit At times, I'm almost glad that I can draw exactly what I see in my mind. / Because if i could, I don't think anyone would ever speak with me again.
SIR EEL: Image I want to paint myself / but the color I feel doesn't exist.
SIR EEL: This is Why I Don't Draw Normal Comics There's a horde of women in Gotham who know who you are.
SIR EEL: To Life, L'chaim If I were a zombie... / Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.
 
SIR EEL: Last Midnight Tomorrow I go into the woods. May the wolves find me.
SIR EEL: The Hmuan Biran is Plrcetfey Albe to Raed Clmopex Pasgases of Txet I really want to understand code. / But it just looks to much like raping the alphabet.
SIR EEL: Arachnids of the Sea Love tastes like crab. / Oh wait... that's a spider.
SIR EEL: Squeaky Newly cleaned and already I stink.
SIR EEL: Shadow Dread Forget black and white / it's time to be afraid of color again.
 
SIR EEL: Treatment The more I watch hentai, the more I'm convinced that the only phrase I need to know in Japanese is: / that's not going to fit in my ass.
SIR EEL: Out of the Closets and Into the Streets According to certain sources, the starving children of the world are my fault. / It seems i haven't been doing my job.
SIR EEL: Middle Child Syndrome The first thing I actually remember, is coming down the stairs and seeing my mother feeding my brother. / But all I recall feeling, was how much I hated that chair.
SIR EEL: Like Warriors, on the Battlefield If it's true that we dance how we fuck... / Then does that mean people who don't move their hands or arms when they dance, like to be tied up?
SIR EEL: Editor's Argot If you didn't want people telling you exactly how and why you suck... / then why did you write a novel?
 
SIR EEL: Viseral Colloquy I call it abstract martini... / You are so full of shit. / Shhhhhhhuh-ut up!
SIR EEL: School-yard Paranoia I like to draw in public, but I can't help feeling that someone is behind me waiting to snatch up my sketchbook.
SIR EEL: Lust For Life It's strange how a look of such intense anger, seems like you're trying not to cry.
SIR EEL: Secrets of Angels Gay boys can't get you pregnant.
SIR EEL: Hook and Line In retrospect I probably shouldn't have taught hummingbirds to drink from your eyes, it only made them easier to steal.
 
SIR EEL: Constitutional Rorschach My most common task when walking, / is to scope out places I would sleep if homeless.
SIR EEL: Cry Wolf There's a spot on my back that, when pressed allows me to remember everything. Not just things I should recall but people I've never met, places I'll never see... / Though the pain involved is unreal, / press it again.
SIR EEL: Faith Revival I like being scared. / Mainly because, for those few minutes / it's possible for everything to exist.
SIR EEL: Carrion Fishing Everything smells like chicken broth lately... / I think maggots are eating my brain.
SIR EEL: Measuring the Marigolds i start to cry again and i hate that, it always makes me feel too real, / too helpless. Full of anger and anxiety with nowhere to go from there.
 

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