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a class="searchlink" href="http://onyxsparrow.com/prepare_to_die/archive.cfm?issue=1&face=front">http://onyxsparrow.com/prepare_to_die/archive.cfm?issue=1&face=front [untranscribed - please consider transcribing this comic!]
Our hero awakens... Mike "Ugh... the hell..." / *thud*
*ahem* Our heroES awaken... Mike "Let's try that again..." / Manda "... the hell..." / Mike "Yeah that's what I said."
A brief but enlightening accessment Manda "Mike... where are we?" / Mike "No clue..." / Manda "How's we get here?" / Mike "don't know that either." / Manda "You're not being very helpful." / Mike "Sorry, I just got here myself."
Things are looking up Manda: "Ok... I remember that we started RPing..." / Mike: "I was setting up. You and Bill were finishing your character sheets." / Manda: "You were rolling INI and then there was... like... a flash... thing." / Mike: "Right... and then the falling... from..." / *Mike looks up* "Uh huh..."
 
Enter: the Bill Mike: "I think there's a town or something this way." / Manda: "Good, maybe we can get some answers..." / Mike: "Answers for threee I guess." / *Thud* / Bill: "..." / Bill: "... the hell..." / Mike: "Um... hi Bill." / Manda: "I hope you didn't invite anyone else over today."
A Brief Recap Our three heroes stand around trying to figure out what happens next while the chaos portal spins above them. / *Bill* "So where" / *Amanda* “Covered that.” / *Bill* “How did we.” / *Amanda* “Covered that too.” / *Bill* “Ok …so what’s the plan?” / *Mike* “Gonna wander off that way and get lost.” *Amanda* “Like we weren’t lost already?”
Appreciating the beauty of nature The three adventurers start walking towards a hunch, through the woods to the village they go. *Amanda* “So…there’s a village this way and you know that because…?” *Mike* “I donno, I’ve just got this weird hunch.” *Bill* “heh…” *Bill* “Hey you know…These are pretty cool woods. If I were a serial killer this would be a great place to hide the bodies…considering how fast they would decompose in the moist fertile atmosphere.” *Bill* “What?”
Taking the Scenic Route Taking a very long walk with our three friends in a nice wood. *Amanda* “Are we there yet?” *Mike* “No.” Still walking on…
The Hunch pays off… Still walking…*Amanda* “Are we there yet?” *Mike* “No.” *Amanda* “Are we there yet?” *Mike* “No.” *Amanda* “Are we there yet?” *Mike* “No.” *Amanda* “Are we there yet?” *Mike* “Yes.” *Amanda* “Really?” *Mike* “No.” *Amanda* So…How much farther is this village of yours?” *Mike* “Manda…if I knew how far it was I’d tell you. I’ve just got this feeling…I know it’s there somewhere.” *Bill* “Can you to just cut it out? I’m tired. I’m hungry...we’d better find this village of yours before I turn into the Wendigo and eat your or something.” *Amanda* “Not without buying me dinner first you won’t.” *Mike* “Hey check it out…looks like there’s something up here.” *Bill* “What was that about buying dinner first?” *Amanda* “Shut up.” The three adventurers find the village after their long walk.
 
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - A Little something by Manda Comic #11 Ork-Be-Gone by Wiztech "A Spray a day keeps the Horde Away."
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Meeting the Natives Comic #12 The adventurers enter the village and meet a local. *Bill* “Finally! Maybe now we can figure out where the hell we are.” A random guy standing against the wall offers greetings. *Some Guy* “Hello Strangers! I haven’t see you in this town before...” *Amanda* “I’ll handle this…” *Amanda* “Excuse me Sir, but my friends and I are a little lost…could you please tell us where we are?” *Some Guy* “This is the town of Meadowdale.” *Some Guy* “Here you can find anything a young adventurer could need to start their adventure! We’ve got the shop for your weapons and supplies, the inn for resting after a good fight , and the local bar to learn about local quests and work on your Charisma score.” *Amanda* “Um…thanks. Excuse me for a minute...” *Mike**Blink* *Amanda* “Either that guy is WAY too into LARPing, or he needs to up his meds.” *Mike* “There’s…no…way…”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Like two peas in a pod Comic #13 The adventurers are standing around in the middle of the village discussing what is going on or at least attempting to figure things out. *Bill* “No way that guy isn’t a pod person? Yeah, wonder when he’ll start sporing…” *Mike* “No, the town…It’s Meadowdale. That’s the name of the town…” *Amanda* “Yeah, it’s the name of the town. So what Mike??” *Mike* “That’s the name of the first town in the Rp story we were about to start...” *Amanda* “That’s quiet a coincidence…some name, huh.” *Bill* “Oh I’m on to your game…you’re not taking me that easily you fuckin’ Pod People!!”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - With the swimsuit issue and a free football phone Comic # 14 Bill, Mike, and Amanda remain standing in the middle of the village looking at one another. *Amanda* “What the hell are you talking about?” *Bill* “Sorry…I had an episode.” *Amanda* “You’ve got issues.” *Mike* “He’s got subscriptions.”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Undeniable Evidence Comic # 15 Our heroes discuss a theory. *Bill* So what I’m hearing is you think we might be inside your Weapons and Wizards Campaign.” *Mike* “That’s the theory...” *Bill* “Like that Capt’n SNES cartoon?” *Mike* “Something like that.” *Amanda* “Ok so the name of the town is freaky but I’d like some hard evidence of this theory.” *Mike* “Like what?” / *Some Guy* “I’ve heard rumors of a talking red kitten that has the power to drive a man insane...” *Amanda* “alright I’m convinced.” *Mike* “How come?” *Amanda* “Just sounds like something you’d put in a game.”
 
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Taking in the Local Culture Comic #16 The three of them decide where to begin and how best to go about it. Mike and Amanda decide to shop while bill decides to do his own thing. *Mike* “Okay let’s settle this and go into the shop. If they sell weird stuff for gold then it’s the game.” *Bill* “Hmm...” *Amanda* “Sounds like a plan to me.” *Bill* “Hey Mike I’m gonna go into the bar.” *Mike* “I really thing that we should stick together until we know more.” *Bill* Just like a GM…keep the party together. Trust me I’ll be just fine… Researching the local culture and native people.” *Mike* “Alright but try not to get into trouble.” *Bill* “You know I don’t start trouble… … I just finish it.”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Guaranteed to raise profits up to 400% or your money back Comic #17 Mike and Amanda go to the shop and do some shopping. *Amanda* “Wow… ok, so I think this counts as Weird Stuff… so ask about the gold part.” *Mike* “If they take credit I see a few things I’d like for my own collection…” Enter the Merchant named Meadowdale Shopkeep. *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “Credit? I’m sorry but you must be speaking some form of Ogre grunt… Now you will buy something or stop wasting my ‘+1 Dragon Greed Oxygen.”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Customer service at it’s finest Comic #18 Mike and Amanda are still in the shop talking to Mr. Shopkeep. *Amanda* “So I’m gonna guess that you only take payment in Gold?” *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “That would be correct. We take gold and only gold.” *Mike* “Any chances that you could make a trade? We’re a little short on gold.” *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “Please… your attempt at bargaining insults my Intelligence score.” *Mike* “Um…huh?” *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “Uh Hello! As level 1 PCs you will have an allotment of gold provided by your GM for basic starting supplies, unless your GM is an idiot. So check your Character Sheets or stop wasting my time. I have elven maidens to oogle.” *Mike* “Hey, who are you calling an idiot??”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Foot approaching mouth, prepare for docking sequence Comic #19 Mike and Amanda make a few discoveries. *Mike* “First off... I’m not an idiot. I gave out starter gold to the characters to buy basic equipment.” *Amanda* “Hmm…” *Mike* “Problem is WE ARE NOT PCs!! We’re People and people don’t carry around starter gold!” *Mike* “Hey what the…??” *Mike* “People also don’t have Character Sheets...” *Amanda* “Mike?” *Mike* “Yeah?” *Amanda* “I’ve... got a Character sheet.”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Awkward Silence Comic #20 Mike and Amanda eye her character sheet while Mr. Shopkeep gets to be smugly satisfied with the whole situation. *Mike* “So…” *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “No please, not yet… I want to bask in the awkward ignorance of your stupidity a bit longer... thank you.”
 
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Money to burn… er melt… Comic #21 Amanda gets excited about shopping and Mike takes the fall. *Amanda* “Shopping Spree!! Out of the way Mike.!” *Mike gets shoved to the ground and stays there.* *Amanda* “I’m going to need an Elec Guitar, a Silver Pick, a Diamond-shield bracelet. A set of fence-link armor, and a dozen Regrow potions.” *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “Of course... wait here, I’ll go get the magic wand.” *Amanda* “Sure…I’ll take a wand too.” *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “Sarcasm is lost on you isn’t it?”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Manda’s Character Sheet Comic #22 Each character sheet reflects the unique artistry of the player and has his or her own personal touches. / ~Weapons & Wizards~ / ~Name~ Manda ~Race~ Human ~Class~ Songmage ~Level~ 1 / ~Alignment~ _____ ~Age~ 22 ~Sex~ F / ~Height~ 5’3” ~Weight~ X ~Eyes~ Green ~Hair~ Brown / ~Strength~ 4 ~Weapons~ Throwing daggers x2 / ~Dexterity~ 6 / ~Agility~ 5 / ~Intelligence~ 8 ~Armor~ Cloth / ~Wisdom~ 5 / ~Charm~ 9 (Soo Cute!) / ~Skills~ Throw weapons, play instrument, sing, dance, bitch, seduce, cook / ~Magic~ Lullaby, rock out, dance pant off, down beat / ~Items~ $Gold – 17$ Bed Roll
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - The customer is always… wrong. Comic #23 Amanda argues with Mr. Shopkeep. *Amanda* “Listen here pal…I’m sick of the sass, so you better make with the customer service or I’ll tell your manager.” *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “Silly girl…I’ll use small words so you can understand. You are Level 1. You can’t have those things…even if your GM said so to try and get into your pants. I still follow the rules of the game...” *Amanda* “Oh that’s it! I’m gonna rip off your...” *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “…besides the fact that you no longer have nearly enough gold.” *Amanda* “What the hell are you talking about?! I’ve got like two thousand…” *Mike speaks up from the floor* “I did not...” *Amanda* “HOLY CRAP!! Where’s my gold!?!?” *Amanda* “Alright Shopkeep, you get me some equipment before anything else happens…now!” *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “Certainly. I’ll see what I can do with your…limited budget.”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Versatility is the key to success Comic #24 Mike gets up off the floor while Amanda continues to talk to Mr. Shopkeep about purchasing equipment. *Mike* “Ugh...” *Amanda* “Well what have you got?” *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of one bed roll, two throwing daggers, and a set of cooking gear. You have nothing to make magic with, but you can certainly cook for the men-folk.” *Amanda* “That’s just great…” *Mike* *Still getting up* “A pot… and spoon can be used as a drum with a -5 hit roll penalty.” *Amanda* “You’re really not making me feel any better.”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Would you like paper or plastic? Comic #25 Mike and Amanda learn something new while shopping. *Amanda* “Well there’s that crap on the sheet…what the hell? The gold is going into the negatives… ?!?” *Mike* “I guess Bill just started a bar tab.” *Amanda* “You can do that?!?!” *Mike* “Apparently” / *Amanda* “Bill! Damnit!! I swear I’ll kill him!” *Mike gets shoved out of the way onto the floor again.* *Meadowdale Shopkeep* “Thank you for your patronage. Good luck on your epic and most likely suicidal Adventure Campaign.”
 
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Last Call Comic #26 A drunk Bill sits in the bar having another drink only to be seized by Amanda. *Bill* “Hey Barkeep! How about one more round?” *Enter Amanda pushing Bill off his stool.*
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - We were about to leave anyway… Comic #27 Amanda and Bill have a fight in the bar and are ejected from the bar. *Crash* *Thud* *Slam* *Amanda comes flying out of the bar followed by Bill.* *Barkeep* “And STAY OUT!!!” *Bill and Amanda lay on the ground.* *Mike* “What’s with the bubbles?” *Bill* “Thanks…I’m fine...”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Hello… My name is Bill … and I have a Status Ailment Comic #28 Mike asks questions, Bill, complete with bubbles, makes a discovery and Amanda explains what it is. Some Guy stands there just looking on. *Mike* “You’re drunk aren’t you?” *Bill* “Hello no I feel fine.” *Amanda* “I’ve got an idea… check your character sheet Bill.” *Bill* “…thing says I’m Drunk.” *Amanda* “Guess status ailments are enforced.” *Mike* “So when you get “Game Drunk” you don’t feel anything…” *Bill* “…” *Bill* “DAMNIT!!! I hate this Fucking Game!” *Amanda* “And the gold is still gone by the way.”
Prepare to Die: the webcomic - Legends are just pre-scripted storylines Comic #29 Mike, Bill, and Amanda try to figure out their next move while discovering more about the game they are inside. *Amanda* “Why don’t we just go back to the portal and get out of here?” *Mike* “I doubt it’s still there. It never is in these stories.” *Bill* “No but in the movies there’s always a vital overlooked clue.” *Amanda* “Mike if your GM then you should know what’s gonna happen right?” *Some Guy* “Legend tells of heroes that will save out land from the Great Evil.” *Amanda* “And I take it Mr. Obvious is giving us a clue too.” ~*Meanwhile*~ *Enter the twenty-sided die* *Tink* *It fell from the swirling portal.*

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