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follow your passion | The Chalkboard Manifesto guy on left: unhappy with your job? follow your passion! / guy on right: i don't have a passion! i just want to be lazy!
fuck at&t | The Chalkboard Manifesto hey at&t ! when i'm on the line with tech support because YOU fucked things up, it's not the best time to try to sell me things.
choose your own support | The Chalkboard Manifesto att: ... if you're calling about billing and accounts, press 3. / #3: boop! / att: ... if you're calling about an existing account, press 1. / #1: boop! / att: you find yourself in a dark room with only your phone. / if you want to sit down, press 1. / if you want to walk ahead, press 2. / #2: boop! / att: ... you stumble into a bottomless pit and die. thanks for calling choose your own adventure technical support. good-bye. / explanation: this comic inspired by the shitty at&t service rep who transferred me to a department that was closed.
hold band | The Chalkboard Manifesto Frame 1 audience: BOOO! BOOO! / frame 2 band drummer: thank you! thank you! we are the at&t hold music band! / frame3 audience: Boo! Boo! Boo! fuck you! get of the fucking stage! / frame 4 band drummer: we value you as listeners! are you ready for 20 more minutes of this ?
learning about people | The Chalkboard Manifesto guy holding book: i wanted to learn about people, so i threw out all my business books and bought some tolstoy & dostoyevsky.
 
happy turkey day | The Chalkboard Manifesto l guy: happy turkey day! / r guy: hey! who you calling a turkey? / m gal: be more sensitive!
fabian study skills | The Chalkboard Manifesto guy: instead of fighting, he delayed battle. they called him cunctator. he was a military genius! / gal: your homework is not hannibal's army. stop procrastinating.
intermittent network issues | The Chalkboard Manifesto l guy: you know what they say: a connection with intermittent network problems never drops when you watch it. / r guy: i believe the expression is: a watched pot never boils.
learning your lesson | The Chalkboard Manifesto guy: procrastination is like drinking: the next morning you always swear you'll never do it again.
anal experimentation | The Chalkboard Manifesto gal: have you ever tried anal? / guy: i hate sex with poop!
 
i swear hulu didn't pay me for this | The Chalkboard Manifesto gal: life's too short to half-watch a football game you don't care about. / guy: that's why i seize the day with hulu plus.
a good fart | The Chalkboard Manifesto gal: ahh... <> / a good fart can feel better than an orgasm.
i can't be racist | The Chalkboard Manifesto l guy: i can't be racist! i sit next to a black guy at work. sometimes we even talk.
networking book | The Chalkboard Manifesto l gal holding book: i'm reading this book about networking and it says you actually have to care about people. no wonder i'm so bad at it!
everything minimalist | The Chalkboard Manifesto guy: i like everything minimalist, except sex and breakfast cereal.
 
peaceful protest | The Chalkboard Manifesto guy: i'm all for ending segregation, but all these sit-ins are just hurting small businesses.
facebook timeline | The Chalkboard Manifesto guy: with timeline, facebook returns to its roots: making stalking easier.
wander the internet | The Chalkboard Manifesto do not wander the internet. / [[crossed out computer]] / let your mind wander instead.
things heard in football games | The Chalkboard Manifesto [[guy holding football, pondering]] / things heard at football games [[underlined]] / 1. ground and pound / 2. penetration / 3. spending a lot of time on his back / 4. all the balls are coming his way / 5. sack master
more things heard in football games | The Chalkboard Manifesto [[guy hiking football]] / more! things heard at football games [[underlined]] / 1. what a blow / 2. beat themselves / 3. he drilled them / 4. no protection whatsoever / 5. offensive explosion / BONUS: he hit the hole hard... he's just going to squeeze his way in there... that's a tight end!
 
gay marriage slippery slope | The Chalkboard Manifesto [[guy holding bible]] / isn't reading the bible the real slipper slope to polygamy?
polygamy | The Chalkboard Manifesto [[guy holding microphone]] / guy: if polygamy is good enough for moses, why isn't it good enough for america?
full of shit | The Chalkboard Manifesto guy: ugh, i'm so full of shit. / gal: everybody already knows that. / guy: no, literally. i ate too many dried peaches.
favorite fantasy author | The Chalkboard Manifesto pirate: is my favorite fantasy author george arrr r martin, or george r arrr martin?
fight on your home ground | The Chalkboard Manifesto guy: fight on your home ground. if you argue with a mathematician, don't bring up godel. use hume and sextus empiricus instead.
 
nolanized momma | The Chalkboard Manifesto l gal: yo mamma's so fat she developed type 2 diabetes. / r gal: that's not funny. / l gal: i rebooted yo mamma jokes so they're more gritty and realistic.
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tolstoy | The Chalkboard Manifesto tolstoy? more like dull-stoy! so, howzabout a date, sweet stuff? / for a jock, you are surprisingly good with puns.
shaky camera | The Chalkboard Manifesto is that dramamine? / yeah, i'm going to marathon "24."
hairy ball theorem | The Chalkboard Manifesto hairy ball theorem / it's a legit mathematical concept, but little did they know i was about to show them an overhead slide containing my scrotum.
 

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