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little caesars what are you in for? / i went into little caesars with a gun and told the cashier i was going to murder him. he said, "please don't kill me." so i said, "ok. now you owe me. how about a free pizza?" some people don't appreciate historical-based humor.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=539
insert your franchise here resistance, like being a cleveland browns fan, is futile.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=540
no instruction manual people don't come with instruction manuals. that's why to figure them out, you have to press their buttons.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=541
contradictory information giving out contradictory information is easy, but at the same time, it's also very difficult.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=542
moment of silence i know this is a long way off, but when michael cera dies, we'll have to hold an awkward moment of silence.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=543
 
family drama when it comes to family drama, i'm poland: always in the middle.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=544
stuffed nomenclature what's your bear's name? / bear. / who the fuck ever said that kids were creative?
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=545
cologne i don't need cologne; i have pheromones!
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=546
angry beavers you named your kids norbert and daggett? they're going to hate you! / and this is before they figure out they're named after cartoon characters.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=547
mixed signals only you would send me 364 unbirthday texts and then send me nothing on my birthday.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=548
 
big game of dress-up the way i see it, life is like a big game of dress-up. you wear different hats throughout your life, and then at the end, you die. okay, i lost that metaphor somewhere.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=549
free country as a kid, i remember retorting, "hey, it's a free country!" now i have to take off my shoes at the airport, and no one will prosecute torturers.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=550
living at home living at home after college is so weird... / clean bathrooms? / har har.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=551
boxing day in america boxing day? what, pray tell, is that? / why, it's the one magical day of the year when you frolic about the city and punch as many canadians as your little hands can.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=552
sociology major oh no, how come you quit sociology? / you know, it just wasn't for me. so i switched to mechanical engineering.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=553
 
you look cool you look cool... / it's not just the look; it's the lifestyle.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=554
happy new year happy arbitrary day marking one revolution around the sun!
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=555
over her dude i thought you were over her. / i am over her, but my ego's not over being rejected.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=556
dance like let's get drunk and dance like white people!
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=557
college musical chairs well, college musical chairs is just like regular musical chairs except everyone's drunk and you never actually take away any chairs.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=558
 
a relationship a relationship? my grandparents emigrated my communist russia so that i could be free! / you could say "no" like a normal person.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=559
yes i am that vain let me get this straight: you crashed your car because you were looking in the rearview mirror and you got lost in your own eyes.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=560
the ron moore of upn anthony anderson? no! i won't let them compromise my artistic vision. this is impossible. we tried, but i'm sorry, we have to shut this down. / sir, i know you said bernie mac was the perfect skipper, but you have to accept that he's dead. sir, what if... just what if we cast queen latifah instead? / bam!...
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=561
first to die terrible news, bro. remember our decrepit old high school principal? he totaled that janky fiero and died in the car crash. / oh no. / oh yeah! ties pays 8 to 1, bitches!
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=562
expected value some of us see the world in terms of expected value. we are very different from the rest of you.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=563
 
get some standards you slept with her? my god, you're like ie and netscape in the late 90s. be like the w3c and get some standards. / oh please, she had a very robust implementation of the colossal titties recommendation. should that suffice?
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=564
undie bomber so some incompetent lunatic toasted his underwear, and now i'm supposed to be afraid to fly? fuck that.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=565
too much house aw... did you get a boo boo? / it's autoimmune. put him on steroids.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=566
guantanamo fail great state of the union, right? / my favorite part was when he reminded us that he fulfilled his pledge to close guantanamo. / hah! i wish!
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=567
found godot hey, i found godot! he was hiding from your ugly face.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=568
 

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