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new car smell excuse me, the new car smell is for the car. do not spray it around the house. / better than that citrus breeze bullshit. what does that even mean?
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=479
straight to vhs you gotta see it! / okay, i'll wait for it to come out on vhs. / you know, vhs is gone. / well, i guess i'm saved from watching another shitty action-comedy movie that you recommended. and yes, my put-downs really do require all that elaborate setup.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=480
court bros judgement granted in favor of the plaintiff. for future reference, "bros before hos" is not a legitimate defense against a workplace gender discrimination suit.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=481
shay shay thank you. or should i say, shay shay. / confucius say: white guy who learn chinese from fortune cookie not allowed to speak.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=482
not quite living in the past do you tend to live in the past, present, or future? / actually, i think i live in the counterfactual.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=483
 
celebrity look-alike has anyone ever told you that you look like a homeless jack black? / um... thanks?
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=484
adventures in babysitting my goodness, you have a lot of energy. what did you eat for breakfast, little boy? / SUGAR!
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=485
the universe it alternates between joyously freeing and crushingly depressing. / what does? / that the universe has no meaning.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=486
pathetic You think you're pathetic? / I just spent an hour on Facebook looking at pictures of a cute girl I talked to for 5 minutes freshman year.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=487
pet peeve did you just slam the door behind you again? / uh... yes. / i'm sorry, but i don't think this relationship is going to work out.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=488
 
sweating cop cop: yesterday was so hot. i was sweating like a pig. / guy: i'll bet you were, officer.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=489
a thought about animals sometimes i wish i was an animal so i could stick more things in my mouth & not get sick. / this is not what i meant when i said we should share more.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=490
new hat check out my new hat! isn't it cool? / yeah, but your face is still ugly.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=491
7 long months [[Guy standing next to Christmas tree.]] / for 7 long months, we endured ridicule. but soon, the world will know the genius of... CHRISTMAS IN JULY!
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=492
phone shopping [[Girl holding a banana and guy holding a banana and a phone.]] / Girl: what the fuck kind of feature is interactiveodular?
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=493
 
birthday message you didn't even call me on my birthday. you left a facebook message. / yeah, but i used like 3 exclamation points. doesn't that mean i care more?
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=494
kids' art this is great! i'm going to put it on the refrigerator. / i'm not sure why it's culturally acceptable to lie to our kids about their artistic abilities.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=495
press info TV: "Mr. Monk Goes Home Again" Drama. Mystery/Crime. (2005) Tony Shalhoub, Ted Levine, Traylor Howard. Monk solves a murder. CC. Series. / Guy: wow, that was helpful.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=496
gypped Guy: you got ripped off. / Muscle Guy: hey! i find that offensive!
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=497
dream food i had a dream where i ate chocolate-covered pizza, and now i have indigestion.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=498
 
nine in the afternoon it's nine in the evening... your eyes are the size of a cheese ring... / it's nine in the night... your eyes are the size of a mite... / nope, i'm going to have to bend the space-time continuum for the sake of a rhyme.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=499
fighting focus why can't we ever fight about the issue at hand? why do you always have to bring other things into it? / wow, you have no idea how fights work, do you? you're so cute when you're clueless.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=500
9-11 truther pick-up line 9/11 truther pickup line: / let me do an inside job on you.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=501
providence better to rely on prudence than providence.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=502
project runway on lifetime i like project runway, but i'm not sure i'm secure enough in my sexuality to watch it on lifetime. / and yet you watched it on bravo. / but lifetime is for girls!
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=503
 
ninja vanish you're supposed to vanish into the night, not run away screaming: "NINJA!"
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=504
bible fact Little boy: whatever, mom. jesus never brushed his teeth. / BIBLE FACT: Jesus never brushed his teeth.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=505
medical research i don't care how many years you spent in med school; i spent 10 minutes researching this on the internet.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=506
when pigs fly no matter how many chickens she fucked, her piglets never had wings.
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=507
beautiful sky look how beautiful the sky is. it's so green!
http://chalkboardmanifesto.com/index.php?comicNum=508
 

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