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|Metronome (Bicycle Ride)||Dr Quickly: I have invented a metronome that beats in reverse!
/ Rabid: What good is that? It sounds kind of awful...
|Metronome (Poetastic)||Dr Quickly: I have invented a metronome that beats in reverse!
/ Rabid: What good is that? It sounds kind of awful...
|Picnic Failure (Boating)||Rabid: If only I'd known things would turn out so unexpectedly! / Rabish: Maybe next time you plan a picnic, you should make sure the parkland lozenge isn't going to be submerged for repair!! / Rabid: Since even the ferry station has been taken underwater, we'll have to sail for shore in the picnic...|
|Picnic Failure (salt)||Rabid: If only I'd known things would turn out so unexpectedly! / Rabid: Ants at a picnic is one thing -- but these innumerable SLUGS!! / Rabish: And the cold chicken isn't salted and you brought no salt. Which I mention also because of the relevance to the slugs. / Rabid: Well... fair enough. But I...|
|Lisa wants me to go shopping with her||Rabish: IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY, SUNNY, WARM, AND DELIGHTFUL! / Rabish: COME OUT FOR A WALK WITH ME IN THE WARM, DELICIOUS, ATMOSPHERIC CITY! / Rabid: LET GO OF ME YOU PIELIFTING HARLOT! I HAVE NO TIME FOR YOUR GAMES! / Rabid: I HAVE TO PARTICIPATE IN A VITAL AND ILLUMINATING EXPERIMENT! / Rabish:...|
|Actuary (inside)||Rabid: Excellent! My correspondence course is complete, and now I'm a certified actuary!! / [[Snakes and spiders come out of the envelope.]] / Rabid: What?! No!! Where's my certification?! The envelope--it even contains snakes? What are the odds?! / [[Slugs and centipedes come out of the envelope.]] / [[Rats...|
|Actuary (history)||Rabid: Excellent! My correspondence course is complete, and now I'm a certified actuary!! / Rabish: What did you have to do in order to obtain such a glamorous and begemmed diploma? / Rabid: Send lots of money, mostly. / Dr Quickly: You do know my experiment is bound to fail -- costing your agency millions!!...|
|Actuary (ring)||Rabid: Excellent! My correspondence course is complete, and now I'm a certified actuary!! / Rabid: With my ACTUARIAL POWER RING I can turn invisible at will!! / Rabid: My new-found super-strength will stop the dam's collapse!! / Dr Quickly: Where did he come from? / Rabish: He's amazing!! / Rabid: Oh!...|
|Catamaran (party)||Rabish: Are there any problems with the catamaran that we should know about before we buy it? / Salesmonster: Uh... no? / Rabid: I'm still not clear on what we're going to do there. / Rabish: You'll see!! / Rabish: The idea is we all sit around and drink... uh... / Dr Quickly: Beer. / Rabish: Beer! And...|
|Catamaran (fruit)||Rabish: Are there any problems with the catamaran that we should know about before we buy it?
/ Salesmonster: Uh... no? / Rabid: These are not our accustomed waters...
/ Rabish: Where is this new boat taking us? / Rabid: Weeks... months?
/ Rabish: Salt soup with rain-water chaser... / <
|Catamaran (cyphertext)||Rabish: Are there any problems with the catamaran that we should know about before we buy it? / Salesmonster: Uh... no? / Rabid: Good thing the lake was recently blessed!! / Ghost: IT BURNS!! / Ghost: Ghosts, being vapourous, evaporate into weighty solids. / Dr Quickly: "Dredged from the deep, a great...|
|Audit (Tube)||Rabid: Aw, CRAP! The Intestinal Revenue Service is going to audit me!! / Rabid: Good thing I always get a receipt from the Toilet Paper Printer. / Dr Quickly: Confidentially, I have an "outlet" that lets me funnel undeclared belly profits to an off-shore food haven. / Rabid: That's enormously disgusting!! / Dr...|
|Audit (Snitch)||Rabid: Aw, CRAP! The Intestinal Revenue Service is going to audit me!! / Space Frog: WHAT'S THIS A SECOND SET OF INTESTINES FOR OFF-THE-RECORD DIGESTION / Rabid: If I tell you who installed it, will you let me off easy? / Dr Quickly: You jerk!! You set me up!! You'll pay! You'll all pay!! / Rabid:...|
|Audit (Senses)||Rabid: Aw, CRAP! The Intestinal Revenue Service is going to audit me!! / Rabid: It's really stressful: none of my records are in any order and I even totally just forgot to file a couple years ago. / Dr Quickly: There! You've now officially declared internal bankruptcy. / Rabid: Oh! I felt it turn on....|
|Hands (access)||Rabid: GAH OH NO IT WAS A KITTEN WHEN I PICKED IT UP!! A CUTE LITTLE KITTEN AGGH / Space Frog: YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR / Rabid: Okay, FIRST of all, it was squid, not octopus. And secondly, it was breaded and fried. / Rabid: Wait, you're not a fairy princess at all! You're Space Frog!!...|
|Hands (seacrime)||Rabid: GAH OH NO IT WAS A KITTEN WHEN I PICKED IT UP!! A CUTE LITTLE KITTEN AGGH / Rabid: I actually HAD an umbrella but it turned into an octopus! / Dr Quickly: For everyone's good we are moving you to a new prison. / Rabid: I'm innocent and helpless! And no prison can hold me!! / Dr Quickly: The new...|
|Hands (filmstrip)||Rabid: GAH OH NO IT WAS A KITTEN WHEN I PICKED IT UP!! A CUTE LITTLE KITTEN AGGH / Dr Quickly: Hey, Rabid, I invented a strange new isomer of water which I have named ICE-NINE after the completely identical substance in that book everyone had to read in high school!! / Rabid: Never heard of it. Can I...|
|Bubblebath (HCHP)||Rabid: The bubbles!! Chemicals?! / Rabid: Rabish! I've been turned into a LADY by my bubble bath!! / Rabish: Are you sure?! / Rabid: Look, I have a closet packed full of shoes!! / Rabish: You have always had many shoes. / Rabid: Okay there is a fairly conclusive proof but it requires privacy and discretion. / Rabish:...|
|Bubblebath (decisions)||Rabid: The bubbles!! Chemicals?! / Rabid: Do you like my new gold tooth? And the tattooed arrow that points to it? I got the idea during a bubble bath!! / Rabish: How's the gold tooth working out? / Rabid: I bit a hard thing... / Rabid: But I got another great idea during a bubble bath: a fancy haircut!!...|
|Bubblebath (clean)||Rabid: The bubble!! Chemicals?! / Rabish: Rabid! What happened to you? / Rabid: That bubble bath you loaned me did something HORRIBLE!! / Dr Quickly: Oh, Rabid! I didn't smell you come in... / Rabish: That bubble bath solution you told me to force on him: what does it do?! / Rabid: I'm... CLEAN?! / Poop:...|
|Pielove (forms)||Noel: Oh I love my PIE!! / Dr Quickly: She must have stolen the pie.
/ Rabid: Yes! She is evil and it is such a big pie. / <
|Pielove (porks)||Noel: Oh, I love my pie!! / Dr Quickly: No, wait, I don't understand. I left the pie on the night table. Did the cleaning service throw it out? I left very clear instructions!! / Old Scientist: I'm afraid we must revoke your Award for Brilliant Science, as your "cure for ham" has gone missing and so...|
|Pielove (finger monsters)||Human: PSST, RABID, RABISH! COME OVER HERE, I GOTS TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING! / Rabid: What are these curious creatures? / Human: GOTCHA! / Rabid and Rabish: GASP! / Noel: OH, I LOVE MY PIE! / Rabid: EW.|
|Cliffside Distraction (elongation)||Rabid: Wh-huh? / Noel: HA ha ha! I have MIND CONTROLLED you into JUMPING!!
/ Rabid: But I stopped!! / Rabid: Guess I spoke too soon!! / <
|Cliffside Distraction (hallucination)||Rabid: Wh-huh? / Rabid: Oh, it is the note I wrote to convince people that my jumping off this building is in everyone's best interests. / Rabid: Huh? Oh, I forgot to get that special hat I must wear to make this occasion a dignified and solemn one. / Rabid: Here I... wait, is it really dinnertime...|
|Cliffside Distraction (xenofact)||Rabid: Wh-huh?! / Rabid: Hey, the apocalypse. I guess I don't need to jump after all. / Rabid: On clear days you can see the ruins of the city -- there!! The glow and char of a dead civilization. / L'il Rabid: If Mom and Dad found out I was running away to explore the ruins they'd tan my hide!!
|New Hat (poop joke)||Rabish: Do you like my new hat? / Rabish: It correctly predicts planetary motions! And it is a PERFECT representation of our own little planet!
/ Rabid: Fascinating! / Rabid: A bird is landing on it!
/ Rabish: How cute! / <
|New Hat (dryclean only)||Rabish: Do you like my new hat? / Rabid: It seems... insubstantial? Uh, but it's lovely--just lovely!! / Rabish: Isn't it? / Rabot: My sensors detect that it brings out the colour of your eyes, the hat does. / Rabot: Confidentially, my sensors do not detect a hat at all!! / Rabid: So it's not just me!...|
|New Hat (culinary)||Rabish: Do you like my new HAT?! / Rabid: You have earned the right to wear a toque?! / [[Rabish is reaching for the Baking Yeast Pouches but grabs a Gelatin Pack instead]] / Rabish: I shall bake bread! / Rabish: This bread is a miserable failure -- all toppings and spreads are shaken off by VIBRATIONS...|
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