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Scary Basement Noise (paint) Rabid: H-hello? Is there someone down here?! / Dr Quickly: I'm certainly not installing surveillance equipment for the government!! / Rabid: Ok! Have you seen the kitchen wall paint? / Dr Quickly: Uhh... hound lemon in modern emulsion, right? / Rabid: That's the one!! / Rabid: Won't you stay for some...
Scary Basement Noise (ji zhi guo tie) Rabid: H-hello? Is there someone down here? / <> / Rabid: Oh! A fresh pan of potstickers!! What a lovely surprise! / Rabid: While I'm eating them I'll just repair these old shoes lying nearby because it seems fair somehow. / Rabish: But our house doesn't HAVE a basement!! / Rabid: Oh yeah? Here's...
Scary Basement Noise (makeouts) Rabid: H-hello? Is there someone done here? / Rabish: Uh, hi. / Rabid: A MONSTER!! AAAAAUGH!! / Rabid: So the reason there is buttermilk in the fridge is that you bought it and we live together? / Rabish: Yes! You hate buttermilk!! / Rabid: Yeah, but maybe I was cooking with it. / Rabid: I think I am...
A divorce (terrible party) Space Frog: OKAY A DIVORCE YOU HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO GET A DIVORCE... / Rabid: Fine! / Noel: Pfft. / Rabish: I thought there would be food? / Dr Quickly: There's a buffet after. / Rabid: I do! / Rabish: Congratulations on the wedding -- I'm sorry about your divorce. / Rabid: We're still friends, just incompatible...
A Divorce (learning) Space Frog: OKAY A DIVORCE YOU HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO GET A DIVORCE / Rabid: Couldn't we divide our possessions by weight now that they're pulverized? / Noel: Stop talking, you're blowing it around. / Rabish: You're just going to live in a hotel now? / Rabid: Hopefully I can reconstitute that armoire...
 
A Divorce (reconcile) Space Frog: OKAY A DIVORCE YOU HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO GET A DIVORCE / Noel: So can I buy out your half of the divorce? I'm not going to use it for nefarious purposes!! / Rabid: Sure! Thanks for explaining again why we did that. / Noel: Now I just have to change the names... / Rabish: I don't understand......
Learning Zen (the first question) [[RABID AND FRIENDS (tm) DO LEARNING WITH COMICS!! (tm) WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ZEN PART ONE: THE FIRST QUESTION]] / Dr Quickly: Okay! You've waited outside for six weeks! But now you have to answer a TRULY DIFFICULT QUESTION with COMPLETE TRUTHFULNESS!! / Rabid: Okay! / Dr Quickly: WHO ARE YOU?!?! / Rabid:...
Learning Zen (wei wu wei) [[RABID AND FRIENDS(tm) DO LEARNING WITH COMICS!!(tm) WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ZEN PART TWO: MOTION IN STILLNESS]] / Paul Bunyan: Well folks've been tellin' me you went missing, Babe, so hold still and I'll climb on your back for a look around to find you. / Paul Bunyan: Well that looks like your hindquarters,...
Learning Zen (difficult questions) [[RABID AND FRIENDS DO LEARNING WITH COMICS WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH ZEN PART THREE: UNASK THE QUESTION]] / Dr Quickly: Now, my disciple! This most totally off-the-wall question is the final test!! / Rabid: I'm pumped! HIT ME!! / Dr Quickly: DOES A SPACE FROG HAVE THE BUDDHA NATURE?! / Rabid: Huh?! / Rabid:...
Frog Legs (hollow earth) Dr Quickly: It's a serious cooties infection... we'll have to amputate your legs. / Space Frog: MY WHAT / Dr Quickly: Seriously? / Dr Quickly: What the... ?! / Space Frog: HA HA HA HA HA LEGS
 
Frog Legs (tipping) Dr Quickly: It's a serious cooties infection... we'll have to amputate your legs. / Space Frog: SAY WHAT / Dr Quickly: All done! I made you a little diorama of your amputated legs so you can gaze at them wistfully. / Space Frog: OHHHH THIS SUCKS / Dr Quickly: OF COURSE cooties aren't real! I just needed...
Frog Legs (syrup) Dr Quickly: Cooties, dude. Chop chop. / Space Frog: DANG / Space Frog: FEELING DIZZY / Dr Quickly: Gosh it just keeps coming!! / Rabid: Wasn't it springtime just like a week ago? / Rabish: The grass is all crunchy. / Rabid: Wow! So much syrup for my synth-grain flatcakes! Your diner is the best!! / Dr...
Psychic Gift (shame) Masked Stranger: Winch trees strained powders oaf tot, ewe tan CAKE PEEPHOLES IN-PEAR-HOSED!! / Rabid: It's true! I can!! / <> / Rabish: Oh my gosh I'm totally naked!! / <> / Dr Quickly: My experiment is so dumb! I'll be the laughing stock of the science festival!! Just moments ago it seemed...
Psychic Gift (perfect expression) Mysterious Stranger: Gnaw toucan elks-breast ewer tea-sighers PEAR-FUNKY!! / Rabid: That's awesome!! / Barista: What can I get for you today? / <> / Rabid: Gosh, that's exactly what I wanted!! / Rabish: So what do you want to do today? / <http://nameremoved.com/comics/494/
Psychic Gift (fearless) Strange Sign: Know logger shell ewe no farrah ninny canned! / Rabid: Awesome! Look out adventure, here I come! / Noel: You dare try to stop my horrible crimes!! / Rabid: I sure do! When none else dare!! / Noel: Fool!! / Dr Quickly: Relentless courage, and such bravery in coming forward! With the ultracriminal...
 
Frog Innuendo (shed) Space Frog: OH YEAH GONNA CRAM A BIG ONE IN YOUR MOUTH / Dr Quickly: Yes, I am eating a large sandwich. / Space Frog: GOING DOWN ARE THE PEOPLE IN THIS ELEVATOR GOING DOWN / Dr Quickly: Yes, this elevator is descending. / Space Frog: HAVING FUN POUNDING ON YOUR ERECTION / Dr Quickly: It's a shed. / Space...
Frog Innuendo (workplace) Dr Quickly: I am sick of your innuendoing in the workplace! Be more serious!! / Space Frog: YES BOSS OKAY NOW I AM SERIOUS / Rabid: I guess you learned your lesson the HARD WAY when the boss CAME DOWN on you!! / Space Frog: SORRY I'M SERIOUS NOW / Space Frog: TOO SERIOUS FOR ALL THESE IMPORTANT WORK...
Frog Innuendo (agnosia) Dr Quickly: Your constant innuendo is completely INFURIATING!! / Space Frog: WHAT / Dr Quickly: Ew!! / Rabid: Maybe something's wrong with your brain! / Dr Quickly: That's disgusting! Not you too!! / Rabish: Well it was hard to find, but it's apparently symptomatic of a very specific form of neurological...
Open Mic (frog and bees) Dr Quickly: Okay folks! Going to try something different tonight... Welcome to the inaugural OPEN MIC night here at "Noel's Just Beans"!! First up, the magnificent SPACE FROG! / Space Frog: ACTUALLY MY STAGE NAME IS BUFO THE MAGNIFICENT HI I'M A WIZARD NOW LOOK AT THIS PERFECTLY NORMAL ORANGE / Space...
Open Mic (D) Dr Quickly: Alright! Welcome back to open mic night here at "Noel's Just Beans"! Hold on to your hats, because Noel and I are going to play a demonstration game of HIGH LEVEL CHESS!! / Noel: There is no way this is any fun for the audience. / Noel: CAN YOU ALL SEE THE BOARD NOW?! / Dr Quickly: I was...
 
Open Mic (flat beat) Dr Quickly: Okay folks! Two more exciting demonstrations of spectacular talent!! First up! Rabot has a MUSICAL ADVENTURE!! / Rabot: Just... just follow the instructions on the screen. And make sure the lights sync up with the samples. / Rabish: It's asking for a cd key to reactivate? / Dr Quickly: ...not...
Quickly Eats The Boss (undone) Rabid: What are you doing? That's our world president!! / Dr Quickly: Who is? What?! / Dr Quickly: With the power vested in me by cannibalistic transitivity... I am pardoned!! / Space Frog: AN INELUCTABLE DECLARATION OF LAWFUL FACT / Dr Quickly: Greetings, scions of industry and great minds of the world....
Quickly Eats The Boss (quaint) Rabid: German! What have you done to the Dean?! / Dr Quickly: He thought he could expel me... well I'm going to expel him!! / Dr Quickly: It's a little-known rule that if the dean is brutally murdered, all students immediately graduate with a 4.0 grade point average. / Rabid: I certainly did not know...
Quickly Eats The Boss (investigation) Rabid: Stop the pie line! There's been a terrible accident!! / Dr Quickly: Huh? / Rabot: Signs of a struggle, looks like it happened last night... but none of the footprints match Dr Quickly's. Only two pairs... very similar. / Rabot: Rabish already took payment on his life insurance?! / Noel: She said...
Frustrating Device (lovebot) Rabot: STOP FOLLOWING ME!! / Lovebot: But I love you!! / Rabot: I said leave me alone!! / <> / Lovebot: Oww! / <> / Rabot: I'm so sorry I'm sorry
 
Frustrating Device (secret lens) Rabot: I can't believe I forgot my wallet, I got all the way to the coffee shop and I didn't even notice that I forgot it until I was paying for my order. The only reason I even left the house was to get coffee. No, I need to be honest with myself. I only left the house to chat with the cute barista....
Frustrating Device (transitivity) Rabot: Oh come on, just heat up my soup!! How hard could it be?! / Rabot: Dr Quickly, your microwave isn't working. Doctor? / Rabot: So then maybe if I set this thing to... "bland"... / Dr Quickly: Please stop playing with it. / Rabot: Hee hee! / Rabot: Okay, now to make my soup... BORING and LAME! / Dr...
Space Watch (froglife) Space Frog: OH NO MY SPACE WATCH IS SPACE BROKEN / Space Frog: AND THAT IS WHY I AM LATE NOW / Rabish: Well the movie already started, so let's skip ahead to dinner. / Space Frog: WHOOPS I SPACE FORGOT MY SPACE WALLET / Space Frog: I ALSO SPACE FORGOT MY SPACE CONTRACEPTIVES / Rabish: Oh, you thought...
Space Watch (letterman) Space Frog: OH NO MY SPACE WATCH IS SPACE BROKEN / Rabid: Phew! That had to be a world record. How was my time? / Space Frog: UH GOOD YOUR TIME WAS JUST FINE / Rabid: That does it! You're fired!! And I quit!! / Space Frog: GASP NO / Dr Quickly: But you're our top athlete and the varsity match is in two...
Space Watch (timepiece) Space Frog: LOOK MY SPACE WATCH CAN TELL TIME EVEN WHEN IT IS UPSIDE DOWN / Rabid: Not very well: it's only 2:30 and your watch says it's eight. / Space Frog: PLEASE FIX IT CAN YOU FIX IT / Dr Quickly: Probably. / Space Frog: HOW ABOUT NOW HUH / Rabid: "Hog"? Is that even a time?! / Space Frog: I AM...
 

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