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Classic Transmitter: Tube Villian [[Devil cries out in delight to find a pipe sticking out of the ground.]] / [[The wide opening of the pipe allows a strange brown sausage creature to ease up into the cool night air. Devil leans forward to whisper something strange.]] / [[Pleased that the sausage creature has joined him outside, Devil...
Treebot [[Rabot stands in front of a bonfire, waving a sheaf of papers precariously.]] / Rabot: BZZT! I'M A MALFUNCTIONING PRIMA DONNA! CAPITAL!! / <> / Rabot: HAW HAW / Dr Quickly: My files! What nerve! / Rabot: Ouch! / [[Rabot's head flies off.]] / <> / Dr Quickly: HA! / [[Dr Quickly catches Rabot's...
Sting Operation Rabid: I am having trouble chewing this corn! I need a... MASTICATION AID! I'll go obtain myself some CORNOGRAPHY! / Rabid: BAH! My own extensive collection seems overused and boring! Will must to the NEWS-STAND!! / < / Space Frog: SNUH! / Rabid: Space Frog, you old rascal! / [[Space Frog licks...
Crankypants Rabid: Ugh -- this is really disappointing... how can I make this bland pasta dish taste better? / From Above: BUTTER!! / <> / Rabid: Yi! / Dr Quickly: Eh heh heh! / Rabid: Leaping lecterns! Knock it off, Doc!! / Dr Quickly: I was merely trying to help! / Rabid: Yeah, well, with help like yours,...
Classic Transmitter: Special Delivery / Winding {{title-text: Special Delivery}} / [[Devil finds a transmitter.]] / [[Devil hoists it into the air and says some things about it. The transmitter glows.]] / [[Eager to enjoy the show, Devil throws the transmitter onto the ground.]] / [[Devil sits by the transmitter, relaxing in the radiation.]] / [[An...
 
Eat Slower Rabid: I sure like chicken fingers! / Rabish: Oh yeah? Well I LOVE them! / Rabid: Why do you always DO that? / Rabish: Do what? / Rabid: When I say something and then YOU say something and then it PISSES ME OFF!! / Rabish: ... / Rabish: What? / Rabid: Oh... ugh... nevermind. Let's go get some... ICE...
But I don't FEEL special! [[Dr Quickly's upper half is on the floor a few feet away from his lower half. Blood everywhere. The lower half of his torso squirts huge gouts of blood.]] / Dr Quickly: Oh dear! I seem to have stepped too close to the 'device'!! / Rabid: Hey Doc! What's up? / Dr Quickly: Get away from me, Rabid! / Rabid:...
Inedible Performance Rabish: What are you watching? / The Television: AND THE CROWD GOES WILD FOR ANTI-CHEF GERALD'S INEDIBLE PERFORMANCE! / Rabid: The semipro antifood cookoffs. How did this get so popular? / Rabish: And how is it that there are actual PROFESSIONAL anti-chefs?! / Rabid: Yeah! / Noel Mauvais: My fellow collaborators...
Chiisu ku akai bakemono ha shiyou ni katsuta Rabid: So, I've enrolled in a topiary course... / Rabish: Oh! So, soon you will make some for your yard? / Rabid: Well... no. I am going to, thanks to my small size and deft reflexes, be a plant jockey at the racing arena upspin near the docks. / [[Rabid rides a plant.]] / Rabid: Hi ho! / [[Rabid is...
Crashed My Car In Psychic Germany [[Rabid discovers a curiously browned Rabot.]] / Rabid: Hey, doc! What's up with Rabot? / Dr Quickly: Hm? Nothing that I'm aware of... let's investigate! / [[Dr Quickly uses a "Science Fork" to poke the robot.]] / Dr Quickly: He's all CRISPY and WARM! ... he's ... made out of PASTRY!! / Dr Quickly:...
 
Empty your fridge Dr Quickly: Egads! I had best prepare my dinner! But -- what should I have? I'll check ... the REFRIGERATRON! / Dr Quickly: SPEAK, REFRIGERATRON, AND TELL ME WHAT DELIGHTS LIE WITHIN YOU!! / Refrigeratron: I CONTAIN... / Refrigeratron: ONLY FROGS! / Dr Quickly: Egads! What on earth did I do with my food,...
Classic Transmitter: Birdbrained and birdmouthed [[Devil kisses the air.]] / [[Devil's lips extend, glowing, into a factory.]] / [[The lips grow and grow.]] / [[The tower of the factory stands solidly while Devil says something or other.]] / [[The tip of the tower swings down.]] / [[The tower knocks off Devil's head.]] / [[Devil, now the factory,...
Lunchmas is the least important meal Rabot: I can ruin your breakfast! / Rabid: Hefty. / Rabot: WELL I'M NOT KIDDING, BOYO!! / Rabot: I have installed POWERFUL ANTI-BREAKFAST RAYS in my head-mounted shutterlamps. / Rabid: Jeez! Well don't use them! Okay?! / Rabot: NO! YES! BREAKFAST IS EVIL! I SHALL DESTROY! / <> <> / Dr Quickly:...
Given the choice to kill or be killed Rabid: I am SO HUNGRY I could KILL & EAT A DONUT!! / Rabish: Don't be ridiculous! Donuts are already dead! / Rabid: WHAT? That's GROSS. / Rabish: Well it's pretty much accurate since they're just fat and starch and sugar. / Rabid: So are donut factories unholy GHOST HANGOUTS? / Rabish: Sure -- you ever...
Testing Jimothy {{title-text: Part One}} / Jimothy: How much water do you need to survive? / Beard Guy: Well, for how long? / Jimothy: For the next six minutes! / Beard Guy: Gosh, I could probably get by just with the water I've got on me. / Jimothy: ARE YOU SURE? / Beard Guy: You are being ominous, but... 5 NINES. / Jimothy:...
 
All aboard the sponsor-ship! / Something about lying {{title-text: All aboard the sponsor-ship!}} / Rabid: Oh baNAna, am I HUNGRY!! / Rabid: I seem to recall that there is no food in the house, though... / Rabid: Maybe I can make something to eat out of common household items! Oh boy! I'll call the Doctor over and we can invent stuff! / <> / Dr...
Adventures of the Heart Patrol Rabid: How can I tell Rabish how much I like her? I know! I'll look it up in the library! / Rabid: How interesting! This newspaper article I didn't bother reading all the way through says Dr Quickly made some sort of device that JUST MIGHT DO THE TRICK! / Rabid: Ha ha! I found it, in storage! A high-powered...
Piecake vs. cakepie Rabish: What tasty food you have prepared for us! / Rabid: Wait until you taste the DESSERT!! / Rabish: Oh? What tasty food have you prepared for us? / Rabid: Doctor? / Dr Quickly: Yes, thank you; Rabish, your approximately round-headed friend and I have been working on something QUITE SPECIAL. / Dr Quickly:...
Transference is a lie Rabid: GRRR! I'm so ANGRY!! / Rabid: I will release my stress by punching this pillow... / <> / Rabish: That's really stupid; does doing that help you feel better at all? Violence begets violence... / Rabish: "Through violence you may murder the liar but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish...
Setting Records Rabish: No no no don't ask me "What does the new record you bought sound like?" no! I'd be forced to answer and reply: "Oh, jeez, wow... it... what DOESN'T it sound like?"! / Dr Quickly: WHAT AN INTERESTING QUESTION I REFUSE TO TAKE RHETORICALLY!! / Rabid: GAH! He must have us bugged! / Rabish: And...
 
Setting Records Part Two Dr Quickly: You think I'm so cerebrally-minded as to be unable to conjure an aesthetic appreciation or recognize th'same in others? Pfaugh! But -- what is pleasure? So transitory, and so particularily that in music! ... what is it without an intellectualization of the context? A crystal! It could be...
Evil Is Sublime [[Rabid and Dr Quickly watch television.]] / <> / <> / Rabid: Why do trolls and other evil creatures fear the night [sic: should be "sun"] so? / Dr Quickly: They are mostly water! / Rabid: Aren't we, too? / Dr Quickly: Yes, but whereas we are liquid...
Butterfly's Dream Rabish: What happens if you don't try very hard, or not hard enough? / [[Rabid pushes an elevator call button.]] / Rabid: To do this? It requires effort? / Rabid: Oh... oh hey... this button... is not... hey! ARRGH! HEY!! / Rabish: At least the elevator has arrived regardless. / Rabid: I guess... / [[The...
The cafe in question Rabid: That'll teach you bastards my ice cream son of a bitching only wanted a little ruiners of all ARRRRGH!!! / Space Frog: HEY "LITTLE BUDDY" IT SURE SOUNDS AS THOUGH THERE IS SOMETHING UP THAT HAS GOT YOU DOWN... IF YOU TALK ABOUT IT, YOU MIGHT FEEL BETTER, "LITTLE BUDDY" / Rabid: I went to a very...
Classic Transmitter: From Out Of The Past... {{title-text: Main Comic}} / [[A long-headed fellow has some cards he thinks are useless.]] / [[A masked man comes by, and is menaced by a magnet.]] / [[The long-headed fellow tackles the masked man.]] / [[The mask comes off -- it was his entire head!]] / [[The long-headed fellow is happy now. The...
 
Paging Doctor Walter Freeman Rabid: I really want a... hot dog! Do you sell hot dogs? / <> / Clerk: YOU! EATER OF THINGS! YOU I DENY!! I YOU DENY!! / Clerk: I'VE GOT IMPLEMENTS WITH "WITCH" I'LL FIX FOR GOOD YER WAGOON!! A SHIVVY SCREWDRIVER, IS LIKE! YEW PISSY HANDBASKET! I'LL CONCEIVE OF GRISLIED DEMISIONS! / Rabid:...
Fur Parade Rabid: Look how fancy I am! / Rabish: Eugh! Ick! What did you do?! / Rabid: Why I had my head and mittenpaws docked! / Rabid: And a FUR TRIM! / Rabish: It... it's HIDEOUS!! / Rabid: But... but the people at the beauty parlour said it would -- and DID -- make me GORGEOUS!! / Rabish: It REALLY REALLY DIDN'T....
Seasonal Pastimes: Winter Rabid: It is a cold and desolate winter! / Rabish: Yeah -- that is an observable fact. How can we pass the time? / Rabid: With a seasonally appropriate game! / Rabid: As a first example, we could play the game "Hibernate", where we nuzzle, warm and waiting it out in torpid trance until weather changes...
Seasonal Pastimes: Summer Rabid: It is an endlessly hot summer! / Rabish: Yeah -- that is an observable fact. How can we pass the time? / Rabid: With a seasonally appropriate game! / Rabid: As a first example, we could play the game "Water Balloon Fight", where we threaten & ultimately attack each other with thin skins of water....
Classic Transmitter: More Recollections {{title-text: Suitcase Frenzy}} / [[Devil has a suitcase and he shows it off.]] / [[Devil opens the suitcase.]] / [[Devil wears the suitcase. Boy laughs.]] / {{title-text: The Cat's Water}} / [[Rabid is happy!]] / [[Dr Quickly is skinny.]] / [[Rabid wants to show Rabish something.]] / [[Rabish...
 

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