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Bees In There (In The Burrito Hive) [[ A beautiful day, the sun shining on Doctor Quickly's Burrito Hive. ]] / Rabish: Oh! Let's get burritos! / Rabid: Maybe it's been reviewed!! / [[ Two one-star reviews on yelp. ]] / Rabot: Don't go in there. There are bees inside. Only go in if you don't mind bees. Ugh. / Noel: This review will probably...
Nothing but Space Frog (pangloss) Space Frog: WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THIS THE BEST OF ALL POSSIBLE WORLDS / [[ Space Frog comes across a Free Hot Dogs booth. ]] / Space Frog: JUST THE THING I'LL TAKE TEN / Chef Frog: ONLY TEN WHY / Space Frog: AT THE OTHER END OF THE PARK IS FREE CAKE AND I WANT CAKE TOO / Space Frog: DOCTOR SPACE...
Nothing But Space Frog (on TV) Rabish: What's on TV? / Announcer: Previously, on... FROGS / Space Frog: HEY EVERYBODY LOOK I FOUND A HATCH / << CHEEP CHEEP >> / Space Frog: THE OTHERS TOLD THE HOSTILES THAT THE NUMBERS ON THE HATCH ON THE ISLAND MADE THE MONSTER THE ANGRIEST / Space Frog: THE OKAY / Space Frog: CAN WE STOP HIKING...
Nothing But Space Frog (in Pellucidar) [[ I hold a copy of Edgar Rice Burroughs' "Pellucidar". A drawing of Rabid petting Space Frog is on the recto.]] / Book: His head as he paced beside me was level with my hip. I laid my hand upon it caressingly. As I did so he turned and looked up into my face, his jaws parting and his red tongue lolling...
Violent Video Games (played wrong) Dr Quickly: Playing violent video games, eh? / Noel: Kind of! / Noel: I'm playing non-violently, just exploring and stuff. / Noel: By defeating the design intentions of the experience I get a more interesting, unanticipated response from the system. / Dr Quickly: That's neat, I guess. Well, here's...
 
Violent Video Games (at Customs) Customs Agent: And what do you do... for fun? / Rabid: I, heh, write fan fiction. / Rabish: I volunteer at shelters! / Dr Quickly: I invent inventions! / Noel: I, uh, um... play violent video games. / Customs Agent: Here are your papers, enjoy your stay! / [[ Mugshots follow. ]] / Rabid: CONFESSED...
Violent Video Games (a topic of conversation) Rabid: They're getting more mainstream -- it's just a matter of time. / Noel: I guess so. / Noel: But you look at, like, sports -- it's assumed you have a favourite team you want to talk about... / Rabid: Not everybody watches the same TV shows... / Rabid: ... and not everyone follows current events!...
Rabid, trapped in an empty void (no one notices) Rabid: uggh... / Rabid: W-where am I?! / Rabid: Whoa, nutty. / Rabid: Going around in circles? Who knows! I might as well be on a treadmill! / Rabish: Hey, Doc, have you seen Rabid lately? / Dr Quickly: Eh? Nope. / Rabid: Wonder if I'll start hallucinating from sensory deprivation! / Rabid: I WISH...
Rabid, trapped in an empty void (amusing himself) [[ Rabid makes a number of funny faces. ]] / Rabid: Whoops.
Rabid, trapped in an empty void (but not alone) Rabish: Have you seen Rabid lately? / Dr Quickly: Eh? Nope. / Rabid: Wait - why is the light on in my thinking box? / Rabish: Your what? / Dr Quickly: It's -- well, it builds a high-speed pocket universe, sort of an amazingly powerful computer, and I can go in it when I need lots of time and math to...
 
Rabish's Gift (of ventriloquism?) Rabish: Y-you can talk?! / Blender: Yup. / Rabish: I gotta show Doctor Quickly! / Blender: That's a good idea. / Dr Quickly: A talking blender? Hogwash! I demand empirical proof! / Blender: HEY! I'M A TALKING BLENDER! CHECK ME OUT! I'VE GOT REAL GOOD AT VENTRILOQUISM FROM PRACTICING SO MUCH ALWAYS NOW!! / Rabish:...
Rabish's Gift (committed) [[ At Space Frog Memorial Home for the Lunatic ]] / Rabid: Look -- Dr Quickly made an "insaneometer" so we can finally get you out of here. / Insaneometer: TOTALLY NUTSO -- A COMPLETE LUNATIC / Rabid: That's so weird! The little readout says "completely sane"!
Rabish's Gift (Dr Quickly's Reward) Rabish: Oh golly, I am SO stressed out! / Rabid: Hey, lady! What's buggin' you? / Rabish: Ah! A t-talking... discarded newspaper! / Rabish: Oh thank goodness. / Dr Quickly: Stress-induced hallucination? That's going to take a number of expensive therapy sessions. / Rabish: O-okay. / Dr Quickly: Here's...
Botched Home Brewing (in the land of spirits) Rabid: Wow! You MADE this! That's so cool! / Rabid: GLK! / Dr Quickly: I GUESS it might be a little strong. / [[ Meanwhile, in the SPIRIT WORLD ]] / Ghost: Master! A great injustice! A crime! / King Spirit: DOCTOR QUICKLY HAS BROKEN THE COVENANT BETWEEN OUR WORLDS WITH HIS GROTESQUE MOONSHINE!! HE...
Botched Home Brewing (of spells) Rabid: Yecch! You're brewing up spells again, aren't you! / Dr Quickly: For your information, I've finally solved magic and made a POTION. / Rabid: But last week you said magic was bogus and impossible! / Dr Quickly: That's why it was so hard! / Dr Quickly: Now here, drink this. / Rabish: I know,...
 
Botched Home Brewing (no regrets) Rabid: Hey doc! How's the home brewing? Is it ready to try? / Rabid: Oh my goodness! / Rabid: You've spilled so much of it!! / Rabish: You started without me?!
Hated New Character (S.C. Quickly) Dr Quickly: So I'm loading everything into the rental truck we had to get because our own just broke down... / Dr Quickly: when I realized the kebabs weren't precooked and we're not bringing anything hot enough. / Dr Quickly: Rabid stays behind to cook them, and bring them with the second load (the...
Hated New Character (the Political Cartoonist) Rabid: Darn you, Space Frog! You'll pay for this, jerk! / Space Frog: HA HA / Space Frog: WHAT A GREAT PRANK / Rabid: RAAAA / Cartoonist: Gasp! Perfect! / Rabid: Huh? / Space Frog: WHAT / [[ Cartoonist puts a sign that says "LOCAL BUSINESS OWNER" on Rabid, a sign that says "EXTRASOLAR TAXATION" on Space...
Hated New Character (a "mary sue") Dr Quickly as Dumbledore: My dear friends, we have a new student today! Let us welcome her into her new life at Hogwarts! / Sorting Hat: Harry Potter's Girlfriend! / Rabid as Harry Potter: Cripes! These monsters are more powerful than me! / Mary Sue: Don't worry -- I know secret super-magic!! / Rabid:...
Complicated Cellphone (ID4) Noel: Ugh! Don't CALL him, you useless piece of infuriating CRAP! / Dr Quickly: Noel! Hey! I need to borrow your phone! / Dr Quickly: There! I'm using it to upload a virus into th'alien mothership's intranet! / Dr Quickly: Here you go! Thanks a bunch.
 
Complicated Cellphone (there's an app for that) Noel: You're lost? Well! / Rabid: That thing's got maps? / Noel: Okay -- so we're here... / Noel: And you're trying to get to Quickly's Coffee Gourd? / Rabot: ... the fu... / Rabish: There you are! / << WHUD >> / Rabid: Sorry I'm late -- I got lost! / Noel: Mister? Where'd you go?
Complicated Cellphone (on vibrate) Dr Quickly: CALL NOEL! / Noel: Who's fragging who NOW, dicknuts? / << bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt >> / << bzzt bzzt bzzt >> / << bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt bzzt >> / Noel: Whoa, fifteen new messages? / Rabid: Some sort of dimensional rift opened up and swallowed him and he said to call you and I don't know...
Rabish's Fortune (a fortune) Rabish: Will I ever find true love? / Noel: HA HA HA HA ha ha ha ha... oh, my dear, that is NOT why YOU'RE here. / Rabish: Good, good -- so, why? / Noel: Get out your pen and paper. / Dr Quickly: Rabish, do you even know how the stock market WORKS? These trades make NO SENSE. / Dr Quickly: I can't,...
Rabish's Fortune (in the great outdoors) Rabish: Will I ever find true love? / [[ Noel blushes. ]] / Noel: U-uh, yeah... while camping. / Rabish: Ooooh! / Rabid: Have a good time! / Rabish: I WILL! / Rabish: I didn't find true love, but... / Rabish: I grew as a person from the experience, so thanks! / Noel: sigh
Rabish's Fortune (no regrets) Rabish: Will I ever find true love? / Noel: Pff, I guess. I mean, YOU'D be happy with it. / Rabish: WHAT! / Rabid: You didn't hear what you wanted? / Rabish: No, this is my first "singles cruise" / Rabish: Oh, this room's my office! / Rabish: It's only the first dozen years of your conscious life! / Rabish...
 
Everybody's Pie (and it sounds GOOD) Dr Quickly: A votre sante, Rabid, for you have become a delicious osso bucco pie. / Dr Quickly: Oh, Rabish! A lentil dal shepherd's pie! / Dr Quickly: Mmm, Space Frog -- so green and cheesy as a deep dish pesto pizza pie! / Dr Quickly: Noel, is it time for dessert? You are quite delectable cherry...
Everybody's Pie (for a while) Rabid: The bank's foreclosing on us! / Dr Quickly: Not to worry! / Dr Quickly: This device I invented will turn everyone on to pies! / Rabid: We'll be rich! / Airplane Captain: This is your captain speaking. Desperonto air control has gone silent, so we're being diverted to Monstreal. That's all I know. / <<...
Everybody's Pie (for the mill) Suzie: Mmm, Mr Quickly, you make the BEST pies. / Dr Quickly: Well thank you, Suzie! Did you know they're METAPHORS? / Suzie: Gosh! / Dr Quickly: They used to be monsters like us, in a narrative framework. / Dr Quickly: But I turned them into symbols because comics are for LOSERS and EVERYBODY loves...
Rabot and Tulip (Rabot hears a Who) Rabot: My sensors detect miniscule life-forms upon this flower! / Rabot: I know you're real!! / [[ But there are gross little bug things on it. ]] / Rabot: EW!! / << toss! >> / Dr Quickly: You were in the shower for ages -- what's wrong? / Rabot: GASP! / Dr Quickly: Rabot? / [[ There are gross little...
Rabot and Tulip (vs. the arts) Rabot: What a beautiful flower! / Rabot: it has inspired me to create ART!! / [[ PLEIN-AIR PAINTING ]] / [[ DANCE ]] / [[ POETRY ]] / Rabot: I think that no-one ever drew up / a flower lovely as a tulip. / [[ CONCEPTUAL HAPPENING ]] / Dr Quickly: Honey, I'm homeaaAUGH!! / [[ SCULPTURE ]] / Rabish:...
 

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