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About The Beatles Vampire Boy: HI THERE ZOMBIE BOY! / Zombie Boy: HI THERE VAMPIRE BOY! ... WHAT'S GOING ON? / Vampire Boy: I WAS SITTING IN WOLFBOY'S SEAT AND NOW I'M ALL ITCHY! / Zombie Boy: WELL HE'S GOT LICE, YOU KNOW. HEY, THIS IS LIKE THAT BEATLES SONG! / Vampire Boy: HUH?! / Zombie Boy: "ONCE YOU'RE IN HIS ARMCHAIR YOU CAN FEEL HIS DISEASE" / Vampire Boy: "UH... THAT'S NOT..."
http://nameremoved.com/extra/oldcomics/beatles/
Customary Agent Rabid: Travel's TRICKY these days. / Customs Agent: Well, you are a very observant person to NOTICE that. / Customs Agent: But, regardless, you must present satisfactory identification in order to pass through this security checkpoint. / Rabid: Well, I have a driver's license, and a birth certificate, and a health card, and a passport, and a signet ring, and mail I received with a recent postmark... / Rabid: Also, I have a bank card, a credit card, a deposit record book, a debit chit, certificate of legal residence, a library card, a video rental card... / Customs Agent: NONE of those suffice, not singly nor in complement. / Rabid: Well then what can I do? / Customs Agent: Well, do you EXIST? / Rabid: I... yes! Of course!! / Customs Agent: Then you may pass -- we are only concerned with and about IMAGINARY threats. / Customs Agent: NEXT, please! / Rabid: Grrr... / Customs Agent: Next? Hello? ... Who's there? / Customs Agent: Is there anyone there? At all? HELLO? ... Next! Next?! / Customs Agent: ALRIGHT BOYS I THINK WE'VE GOT ONE!!!
http://nameremoved.com/extra/oldcomics/customary/
The Dinner Party Dr Quickly: I'm DISPLEASED with this placement. / Rabid: The DINNER PARTY is in mere MINUTES. Dear Doctor! How can WE rearrange in TIME to suit your TASTES? / Dr Quickly: There should be SOME fast determination of OPTIMAL SEATING... / <> / Rabid: Someone at the door? ALREADY?! / Salesman: HELLO!! I AM A TRAVELLING SALSEMAN!! / Rabid: What do you SELL? And make it snappy, we're EXPECTING guests... / Salesman: GUESTS, EH?! I'LL BRIEFEN MY SPIEL!! I SELL SOLVENTS AND SOLUTIONS FOR INTRACTABLE DIFFICULTIES!! / Rabid: Oh REALLY? Come IN, come IN! / Salesman: THANKYOU!! OH! A DIFFICULT TABLE SETTING! WHAT AN EXCELLENT OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO DEMONSTRATE MY WARES!! ... This puts me in mind of a similar problem I encountered in a dining hall for philosophers... / Salesman: I'LL JUST SWAP THESE... AND SORT THESE... / Dr Quickly: HOLD, YOU! Rabid, what CHARLATAN is this YOU'VE invited to DESPOIL MY SETTING? / Dr Quickly: Wait a second... you've SOLVED the table setting problem... I was GOING TO have to sort it out myself! THANKYOU! How CAN I ever repay you?! / Salesman: IT WAS NOTHING! BUT TO REPAY ME, YES... COULD YOU TELL ME THE FASTEST WAY TO VISIT ALL THE REST OF THE HOUSES IN YOUR NEIGHBOURHOOD? / Salesman and Dr Quickly: HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! HA HA! HA HA HA!! HA HA HA! / Rabid: I don't get it...
http://nameremoved.com/extra/oldcomics/dinner/
Economy Space Frog: I hate to INTERRUPT you two, but I have a FEW COMMENTS that you MIGHT find germane on the very TOPIC AT HAND! / Space Frog: Honk HONK honk honk honk honk honk HONK HONK honk honk honk honk HONK honk HONK HONK honk honk... HONK!!!
http://nameremoved.com/extra/oldcomics/economy/
Eh Dr Quickly: Hey, who wants some sauce? / Rabid: Hm! / <> / [[Warning: This comic is rated EH for Explicit Hierarchies]] / Dr Quickly: Ah! So XXXXXX is the ancestor of XXXXXX! / Space Frog: You think that's something? You can fit a whole XXXXXXX into a XXXXXXXX and it won't even try to XXXXX!
http://nameremoved.com/extra/oldcomics/eh/
Sinister Exaggerator Rabid: I feel kind of woozy & ill. / Rabish: Woah, so do I. / Rabid: There must be something in the air. / Rabish: How sinister! / Dr Quickly: Oh no! Our chirality has become incompatible with this universe! / [[Dr Quickly leads the group to a transdimensional portal.]] Dr Quickly: Quickly, my friends! You don't want to be left behind! / [[Rabid and Rabish are... inverted.]] / Rabid: As adroit as your dimensional transport was, I am not sure it was set up correctly. / [[Dr Quickly's head is a slice of pizza.]] / Dr Quickly: I'm afraid you're right!
http://nameremoved.com/extra/oldcomics/exag/
Huckle Huckle Cactus: HUCKLE HUCKLE HUCKLE / Rabid: Shut up shut up SHUT UP! / Rabid: No one wants to hear you saying that FILTHY WORD! / Huckle Cactus: Hhhuuhh... hhhuhhh... / Huckle Cactus: HUCKLE!! / Rabid: FINE! But I'm LEAVING!
http://nameremoved.com/extra/oldcomics/huckle/
The, or A, Danger of Over-Interpretation Rabid: There is a fabulous legend about monsters in a cave! And treasure! / Rabish: Oooh! / Rabish: This part about climbing down a rope for three days is not "fabulous" per se. / Rabid: Sure! "Like in a fable", see? / [[Teatime!]] / Rabish: Oh! A little naked bat is in the teakettle / Bat: I HAVE NEVER DRUNK TEA BEFORE NOW / Rabid: The fabulous treasure is found! / Rabish: Many kinds of spoonds each one specialized for a particular use! / Rabid: My favourite is the "soup-loop spoon"! It is also a functional valveless horn! / Rabish: Mine is the "exciting ice cream spoon"! / Rabish: It holds the ice cream in a bowl and has a secondary spoon operated with the thumb! / Rabish: This has been a beautiful rich and rewarding experiecne -- but what about the fabulous monsters? / Rabid: Well... / Rabid: It is important to not take fables too literally. The real treasure we found was the good time we shared, the monsters the challenges we faced and overcame. / Many-eyed Monster: MY PRECIOUS SPOONS! I'LL "MONOMYTH" YOU, AL-RIGHT -- TO DEATH! / Rabid: ACK!
http://nameremoved.com/extra/oldcomics/interp/
OOT Rabid: Oh, really subtle. / Oot Bottle: ? / Rabid: Sure pretend like you're not... GOD! YOU BOTHER ME! / Oot Bottle: What have I done to deserve this abuse? / Rabid: Nothing really. / Rabid: You're just a big bottle of OOT!
http://nameremoved.com/extra/oldcomics/oot/
Sinister Forces Noel Mauvais: SINISTER FORCES! / Dr Quickly: YOUR REIGN OF TERROR CANNOT LAST! / Noel Mauvais: Uhh... why? / [[Dr Quickly smashes Noel's head with a huge hammer.]] / Dr Quickly: HA! / <> / Noel Mauvais: OW!
http://nameremoved.com/extra/oldcomics/sinister/
Li'l Zeno Zeno's Mom: Li'l Zeno! Dinnertime! / Li'l Zeno: Coming, mom! / [[Li'l Zeno is motionless.]] / Li'l Zeno: Oh no! I can't move! I'll miss dinner! / Zeno's Mom: I told you not to hang around that awful Parmenides boy!
http://nameremoved.com/extra/oldcomics/zeno/
They mean well... [[Rabid is lying on his belly in the grass out in a field. A baby bird is lying on its back, crying out.]] / Bird: peep peep / Rabid: How unfortunate! A wounded baby bird! I will take it to the Doctor, for surely HE will be able to help the poor thing. / [[On his way to Dr Quickly to find help for the baby bird, Rabid encounters Rabish.]] / Rabish: Rabid! You shouldn't be touching it, directly -- the mama bird will smell you and reject the little critter! / Rabid: Not at all, my dear, for birds have a very limited sense of smell! / Rabish: Oh. / [[Although Rabid is strictly correct, he is in his excitement waving the baby bird around quite dangerously.]] / [[Dr Quickly now is examining the baby bird in his laboratory.]] / Dr Quickly: Hm... a broken wing... / Rabid: Do what you can to save it! Please! / Dr Quickly: Certainly! / [[A small electrical instrument, a box with a glass front and a panel of buttons, sits on a table. The bird has been placed inside.]] / Dr Quickly: I have placed the bird in my BONALYZER, and set it to 'Boner' -- the reverse setting being 'Debonair'. / Rabid: Ah. / [[Rabid and Dr Quickly watch the bonalyzer as it hums and a pale steam leaks from behind the glass front.]] / <> / Dr Quickly: Aha! Done! / [[Dr Quickly lifts up the tray the bird lies upon, the bird which is now dead, roasted through.]] / Dr Quickly: Oh dear... it seems I put it in the microwave by accident. / [[Rabid eats a piece of the bird.]] / Rabid: I love happy endings! / Dr Quickly: Careful! It's still cooking! / Rabid: Yum!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/1/
Soup Meal / Helping Hand {{title text: Soup Meal}} / [[Rabid stands in his kitchen, beside a large metal pot resting on his old gas range.]] / Rabid: I am hungry for soup, so I shall make some in this pot. / [[Dr Quickly stands beside a projection screen which displays a chart comparing the size of the pot to the size of the planet Earth -- the pot is easily a quarter the size of the planet.]] / Dr Quickly: This diagram illustrates the extraordinary dimensions of this, 'the pot'. / [[Rabid waves a wooden spoon about as the contents of the pot heat up.]] / Rabid: I will cook PEOPLE! Yes, people of many lands! / <> / [[Suddenly, Space Frog rises out of the pot! Rabid flings the spoon into the air as he gasps in shock!]] / Space Frog: HA HA THEY ARE ALL NAMED 'STEW' / {{title text: Helping Hand}} / [[Rabish, curiously limbless, writhes in panic on a grassy field.]] / Rabish: OH NO! Where could my arms and legs be? Where are they? Oh dear! / [[Spying her friend in the distance, she calls for help.]] / Rabish: Rabid! HELP!! / Rabid: Huh -- wha? Yikes!! / [[Rabid now standing beside his crippled friend, the two stare up into the branches of a nearby tree. A strange pink bird in the tree is carrying her limbs in its beak.]] / Rabish: Hey, that BIRD's got my limbs! Look! / Rabid: Huh. / [[Having found a ladder, Rabid carries his friend up to the branch where she can see the confused bird, sitting in its nest which is fleshed out with limbs.]] / Rabish: He's usin' them to build his nest! How cute! / Rabid: Aw!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/2/
Box of Matches [[In the early morning light, Dr Quickly sits in a field reading a book, next to a large cardboard box on which the words "fREE KiTTENS" have been written.]] / [[Rabish arrives, and peers into the box.]] / Rabish: OH! Well aren't these just the CUTEST little things! / Dr Quickly: Yes. / [[Rabish hoists up a particlar brown kitten from the box.]] / Kitten: mow! / Rabish: I'm going to keep THIS one!! / [[Rabish sits with her kitten on a grassy spot, the kitten purring.]] / Rabish: Awww! / [[Rabid arrives.] / Rabid: Cool, you got a cat? / Rabish: Isn't he just the Most? / Rabid: Can I play with him for a bit? / Rabish: Sure! / [[Much later in the day, the sun sets behind a range of trees. Rabish sits glumly with her back against an old tree in the gathering gloaming. She misses her kitten.]] / [[Night has fallen by the time Rabid returns, and he hasn't got the kitten with him.]] / Rabish: Whe -- where's my cat? / Rabid: I'm... sorry... Dr Quickly said he made a mistake and the kittens weren't his to just... give away... / [[The kitten box is behind Rabid.]] / Rabid: So I bought them. All. / Various Kittens: mow! paroo! mro! pr! / Rabish: Whoa! Wow! My own whole BOX of kittens! / [[Rabish climbs into the box!]] / Rabish: HA HA! The kittens TICKLE! / Various Kittens: mrr! myo! nraw! mrow! / [[Dr Quickly stands in a supermarket aisle, muttering to himself.]] / Dr Quickly: Where DID I put those KITTENS?
http://nameremoved.com/comics/3/
Out A Pickle [[Rabid, sitting at his kitchen table with a spoon in hand]] / Rabid: COULD you KEEP it DOWN in there I'M TRYING TO EAT my meal of BEAN PASTE! / [[Dr Quickly and Rabish are in Rabid's pantry. Rabish is carrying a large mallet]] / Dr Quickly: Ignore him, dear. / Rabish: Ok! / [[Rabish brings the mallet down on an object that was not a pickle jar.]] / <> / [[Rabish wipes the sweat from her brow.]] / Rabish: There has Got To Be a better way to open a pickle jar. / Dr Quickly: There is, but you have to learn this way first. Now, grind up the glass... / [[Rabish grinds the glass up with a mortar and pestle.]] / <> / [[Rabid sits at the kitchen table, waving a spoonful of his dinner about.]] / Rabid: Bean paste... / [[Rabid stands at the kitchen sink, waving a dish about distractedly.]] / Rabid: ...doin' dishes... / [[Rabid lies in bed, his head on his pillow and eyes closed.]] / Rabid: ... goin' to bed... / [[Rabid sits at the kitchen table, placing a spoon full of cereal in his mouth distractedly.]] / Rabid: ... eatin' breakfast... / [[Rabid's eyes widen in shock, no longer distracted.]] / Rabid: ... swallowing... fine grains... of broken glass... in cereal? / [[Rabid leaps up in shock, blood cereal and the spoon flying away.]] / Rabid: AAAUGH!! / [[The phone, in an adjacent room, begins to ring.]] / Rabid: YAUUUGH!!! / [[Rabid walks into the room, and picks up the phone]] / Rabid: AAAUGH!! AAGH!!... hello? / [[Dr Quickly is on the other end. Rabish stands beside the doctor, listening in.]] / Dr Quickly: Hello there. How is? ... glass, you say? ... Well, pickles are best for that. / [[Rabish sneaks into Rabid's pantry.]] / Rabish: I'd better go get readier! / [[Rabid walks into his pantry and finds Rabish.]] / Rabid: Oh! Rabish! You are in my pantry! Could you hand me that pickle jar? / [[Rabid unscrews the lid of the pickle jar. Blood drips out of the corner of his mouth.]] / Rabid: Un-SCREW! / [[Rabid bites a pickle.]] / <> / Rabish: Can I have one too?
http://nameremoved.com/comics/4/
 
Classic Transmitter: A Hot Summer Day [[Devil stands in a tower.]] / [[Boy stands in a plaza beside the tower.]] / [[Boy looks up at the tower.]] / [[Devil pulls on something attached to his head.]] / [[More pulling, and a sort of grappling hook feeds on a line out of Devil's head.]] / [[Devil lowers the hook down the length of the tower.]] / [[Boy grabs for the hook as it swings toward him.]] / [[Boy climbs the rope up to the room Devil is in.]] / [[Boy and Devil exchange words.]] / [[Devil leaps out the window.]] / [[Boy is apparently stranded.]] / [[Devil sits on another patio, under a patio umbrella, drinking through a straw.]]
http://nameremoved.com/comics/5/
Tenser said the tensor / Meanwhile, in outer space... {{title text: Tenser said the tensor}} / [[Rabid waves his hands in agitation as Dr Quickly holds a gun to his head and closes his eyes.]] / Rabid: Oh my goodness, Doctor! What are you doing? / Dr Quickly: I have a most dreadfully annoying tune stuck in my head!! / Rabid: Killing yourself isn't the ans-- ACK! / <> / [[Gore spouts from Dr Quickly's head.]] / Dr Quickly: I THINK IT WORKED!! LOOK INSIDE!! / [[An anthropomorphic musical note lies dead inside Dr Quickly's head.]] / Rabid: Oh! Yes, you got the tune point blank! / Dr Quickly: Hfff... hfff... / {{title text: Meanwhile, in outer space...}} / [[A magnificent space vista, the fires of a strange green sun, the swirl of a galaxy, and the rings of an alien planet. Inside a space ship, through the bubble-like windows, we see Rabish and Rabid.]] / Rabid: Instant 'space' coffee? But I like to drink my coffee SLOWLY! / Rabish: Silly boy! Why do you think we astronauts have been trained so rigorously to hold our breath so indefinitely long? / Rabid: Ohhhh... / Rabish: You drink it in an 'instant' but hold it in your mouth to savour as long as you like! / [[Rabid tries her suggestion...]] / <>
http://nameremoved.com/comics/6/
Tea is pretty good stuff. Dr Quickly: Rabid, lad! Would you care for a cup of fresh tea? / Rabid: Oh, I would! Sounds lovely! / Dr Quickly: EXCELLENT! / Dr Quickly: Fruitbase or teabush? / Rabid: ... You means 'herbal'? / Dr Quickly: In a sense, certainly! / Rabid: Fruitbase, then! / Dr Quickly: Here you are, then! / Rabid: Gracias! / Rabid: PFUAGH! It steams... yet is COLD!! / Dr Quickly: You fool! Do you not recognize the superior intelligence of a mad scientist?! / Rabid: What?! / Dr Quickly: Why, I've perfected COLD INFUSION!!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/7/
Considering an agrarian lifestyle / Horsis! {{title-text: Considering an agrarian lifestyle}} / Rabid: I'm interested in becoming a farmer! / Dr Quickly: Oh really? A farmer of what? / Rabid: Well, I was thinking of maybe raising 'beef cattle' but now I'm thinking I'll raise 'turkey cattle'! / Dr Quickly: Turkey meat comes from turkey. / Rabid: Well then, I'll move THERE to be a farmer!! / Dr Quickly: Pff. Way to grow meat. / {{title-text: Horsis!}} / [[Space Frog licks Rabid]] / Rabid: HEY! / Space Frog: 'HEY' IS FOR HORSIS / Rabid: ... Don't you mean 'horses'? / Space Frog: NO. / Horsis: I AM HORSIS!! / Horsis: ALL 'HEY' IS FOR ME!!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/8/
Fresh Dough / My new job kind of sucks... {{title-text: Fresh Dough}} / Space Frog: I'M NOT MADE OF NOODLES! / Rabid: I'm not looking for... noodles... I'm looking for money. / Space Frog: WHAT? I don't owe you ANYTHING! / Space Frog: ... except noodles. / {{title-text: My new job kind of sucks...}} / [[I'm sitting in a cubicle, talking on the telephone.]] / Me: Yeah -- I got this new job -- no -- no, I get paid for making myself feel bad. / My Boss: Well, Nick, you've been doing such a good job and clocking so much overtime, we've decided to give you a raise! / Me: What GOOD does it DO me when my LIFE is SHIT?! / My Boss: Attaboy!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/9/
 
Hygiene is important despite what the Doctor says [[Dr Quickly has a horrible smell coming from him.]] / Dr Quickly (singing): I'd rather do some math - Than take a cleansing bath - But yes, it's true, there're many things I'd rather do than that! / [[Dr Quickly holds a clipboard with the note "EXPERIMENT STATUS: RUINED BY MY STENCH"]] / Dr Quickly (singing): Don't underestimate - Just how long I'd wait - I'd rather play a baseball game than use a laundromat! - (aside: and I'm not a fan of sports) / Rabid: Ew, Dr Q! You smell... NOT funny. / Dr Quickly: That is because, as a Mad Doctor, I have decided Bathing is Unhealthy! / Dr Quickly (singing): You really shouldn't bathe, lad, it's gen'rally quite bad. - It's a nasty little habit therefore quit and you'll be glad! / Rabid (singing): I regret to say you're wrong, Doc, though I can't say WHY - but hygiene is IMPORTANT STUFF... / Rabid (singing): That's why I bathe in LYE!! / Dr Quickly (singing): 'In lye's a lie, my friend (I've often watched you bathe) - You're being very silly when the situation's GRAVE. / Rabid (singing): I can't say I understand this latest kick of yours - But as of now, you're going to stay outdoors. / Dr Quickly: Fine then, I WILL. / Rabid: Scram, stinky! / / [[Dr Quickly strides through a meadow, murdering the plants with his awful stench.]] / [[Rabid is perusing a tome labelled "DICTION AERIE"]] / Rabid (thinking): Ew, THAT'S what lye is? I am NOT GETTING IN THAT.
http://nameremoved.com/comics/10/
Two dumb guys at the health centre [[Two immature young men are standing in front of a large bin of free condoms in the health centre of their college.]] / Dude One: Dude! / Dude Two: I know, man, that is seriously, like, a BIG NUMBER of condoms. / Dude One: Totally! I've never SEEN so many condoms... uh, at once... / Dude Two: Sure, sure! But yeah, that... wow. Should we take some? I mean, like, we're supposed to... and they're for free. / Dude One: Yeah, I guess... but I dunno, man... you know how you always forget to have one with you when you need one? / Dude Two: Oh yeah... and when you have one you never need it! I totally see where you're going with this. We should let sleeping hot dog skins lie. / Dude One: Yeah. ... heh, I wonder if having a LOT of condoms increases the effect! / Dude Two: Whoa, you mean like some sort of... reverse action? / Dude One: Yeah! We better get out of here before it's too late! There's no telling how far it, like, can... / <> / [[The first dude has disappeared!]] / Dude Two: Oh no! It's true! I gotta get... / <> / [[The condoms sit, alone and undisturbed in the health centre.]]
http://nameremoved.com/comics/11/
Classic Transmitter: Keys in the Ignition / Trick Visor {{title-text: Keys in the Ignition}} / [[Boy leans towards a many-legged device.]] / [[Boy addresses it respectfully, while Devil arrives on the scene looking nonplussed.]] / [[Boy crawls under the legs, which seems to shock Devil.]] / [[The device activates, with Boy at the helm. Devil is concerned for his own safety.]] / [[The device shoots a ray of powerful energy, cooking Devil where he stands.]] / [[The device flies up into the air trailing its legs like a tail. Steam and smoke rise from the remains of Devil.]] / [[A view of space, a moon in the background. The device floats by.]] / [[Devil is rather startled to be destroyed.]] / [[Boy either rejoices at his command of the machine, or is horrified at his lack of control. Hard to say.]] / {{title-text: Trick Visor}} / [[Devil has a present.]] / [[Devil presently presents the present to Boy.]] / [[Boy wears the present on his head.]] / [[A view through the present -- some sort of goggles.]] / [[Something is wrong. Boy cries out but does not remove the goggles. Devil stands by, watching.]] / [[Triangular sections peel out of Boy's head. A strange light shines out of the goggles.]] / [[Blood spurts out as the sections rise from the senseless head of Boy.]] / [[The sections fly off as Boy slouches, lifeless.]] / [[Devil proudly summons the sections into a formation.]]
http://nameremoved.com/comics/12/
Serenading the Samovar / Head Dread {{title-text: Serenading the Samovar}} / Rabid: Well how do you make sure the AUTOCLAVE is sterile? / Dr Quickly: Oh, that's easy! / [[Dr Quickly gestures at what seems to be a piano.]] / Dr Quickly: You use a 'double-manual clavier' -- it's a kind of old-fashioned medical piano. / [[Dr Quickly plays the piano.]] / Dr Quickly: Don't listen to it too closely, or we'll have to restock your intestinal flora! / Rabid: Oh... / [[Rabish arrives, beside the large brass "autoclave".]] / Rabish: Why are you two serenading my samovar?! / {{title-text: Head Dread}} / Dr Quickly: Where is my hat? / Dr Quickly: I looked in the vat... / Dr Quickly: ... and the cave full of bats... / Dr Quickly: (I even checked inside the stomach of my neighbour's cat!) / The Neighbour's Cat: meow... / Dr Quickly: Where is it at? Under the mat? Alas, no. / Dr Quickly: I smell a rat -- is it a theft? Oh woe! / Dr Quickly: ... Oh, wait! I don't wear a hat! / Dr Quickly: I wonder why I went through that.
http://nameremoved.com/comics/13/
Snacks and ladders Rabot: I wonder what it would be like to be 'hungry'... why don't I just look in the refrigeratron & see if anything activates my fancying circuits... / Rabot: Aha! Some deli meats! Perhaps... if I prepare a sandwich with them! Wait a minute -- if I EAT them I'll NEVER be hungry! / Dr Quickly: Hello little robot! / Rabot: Hello Doctor... I would like you to help me be HUNGRY and HOW! / Dr Quickly: But don't don't you see, Rabot? That desire of yours is a TYPE of HUNGER! / Rabot: Oooh! / Dr Quickly: In fact, seeing as how it's a desire for something specific that you don't really NEED... / Dr Quickly: One could say you have an APPETITE for HUNGER! / Rabot: Oooh! I had no idea I was such a FANCY ROBOT!! / Rabot: NOW! Now I think I'm going to have that sandwich! / Dr Quickly: Oh, would you make me one too?
http://nameremoved.com/comics/14/
 
Standing Ovation Space Frog: DOCTOR QUICKLY I REQUEST THAT YOU BUILD ME... A CHOKING MACHINE / Dr Quickly: Whyever would you desire such a contraption, Space Frog? / Space Frog: THAT'S EASY... / Space Frog: I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED ABOUT THE... SENSATIONS ASSOCIATED WITH SUCH AN ACTIVITY AND AS I HAVE NO HANDS I LACK THE MEANS TO EXPLORE THEM ON MY OWN... / <> / Dr Quickly: Ah, Space Frog -- I am delighted to see such evidence of an inquisitive and scientific nature in you. I will assist you, of course. To the laboratory! / Space Frog: GOODY / Dr Quickly: Days have passed -- the device stands completed -- the moment... approaches! / Space Frog: IT SURE DOES / [[The machine strangles Dr Quickly!]] / Dr Quickly: HGKKKGG!! / Space Frog: HA HA SUCKER
http://nameremoved.com/comics/15/
Securibev and Securibev 2.0 [[Rabid and Rabish are in a convenience store beside the refrigerators. Rabid holds up a can of carbonated drink.]] / Rabid: 'This drink contains security features...' / Rabish: What? Why? / Rabid: Apparently to keep the BRAND IDENTITY protected at a HIGH LEVEL -- no sneaking off to the teats of competitors. / Rabish: How does it taste? / Rabid: Like a filing cabinet! BLECCH!! / [[Rabid has a curious expression on his face.]] / From Inside Rabid: WARNING WARNING PRODUCT DILUTION... DETECTED! ... WARNING... INITIATING CORE BEVERAGE RETRIEVAL! / <> / Rabish: Oh dear! / [[Rabid's body lies shattered and exploded on the ground.]] / Hovering Sphere of Cola: BEVERAGE PURITY AND PERFECTION RENEWED AND VERIFIED / [[Rabid lies in a hospital bed, reading from a soda pop can.]] / Rabid: "New improved Securibev 2.0... better taste! markedly fewer dilution-recognition errors!" / Rabish: Eh, give it a shot. / <> / Rabish: How's this one? / Rabid: Like... an EMPTY filing cabinet. / From Inside Rabid: DILUTION DETEC... recalibrating... END USER CONSUMPTION ROUTINE INITIATED. Thank you for choosing DR INK, now with SECURIBEV 2.0 / Rabish: Phew... / Rabid: No kidding! / Rabid: Oof... / <> / From Inside Rabid: ERROR... THIS SECURIBEV 2.0 PROTECTED DRINK IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT GAS RELEASE. SECURIBEV 2.0 PROTECTED DRINKS ARE ALWAYS COMFORTABLE. / Dr Ink: Try some... DR INK with new SECURIBEV 2.0... IT'S A BEVERAGE!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/16/
The Bullshit Detector / Pressure {{title-text: The Bullshit Detector}} / Dr Quickly: Heyo, Rabid! Strut y'self over here an' glutton yer scopers on m'latest invention! / Rabid: Okay -- what is it? / Dr Quickly: Why, it is a bullshit detector! / Rabid: Extraordinary! Such a device could revolutionize any NUMBER of fields currently weighted down by falsehoodicatious mendicants! / Dr Quickly: Indeed! / Rabid: But -- does it work? / Dr Quickly: Of course! / <> / {{title-text: Pressure}} / [[A commercial jetliner soars above the ground.]] / Mom: Honey, ask Nicky how his headache is now that we're in the air... / [[Blood pours out of my head]] / Papa: I think he's sleeping!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/17/
Antislumbversary Rabid: Whoa... I've been awake... for like six... or seven years now... I... I wonder if anyone... else knows or realizes... this. Oooh, I'm even expositing... and out loud, to boot. / Rabid: Boy am I tired... doubt I'll... get any sleep, though. Hey, now I'm fore... shadowing... ...ing. / Dr Quickly, Rabish, Rabot: soo-Prize! / Rabish: Rabid! Today is your anti-slub... anti... ANTISLUMBVERSARY! SEVEN YEARS!! CONGRATS!! / Dr Quickly: Why, I'd wager you've been awake so long you don't even recall the original impetus behind this grand abandonment of the fertile fields of Nod! / Rabot: We are SO PROUD of you. / [[Rabid lies on the floor, asleep.]] / Dr Quickly: Rabid? / <> / Dr Quickly: Hey! / <> / <> / Dr Quickly: AUUGH HE FELL ASLEEP!! EVERYONE RUN!! / <> / <> / A Beast Emerging From Rabid's Skull: I'm FREE!!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/18/
Twenty-twenty self-regard Rabid: I am finding it difficult to focus. / Dr Quickly: Figuratively or literally? / Rabid: The former. / Dr Quickly: Well have I got just th'thing for you! / Rabid: Oh? / Dr Quickly: Contact lenses for the soul! I keep them fresh an' warm in this pot of chicken soup. / Dr Quickly: Now, to put them on I first need to trephinate your skull. / Dr Quickly: And this row? / Rabid: M O R A L I T Y / Dr Quickly: Very good! / Rabid: FINALLY A MEASURE OF SPIRITUAL ACUITY!!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/19/
 
Classic Transmitter: Proportions / Freeze Tag {{title-text: Proportions}} / [[Boy and Devil are talking.]] / [[Devil's body widens much to the surprise of Boy.]] / [[Devil's body now occupies an obtuse portion of the panel's frame.]] / [[Boy pokes Devil's body, in disbelief.]] / [[From a greater distance, it is clear that Devil has not encompassed the entire world, but instead has gained weight in a rotational thickening.]] / [[The process complete, Devil has some things to say.]] / {{title-text: Freeze Tag}} / [[Boy has a headpiece he is hoping will protect him and the world from Devil and his new power mittens.]] / [[Devil appears wearing the power mittens, fire and smoke bursting around him.]] / [[Hoisting his power mittens, Devil is prideful.]] / [[Devil demonstrates the exciting sound the power mittens make when shaken around.]] / [[While Devil is distracting himself with his egotistical display, Boy attaches the headpiece to him.]] / [[Devil's ability to control the power mittens thoroughly destroyed by the headpiece, the mittens fly off to find new masters.]]
http://nameremoved.com/comics/20/
Mother of Season's Cycle Rabid: What a beautiful day! / Dr Quickly: Yes, it most certainly is. / Rabid: Oh dear, the weather is turning... / Dr Quickly: To what? / A Voice From The Heavens: VINEGAR WHERE ONCE WAS WINE!! / Dr Quickly: Sky's leaking sour stuff!! / <> / Space Frog: MY LOFTY OFFICE TOWER -- CORRODED BY THIS ACID SHOWER! / Rabish: The plants in my garden are CHANGED by this strange downpour! / <> / Rabid: Oh! My cellphone! / Rabid: Hello? ... yeah, no kidding! ... it does? ... well no wonder! Okay, right on it!! / Rabid: FLIGHT INTO THE HEAVENS!! / Dr Quickly: Now that we are on a space platform, take this size-largening pill. / Rabid: ARF! / Dr Quickly: The earth has been left upright! The cork dried out! / Rabid: SO I SEE!! / [[Rabid, made huge, restores the tilt to the Earth.]] / Rabid: Now I know why we have seasons!!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/21/
Synthesis Rabot: Emotions make me ANGRY!! / Rabid: Huh? But you're Rabot -- a robot! You're 'Rabot the Robot Rabid'! / Rabot: So WHAT? / Rabid: Well, since when have robots been able to feel emotions? / Rabot: Two answers to that. / Rabot: One: since we've been worth talking to. Two: since the invention of the INTERIOR FINGER!! / Rabid: How does it work? Where is it? / [[An illustration of the inside of Rabot's head, which apparently opens up via a hinge on one side. Inside, what appears to be a human finger, and a number of strange objects labelled as "various emotions".]] / Rabot: I use it to feel my pre-installed set of emotions. Since the finger is quite dextrous, it is able to feel emotions at such a speed that, although distinct, I perceive them as one. / Rabid: Cool -- but why do emotions 'make you angry'? / Rabot: I keep giving myself 'the finger'!!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/22/
Transposition error Dr Quickly: Egads I'm lonely -- the life of a reclusive MAD SCIENTIST. But this is certainly soluble -- there's no need for me to BE a 'chick magnet' when I can MAKE ONE!! / Dr Quickly: MMMARRRVELOUS! MY MAD MIND MADE ME A MATE MAGNET! (And it only took a couple days!) / Dr Quickly: NOW! THE CONTROLS!! I ACTIVATE!!! / <> / <> / <> / [[Meats of various types fly from seemingly nowhere to stick to the magentized surface of the device.]] / Dr Quickly: WHAT? Not hot chicks at all -- luncheon meats? How am I to get BOOTY from BOLOGNA? / [[A happy ending after all: the Doctor sits beside a path, under a tree, eating a sandwich made with some of the meats his invention found for him.]]
http://nameremoved.com/comics/23/
Space frog doesn't actually care about your diet Space Frog: I HEARD YOU ATE A HOT DOG SO HOW WAS IT? / Rabid: Uh, it was pretty tasty. / Rabid: There was hot sauce on it and it was really very spicy! / Space Frog: Poor BABY!! WAN' SOME MILK?! / Rabid: Uh, no, thank you, I had a cold beverage. / Space Frog: Mm hm, mm hm... / Rabid: 'Mm hm' WHAT?! / <> / <> / [[Huge amounts of milk pour onto Rabid.]]
http://nameremoved.com/comics/24/
 
Gone Fishin' [[In the early morning, Rabid stands at a bus stop in front of a streetcorner cafe. He is wearing a fishing cap, and carring a fishing pole and tackle box.]] / Rabish: Fishing tackle? Worms? An atypical yet contextually appropriate hat? I bet you're going fishing, right? / Rabish: ? / Rabish: Rabid? Hello? / Rabish: Oh! ... it's just a wax dummy! / Rabish: AND HE'S FILLED WITH CHEESE!!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/25/
Space Frog is even mean to robots Space Frog: HONK! I ATE TH'ROBOT PARADE!! / Rabot: Gasp! / Rabot: Waaah! Sob sob! Gasp! Waah! Sob cry cry! Waaahhh! Whine! Gasp sob gasp gasp sob CRY!! WAAAAAAAHHHHAGLGLHGH!! / Space Frog: JUST KIDDING!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!! STUPID ROBOTS / Rabot: But -- but you said that if you prefaced a statement with 'honk' then you would be telling the TRUTH!! You SAID!! / Space Frog: SNORT!! / Space Frog: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA GASP HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA / Rabot: Do you have ANY friends? / Space Frog: NO, WHY? HA HA HA! / <>
http://nameremoved.com/comics/26/
Doubting the evidence of their senses Dr. Quickly: Heh heh heh... / Rabid: Uh oh -- what is it you've got there? / Dr Quickly: It is a POWERFUL ODOUR ABSORBENT!! / Rabid: Uh, could you maybe wait until AFTER we're done eating? I'm kind of enjoying this meal. / Dr Quickly: FINE. / The Waiter: Your cheque, sir... AGH!! / <> / Dr Quickly: HA!! / <> / A Female Slug: OH GOLLY THAT FELLOW SHOT THE WAITER! / A Male Slug: Wait! There's no scent of gore or gunpowder! It must be some sort of stage trick. / A Female Slug: Oh... yeah, okay. ... that's weird, my food has no flavour now. / Rabid: You know, if you wanted me to pay, you could have ASKED.
http://nameremoved.com/comics/27/
$0 Initiation Squash / Beanworld-not {{title-text: $0 Initiation Squash}} / Rabid: I need more exercise. I am weak and limp and unable to... to... PHYSICALLY ACCOMPLISH! / Rabid: Maybe there is a television programme that will help me to motivate. / <> / The Television: BEEP! SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE INITIATED! / [[The television displays the message: SELF-DESTRUCT SEQUENCE ON - TIME REMAINING 0:10 - TO EXIT PRESS MENU]] / The Television: THREE... TWO... / Rabid: Running away seems to be doing th'trick! / {{title-text: Beanworld-not}} / Rabid: I shape th'world with my lanugage! / Rabish: Oh? / Rabid: SUN! / Rabid: TREE! / Rabish: Everyone can do THAT, dummy! / Rabid: Uh... really? / Rabish: IGNORANT!
http://nameremoved.com/comics/28/
Unfamiliar Pastimes Rabid: This diving board is crapulent! / Rabid: There's not even a swimming pool beneath it! / Dr Quickly: Well, it's actually a game court for a dry-land physical sport -- but here, lad, I'll irradiate the board with plank-lengthening rays. / <> / Rabid: WHEEE!! / Rabid: Wow! The ocean at the edge of the world! Now THAT is a worthy dive! / [[Rabid falls and falls, and has a long gray beard.]] / Rabid: Now, many years later, I regret my impetuous diving habits.
http://nameremoved.com/comics/29/
 

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