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Sticky (melty) Dr Quickly: You knucklehead! Stop being sticky and get off of me so I can fix this!! / Rabid: I wish I could!! / / Dr Quickly: All I need to do is remove my hand from this button and then everything will be back to normal!! / / Rabid: AAAAAAAA / Dr Quickly: SHUT UP I can't CONCENTRATE on the BUTTON!! / / Dr Quickly: TOO LATE / / Rabish: Peanut butter an' honey! A sandwich fit for a queen!! / / Rabish: How'd I get honey on the back of my head?
Sticky (gum) Dr Quickly: AH! Stop STICKING TO ME!! / Rabid: I can't!! / / Space Frog: THIS X-TREEM MEGA-CYBER CHEWING GUM YOU'RE WORKING ON HAS INTERESTING SIDE EFFECTS / <> / Dr Quickly: STOP CHEWING IT!! / Rabid: Please!! / / Space Frog: UH ACTUALLY UH I REALLY CAN'T / Rabish: HEY, uh, can SOMEONE help me get OFF of the TOILET?! / / Dr Quickly: OH! I have an idea! Chew it really hard to discharge the magnetic alignment and release us! / Rabid: It's magnet flavoured? / / <> / Rabish: Ok, that worked, whatever you did... / / Dr Quickly: Ha! Whoops! Could someone remagnetize my parts? I forgot my body is a robot lately... / Rabid: Huh!
Sticky (river) <> / Rabish: Oh, gross... the water just got really sticky! / / <> / Rabid: I think the bag of ultratapioca that was in this box mysteriously fell somehow into the river!! / / <> / Noel: Ah! They tried to hide their scent with a reverse portage! Good thing the river somehow thickened and we can follow their trail. / / Noel: Stop barking, you idiot dog! It was a false trail!! This is just some river fish that beached on the pudding. / Dog: HARF HARF HARF / / Rabid: I told you this disguise would work!! / Rabish: I think you put it together inside out... / / <> / Dr Quickly: Oh MAN! Look at all that bloody gore! This harpoon gun ROCKS! When the kids get here, we'll feast on this GIANT FISH!!
Comb (begin) Rabish: You're looking primeval! / Rabid: MORE LIKE... CHAOTIC!! / / <> / Rabid: THIS COMB UNDOES THE KINKS IN MY BASIC FIBRES AND CLEANS UP MY ENERGY!! / / Dr Quickly: GAH! The unearthly light of pure creation!! Did someone find the subtle comb?! Bad enough that I had misplaced it!! / / Rabid: HERE YOU CAN HAVE IT BACK I'M DONE / <> / Dr Quickly: You fool! You've doomed us all!! / / Rabid: OH THIS FEELS WEIRD / <> / <> / / Teacher: You see, class, the universe exists with the physical constants it has so that we can have beautiful and fine hair. This is known as the Pilaceous Principle.
Comb (portal) Rabish: You look like a lawless miscreant. / Evil Rabid: More like CHAOTIC EVIL, hot lips!! / / <> / <> / Rabid: HAW HAW!! / / Rabid: What's going on? The cupcakes we're supposed to deliver to the orphanage are all ruined!! / Rabish: A hooligan tipped us!! / / Rabish: And he's wearing that wig you had on back home!! / Rabid: What wig? I've been at the bakery all day!! / / Dr Quickly: Huh, it looks like I left open that gateway to the nightmare dimension where everyone is totally evil... unless... someone OPENED it!! / / Space Frog: DUDE YOUR HAIR IS SO BEAUTIFUL I'M SURE GLAD I OPENED THAT GATEWAY / Evil Space Frog: I LIKE YOUR SHINY BALDNESS / Space Frog and Evil Space Frog: LET'S MAKE OUT
 
Comb (luck) Rabid: How will I invest today? / / Noel: No, you idiot! It has to be a LUCKY comb! How else could he get so much money using it? Random chance... PHEH! / / <> / Noel: Ha ha! Soon the riches will be ALL MINE!! / <> / Rabid: My comb!! / / Rabid: Look out! / <> / Noel: I'm not falling for that one! / / Rabid: Oh... it's all my fault. / / Rabid: "Struck down by greed and a truck a few days from now, Master Criminal Noel Mauvais..." How eerie!!
Finger (ring) Rabish: Ew! / / Smith: Yeah, made it for some kid said he found a treasure with these three stones in it. Never paid for it, just broke my legs and ran. / Rabish: Do you have his name? / / Hobo: Get that effin' thing away from me! Never should have gone in that cave!! Never should have opened that box!! Pawning that ring in Carthage was the best thing I ever did ever! / / Pawnmaster: This ring. Get out of my shop, take it with you, and don't you dare ever come back here. / / Being: That's a nice ring... can I see it? / / Being: Ah, it doesn't fit any more. You can keep it.
Finger (pops) Rabish: Oh, ick. / / Rabish: Install a trash can!! / Space Frog: YOU FIRST WHINER / / Rabish: Not you too!! / Rabid: They're so tasty! / / Rabish: They're junk food! / Dr Quickly: New research I did that Space Frog paid for says they're full of NUTRIENTS. / / Advertisement: SPACE FROG BRAND FINGER POPS! SEXY PEOPLE SMILE SO HAPPY!! BUY THIS TO JOIN THEM ALWAYS!! / Rabish: Since when do they pre-empt my favourite show for ADVERTS?! / / Rabish: You know, they're made with real fingers. / <> / <>
Finger (spring) Rabish: Oh, gross! A finger!! / / Rabish: Oh! It must be spring, finally.
Mausoleum (party) Noel: OH MAN this mausoleum is gonna ROCK!! / / Noel: Just another couple skulls and my plan will be COMPLETE!! / Rabid: NOT SO FAST!! / / Rabid: Why not just use one skull repeatedly? / Noel: I tried! Getting the jello out without breaking the skull was too hard. / / Rabish: Wow! These skull molds are AWESOME! This is the best goth tea party ever!! / <> / / Noel: Thank you for not sending me to jail until after the party. / Rabid: Being a policemonster means I can twist the law as I see fit!! / / Rabid: It turns out that our conversation was being recorded by other policemonsters. / Noel: I don't mind, since your poor behaviour led to my release!
 
Mausoleum (ultraleader) Noel: Well! Just a few more famous corpses and I'll be able to genetically engineer a really excellent warlord emperor figurehead! / / Rabid: Life is actually pretty good under the iron fist of ULTRALEADER MURDERHAVOC SOULEATER! / Rabish: Yeah, I guess... / / Noel: I just got a report that says you shut down my labour camp in the Poison Swamp of Hopeless Valley... care to explain? / Souleater: It was... inhumane. / / Rabish: M-mister Ultraleader!! You've come to show solidarity with us labourers?! / Souleater: Not really, no. See how I have my own hammer? / / Noel: How did you escape? Go away! I have a better figurehead now! LOSER!! / Souleater: See? / Rabish: Huh! / / Space Frog: CITIZENS OF THE WORLD YOUR SHOELACES ARE ALL UNTIED / Rabid: They are? Wow! Thanks, ULTRALEADER HORRIBLEMISTAKE SPACE FROG!!
Mausoleum (slides) Noel: Oh, this one is neat -- it's for some family or something. Look at the detail in the stonework! / Rabid: ZZZ / / Noel: Here are a few closeups. You can tell they change their mind about what sort of chisel to use. / / Noel: See, the names are carved into the walls as well as the sarcophagi. / Rabid: ZZZ / / Noel: Here's one of the corpses. I thought it would be funny to dress it like a baby. / / Noel: Look how its guts are all liquefied! / / Noel: So that's the first carousel. I have a few dozen... more... where'd you all go?
Dancing on a grave (seed) Dr Quickly: Beez gbazgen mauz gaysh, bal gonskunn geez woazch! Ma meesken loas gouase geez gonskunn boz MOSQUIEZ!! / / Rabid: I have clawed my way out of the ground... what is going on?! / Dr Quickly: I rose you from the dead!! / / Dirt: YOU HAVE RAISED US AS WELL, THE INTERMINABLE GENERATIONS LONG DECAYED INTO THE SOIL / Dr Quickly: Oh my! / Rabid: Yipe! / / Seed: I AM THE SEED, LONG DEAD, RETURNED TO LIFE TO CLAIM YOUR WORLD FOR MY MASTERS / / Rabid: Apparently it didn't survive the voyage to our planet but now its terraforming takeover is back on track. / Rabish: Bummer. / / Dr Quickly: Good news! The zombie magic wears off after a while and the seed will thus decay anew! We'll be free! / <> / Rabish: Neat!
Dancing on a grave (fitness) Dr Quickly: Beez! Gac! Goasgun! MONSQUAZ!! / / Dr Quickly: Ah-ha-ha! My occult exercise programme worked like a charm!! / Beefy: Care to test it with a wager? / / <> / Dr Quickly: I beat you so hard at arm wrestling that you turned into a BABY!! / / Dr Quickly: He wasn't a baby until I beat him! / Cop: Get in the van, you menace! / Adoptive Mother: He beat you? You poor thing!! / / Adoptive Mother: You need to know, my dear boy... I'm not your real mother. Seek out Doctor Quickly for the truth... / Li'l Beefy: He's my professor at university!! / / Dr Quickly: So, he's going to be a regular cast member now... / Rabid: They don't LOOK related...
Dancing on a grave (fatherhood) Dr Quickly: SOAN SCHWEDA DN ZWEA TOIEAP!! / / Li'l Beefy: Dad, were you out all night chanting again? You promised we could watch television together and BOND!! / Dr Quickly: Ugh. / / Li'l Beefy: See? Isn't this fun? / <> / <> / Dr Quickly: Shouldn't you be going to class? / / Space Frog: HE'S NOT REALLY YOUR FATHER / Li'l Beefy: Not again!! / / Rabid: So all along you were just some random burly thug? / Beefy: Yeah! I guess I should disappear back into the crowd again, now. / / Dr Quickly: Well -- maybe I'll leave his bedroom as it was for a while... he might... might come back for a... sniff!... visit...
 
Station error (alien) Rabid: This isn't my stop... / / Rabid: I don't recognize these buildings... / / Rabid: Excuse me, I think I'm lost!! / Businessman: Excuse you, you think you're lost!! / / Rabid: And to be quite honest I don't remember how I made it back home!! / Dr Quickly: How very peculiar! / / <> / / Rabid: and to be... honest I... don't remember... home.
Station error (recurring) Rabid: This isn't my stop! / / Rabid: 45 minutes until the next zeppelin?! Maybe the tube runs near here... / / <> / Rabid: This isn't my stop!! Maybe I can hail a taxibus. / / Rabid: This isn't my stop! / Driver: Sorry, champ, your buy-in doesn't cover any other zones. / / Rabid: This isn't my stop! / Frog: We're out of GoatFuel. / / Rabid: Sorry I'm so late! Getting here was INSANE! / Dr Quickly: I'm afraid auditions have closed.
Station error (hugeness) Rabid: This isn't my stop! / / Rabid: Oh, I'm always so nervous walking around in the Small Docklands. / / Rabid: I took the wrong scale train and forgot to get a transfer. / Rabish: I don't have any tokens your size... I'll have to come meet you! / / Rabid: Apparently it wears off after a while! / Rabish: JEEZ LOUISE! / / Rabish: Well, hold onto my ice cream while I go use this transfer. / Rabid: AWESOME! / / Rabid: I tried eating it all before you came back but I COULDN'T! / Rabish: Heh!
Kite-eating (terminator) Rabid: M-my kite!! / Rabish: IT IS WHAT I WAS DESIGNED TO DO / / Dr Quickly: The scanner indicates she was sent back in time to destroy kites! / / Rabish: MISSION SUFFICIENTLY ACCOMPLISHED ON ACCOUNT OF I AM NOW BORED / Dr Quickly: My word! Almost all the kites in this one store--completely destroyed!! / / <> / Dr Quickly: My eye!! / / Dr Quickly: I want you to go back in time and DESTROY MORE KITES to avenge my eye!! / Rabish: AFFIRMATIVE!! / / Dr Quickly: It's healed up nicely!! / Rabish: Why are you in my bathroom?
Kite-eating (ancient) Rabid: This happened last year! What gives?! / Rabish: MY PROGRAMMING DEMANDS IT / Dr Quickly: I've built a vast army of kite-eating machines! To send into the past all at once! / Rabid: I just don't remember that happening, is all. / Dr Quickly: You don't? / Rabid: A DELICIOUS KITE LET ME EAT IT / Rabish: IN MY CENTURIES OF WAITING I HAVE LEARNED THE ERROR OF MY WAYS SO I MUST STOP YOUR ROBOT ARMY / <> / Dr Quickly: Dang it stop ruining my plans! / Rabish: NOW TO SEND YOU INTO THE DISTANT PAST AND FULFILL OUR RETRODESTINY / Dr Quickly: Merry ecksmas. / Rabid: Cool! A robot clone! / Rabish: Why is mine all oldy-looking?
 
Kite-eating (reset) Rabid: A kite, eh? What a blast from the past. / Rabish: You think THIS is "old-school", I have something to show you! / Rabid: I look younger than I remember! / Rabish: I hid it down here during the Robot Uprising. / Rabid: Upload complete! We have identical data now!! / Rabish: Time to send you back in time, then! Good luck!! / Rabish: Everything's in place, then? You did all the setup work? / Rabid: Finally yes! Let's put things back how they used to be... / Rabid: It's sure a nice day for a picnic!! / Rabish: I'll say! / Dr Quickly: Check out my new invention! I call it a PARTY VULTURE!
Needy (helper) Rabid: I WANNA HUG!! / Rabid: GIMME A HUG!! / Dr Quickly: ugh / Rabot: I, uh, just wanted a glass of water. / Rabid: HUUUGS / Space Frog: NO / Rabid: But!! / Rabid: purrrr / Noel: GHH / Rabid: I'm helping people!!
Needy (games) Rabish: Look, I have to go to work now. / Rabid: But I want more HUGS!! I'm gonna twitch sadly on the floor until I get more!! / Rabid: Ha ha she's disgusted and will stay at work late giving me more time alone at home to play some exciting video games. / Rabid: Wow, according to the time stamp on my saved games she hasn't been home for over a month. / Rabish: Life with you is so great!! / The Millionaire: Well, I am wealthy. / Game: BOWHEAD_KILLER HAS JOINED THE GAME / Rabid: That's -- that's her username!! / Rabish: Oh man this is awkward.
Needy (battery) Noel: Look, I know I mind-controlled you to be my love slave but you're kind of... needy. / Noel: Look, here's a vacwm cleaner for you. Instead of fawning, why don't you clean the grotto-lair? / Rabid: Sounds great. / <> / Rabid: Oh I've got the grotto suction blues! My baby gave my chores that I'm mind-controlled to do... Once I'm done with vacwming I'll clean the kitchen too! / <> / Rabid: Oh no! A cave water electric short! / Noel: Why did the lights go out? Did you finish your chores? Is it paddling time already? / Rabid: Next time either don't mind control me or make sure the battery backup in the mind control box has fresh batteries!
Rabid Complains (travel) Rabid: I'm not that needy! And I was under brain control and stuff. / Rabish: Now instead of needy, you're being WHINY!! / Rabid: I don't have to put up with this CRUDULENCE. / Rabish: Chill out, kiddo! / Rabid: I moved here to get away from it all... / Noel: I know that line, and let me tell you, there's plenty of it all here too. / Rabish: I'm just reading about it in the paper! Look, can I buy you a plane ticket to come back home? / Rabid: I'm sorry I ran off like that. / Rabish: Now you're being apologetic!!
 
Rabid Complains (holiday) Rabid: I'm not that whiny. And plus also I was under mind control and stuff!! / Rabish: It's just some silly stories, don't get bent out of shape. / Rabid: This cake tastes like butt. / Rabish: Well you made it, did you use butt? / Rabid: It's too damn hot out!! / Rabish: Why are you wearing wintertime accoutrements? / Rabid: There's nothing good on television so it is VERY BORING!! / Rabish: Look, it's not even plugged in. / Rabid: This book is full of really stupid words! / Rabish: Eh. / Rabid: It's International Grouchy Complaint Day and you haven't been participating!! / Rabish: I do not celebrate International Grouchy Complaint Day.
Rabid Complains (comic) Rabid: Have you seen this website? It's telling lies about how I act! / Rabish: What? Maybe it's a coincidental resemblance. / Rabid: It could be... / Rabid: Oh! Whoever does that scary comic wrote me back!! / Rabish: You emailed them? / Noel: Oh, good! He's reading the MAGIC SPELL I sent him OUT LOUD!! / <> / Rabid: ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF!! / Rabish: ROWR MOWR POWR FOWR ROWR!! / Noel: ... sigh.
Afraid and Alone (pills) Rabid: no, no, no... where is everybody? where? / Rabish: You look miserable, is there anything I can do for you? / Rabid: I dunno. / Dr Quickly: The blood tests say low pep levels... I can prescribe something to help! / Rabish: Please! / Rabid: Recording a new hit rock and roll song / While painting a soon to be famous abstraction / While powersurfing in a transparent thong / Chemically compelled to maximum action! / Dr Quickly: Oh! A horrible side effect of the pills?! / Dr Quickly: Maybe I should stop taking them too, after I finish writing this new hit novel.
Afraid and Alone (door) Rabid: no... where am I... where is everyone? / Rabid: The city is empty, and quiet. Not a peep. It's spooky! / Noel: Rabid should make a challenging opponent! / Rabid: Oh no! The city isn't empty! It's full of horrible zombies! / Space Frog: GUILTY OF DIGITIZING INNOCENT PEOPLE INTO A ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST DOOM SIMULATION GAME LIFE SENTENCE / Noel: Bah. / Rabid: I can walk through here back into the real world? / Dr Quickly: Yes! It's actually a super-high-speed maker, you shouldn't experience any discontinuity. / Rabid: It's good to be back in the real world where there are no zombies ever really!
Afraid and Alone (cake door) Rabid: Oh, why did I leave the door open? The zombies got EVERYBODY. I only managed to survive because of my video-game-trained superskills. / Noel: You're not the only one with the video game superskills! / Rabid: Noel! You escaped prison AND zombies!! / Noel: So should we try to rebuild civilization? / Rabid: Are you coming on to me? / Noel: ... yes. / Descendant: The ancient texts speak of a time when one only died once, and the shambling second life was a thing of stories alone. / Bald Elder: Pragmatism prevents us from investigating historical sites. / Beardy Elder: The zombies attack constantly! / Descendant: So apparently this video game just continually spawns new zombies and they've been coming through this door for centuries. / Descendant: I left the door open but loaded a cake-making game instead!! / Beardy Elder: Yay cake! / Bald Elder: Yay!
 

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