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Cactus (thief) Cactus: Where you goin', sugar? / Rabid: Hey! He stole my wallet! / Rabish: I dunno, something about you seems... different. Sexily different. / Cactus: Well I'm certainly not an identity thief!! / Rabid: GASP! / Rabish: GASP! / Cactus: GASP! / Rabid: I'll get my revenge, you jerk! / Cactus: Ha! I've heard THAT one before! / Rabid: That was strangely unfulfilling... / Lady Cactus: No kidding. So, uh, how do you know my brother?
Cactus (creepy) Rabid: Eh? / Cactus: Take pants off. / Rabid: Gah!! / Rabid: Man I am weirded out and pissed off! Why'd he even do that? There should be a law!! / Rabish: I think there kind of is? / Rabid: I can't try them on to make sure they fit? / Noel: Some bleeding-heart made a new law of no pants-grabbing. / Rabish: For fiendishly expensive designer pants, they're rather ill-fitting... / Rabid: Actually, they're the height of fashion. / Rabid: You're probably too young to remember when this stuff was cool the first time.
Cactus (crossing) Rabid: Ow! What a scary jerk! Came out of nowhere! / Rabid: Hey lady! That cactus got me again. / Rabish: Oh! You woke me up. I was having that strange dream... / Rabish: I'm awake?! / Rabid: Were you having that strange dream again? / Rabish: Every time I have that dream it convinces me... maybe there's something more to it? / Rabid: We should go see Dr Wormly! He'll know! / Dr Quickly: Dimensional leakage, not dreams! Somehow you're managing to preserve continuity of consciousness. Very rare. Very interesting. / Rabish: I haven't been sleeping at all? / Rabish: That dream gets weirder every time.
Cereal (meals) Rabid: Tweety Poofz are so tasty -- maybe I can finagle them into meals outside breakfast. / Rabid: Lunchtime, eh? Good thing I brought a baggie full of Tweety Poofz!! Not to be confused with the empty baggie I ate from for elevenses. / Rabid: What an exciting array of artisanal milks at this buffet brunch cereal table! / Rabid: Why would I eat a cucumber sandwich when I have all this Tweety Poofz sweetened tea to drink?! / Rabish: We're going to have to have an intervention or something... wanna come along? / Noel: Because of cereal? Sounds fun!! / Rabid: Ha ha a jittery boy like me doesn't need to eat the barbaque food nope nope. / Rabid: Man, after all that sugar and feather cereal, a midnight snack of turnip is sounding pretty good.
Cereal (endangered) Rabid: Oh "Tweety Poofz" -- my day would be pointless without several boxes of you for breakfast! / Rabish: Does your trail mix have anything OTHER than "Tweety Poofz" in it? / Rabid: Nope! / Dr Quickly: Here is the nesting habitat we built for the critically endangered SUGARWING SHRIKE / Rabish: Nature hikes are so cool! / Dr Quickly: It's empty! Something TERRIBLE must have happened! / Dr Quickly: You! You're covered in FEATHERS which is very SUSPICIOUS! / Rabid: At least I get to eat "Tweety Poofz" in prison. / Noel: Yeah, life is... pretty TWEET! / Rabid and Noel: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
 
Cereal (drink) Rabid: Tweety Poofz are so tasty, maybe there are more ways to consume them than just in a milky bowl!! / Rabid: I'll just grind some up and tamp them down! / Rabid: What do you think? / Rabish: Distressingly sweet, only suitable for horrible children with poor taste. / Rabid: Horrible children with poor taste have very little disposable income. / Rabish: I would like a bowl of your rolled coffee bean cereal, please! / Space Frog: AH THE BREAKFAST DISH THAT HAS MADE ME A VAST FORTUNE / Dr Quickly: Turns out you can grind up coffee beans and brew them in hot water to make a fabulous beverage!! / Rabish: You had better hoof it to the patent office, Doc. And prepare for disappointment.
Kittens (pie) Dr Quickly: Cease your playful swats and come with!! We don't have much time! / Noel: KITTIES! I HAVE TREATS! / Rabid: Oh, treats! / Dr Quickly: The fool. I suppose we'll have to rescue him. / Rabish: You SUPPOSE?! / Noel: Oh! You're too late to rescue your friends... unless you'd like some PIE!! / Dr Quickly: Gasp! / Rabish: Pie sounds lovely, thanks! / Dr Quickly: You filthy cannibal! / Rabish: Shush! Rabid has baked a MESSAGE into this pie... he says he's alright, and upstairs! / Rabid: Hey kitties! It turns out being exposed to heat turns us back to normal!!
Kittens (armaments) Dr Quickly: Make haste, children! Our disguises will fade while we are still in danger if you keep romping!! / Rabid: Go on without me! I'll be alright!! / Rabish: We'll come back for you, eventually! / Rabid: While my jailers are distracted I'll make my escape. / <> / Rabid: I'm covered in sticky goop! / Policecat: Ew! I can't capture you without getting it on my fur!! / Policecat: You're coming back to Kitty Prison. / Rabid: I shouldn't have picked a water soluble goop. / Rabid: I wish Dr Quickly were here to help me design weapons for the cats.
Kittens (rumble) Cat: GRRR / Other Cat: ROWR / Rabid: You cats are so loud! Knock it off!! / Rabish: The cats in this neighbourhood sure are tough. / Rabid: I can't believe you just STOOD THERE. / Rabid: This isn't a rental? / Rabish: No... I feel bad about not standing up for you, so I'm being proactive. / Rabid: Where are we going? / Rabish: Dog! Where are you taking us?! Hello? / Cat: Heh heh / Rabish: Oh no! We're headed right for a brick wall!! / Cat: Ha! Suckers! / <> / Rabish: Good thing the dog is going pretty slow. / Cat: Dammimt!!
Muffins (employee) Noel: Would you care to sample a bite-size test portion of our new SEX MUFFINS? / Rabid: Uh, I'm okay, thanks. / Noel: Aw. / Rabid: I don't need any more coffee, but maybe that cute barista is working now... / Rabid: Um, hi! / Rabish: Hey, you! Heading home for the day? What can I get you? / Rabish: Here's your quad grande whole milk no foam latte! And a complimentary sex muffin. It's kind of a promotion we're running. / Rabid: Cool, thanks! / Rabid: Well, here goes!! / Rabish: I've got the employee bathroom key!!
 
Muffins (orbital) Noel: May I interest you in a sample sex muffin? / Rabid: From you? Not likely. / Rabot: Look out! Come quickly! The muffins are breeding uncontrollably!! / Noel: Uh oh. / Noel: All the cages open?! This is a disaster!! / Dr Quickly: Well, eventually they'll run out of food and the population will stabilize. What do they eat? / Noel: GRAVITY!! / Rabid: ... And that's why we all live in freefall space stations! / Li'l Rabid: Baloney! Freefall happens BECAUSE of gravity! We're not safe here at all!! / Rabid: Son! Where are you going? / Li'l Rabid: I need to see for myself what happened to our planet... and to my MOM!!
Muffins (wasteland) Noel: Care to sample an imitation sex muffin? / Rabid: That's not funny! I hope my son is okay. / Li'l Rabid: I should have landed in one of the Great Cities my father spoke of... but all I see is desolate wasteland! / Rabish: MY SON I HAVE FOUND YOU... IN A WORLD WHERE THE WORLD IS A BLISTERED WASTELAND / Li'l Rabid: Mom?! / Rabid: It's some sort of projection coming from deep underground. I'll track it to its source and find my mother!! / Dr Quickly: Your father fled to the orbital stations with you when you were but a whelp! / Rabish: He thought our plan to make peace with the sex muffins was doomed to failure! And yet we prevailed!! / Li'l Rabid: Awesome! / Dr Quickly and Rabish: NOW JOIN US!! / Li'l Rabid: Noooo!
Sweater World (beats) Rabid: I... guess this is the place? / Rabish: That sweater looks SO GOOD on you... you must tell me where you purchased it! / Rabid: It's a secret! / Rabot: Why would a robot know of a secret store where disgusting biosweaters lurk? I will help you find their oily hairy origin... but only to destroy them. / Rabo: Oh! You made a special ROBO-biosweater just for me! Out of a pipe! / Dr Quickly: It's de rigeur if you want to hang with us. / Rabid: Ode to a sweater: oh, hey... a sweater... yeah... such it is. sure thing. digging the sweater, you bet. got it on, got it GOING on. the sweater, dig it, yeah. / Rabid: My poem was so bad it killed my sweater. / Dr Quickly: Boo / Rabish: Very bad.
Sweater World (spices) Rabid: I... guess this is the place? / Sweater: We don't sell anything you would want to buy. / Rabid: Hear me out!! / Rabish: This is authentic Sweater World cuisine? It's amazing!! / Dr Quickly: Well, now, even our own CITY isn't a monoculture... I believe this soup originates in the V-Neck Peninsula of Sweater World. / Rabid: Quite true, Doctor, but that was exceedingly rude AND you totally had to look that up on your phone thingy. / Dr Quickly: I'm so embarrassed! / Sweater: How'd the party go? / Rabid: It was great! The authentic spices were a hit! Can you recommend anything else? / Sweater: Heh, well, maybe this time some actual spices. Last time I sold you dish soap. / Rabid: Ha ha it was delicious!
Sweater World (Steak Land) Rabid: I... guess this is the place? / Rabid: I would like to fill this medication prescription and also buy this prescription sweater! / Noel: Uh, oh, yeah sure. / Rabid: Dr Quickly was right... I'm not depressed any more and it's all thanks to these pills and this sweater! / Dr Quickly: Glad to hear it! Say, I have a prescription I need to fill for being hungry and sober, should we do a run to STEAK LAND BOOZETERIA? / Dr Quickly: it's a freaking MESS in there so it's good you didn't go in. / Rabid: I think it's contraindicated anyway. / Dr Quickly: I was right! I'm full of meat and drunk as a lark thanks to my prescription I wrote for myself!!
 
Focus (stinger) Bug: Our home, destroyed by the caprice of a Large One!! / Lady Bug: Hush, child... there is nothing we can do. / Rabid: Well, time for lunch!! / Bug: I WILL GET MY REVENGE!! / Bug: I've found you at last!! Judgement is night!! / Rabish: Do you hear a tiny little noise? / Rabid: No, I don't. / Bug: The sacred sting! Treasure of my people!! Your life is in my hands, Large One!! Suffer, now! Suffer and DIE!! / Dr Quickly: So does this mean he really really LIKES my omelettes, or does he really really HATE them?
Focus (wave) <> / Rabish: That's not a COOL thing to do outside!! / Rabid: Oh! What would be cooler? / Rabish: Buying a... BOOMERANG WAVE 2000(tm) / Rabid: Awesome!! / Rabid: Radical! / Rabish: As seen on TV!! / <> / Fish: !! / <> / Rabid: It's considerably more exciting in the advertisements.
Focus (ranger) <> / Rabot: What ho! / <> / Rabot: A parks vandal!!
Treasure Map (loot) Space Frog: WHAT'S THIS OH COOL A TREASURE MAP FOR ME / Space Frog: THESE DIRECTIONS ARE UNFAMILIAR I WILL ACCEPT THE QUEST ANYWAY / Space Frog: NEVER HAD TO ENTER MY ONLINE BANKING CREDENTIALS IN A QUEST BEFORE HIGHLY REALISTIC / Space Frog: NOW I HAVE TO HOLD MY HOUSEKEY UP TO MY WEBCAM / Space Frog: I WIN / Space Frog: MY HAT IS A QUEST REWARD I BET YOU ARE JEALOUS
Treasure Map (crown) Space Frog: WHAT HO A TREASURE MAP / Space Frog: HEY ALRIGHT IT LED ME TO THE WORLD KING'S LOST TOMB NOW I CAN OBTAIN THE POWER CROWN / Dr Quickly: How did he get his hands on the map I sent you for safekeeping?! / Rabid: I TOLD you, he goes through my mail!! / Space Frog: OH LOOKS LIKE HE GOT AN INVITATION TO A FANCY PARTY AS WORLD KING MY DUTY TO CRASH THE PARTY IS CLEAR / Space Frog: WHERE'S THE PARTY IT'S A TRAP / <> / Rabid: I got the Power Crown! We have to destroy it!! / Dr Quickly: Sooo the power crown can talk? And it convinced me to not destroy it in exchange for brutal and ultimate power. Hope it doesn't turn me evil!!
 
Treasure Map (candy) Space Frog: HEY A TREASURE MAP IN MY FERRERO INTERNATIONAL SOCIETA PER AZIONI FERRERO REGISTERED TRADEMARK KINDER REGISTERED TRADEMARK SURPRISE CHOCOLATE EGG TOY SHELL / Space Frog: I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THE CANDY CANE FOREST BEFORE IT SMELLS LIKE PEE THIS MAP BETTER BE RIGHT / Signage: The treasure is LOVE and the FRIENDS who came with on this ADVENTURE / Space Frog: BALONEY I'M FURIOUS / Rabid: Ew, what's that awful smell?! / Rabish: Didn't you see the news? A parks vandal burned down the Candy Cane Forest!! / Rabid: WHAT?! / Rabid: Oh thank goodness my secret treasure stash is still safe!! / Space Frog: HA I KNEW IT WOULD WORK HAND IT OVER / Rabid: Gasp!!
Unattended Birthday (tshirt) Noel: It's my birthday! Where is everyone?! / Rabid: Maybe we can get out through the hatch? / Rabish: We're already quite late... / Dr Quickly: This was our big chance to make amends... / Rabot: Regional President Noel! Remember that elevator that broke down in your old apartment building? Years ago?! / Noel: Barely! That was years ago!! / Rabot: Well I finally got it open and amidst some bones there was this present addressed to you!! / Noel: Ooooh! / Noel: I'll never not wear it! You guys really were trying to make amends!! / International Worm: Your shirt is too offensive and you can no longer be Regional President if you keep wearing it. / Noel: FINE.
Unattended Birthday (bar) Noel: It's my birthday!! Where is everyone?! / Noel: All eight of my guests called to cancel... some of them more than once! / Noel: That does it! I'm going to sexy myself up and go to a bar!! To feel good about myself!! / Bardude: So, like, are you totally hot when you're naked? / Noel: Want to find out? / Bardude: What, you're not going to just tell me? That doesn't bode well. See you never. / Noel: What?! I was flirting!! / Noel: huck huck huck huckle sob huck
Unattended Birthday (prison) Noel: It's my birthday!! Where is everybody?! / Noel: This is TOTALLY going in my memoirs. / Newsmonsterlady: In her controversial new memoirs, ultracriminal Noel Mauvais has a lonely plea for companionship from inside her prison... / Rabid: What?! She doesn't deserve any such thing!! / <> / Noel: OW! / Noel: OW! / Rabid: Ha ha ha! / Space Frog: THE CHARGES AGAINST RABID WILL BE DROPPED FOR GOOD THE STICK WAS LONG ENOUGH TO QUALIFY BUT THE INTENT OF THE LAW IS TO PROSCRIBE HITTING PEOPLE WITH TREES AND NOEL IS EVIL ANYWAY
Bread Crabs (business trip) Rabid: I can't sleep here! It's infested with bread crabs!! / Noel: Uh, no, it looks like we're booked out of bread-crab-free rooms. Gotta keep the buffet supplied, you know?! / Rabid: So this is the only hotel in town without a bread crab problem? / Dr Quickly: You foreigners have strange ideas about what constitutes a problem, but you sure got lots of money. / Rabid: And that concludes my important international business presentation! Any questions? / Businessmonster: ... yeah, I got one. / Rabish: COFF / Rabid: Alright!! / Businessmonster: How come you're so freakin' CHIPPER?! / Rabish: zzz... zzzz...
 
Bread Crabs (contagion) Rabid: Ugh, I can't sleep. How come I'm so itchy?! / <> / Bread Crab: Hee hee! / <> / Rabid: So it must have been that dingy hotel bed I slept in!! / Dr Quickly: Yeah, uh, that's an urban myth. / Dr Quickly: The only way to get bread crabs is by "doing it" with a loaf of bread. / Rabish: Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? / Rabid: COMPLETELY CERTAIN / Bread Lady: Uh, hi Rabid. I know you dumped me but we need to talk... you need to get tested... / Rabish: What's this about?! / Rabid: It's not what it looks like!!
Bread Crabs (shopping) Rabid: Brabs are everywhere! Especially bedsheets! / Rabish: That's an awful thing to say. We're going in there. / Rabish: Do you have this pattern in a king size? / Crab: I'll go check in the back. / Rabid: Look at how she WADDLES! Probably full of hideous crab-spawn. / Rabish: What the hell is your problem? / Rabid: I'm not sleeping in that, a brab touched it. / Rabish: Stop using that awful word! And MOVE OUT!! / Rabid: Is there a pill or something you can give me to make me not racist? Rabish kicked me out of the house. / Dr Quickly: I've got just the thing!! / <> / Rabid: I'm cured!! / Dr Quickly: Ha ha not yet! Hold still!!
Dangerous Shoes (murderboots) Rabish: Are those shoes safe? / Rabid: Sure! Maybe! / Rabid: Anyway, see you later!! / Rabish: Yeah. / <> / Rabid: WHOOPS!! / Rabish: So I called an ambulance! / <> / Rabid: Great, thanks! / Rabid: But this is how I get home! / Rabot: Everyone who goes NEAR those boots gets cut to ribbons, so we've just cordoned it off until we figure out what to do. / Rabid: How am I supposed to trade 'em in for store credit if they're encased in concrete? / Space Frog: HOW ARE THOSE MURDERBOOTS WORKING OUT FOR YOU NO REFUNDS EXCHANGES OR LIABILITY YOU SIGNED THE WAIVER WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU TODAY / Rabid: DO you have anything in a soft, safe look?
Dangerous Shoes (broadcast) Rabish: You gotta hide me!! These shoes are DANGEROUS!! / Lynch Mob: WHERE'D SHE GO!! WE MUST FIND HER!! / Rabid: If they cause you so much bother... / Rabish: Why not get rid of them? They cost me my SOUL!! Check it out, though. / Rabid: It's like your feet have become the sole beacon of light in my nightmare dark life... Oh, oh... those shoes. / Rabot: We interrupt all programming to bring you an important news bulletin! Citizen Rabid has TURNED IN the fabulous shoes!! The shoes and the monster responsible for wearing them are now in a secure detention facility where they will be safe from harm thank goodness. / <> / Rabot: We now conclude all programming forever to broadcast on all channels only ever live footage of the shoes! Thank you and goodnight! / Rabid: Oh man I'm glad I'm taping this!!
Dangerous Shoes (or ajax) Dr Quickly: Seven league boots! An artifact of folk mythology given true existence by my engineering ingenuity!! Try 'em out!! / Rabid: Seven leagues... so I should end up in, like, Milton? / Dr Quickly: That sounds about right. Be sure to lace them up tight!! / <> / Dr Quickly: I must have made a mistake in my calculations! It was an accident!! / Copmonster: Save it for the judge, buddy. / Dr Quickly: I must have made a mistake in my calculations! It was an accident!! / Ultrarobojudge: YOU BUILT ME TO BE THE PERFECT JUDGE... SO THERE IS NO IRONY THAT YOU NOW FACE ME AS A VERY GUILTY MURDERER BECAUSE I HAVE NO BIAS. / Dr Quickly: I put the agreed-upon large amount of cash in your bag here. / Ultrarobojudge: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE... / Dr Quickly: Okay, well, thanks.
 

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