You're browsing the archives of Name Removed.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
| Cactus (thief) | Cactus: Where you goin', sugar? / Rabid: Hey! He stole my wallet! / Rabish: I dunno, something about you seems... different. Sexily different.
/ Cactus: Well I'm certainly not an identity thief!! / Rabid: GASP!
/ Rabish: GASP!
/ Cactus: GASP! / Rabid: I'll get my revenge, you jerk!
/ Cactus: Ha! I've heard THAT one before! / Rabid: That was strangely unfulfilling...
/ Lady Cactus: No kidding. So, uh, how do you know my brother? http://nameremoved.com/comics/421/ |
| Cactus (creepy) | Rabid: Eh? / Cactus: Take pants off.
/ Rabid: Gah!! / Rabid: Man I am weirded out and pissed off! Why'd he even do that? There should be a law!!
/ Rabish: I think there kind of is? / Rabid: I can't try them on to make sure they fit?
/ Noel: Some bleeding-heart made a new law of no pants-grabbing. / Rabish: For fiendishly expensive designer pants, they're rather ill-fitting...
/ Rabid: Actually, they're the height of fashion. / Rabid: You're probably too young to remember when this stuff was cool the first time. http://nameremoved.com/comics/422/ |
| Cactus (crossing) | Rabid: Ow! What a scary jerk! Came out of nowhere! / Rabid: Hey lady! That cactus got me again.
/ Rabish: Oh! You woke me up. I was having that strange dream... / Rabish: I'm awake?!
/ Rabid: Were you having that strange dream again? / Rabish: Every time I have that dream it convinces me... maybe there's something more to it?
/ Rabid: We should go see Dr Wormly! He'll know! / Dr Quickly: Dimensional leakage, not dreams! Somehow you're managing to preserve continuity of consciousness. Very rare. Very interesting.
/ Rabish: I haven't been sleeping at all? / Rabish: That dream gets weirder every time. http://nameremoved.com/comics/423/ |
| Cereal (meals) | Rabid: Tweety Poofz are so tasty -- maybe I can finagle them into meals outside breakfast. / Rabid: Lunchtime, eh? Good thing I brought a baggie full of Tweety Poofz!! Not to be confused with the empty baggie I ate from for elevenses. / Rabid: What an exciting array of artisanal milks at this buffet brunch cereal table! / Rabid: Why would I eat a cucumber sandwich when I have all this Tweety Poofz sweetened tea to drink?! / Rabish: We're going to have to have an intervention or something... wanna come along?
/ Noel: Because of cereal? Sounds fun!!
/ Rabid: Ha ha a jittery boy like me doesn't need to eat the barbaque food nope nope. / Rabid: Man, after all that sugar and feather cereal, a midnight snack of turnip is sounding pretty good. http://nameremoved.com/comics/424/ |
| Cereal (endangered) | Rabid: Oh "Tweety Poofz" -- my day would be pointless without several boxes of you for breakfast! / Rabish: Does your trail mix have anything OTHER than "Tweety Poofz" in it?
/ Rabid: Nope! / Dr Quickly: Here is the nesting habitat we built for the critically endangered SUGARWING SHRIKE
/ Rabish: Nature hikes are so cool! / Dr Quickly: It's empty! Something TERRIBLE must have happened! / Dr Quickly: You! You're covered in FEATHERS which is very SUSPICIOUS! / Rabid: At least I get to eat "Tweety Poofz" in prison.
/ Noel: Yeah, life is... pretty TWEET!
/ Rabid and Noel: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha http://nameremoved.com/comics/425/ |
| Cereal (drink) | Rabid: Tweety Poofz are so tasty, maybe there are more ways to consume them than just in a milky bowl!! / Rabid: I'll just grind some up and tamp them down! / Rabid: What do you think?
/ Rabish: Distressingly sweet, only suitable for horrible children with poor taste. / Rabid: Horrible children with poor taste have very little disposable income. / Rabish: I would like a bowl of your rolled coffee bean cereal, please!
/ Space Frog: AH THE BREAKFAST DISH THAT HAS MADE ME A VAST FORTUNE / Dr Quickly: Turns out you can grind up coffee beans and brew them in hot water to make a fabulous beverage!!
/ Rabish: You had better hoof it to the patent office, Doc. And prepare for disappointment. http://nameremoved.com/comics/426/ |
| Kittens (pie) | Dr Quickly: Cease your playful swats and come with!! We don't have much time! / Noel: KITTIES! I HAVE TREATS!
/ Rabid: Oh, treats! / Dr Quickly: The fool. I suppose we'll have to rescue him.
/ Rabish: You SUPPOSE?! / Noel: Oh! You're too late to rescue your friends... unless you'd like some PIE!!
/ Dr Quickly: Gasp!
/ Rabish: Pie sounds lovely, thanks! / Dr Quickly: You filthy cannibal!
/ Rabish: Shush! Rabid has baked a MESSAGE into this pie... he says he's alright, and upstairs! / Rabid: Hey kitties! It turns out being exposed to heat turns us back to normal!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/427/ |
| Kittens (armaments) | Dr Quickly: Make haste, children! Our disguises will fade while we are still in danger if you keep romping!! / Rabid: Go on without me! I'll be alright!!
/ Rabish: We'll come back for you, eventually! / Rabid: While my jailers are distracted I'll make my escape.
/ < http://nameremoved.com/comics/428/ |
| Kittens (rumble) | Cat: GRRR
/ Other Cat: ROWR / Rabid: You cats are so loud! Knock it off!! / Rabish: The cats in this neighbourhood sure are tough.
/ Rabid: I can't believe you just STOOD THERE. / Rabid: This isn't a rental?
/ Rabish: No... I feel bad about not standing up for you, so I'm being proactive. / Rabid: Where are we going?
/ Rabish: Dog! Where are you taking us?! Hello?
/ Cat: Heh heh / Rabish: Oh no! We're headed right for a brick wall!!
/ Cat: Ha! Suckers! / < http://nameremoved.com/comics/429/ |
| Muffins (employee) | Noel: Would you care to sample a bite-size test portion of our new SEX MUFFINS?
/ Rabid: Uh, I'm okay, thanks.
/ Noel: Aw. / Rabid: I don't need any more coffee, but maybe that cute barista is working now... / Rabid: Um, hi!
/ Rabish: Hey, you! Heading home for the day? What can I get you? / Rabish: Here's your quad grande whole milk no foam latte! And a complimentary sex muffin. It's kind of a promotion we're running.
/ Rabid: Cool, thanks! / Rabid: Well, here goes!! / Rabish: I've got the employee bathroom key!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/430/ |
| Muffins (orbital) | Noel: May I interest you in a sample sex muffin?
/ Rabid: From you? Not likely. / Rabot: Look out! Come quickly! The muffins are breeding uncontrollably!!
/ Noel: Uh oh. / Noel: All the cages open?! This is a disaster!! / Dr Quickly: Well, eventually they'll run out of food and the population will stabilize. What do they eat?
/ Noel: GRAVITY!! / Rabid: ... And that's why we all live in freefall space stations!
/ Li'l Rabid: Baloney! Freefall happens BECAUSE of gravity! We're not safe here at all!! / Rabid: Son! Where are you going?
/ Li'l Rabid: I need to see for myself what happened to our planet... and to my MOM!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/431/ |
| Muffins (wasteland) | Noel: Care to sample an imitation sex muffin?
/ Rabid: That's not funny! I hope my son is okay. / Li'l Rabid: I should have landed in one of the Great Cities my father spoke of... but all I see is desolate wasteland! / Rabish: MY SON I HAVE FOUND YOU... IN A WORLD WHERE THE WORLD IS A BLISTERED WASTELAND
/ Li'l Rabid: Mom?! / Rabid: It's some sort of projection coming from deep underground. I'll track it to its source and find my mother!! / Dr Quickly: Your father fled to the orbital stations with you when you were but a whelp!
/ Rabish: He thought our plan to make peace with the sex muffins was doomed to failure! And yet we prevailed!!
/ Li'l Rabid: Awesome! / Dr Quickly and Rabish: NOW JOIN US!!
/ Li'l Rabid: Noooo! http://nameremoved.com/comics/432/ |
| Sweater World (beats) | Rabid: I... guess this is the place? / Rabish: That sweater looks SO GOOD on you... you must tell me where you purchased it!
/ Rabid: It's a secret! / Rabot: Why would a robot know of a secret store where disgusting biosweaters lurk? I will help you find their oily hairy origin... but only to destroy them. / Rabo: Oh! You made a special ROBO-biosweater just for me! Out of a pipe!
/ Dr Quickly: It's de rigeur if you want to hang with us. / Rabid: Ode to a sweater: oh, hey... a sweater... yeah... such it is. sure thing. digging the sweater, you bet. got it on, got it GOING on. the sweater, dig it, yeah. / Rabid: My poem was so bad it killed my sweater.
/ Dr Quickly: Boo
/ Rabish: Very bad. http://nameremoved.com/comics/433/ |
| Sweater World (spices) | Rabid: I... guess this is the place? / Sweater: We don't sell anything you would want to buy.
/ Rabid: Hear me out!! / Rabish: This is authentic Sweater World cuisine? It's amazing!!
/ Dr Quickly: Well, now, even our own CITY isn't a monoculture... I believe this soup originates in the V-Neck Peninsula of Sweater World. / Rabid: Quite true, Doctor, but that was exceedingly rude AND you totally had to look that up on your phone thingy.
/ Dr Quickly: I'm so embarrassed! / Sweater: How'd the party go?
/ Rabid: It was great! The authentic spices were a hit! Can you recommend anything else?
/ Sweater: Heh, well, maybe this time some actual spices. Last time I sold you dish soap.
/ Rabid: Ha ha it was delicious! http://nameremoved.com/comics/434/ |
| Sweater World (Steak Land) | Rabid: I... guess this is the place? / Rabid: I would like to fill this medication prescription and also buy this prescription sweater!
/ Noel: Uh, oh, yeah sure. / Rabid: Dr Quickly was right... I'm not depressed any more and it's all thanks to these pills and this sweater! / Dr Quickly: Glad to hear it! Say, I have a prescription I need to fill for being hungry and sober, should we do a run to STEAK LAND BOOZETERIA? / Dr Quickly: it's a freaking MESS in there so it's good you didn't go in.
/ Rabid: I think it's contraindicated anyway. / Dr Quickly: I was right! I'm full of meat and drunk as a lark thanks to my prescription I wrote for myself!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/435/ |
| Focus (stinger) | Bug: Our home, destroyed by the caprice of a Large One!!
/ Lady Bug: Hush, child... there is nothing we can do. / Rabid: Well, time for lunch!!
/ Bug: I WILL GET MY REVENGE!! / Bug: I've found you at last!! Judgement is night!!
/ Rabish: Do you hear a tiny little noise? / Rabid: No, I don't.
/ Bug: The sacred sting! Treasure of my people!! Your life is in my hands, Large One!! Suffer, now! Suffer and DIE!! / Dr Quickly: So does this mean he really really LIKES my omelettes, or does he really really HATE them? http://nameremoved.com/comics/436/ |
| Focus (wave) | < http://nameremoved.com/comics/437/ |
| Focus (ranger) | < http://nameremoved.com/comics/438/ |
| Treasure Map (loot) | Space Frog: WHAT'S THIS OH COOL A TREASURE MAP FOR ME / Space Frog: THESE DIRECTIONS ARE UNFAMILIAR I WILL ACCEPT THE QUEST ANYWAY / Space Frog: NEVER HAD TO ENTER MY ONLINE BANKING CREDENTIALS IN A QUEST BEFORE HIGHLY REALISTIC / Space Frog: NOW I HAVE TO HOLD MY HOUSEKEY UP TO MY WEBCAM / Space Frog: I WIN / Space Frog: MY HAT IS A QUEST REWARD I BET YOU ARE JEALOUS http://nameremoved.com/comics/439/ |
| Treasure Map (crown) | Space Frog: WHAT HO A TREASURE MAP / Space Frog: HEY ALRIGHT IT LED ME TO THE WORLD KING'S LOST TOMB NOW I CAN OBTAIN THE POWER CROWN / Dr Quickly: How did he get his hands on the map I sent you for safekeeping?!
/ Rabid: I TOLD you, he goes through my mail!! / Space Frog: OH LOOKS LIKE HE GOT AN INVITATION TO A FANCY PARTY AS WORLD KING MY DUTY TO CRASH THE PARTY IS CLEAR / Space Frog: WHERE'S THE PARTY IT'S A TRAP
/ < http://nameremoved.com/comics/440/ |
| Treasure Map (candy) | Space Frog: HEY A TREASURE MAP IN MY FERRERO INTERNATIONAL SOCIETA PER AZIONI FERRERO REGISTERED TRADEMARK KINDER REGISTERED TRADEMARK SURPRISE CHOCOLATE EGG TOY SHELL / Space Frog: I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO THE CANDY CANE FOREST BEFORE IT SMELLS LIKE PEE THIS MAP BETTER BE RIGHT / Signage: The treasure is LOVE and the FRIENDS who came with on this ADVENTURE
/ Space Frog: BALONEY I'M FURIOUS / Rabid: Ew, what's that awful smell?!
/ Rabish: Didn't you see the news? A parks vandal burned down the Candy Cane Forest!!
/ Rabid: WHAT?! / Rabid: Oh thank goodness my secret treasure stash is still safe!! / Space Frog: HA I KNEW IT WOULD WORK HAND IT OVER
/ Rabid: Gasp!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/441/ |
| Unattended Birthday (tshirt) | Noel: It's my birthday! Where is everyone?! / Rabid: Maybe we can get out through the hatch?
/ Rabish: We're already quite late...
/ Dr Quickly: This was our big chance to make amends... / Rabot: Regional President Noel! Remember that elevator that broke down in your old apartment building? Years ago?!
/ Noel: Barely! That was years ago!! / Rabot: Well I finally got it open and amidst some bones there was this present addressed to you!!
/ Noel: Ooooh! / Noel: I'll never not wear it! You guys really were trying to make amends!! / International Worm: Your shirt is too offensive and you can no longer be Regional President if you keep wearing it.
/ Noel: FINE. http://nameremoved.com/comics/442/ |
| Unattended Birthday (bar) | Noel: It's my birthday!! Where is everyone?! / Noel: All eight of my guests called to cancel... some of them more than once! / Noel: That does it! I'm going to sexy myself up and go to a bar!! To feel good about myself!! / Bardude: So, like, are you totally hot when you're naked?
/ Noel: Want to find out? / Bardude: What, you're not going to just tell me? That doesn't bode well. See you never.
/ Noel: What?! I was flirting!! / Noel: huck huck huck huckle sob huck http://nameremoved.com/comics/443/ |
| Unattended Birthday (prison) | Noel: It's my birthday!! Where is everybody?! / Noel: This is TOTALLY going in my memoirs. / Newsmonsterlady: In her controversial new memoirs, ultracriminal Noel Mauvais has a lonely plea for companionship from inside her prison...
/ Rabid: What?! She doesn't deserve any such thing!! / < http://nameremoved.com/comics/444/ |
| Bread Crabs (business trip) | Rabid: I can't sleep here! It's infested with bread crabs!! / Noel: Uh, no, it looks like we're booked out of bread-crab-free rooms. Gotta keep the buffet supplied, you know?! / Rabid: So this is the only hotel in town without a bread crab problem?
/ Dr Quickly: You foreigners have strange ideas about what constitutes a problem, but you sure got lots of money. / Rabid: And that concludes my important international business presentation! Any questions? / Businessmonster: ... yeah, I got one.
/ Rabish: COFF
/ Rabid: Alright!! / Businessmonster: How come you're so freakin' CHIPPER?!
/ Rabish: zzz... zzzz... http://nameremoved.com/comics/445/ |
| Bread Crabs (contagion) | Rabid: Ugh, I can't sleep. How come I'm so itchy?!
/ < http://nameremoved.com/comics/446/ |
| Bread Crabs (shopping) | Rabid: Brabs are everywhere! Especially bedsheets!
/ Rabish: That's an awful thing to say. We're going in there. / Rabish: Do you have this pattern in a king size?
/ Crab: I'll go check in the back. / Rabid: Look at how she WADDLES! Probably full of hideous crab-spawn.
/ Rabish: What the hell is your problem? / Rabid: I'm not sleeping in that, a brab touched it.
/ Rabish: Stop using that awful word! And MOVE OUT!! / Rabid: Is there a pill or something you can give me to make me not racist? Rabish kicked me out of the house.
/ Dr Quickly: I've got just the thing!! / < http://nameremoved.com/comics/447/ |
| Dangerous Shoes (murderboots) | Rabish: Are those shoes safe?
/ Rabid: Sure! Maybe! / Rabid: Anyway, see you later!!
/ Rabish: Yeah.
/ < http://nameremoved.com/comics/448/ |
| Dangerous Shoes (broadcast) | Rabish: You gotta hide me!! These shoes are DANGEROUS!! / Lynch Mob: WHERE'D SHE GO!! WE MUST FIND HER!!
/ Rabid: If they cause you so much bother...
/ Rabish: Why not get rid of them? They cost me my SOUL!! Check it out, though. / Rabid: It's like your feet have become the sole beacon of light in my nightmare dark life... Oh, oh... those shoes. / Rabot: We interrupt all programming to bring you an important news bulletin! Citizen Rabid has TURNED IN the fabulous shoes!! The shoes and the monster responsible for wearing them are now in a secure detention facility where they will be safe from harm thank goodness. / < http://nameremoved.com/comics/449/ |
| Dangerous Shoes (or ajax) | Dr Quickly: Seven league boots! An artifact of folk mythology given true existence by my engineering ingenuity!! Try 'em out!! / Rabid: Seven leagues... so I should end up in, like, Milton?
/ Dr Quickly: That sounds about right. Be sure to lace them up tight!! / < http://nameremoved.com/comics/450/ |
Archive Page:
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 >>