You're browsing the archives of Name Removed.
You can search these comics too.
show: [ full transcriptions | abridged transcriptions | just the first line ]
|Settling with regret (not twice)||Rabid: I wish I were on the OTHER colony ship, with Rabish... this planet sure looks boring. / Dr Quickly: Come on! Muster some excitement! This is the first meal grown in the new soil of our new home!! / Rabid: I guess a pear is a meal... / Dr Quickly: Hootie-hoo! The Museum of Colonization closing because of a chronic attendance deficit! / Rabid: Just being alive is a miserable enough reminder of our tedious life here. / Dr Quickly: And now, the first message from our sister ship's colony on SEXULON PRIME! / Rabid: Finally a break from the monotony. / Rabish: Sexulon Prime is so fun all the time always! It never stops being fun!! / Rabid: Hell's ass! No fair!! / Dr Quickly: Ha ha! We fooled everybody into thinking there was a second colony ship!! / Rabish: Please don't forget to give me double pear ration for dinner tonight like you promised if I helped...|
|Settling with regret (hung)||Rabid: Well, I guess this crummy planet will have to do... / Rabid: I caught bigger fish back home. / Rabid: Sure, it's fine... but remember that Pizzeria Libretto place, back home? Oh man! / Rabish: Doctor Quickly says we should call THIS place home... / Rabid: I was so sure I packed the third volume! It must be back home. / Rabid: Hey Doc, do you have the third volume of Rising Up and Rising Down? I guess I can wait until we get back home. / Dr Quickly: You know, we're not going to go back, right? / Dr Quickly: GCU An Occurrence on Owl Creek Bridge crash-landed. You non-essential crew have been in a sim while I try to stave off life support failure. / Rabid: But surely we'll be rescued by our sister ship, GCU Unforshadowed Twist Ending!!|
|Breaking the Fourth Panel: Mundane Allegory||<
|Seasonal Gift (head)||Rabish: Here is a seasonal gift for you! Wow! / Rabid: Wow! / Rabid: It's... a head. / Rabish: To replace your current really ugly one!! / Neighbour: Hey, cutie! Are you new to the neighbourhood? / Rabid: Heyyyy!! / Rabish: I am regretting your gift. / Rabid: Naw, I just got rid of it. I mean, thank you? But it wasn't right for me. / Rabish: You're a nice boy! / Dr Quickly: Hey Rabish! Check out the wicked awesome present Rabid got me for Seasonal Gift!! / Rabish: Uhh... hm. / Rabish: Wow, it's a GREAT box! I can't wait to use it!! / Rabot: No! THIS is the gift! This thing here!!|
|Seasonal Gift (bang)||Rabish: Here is a seasonal gift for you! Wow!!
/ Rabid: Wow!! / Rabid: An antique bullet gun?
/ Rabish: Dr Quickly modified it! Try thinking of something you want, and firing! / Rabid: A glass of milk?
|Seasonal Gift (junior)||Rabish: Here is a seasonal gift for you! Wow! / Rabid: Wow! / Rabid: A baby! We're having a baby!! For seasonal gift!! / Rabish: Hurry up and finish unwrapping it!! Poor thing. / Junior: Hi mommy! I made a snake out of drawing on some paper!! / Rabish: That's pretty good! / Rabid: Isn't it suspicious how the baby store burned down right when Junior's warranty ran out? / Rabish: The news says there is evidence of foul play! / Rabid: Junior makes horrible cake!! If only we could return him. / Rabish: It's a very bad cake. / Junior: There's a safety recall on me? This is the worst seasonal gift card my parents ever sent.|
|Dolphin Creeps (necklace)||Rabid: That's not a bad idea! / Lars the Dolphin: No! It's a GREAT idea!! / Shopkeep: What? A funny-acting dog is behind me? I see no dog in this direction. / Rabish: It's so beautiful! How could you afford it?! / Rabid: Hard, honest work!! / Rabid: She loved it! But I totally forgot to also grab that ring you wanted. / Lars the Dolphin: WORM! MAGGOT! CRAWLING FILTH!! / Lars the Dolphin: I'm sorry I yelled at you! I have another plan!! / Rabid: Better be pretty good. / Shopkeep: Oh! Where?! Someone else saw it earlier!|
|Dolphin Creeps (odds)||Rabid: That's not a bad idea!! / Lars the Dolphin: No, it's a GREAT idea!! / Rabish: What are you doing with all those Dolphin Raffle tickets? / Rabid: I'm going to WIN with them is what I'm doing!! / Rabish: Uh, is Rabid there? / Dude: Who? Listen, sugar, I'm the only dude living here. / Rabish: There you are! / Rabid: Hey. / Rabid: You said I'd win a buck thirty five on each two dollar ticket, but I'm flat broke now. / Rabish: On average, and I thought you didn't believe me. / Lars the Dolphin: Can I interest you in some raffle tickets? / Dr Quickly: You look pretty wealthy so this must not be a scam!|
|Dolphin Creeps (lunch)||Rabid: That's not a bad idea! / Lars the Dolphin: No, it's a GREAT idea!! / Rabid: Where'd he go? / Lars the Dolphin: Hee hee! / Rabid: Hmm / Lars the Dolphin: You can't fine me! / Rabid: I give up, it's time for lunch -- I'll eat a cheese sandwich now. / Lars the Dolphin: BYE!! / Rabid: I'll swim off to lunch! Maybe I'll find an island! / Rabid: Wow! There are fruit here! I'll eat these for dessert!|
|Trees, ew (birthday)||Rabid: Oh gross, trees. / Rabish: Didn't need to see that. / Space Frog: HA HA FOOLED YOU ABOUT TREES / Rabid: Oh! You found us!! / Space Frog: HEY LOOKS LIKE PARTY SUPPLIES / Rabid: This is what parks ranger supplies always look like. / Space Frog: OH WHAT A COINCIDENCE I AM BEING INVITED BACK TO THE RANGER STATION ON MY BIRTHDAY / Space Frog: HELLO I AM GOING TO CUT MY BIRTHDAY CAKE WITH THIS KNIFE I FOUND JUST OUTSIDE / Space Frog: IT IS BUFFET LUNCH EVERY LUNCHTIME THIS FRAME JOB WAS THE BEST PRESENT I EVER GOT / Rabish: Glad you liked it!|
|Trees, ew (fruit)||<
|Trees, ew (cats)||Rabid: There is a cat on the trees. / Rabish: That's no good. It looks really dumb. / Rabid: Why are Rabish and I the only ones who see the cats on everything? / Dr Quickly: Brain damage. / Dr Quickly: Did it work? / Rabid: It just made the cats go lower. / Rabid: No, this is even worse. / Dr Quickly: I'll keep trying!! / Rabid: WOW! This isn't working at all! / Dr Quickly: Arrgh! / Rabid: I am glad Dr Quickly fixed us and now the trees aren't stupid to look at. / Rabish: Because no cat is on them and cats are gone.|
|Letterbox (kingdom)||Rabid: Is anyone in there? / Rabid: Oh! Someone mailed me a kingdom!! / Rabid: Darn it they colonized my dining room table. / Little Guy: I have a sword, and courage... I'll make my fortune as an adventurer! / Little Gal: Remember me, handsome!! / Little Guy: A dragon!! / Rabish: There's that weird flavour again... / Rabid: Maybe we should eat in the kitchen.|
|Letterbox (system)||Rabid: Hello? Is anyone in there? / <
|Letterbox (package)||Rabid: Hello? Is anyone in there? / Rabid: That's a lot of stamps... was this really cheaper? / Dr Quickly: Well don't just stand there! Rabish and Rabot are in there too!! / Dr Quickly: Yay! Unpack the photos we took and the souvenirs we bought!! / Dr Quickly: Keep going! / Rabish: We got one of these in stone, too!! / Rabot: I helped pick it out! / Rabot: And this is the beach we went to!|
|Prophecy (horselover)||Noel: And then they have to put the dollar on the HEDONIC STANDARD! / Rabid: I don't really read science fiction... / Noel: SPECULATIVE fiction!! / G-man: We, the government, would like to talk to you about your supposedly fictional writing. / Noel: What, my sci-fi crap? / Noel: Heyyy, that looks like a TRUTH EGG like in my story cycle "The Hyperultralon Contribution"! / Truth Egg: Good call. / G-man: Detect the truth, Truth Egg!! / Other G-man: Go go go! / Noel: So it turns out I'm just a lucky guesser and not actually seeing the future. / Rabid: What's the difference? / Dr Quickly: We must harness the power of terrible science fiction with cautious responsibility. / G-man: Can I try the egg thing now?|
|Prophecy (clonk)||Noel: the king dreams salt / she has soft hands helpless / sparkle wake mornings prisoner / young translucent ghost worryed
/ Noel: I think that's my best one yet!! / <
|Prophecy (cellphone)||Rabid: Pretty cool, isn't it?
/ Noel: What's next, a phone you have a significant yet troubled romantic relationship with? / Phone: Is something wrong? Do you want to talk?
/ Noel: No... I... just can't sleep. / Rabid: Hey, there you are! I've been trying to reach you! Didn't you get a cellphone?
/ Noel: We're... taking a break. / Rabid: You have to talk to him. You guys have something really special.
/ Noel: I know. / Noel: I came back! I'm ready to commit!!
/ Phone: There's something I need to tell y-- / <
|Abandoned Ship (coffee)||Rabid: What's this? A prow!! A discovery, a find! / Dr Quickly: Extraordinary! Quite certainly a Coffee Ship, the stuff of ancient legend! / Rabid: Wow!! / Dr Quickly: Long ago, these ships would cross the Moist Desert, with huge vacwm flasks keeping their treasure piping hot. / Rabid: I wonder what Coffee was made out of, to be so valued in trade. / Dr Quickly: We suppose no ships have been found before because of the terrible effect of corrosion on the vacwm chamber. / Rabish: There could be Coffee inside?!|
|Abandoned Ship (diaspora)||Dr Quickly: Hey Rabid! Come on, we're going to get some Coffee out of this ship!! / Rabid: Hang on, I found something weird!! / Rabish: I bet it's a SPACESHIP!! / Rabid: An ANCIENT spaceship!! / Dr Quickly: Well DUH! / Dr Quickly: Don't you remember coming here in that thing? It was only a few million years ago!! / Rabish: I'm beating the level!! / Rabid: Get some points, too! / Rabid: What's THIS weird thing? / Rabish: I like your exhibit about Coffee! / Dr Quickly: I've got a treat for you kids in the cafeteria!! / Rabish: Wow! This is real Coffee?! / Dr Quickly: And it's the COMBO PACK that comes with a bag of nuts!! / Rabid: I'm so excited!!|
|Abandoned Ship (hot coffee)||Rabid: Oh wow, is this a secret bonus level? I found a ship!
|Seedy Bus-Stop (speciality store)||<
|Seedy Bus-Stop (swipe)||Dr Quickly: Hey, this isn't my stop!! / Dr Quickly: Phew, a rough neighbourhood! Good thing I saw a coffee shop logo I recognized instantly! / Dr Quickly: I'll have whatever my frequent buyer card says is my usual. / Dr Quickly: I'm pretty sure my card doesn't think an empty, smelly cup is my usual drink. / Dr Quickly: Thanks for the card!!
|Seedy Bus-Stop (popeye's)||<
|Desperaffin (ringtone)||Rabid: How'd I end up here?
/ Walrus: HAROONK!! / <
|Desperaffin (social obligation)||Rabid: Wh--how'd I end up on a walrus? / Walrus: HAROONK! / Rabid: Yipes!! / Rabid: I think I see torchlight! / Dr Quickly: Come in, come in! Dinner's just ready!! / Dr Quickly: Rabid, could we speak a moment in private? / Rabid: Sure! / Dr Quickly: It's not cool to bring my ex as your date.|
|Desperaffin (hole)||Rabid: Oh my head -- where am I? / Rabish: Grab my hand!!
/ Dr Quickly: Hurry, we're going to dive! / Dr Quickly: Thank goodness the door's still open!! / Dr Quickly: Hey we're back!!
/ Rabot: Hurry up! / <
|Forceful Space (jazz)||Rabid: Ha ha! Rocketing away!! / Horny: Little monster, your forceful rocketpack disturbs my slumber. / Rabid: Eat it, old man!! / Horny: Instead of reporting you to the truant officer, you will have tea with me in my Space Cave and learn some manners. / Rabid: Balls! I'm too punk rock for this! / Rabid: YOU'RE "Horny Deviltoad", the King of Punk Rock? / Horny: As you grow up, you will discover Punk Rock is useless. / Horny: Let me teach you to play the Space Clarinet. / Rabid: Well... okay. / Horny: That's right! The only truly revolutionary music is BEBOP!!|
|Forceful Space (borderline)||Rabid: Ha ha! Rocketing away!! / Rabid: Cool! I'll smash through it! Blam!! / Rabid: This is so cool!! / Rabid: Whoa, who's that? / Rabid: Wait, where are you going?!|
|Forceful Space (mission)||Rabid: Ha ha! Rocketing away! Zoom!! / Rabid: ... / Rabid: Man, there is really not a single interesting thing out here. / << boop a doop doop >> / Dr Quickly: Welcome home! Was the mission a success?! / Rabid: The MISSION!! Ha ha whoops!|
<< 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 >>