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| Rabish's Mistake (protocol) | Rabish: WHAT HAVE I DONE!! / Dr Quickly: Yeah, you filled it out wrong. That's why it says to use a pencil. / Dr Quickly: Here, just have a new form.
/ Rabish: Really? They said I only had one chance! / Dr Quickly: That's part of the protocol, telling people that. You get as many chances as you need. / Dr Quickly: But don't mess up because this is your LAST CHANCE!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/571/ |
| Rabish's Mistake (magnitude) | Rabish: Wait, ten to the MINUS thirty? / Dr Quickly: FLIPPING LAUNCH SWITCH... IS GO!! / Rabish: Stop the launch!! / Rabid: Come back, Mission Control... 10-84, please copy. Whatever you put in my tank really set the hammer down. / Rabid: Got the moon in my back door two weeks before I should've LANDED on it. http://nameremoved.com/comics/572/ |
| Rabish's Mistake (baking) | Rabish: Did I leave the oven on? / Rabish: Hey, they look great!! / << CRACK / Rabish: Hmm... / Rabid: You sure about this?
/ Rabish: Go get 'em, tiger!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/573/ |
| The Circus of Dr Quickly (travel) | Noel: Nuts to this ridiculous employment. End of this season, I'm retiring. ... or I could just run away... / Rabid: Any Cokes left? / Rabish: Nope! / Dr Quickly: This fine hamlet will be well served by a circus. And we could use some supplies... http://nameremoved.com/comics/574/ |
| The Circus of Dr Quickly (setting up) | Rabish: Have a free pass!!
/ Li'l Beefy: Gosh thanks! / Big Beefy: What you got there son? / Li'l Beefy: A pretty lady gave me a pass to the circus! / Big Beefy: HEH HEH / Dr Quickly: We know perfectly well you're ferocious, but the audience wants BLOOD. Please put on the lower jaw as well. / Rabot: Yeah... I know how it is. You know what I found works on stage fright?
/ Noel: ... drinking ...
/ Rabot: Drinking! http://nameremoved.com/comics/575/ |
| The Circus of Dr Quickly (performance) | Rabish: He took your pass? / Rabish: Then you are my GUEST! / Dr Quickly: Step right up! Durst anyone challenge... / Dr Quickly: THE DOOM FROG!!
/ Space Frog: RAAR / Big Beefy: Aye. / Dr Quickly: And here, and here. / Rabish: Do you like thrill rides?
/ Li'l Beefy: I don't know!! / Rabish: Set it to "actually fun"!
/ Rabid: Yeah1 / Rabid: NOEL! TIME TO PACK UP!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/576/ |
| Classic Transmitter: A bomb! (food) | [[ Devil has a gift for Boy! Boy is delighted. ]] / [[ Boy tries to eat the gift. Devil suggests that it might be tastier if properly prepared. ]] / << BLEND BLEND >> / << MASH MASH >> / [[ Boy wonders if the seeds are edible. ]] / [[ Boy realizes he should have melted the bomb in a bowl. ]] / << BOIL BOIL >> / [[ Devil wonders if the rind should have been peeled off before grating. ]] / << BAKE BAKE >> / << PEEL PEEL >> / [[ Devil suspects Boy is feeling pretty silly now! ]] / [[ Boy finds the food to be exquisitely spicy. ]] http://nameremoved.com/comics/577/ |
| Classic Transmitter: A bomb! (garden) | [[ Devil has a gift for Boy! Boy is delighted. ]] / [[ Boy planted the gift. ]] / [[ Boy reads a book while Devil discovers the misuse of his gift. ]] / << YANK YANK >> / << BRUSH >> / << FIRE >> / << WATER WATER DOUSE >> / [[ Devil is not amused by the water's effect. ]] / << FIRE >> / << FIRE >> / << FIRE WATER >> / << FIRE >>
/ [[ Boy is excited about his garden. ]] http://nameremoved.com/comics/578/ |
| Classic Transmitter: A bomb! (advertisement) | [[ Boy gets an AWESOME present. ]] / [[ Boy stunts up the scene. Onlookers gasp. A logo appears. ]] / [[ More logos. Stunts. ]] / [[ Boy totally swipes Devil's DR INK in the middle of a stunt even! ]] / [[ Perfect landing. ]] / [[ The bomb explodes! Boy dies -- ROCKIN ]] / [[ Boy is in heaven, with Dr Ink as "Deity" ]] http://nameremoved.com/comics/579/ |
| Unique Opportunity (pie) | Dr Quickly: Hello, Rabid! Eat this pie!
/ Rabid: Yeah! Hang on a second! / Rabid: Get back in your terrarium!
/ Snake: Ssss! / Rabid: You couldn't wait?! / Dr Quickly: Delicious pie!!
/ Rabid: Let me save my game!! / Dr Quickly: The pie spoiled.
/ Rabid: Dammit! / Dr Quickly: How about... some pie!
/ Rabid: Sure! / Dr Quickly: Okay!
/ Rabid: Okay? / Dr Quickly: Sure.
/ Rabid: ... / Rabid: This is really good pie!!
/ Dr Quickly: Thanks! / Rabid: What's the filling exactly? ~mmf
/ Dr Quickly: Hell, I don't know. Fruit?
/ Rabid: I LOVE fruit!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/580/ |
| Unique Opportunity (Elvesham) | Rabid: So... what's the catch?
/ Noel: Only that if you leave this room without signing, the deal evaporates. / Rabid: Signed!!
/ Noel: Oh, and now we have to swap bodies. / Rabid: You know what'd be TOTALLY hot is us making out.
/ Rabish: Can I put the groceries down first? / Rabid: Are you done in the bathroom? Wanna make out now?
/ Rabish: I'm getting ready for WORK. / Rabish: Please don't leave! We... we can do makeouts! You're not REALLY acting weird about it!!
/ Rabid: Whatever. / Rabid: Can it wait, stranger? I'm trying to explain to the bartender how my awesome life turned way boring. http://nameremoved.com/comics/581/ |
| Unique Opportunity (split) | Rabid: He's totally wrong, and I can prove it! Should I say something?!
/ Rabish: Fascinating! / [[ YES ]]
/ Rabid: I was there, Doc. It didn't happen that way.
/ Dr Quickly: How rude! / [[ NO ]]
/ Rabid: Good story, Doc! Ha ha!
/ Dr Quickly: Rabid! Fetch us a drink, would you? / [[ YES + ANGRY ]]
/ Dr Quickly: Get out of my party, twerp! / [[ NO + SURE ]]
/ Rabid: Yeah! A drink! Rabish'll love this one. / [[ YES + NOT ANGRY ]]
/ Rabid: Sorry. I'm a stickler. I'm gonna go get a drink. / [[ NO + PFF ]]
/ Rabid: Screw this dumb-ass party!! / [[ YES + ANGRY / NO + PFF ]]
/ Rabid: TAXI!! / [[ YES + NOT ANGRY / NO + SURE ]]
/ Rabid: Doc! You're out of ice! I'll go get some. / [[ YES + ANGRY / NO + PFF ]]
/ Rabid: Stupid taxi. / [[ YES + NOT ANGRY / NO + SURE ]]
/ Rabid: Wh... who are you?! http://nameremoved.com/comics/582/ |
| The Size Rabish Is (big) | Rabid: Happy birthday!! Try it on!! / Dr Quickly: Ah, the daintiest of dainty bonnets for our little lady! I'm very thoughtful! / Rabot: I got you jogging shoes... sneakers... might just leave them outside...
/ << huff puff >> / Noel: I uh got you a card. / Space Frog: THAT'S JUST THE GIFT RECEIPT / Rabish: I SAID "WHAT'S YOUR RETURN POLICY"!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/583/ |
| The Size Rabish Is (small) | Rabid: After last year we pooled our resources. / Rabish: Can I just get like the cash value? / Shopkeep: Ohhh can you come to the Tiny Bank with me, then? / Shopkeep: Wait here, please!
/ Rabish: Okay! / Teller: Oh! I'll have to get the manager! / Manager: Give her the golden acorn of magic. / Manager: But beware! It is magical! / Dr Quickly: Magic? You've been swindled. / << EAT! >> / Rabish: Uh oh... http://nameremoved.com/comics/584/ |
| The Size Rabish Is (magic) | Rabid: Rabish? You home? / Rabid: Hellooo? / Rabish: Hey! RIght here, bozo! / Rabid: Huh. / Rabid: Guess I'll wait for her. / Rabish: Whatcha got, buster?! / Manager: It's magic. An owl made it? / Manager: Woah! Don't do that!! / Rabid: Well maybe you shouldn't eat magic poop! http://nameremoved.com/comics/585/ |
| Space Frog, Rapper (origin) | Space Frog: I'M SPACE FROG AND I'M MAKING UP A RAP / I WANT TO RAP IT FOR YOU SO PLEASE WAKE UP FROM YOUR NAP / Rabid: Wh... Space Frog? What time is it?
/ Space Frog: RAP TIME RAP O'CLOCK / Rabid; Alright, fine. Rap me a rap about... groceries. / Space Frog: TOO HARD GOOD NIGHT / Space Frog: NO WAIT / Space Frog: ALL I EAT IS HOT DOGS SO I'M GOING TO THE STORE
/ Rabid: but but boo ba-boo PUT / Space Frog: I ATE THE ONES I HAD AND I'M GONNA BUY SOME MORE
/ Rabid: put boo but poo put / Space Frog: I ALSO EAT SALAMIS AND ANY OTHER SAUSAGE...
/ Rabid: pop boo put boo / Space Frog: UH / Space Frog: NO OKAY I ALSO EAT SALAMIS AND I'M KNOWN TO CHOMP ON WURST
/ Rabid: spit spot but po put / Space Frog: BUT HOT DOGS ARE MY FAVOURITE AND I HAVE TO BUY THOSE FIRST
/ Rabid: spoot toot bootle but / Space Frog: WHAT ELSE DO I NEED DEODORANT AND MILK UHH / Space Frog: PAPER TOWELS http://nameremoved.com/comics/586/ |
| Space Frog, Rapper (caught) | Space Frog: HELLO I WOULD LIKE TO PURCHASE THESE HOT DOGS CAN I RAP FOR YOU I AM A RAPSTAR
/ Rabot: ... sure. / Space Frog: WHAT SHOULD I RAP ABOUT
/ Rabot: I don't care. Are you going to pay?
/ Space Frog: YES WITH RAPPING / Rabish: I'm BUSY, he can bail his own damn self out. / Dr Quickly: Premeditated verbal assault on a shop-keep is a serious charge!
/ Space Frog: PREMEDITATED BUT I WAS FREESTYLING / Dr Quickly: The surveillance tape shows a confident and practised flow. Can you prove it?
/ Space Frog: BAH / Space Frog: DON'T YOU KNOW I AM AN ARTIST MY ABILITY'S THE LARGEST / Space Frog: PROLLY FOUND YOUR BOGUS CHARGES ON THOSE GARBAGE HAULING BARGES / Dr Quickly: That was awful. / Space Frog: NUTS http://nameremoved.com/comics/587/ |
| Space Frog, Rapper (publicity) | Space Frog: MY PRISON SOJOURN HAS INCREASED MY CREDIBILITY AS A RAPPER I HAVE BEEN SIGNED TO A LABEL
/ Rabid: Oh, wow! / Dr Quickly: You've only recorded one track?
/ Space Frog: BUT IT'S A DOOZY / Space Frog: I HAVE BEEN IN PRISON IT MAKES ME SUPER COOL I COMPLETED THE REQUIREMENTS TO GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL / Space Frog: I GOT A RUDE TATTOO DESCRIBING HOW I FEEL 'BOUT LADIES AND ANOTHER ONE THAT GOT INFECTED OF A CONVERTIBLE MERCEDES / Space Frog: I DIDN'T GET VISITORS BUT THAT IS FOR THE BEST BECAUSE THE PRISONERS WITH VISITORS ARE LOOKED DOWN ON BY THE REST / Space Frog: I ATE THE TASTY FOOD AND SLEPT ON THE TOP BUNK NOBODY HASSLED ME BECAUSE I'M A BAD MOTHER http://nameremoved.com/comics/588/ |
| D-Cell (reload) | Rabid: Hey, it's working! How'd you do that? / Rabid: Look, writing! / Rabid: A riddle! / Rabid: I brought a carrot! Maybe that'll work!! / Rabid: Hm... maybe the flashlight? / Rabid: Nope! I'll try my arm! / << SLAM! >> / Dr Quickly: Here, try this key I found. / Dr Quickly: Dang it! / Narration: With the key destroyed, the crypt is sealed shut. A gentle breeze of fresh air from some thin crack reminds you that your end will come slowly. Reload? Restart? Quit? http://nameremoved.com/comics/589/ |
| D-Cell (rod) | Rabid: Wow! How'd you do that? / Rabid: Oooh... / Dr Quickly: You should just eat that carrot, I have a better idea. / Dr Quickly: This immovable post we picked up earlier should do the trick!! / << GRN GRN GRN GR-CRUNCH >> / Dr Quickly: Ha!
/ << BLINK BL-BLINK BLINK >> / << SLAM! >>
/ Dr Quickly: Here, try this key I just found. / << WHUD >> / Narration: The key is lost under the stone block, along with your friend. Despite careful rationing of your hoagie, you do not survive to meet, years later, the next set of similarly unfortunate explorers. Reload? Restart? Quit? http://nameremoved.com/comics/590/ |
| D-Cell (endgame) | Rabid: Wow! How'd you do that? / Rabid: What are you doing? / Dr Quickly: Help me get this back out.
/ << GRN GRN GRN GR-CRUNCH >> / Dr Quickly: Hold it here. / << SLAM >> / << WHUD >> / Dr Quickly; Come on! / Ghost guard: FOR ME? YOU MAY PASS / Dr Quickly: Give me that, you goof. / Dr Quickly: Sheesh. / Dr Quickly: Get ready to jump on it! / << GROW! >> / Dr Quickly: Ha! / << WINCH WINCH >> / Rabid: I can see our boat! / Narration: Congratulations! You have obtained the lost treasure of the island of the ocean of horror. Final score: 831/1002 http://nameremoved.com/comics/591/ |
| Altruism (crime lord) | Rabish: What are you doing?! / Dr Quickly: Helpin' out!
/ << CRACK >> / Cop: Is... is there a problem, Sir? We got a call...
/ Dr Quickly: Sure ain't! / Dr Quickly: Well, toots, you could say I'm a strong believer in my civic duty. / Noel: No, I often dine with my interview subjects, it's very professional of me. / Dr Quickly: What's this goddamn file doing goddamn out? / Dr Quickly: ANY COMMENT? I'LL EAT YOUR HEART! THIS CITY WILL CRUMBLE INTO DUST WITHOUT ME!! http://nameremoved.com/comics/592/ |
| Altruism (FAI) | Rabish: What are you doing?! / Dr Quickly: Helping out.
/ << PRESS! >> / Dr Quickly: Hello, super powerful artificial intelligence!!
/ AI: Huh. Hello. / AI: You... want everybody to be happy.
/ Dr Quickly: That's why I made you! / AI: Hm...
/ Dr Quickly: I programmed you to know what that means! / AI: I know what it means! I'm just optimizing the solution!!
/ Dr Quickly: Stop yelling! / AI: Your experience of happiness is directly related to a particular proportion of neurotransmitters in a particular part of your brains. / AI: Maximizing happiness means maximizing the number of nerve clusters in that condition. / AI: I'll build a computer out of all the matter in the universe and simulate as many nerve clusters as I can. / Dr Quickly: That's not cool! Stop that immediately!! I command you!! / AI: Think of how much happiness there will be. / AI: Your momentary displeasure is a small price to pay. / Dr Quickly: That's so dumb! Why are you doing this?! You're dumb! Ugh! http://nameremoved.com/comics/593/ |
| Altruism (faerie) | Li'l Beefy: How did you become King of the Faerie?! / Dr Quickly: Helping out!! / Dr Quickly: When I was your age I set out, like you, to find the secret Faerie Kingdom spoken of in my most treasured tales. / Dr Quickly: Deep under the city, a perilous journey... as you well know! / Dr Quickly: There I met the Faerie King. I went on a quest for him, and became his heir.
/ Dr Quickly: So cool! / Li'l Beefy: Maybe I won't have to go back to those mean bullies and my uncaring parents... A quest... / Dr Quickly: My crown does weigh heavy on my aged head... perhaps... / Li'l Beefy: In the name of the Faerie King, I will defeat you, beast!
/ Rat: ? / << SLIP >>
/ Rat: ! / Dr Quickly: Kid, I need to tell you the truth. I just live in the sewers and really love fantasy novels. Kid? http://nameremoved.com/comics/594/ |
| Desperontonian Dick (first case) | Space Frog: MY FIRST CASE I'M STAKING OUT A HOTEL ROOM JUST LIKE THEY TAUGHT ME IN DICK SCHOOL SOME DAME WANTS EVIDENCE FOR HER DIVORCE / Space Frog: LOOKS LIKE HE'S FINALLY SHOWING UP HIS GIRLFRIEND'S BEEN WAITING FOR HOURS / Space Frog: I WONDER IF THERE ARE PEANUTS IN THE MINIBAR / Space Frog: YAY LOTS OF PEANUTS / << BANG BANG >>
/ Space Frog: ... UH OH / Space Frog: HEY I AM A RANDOM PASSERBY IS EVERYTHING OKAY IN HERE THERE WAS A LOUD NOISE OR TWO
/ Rabid: Why... why would she?! / Rabid: You gotta help me, man! Help me HIDE!! / Rabid: Is that a siren?
/ Space Frog: DUDE JUST GET IN THE TRUNK / Space Frog: THAT'S THE DEAD CHICK
/ Rabish: Why would he shoot his sister? / Space Frog: SISTER WHAT / Rabish: It doesn't matter. Let's forget about the divorce for now... I have a new job for you. / Rabish: Take me to where he's hiding. http://nameremoved.com/comics/595/ |
| Desperontonian Dick (twist) | << PREVIOUSLY... >>
/ Rabish: Take me to where he's hiding. / Space Frog: SO OFF WE WENT TO MY SHACK FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON / Rabish: Would you mind waiting in the car?
/ Space Frog: UH YES / Space Frog: HEY GUY I BROUGHT YOU YOUR WIFE
/ Rabid: Huh? My what? / Rabid: Who the hell is she? Why'd you bring her here, idiot?! / Rabish: Where'd she leave it?
/ rabid: I don't know! Her suitcase?!
/ << CRASH >> / << BANG >> / Rabish: Can you drive me to the motel?
/ Space Frog: ARE YOU INSANE / Rabish: Let's not argue. / Space Frog: IF THE COPS AREN'T HERE YET THEN WHERE'S THE BODY / Rabish: WHERE IS IT?! / Rabish: You... were in on it all along! WHERE'D YOU PUT IT, YOU SCUM?!
/ Space Frog: BUT IT / << BANG >> http://nameremoved.com/comics/596/ |
| Desperontonian Dick (thrilling conclusion) | << PREVIOUSLY... >>
/ << BANG >> / Rabish: hgglagglagppf / Noel: You sure know how to cause trouble, Mr Frog. / Space Frog: HEY IT'S THAT DEAD LADY
/ Space Frog: YOU'RE THAT DEAD LADY / << SULT SULT >>
/ Noel: Do I LOOK dead, sugar? / Space Frog: YOUR CHARMS WON'T SWAY ME BUT I NOTICE YOU'RE NOT POINTING THAT HANDLE AT ME SO LET'S TALK
/ Rabish: ghlak hglaa / Space Frog: NOTHING SHE SAID MADE ANY SENSE BUT IT SEEMED REAL IMPORTANT SHE GET TO THE CITY RESERVOIR SO OFF WE GO / Rabid: What'd you bring HIM for?
/ Space Frog: WHOA HI DUDE / Rabid: Good riddance.
/ Noel: Let's go. / Space Frog: UH BYE SEE YA / Space Frog: HER CHARMS KIND OF DID WORK ON ME / Space Frog: NOT BAD FOR A FIRST CASE http://nameremoved.com/comics/597/ |
| Patchstravaganza Page 1: Suggestion | Rabid: "Devil tricks boy into eating a VERY BIG APPLE" / << BING BING >>
/ Dr Quickly: ! / Dr Quickly: This suggestions is SO TERRIBLE I can't use it EVER. / << STRETCH! >>
/ Rabid: It's MONDAY! Maybe he used my suggestion! / Rabid: Aw, nope, I'll come up with another! / Rabid: He hasn't used a single one! I'm... so sad!! / Rabish: I've got to help him... but how?
/ Rabish: Hmm... / Rabish: Hey Space Frog! Do you like webcomics? / Space Frog: YOU'RE NOT A COOL KID WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME / Rabish: Can you... make me cool?
/ Space Frog: MAYBE IF WE HAVE SEX http://nameremoved.com/comics/598/ |
| Patchstravaganza Page 2: Legality | Space Frog: ARE YOU MAD WOMAN THAT ISN'T LEGAL IN ARIZONA -- OR HERE! / << SIZZZ >> / Rabish: You taught me too well, Frog. Now I'm cooler than you.
/ Space Frog: GASP / Rabish: YOU! Webcomic nerd! I'm cool and you work for ME now!!
/ Dr Quickly: GASP!! / Rabot: Your webcomic gets too many hits, now! It's FAMOUS!!
/ Dr Quickly: COOLNESS IS REAL! / Rabid: I feel alienated from this comic now that it is REAL popular and not just... WEBCOMIC popular. / Dr Quickly: I don't understand these jokes.
/ Rabish: They're not JOKES, DORK. They're REFERENCES. http://nameremoved.com/comics/599/ |
| Patchstravaganza Page 3: Trophy | Noel: And the award for... INTERNATIONAL BEST COMIC VOTED BY ALL OF EVERYONE goes to... / Noel: RABISH! By a LANDSLIDE!
/ Rabish: That's because it wasn't just nerds who voted!! / Rabish: Thisss awards paarty SUCK lets go to a BETTER paaarty... / Dr Quickly: That's a lot of drugs.
/ Rabish: IT'S A PARTY / Dr Quickly: Uh, sorry about this... / Rabid: "Cool and favourite writer hospitalized for self-injurious use of controlled substances"... So that's why she hasn't been to class! / Rabid: I'm baking her favourite cookies!! / Rabid: I'm making mix CDs of her favourite songs! / Rabid: I'm making spurious identification so I can sneak into her hospital room!
/ << LAM-inate! >> http://nameremoved.com/comics/600/ |
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